Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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The Art of Starting Tough Conversations

The Art of Starting Tough Conversations

“There are no guarantees that your conversation will go well. It could backfire. At least you shared your thoughts and can figure out how to proceed.”
                              – Joyce Weiss, Communication Coach & Facilitator

Introduction to The Art of Starting Tough Conversations tough conversations

Welcome back to “Kick Conflict to the Curb™,” the blog where we tackle the most challenging tough conversations and turn them into opportunities for growth. 

Ever replay conversations in your head, thinking, “I shouldn’t have said those words?” This issue provides tools for turning these challenges into more meaningful connections.

Today, we feature Beth Granger, a certified “Exactly What To Say” guide. We discuss the everyday struggles people face in communication. 

Navigating Tough Conversations

Fear and discomfort are challenges we face when we start tough conversations.
One of the most straightforward tools is a strategy I call “Make Conversations Safe.” It is part of the Weiss Communication Success Plan.

Start by saying, “I don’t want to create stress between us. I do want to have an important conversation with you about productivity.”  This lets the other person know your expectations. 

There are no guarantees that your conversation will go well. It could backfire, especially if the person is a bully. At least you shared your thoughts and can figure out how to proceed.

Common Struggles in Tough Conversations

I asked Beth, “What do you think are the common themes where people struggle in communication?” 

Watch the short clip below to explore how Beth addresses the discomfort many feel when starting a conversation and what to do when discussions take a wrong turn. 

How does this blog post speak to you? What takeaway did you discover? Please comment in the section below, and let’s start an engaging conversation.

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Are you ready to stop the silence at meetings and engage others to speak openly? Please watch the video below to explore articles and videos at JoyceWeiss.com that you can use for your newsletter to stop the drama and enjoy going to work!

I work with leaders who want to create a culture where employees feel heard and not invisible – driving greater engagement, retention, and productivity.

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Here’s the link to the full newsletter, where you will see another outstanding short clip from Beth Granger’s interview.

Please subscribe Here and receive the latest LinkedIn newsletter issues to help you Kick Conflict to the Curb™.
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Until Next Time, 

Joyce Weiss, M.A. CSP, CVP
Communication Coach and Facilitator

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To a Healthy Conflict Day!

And Remember, “You Get What You Tolerate!

Will it be CHAOS or CALM?

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A Life Lesson Only My Kids Could Teach Me

Can you remember a life lesson that you learned from your kids? This post will help you search your memory bank if you can’t. 🙂

Parenting often feels like a tightrope, balancing providing support and fostering independence. As our children grow, especially during their teenage years, we may feel compelled to step in and offer help, sometimes more than they might need. But is all this “help” truly helpful? 

This question became profoundly personal when my adult son and daughter gave me candid feedback about my tendency to overstep. What I learned has changed how I approach my role as a mother and even extends into my professional life. Here’s how I discovered the balance between being a supportive presence and stepping back.

The Background to My Life Lesson

It’s surprisingly easy for parents to overlook the issue of overhelping. As much as we want to be there for our children, especially as they transition into their teenage years, our intentions can sometimes misfire.

I learned this firsthand when my adult son and daughter expressed frustration with my tendency to offer unsolicited advice. They candidly informed their “helpful” mother that my guidance often came across as “I don’t think you can handle this on your own.” Ouch! 

Discovering Blind Spots From Our Kids

That struck a chord because I had no intention of sending that message. I genuinely believed I was helping them navigate their challenges. This feedback illuminated my blind spot and prompted me to shift my approach: I learned to listen instead of advising when they shared their struggles. They didn’t necessarily want solutions; they just needed someone to listen.

My Life Lesson from A Professor

On the first day of my master’s program in Counseling, my professor shared a profound statement that has remained with me: “Is help helpful?” This simple question has become a valuable lesson that I carry with me in my coaching and facilitation sessions. Of course, we’re all human, and I occasionally forgot those wise words during my kids’ teenage years.

Now, I strive to embrace my role as a supportive presence rather than a problem-solver, allowing my children and grandchildren to seek my input when they genuinely need it. Here’s to learning the art of thoughtful support and recognizing when to step back!

Concluding Thoughts

Learning not to over-help has deepened my relationships with my children and grandchildren. By focusing on listening rather than fixing, I’ve realized that sometimes the greatest gift we can give our loved ones is simply our presence and confidence in their abilities. So here’s to embracing the beauty of thoughtful support, knowing that sometimes less is more.

