Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Are YOU A Target for A Bully?

mean little boyI’m creating a new workshop on 2 difficult people who are creating a lot of stress for my clients.  Think for a moment who these may be.  If you guessed Bullies and Narcissists you’re correct.  The next few blogs will contain new information about these 2 personality disorders with “possible” strategies on how to deal with them.  I said possible because at times there are NO solutions if the bully or narcissist is high on the personality disorder charts.

I started thinking about my own life and if I was ever a target.  I was surprised when I realized that I was a target not too long ago.  I didn’t even realize this until I started doing research for my clients.  Stay tuned because I will share my story to start you thinking IF you have also been a target. 

Facts About Bullies

Bullies don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s health…or your business’s fiscal health.

  • Bullying is experienced by more than 1/3 of the US workforce
  • Bullying is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment

The majority (68%) of bullying is same gender harassment
 

What is it? Bullying is VIOLENCE

  • Verbal abuse, intimidation, humiliation
  • Sabotage over a significant amount of time
  • Could be bosses, coworkers, friends, relatives, or clients
  • Mistreatment is severe enough to compromise a worker’s health
  • Interpersonal destruction

It’s All about the Bully’s personal agenda


Kinds of Bullies

  • The screaming or verbal bully: screams or throws things:
          words hurt & they humiliate the target
  • The constant critic: Bullies say how incompetent the target is which can cause career destruction
  • The 2 headed snake: destroys by spreading rumors with work teams
  • The gatekeeper: controls by withholding resources necessary for targets to succeed
  • The sadistic or narcissistic bully: lacks empathy towards others
  • The physical bully: action oriented
  • The serial bully: bully seems charming while the target is looked upon as a whiny victim
  • Gang bullies: enjoy being part of the gang

     

     AM I Being Bullied?

  • You are miserable
  • Your work is sabotaged
  • You’re caught off guard and think about the ramifications later on
  • Lack of scars make others think you (the target) is exaggerating

     


    Why me?

  • The best and brightest are targeted
  • You pose a threat somehow to someone who is not developed as a moral human being

     
    Who Gets targeted?

  • Unlike schoolyard bullying, you were not targeted because you were a “loner” without friends to stand up to the bullying gang
  • You’re not a weakling
  • You were targeted because you posed a threat to him or her
  • This is in the mind of the bully
  • Targets are more technically skilled than the bully
  • Targets are better liked and have better social skills
  • Targets have a sense of integrity

Stay tuned for the next blog which will explore why employers make Bullying worse and what the best and brightest companies are doing to put a stop to this epidemic.


 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me when you were targeted by a bully.  Did you resolve the situation or not? 


Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries with bullies and to be more effective at work and in your life. Sound good?
Here’s the LINK


Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.


Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

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“Got” Personality Issues at Work?

conflict 2 men staringYou Really Like Going to Work…Except For: 

  • The colleague who drives you crazy
  • Your team who is having it’s own drama
  • Cliques of like-minded people who are very different than you

If you can relate to these issues, believe me, you are NOT alone!

So, Joyce, What Can I Do When Colleagues Drive ME Crazy Because They Are Not Like Me?

It’s not an easy answer BUT we can resolve this issue. Remind yourself that we can’t put our head on the shoulders of anybody else. Realize that some people are methodical while others like spontaneity. Neither one is better than the other. They are just different behavioral styles. Talk to your team member and spin your discussion positively. Use your humor about your differences that agreeing to disagree is a great first step.  Check out past posts on Different Equals Different…Different Does Not Equal Wrong. 
The strategy below will backfire if your team lacks trust with each other.  Send me a private email before you attempt to have this conversation at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Joyce, Give Me a Strategy to Use…PLEASE!

Glad that you asked. This is an exercise that I use during my Communicate with Impact Training.
Ask the person (Let’s call him Brad) if he is willing to have a productive and honest conversation to improve communication. If Brad agrees,  start asking him what you do that he appreciates. Let Brad know that you appreciate hearing his statement. It’s now your turn to do the same with Brad.

Now comes the tricky part of the strategy. Ask Brad to tell you what you do that drives him crazy. Set a ground rule that this is supposed to be a positive experience…not a boxing match! It’s important for you to either ask Brad for more clarification or thank him for his openness. Now it’s your turn to do the same. Becoming defensive is not a good thing, so make sure and stop yourself from making excuses.

Check out my article on Creating a Culture of Excellence to learn more on how to have this important conversation.

What About You?  It’s Your Turn!  I Want To Hear From You

What successful strategy have you used to clear the air with someone at work?
 CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered.

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries to get control back in your life. Sound good?

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, Communication Strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I teach clients to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

 

 

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Do You Want to Create a Culture of Excellence?

cartoon office gossipDo you want to…

  • Reduce conflict in the workplace?
  • Get along better with your team?
  • Create a culture of excellence?

If so, this article is just for you.  If not you can forward it to someone who NEEDS to hear the message! 🙂  The ideas came from a brainstorming session during one of my training sessions on Creating a Culture of Excellence. 

Select the Following Statements That Fit You and Your Team

  • I will talk to you promptly if I am having a problem with you.  The only time I will discuss it with another person is when I need advice in deciding how to communicate with you in a positive way.
  • I will not back bite or blame.  I will ask you to do the same thing with me.
  • I will not complain about another team member and ask you to do the same.  If I hear you complain about someone, I will ask you to talk to that person.
  • I will do my best to start with a fresh slate and forgive past problems.  I ask you to do the same with me.
  • I will recognize you when you contribute quality work.
  • I will remember that neither of us is perfect, and that human errors are opportunities for learning.

… [Continue reading]

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Are You The Family’s Truth Teller?

cartoon women boxing in long dressesClients and friends ask me how I can be as bold as I am with some of the examples that I share with them.  I realized years ago that most people don’t know how to resolve conflict in the workplace or home.  I see people letting things fester because they don’t have the skills or fear what will happen if they open up their mouth!  It has taken me YEARS of practice, making mistakes, making more mistakes, taking classes, reading, and gaining the respect by others and mainly for myself.

At times my family asks me why I need to be the family’s truth teller.  I tell them what Forrest Gump said when someone asked him what he was going to be, “Aren’t I going to be me?”  Believe me when I tell you that I’m not ALWAYS the bold one.  There are times when I actually hold back because the timing is not the best, or I may be tired and not full of my creative juices for that moment.  BUT, when I see things that need to be said, in a positive way, you better believe that I point these things out to clients, friends and family.  It is not always easy but I get a great night’s sleep because I don’t constantly think about unresolved issues.

This post contains quotes from people who you will recognize about this very topic.  I do hope that they will give your the courage to either speak up or hold back if you are one of the aggressive communicators. 🙂 … [Continue reading]

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Discover Important Tips Before Accepting a Promotion

i'm the bossRecently I have had some interesting “side bar” discussions  from people in my Leadership workshops.  Participants come up to me on breaks and the conversations go like this:

“Joyce I’m glad that I received a promotion because I’m making more money,  BUT…

  • “I haven’t received any training for this new position and I’m way out of my league.”
  • “I didn’t know that I was going to be responsible for so many direct reports.”
  • “My boss didn’t tell me that I was going to travel weekly with this new position.”

I feel such stress pouring out of these new leaders.  They are overwhelmed and don’t feel that they can do anything about this.  Let’s face it, most of us will NOT turn down a chance for a promotion.  First of all the company will not be impressed if we say, ‘NO” for what ever reason we give to them.  Plus we could be even more frustrated if we turn down a promotion because that could be the stepping stone that we are looking for our own success.… [Continue reading]

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831