Assumptions get us in trouble when we don’t know the whole story!
                                      Joyce Weiss, Queen of Conflict Resolution

In this issue of Kick Conflict to the Curb™, we will cover one of my favorite questions that I share with coaching clients and during facilitation sessions.

Managing conflict efficiently is essential in your continuous efforts to maintain an atmosphere of cooperation and respect. It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to easy resolutions. 

Are you ready to explore this question and how it can help you as a Department Head or Leader to de-escalate conflicts with your direct reports?

A Powerful Question that Changed the Way I Resolve Conflicts

The following story happened to me at the beginning of my training career. A Department Head invited me to facilitate a session about Kicking Conflict to the Curb™ with her team.

I have shared the opening story during numerous facilitation programs. Audiences relate to it and usually react with smiles or quiet laughter. Not this time. No one reacted!

A few minutes later, I asked them to divide into groups of 3 to discuss case scenarios their peers shared in the pre-interviews. No one stood up, and they just stared at me.

Yikes! What was going on? Self-doubt started creeping into my mind. What was I doing wrong? The session ended, and I approached my client to discuss the program. She smiled and said, “Joyce, your content was great. And I forgot to tell you that they had a two-hour cocktail party before your  session.”

I learned a huge lesson from that experience. I now ask clients if there will be cocktail parties before my session! 

The question that I learned was – What Don’t I Know?  This one question could have changed the entire training if I assertively asked the group, What don’t I Know? They would have told me that they needed a nap. 😉 It had nothing to do with the content or my skills. 

Today’s Recap  of The Power of What Don’t I Know to Resolve Conflicts

Think about your conflicts and how to use “What Don’t I Know” to stop assumptions or conflict from escalating. This one question gives you information that you probably didn’t think about.

It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to resolutions. 

The great news is that when you learn to stop any process that isn’t going well and ask, “What don’t I know?” it will be a lifesaver during meetings and even with your family! 🙂

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Join the conversation: What questions have you found effective for resolving conflict in your workplace? Please share your experience, and let’s learn from each other.

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Please join Willie Jones,  Central Distribution Manager at Behler-Young Company, and me on the live broadcast on LinkedIn on April 3rd at Noon ET. We will have an essential and engaging conversation on “Addressing Issues Head-On with Passion!”

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy 

And Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

 “The worse sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them.” – Bernard Shaw, Playwright

“You get what you tolerate!” – Joyce Weiss, Communication Coach

Joyce’s Thoughts About Healthy Conflict

Leaders who understand healthy conflict create a positive work environment. This article reviews essential strategies that clients learn during small group facilitation sessions. You will see an increase in motivation when your team feels heard and respected. This is nothing new, yet I hear coaching clients say they leave jobs when they cannot use their voices and feel invisible.

My central theme in everything I do as a communication coach is to be direct with leaders. They need to know their “tell approach,” and ignoring the needs of their employees never works. These are two reasons employees leave the company—it’s not for more money; it’s about feeling ignored and silenced.

What is Unhealthy Conflict? 

• Build up of issues that needed to be addressed but instead went unresolved
• Leaders who are blind-sighted by not addressing conflict
• Department managers who are closed to continuous improvement or coaching due to their insecurity and risk-averse tendencies 

Great Leaders Know the Importance of Healthy Conflict:

• Listen: Understand the issues underlying silence and conflicts
• Ask for what they need from the team
• Find out what others need first
• Create openness and promote discussions
• Clarify expectations before conflicts arise
• Model the importance of healthy conflict at meetings
• Make dissent normal and encourage employees to add their opinion
• Include employees to be part of the coaching process to get input from everyone

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you?

You can share in the comment section or email me HERE.

You’re Invited to Schedule a Complimentary “Jam with Joyce” Coaching Session

Let’s resolve any conflict you are experiencing at work or home. So you can transform from feeling overlooked to confidently using your voice.  
Let’s Kick Conflict to the Curb™ together!

Here’s my calendar:
mailto:joyce@joyceweiss.com

I support Department Managers in inspiring and educating their direct reports, tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to use their voices confidently without losing their cool. The result is that their input is respected and recognized, and their expertise is taken seriously.

Growth-minded individuals are also welcome to “Jam with Joyce.”

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.