What Life Lesson Did You Learn From Your Children?

This is the time for you to share your story about the life lessons you learned from your family. Let’s start an exciting conversation. Humility is cool in my book. 🙂We sure don’t have all the answers as parents.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or email me HERE.

Please email me here if you’d like to explore working with me as a communication coach or facilitator.

We made it easy for you to share this blog on your favorite social media platforms. The links to the sites are below.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach and Facilitator
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Remember, “You Get What You Tolerate”
Will it be Chaos or Calm?

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Get Ready to Take Control of Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations plague professionals across the board. Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Additionally, clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Rather than pushing back or getting even,  you can gain control of the situation. In fact, seething in silence doesn’t help to diplomatically deal with unkind people. The solution is called Verbal Aikido. It’s a communications technique that won’t get you fired.

What is Aikido?

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense. It uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker. And creates balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment. Additionally, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Verbal Aikido Basics to Get in Control of Difficult Conversations difficult people

The cardinal rule of Verbal Aikido is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #1 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusation, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” Don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a Verbal Aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses. And gives the other person nothing to push against.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #2 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

Suppose you’re giving constructive feedback to a male coworker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming “heated” and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. In fact, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

How would you respond during either one of these 2 examples about Verbal Aikido?

Please share your thoughts and let’s continue this important conversation.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How can you see using Verbal Aikido? 
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.
 

Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

 

 

 

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A Powerful Communication Tool to Use with Supervisors

Do these questions resonate with you?

  • Has your supervisor discounted you in front of your team?
  • Are you tired of gossip and negativity?

If so, this article will give you a communication tool to start using immediately with your supervisor and team.  You will learn 2 strategies that I teach during professional coaching sessions and resolving conflict trainings.  It will be a great review for those of you who are familiar with these communication tools.

Communication Tool #1:
Expressing your concern to a supervisorcommunication tool

This case scenario is one that happens way too often.  Your supervisor discounts you in front of your direct reports.  Here’s a communication tool to use to voice your concern.

Make the conversation safe by using:  I don’t want – I do want.
I don’t want to be disrespectful.
I do want to communicate my concern about questioning my decisions in front of my team.

Next use the power talk formula:  I am – when – because
I am discouraged when my decisions are discounted in front of my team because it discredits my leadership.

Communication Tool #2:  Stop team negativity communication tool

This communication tool is perfect to use when you are sick of team gossip or negativity.  You can use this in front of your entire team or with an individual.

I don’t want to hear constant gossip and negativity.
I do want people to communicate directly to each other when there is an issue and NOT gossip with others.

I am concerned when I hear team gossip and negativity because the atmosphere at work is toxic.

Joyce’s Thoughts

There are no guarantees that you will get the results that you want after using these communication tools. These strategies are a great way to start the conversations. You will respect yourself for expressing yourself.  Hopefully your supervisor and team will respect you for being open in a respectful way.

Remember these two leadership ideas:

  • Leaders need to empower their team members to resolve communication issues on their own.
  • The team can meet with the leader only when the team attempts to resolve the issues on their own.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you successfully share your concerns with your supervisor. What stories or expressions help you get through these conversations? You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Read my more articles about communication tools HERE.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

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How to Improve Meetings and Increase Morale

Do you want to improve meetings and increase morale?
Have you seen creativity disappear the moment someone says something negative?

Whatever you do … don’t squelch creativity.  This article will help you reduce conflict in the workplace and improve meetings by NOT using certain words.

Improve Meetings by Avoiding these words: team building lessons | improve meetings

  • Yes, but….
  • We tried that before
  • We haven’t got the manpower
  • Don’t rock the boat
  • Great idea, but not for us
  • It’s not in the budget
  • Silence….

Improve Meetings by using positive phrases career coach | improve meetings

When someone says one of the killer phrases you can always put a spin on the statement by saying,

  • “If we could try that idea what do you think will happen?”
  • “If we did have enough people, how would that make a difference?”
  • “If we did have money in the budget, what is the first thing that you would do with it to increase morale?”

You will be amazed at how fast conflict in the workplace is lessened when the team starts paying attention to these killer phrases. You will improve meetings and hear more laughter at work!

Improve Meetings by Adding Fun

My clients create ground rules to make sure that the team knows that they will be held accountable if they say the killer phrases.  The team needs to be consistent and hold everyone responsible if the negative words are mentioned.

Of course…the idea is to add some fun in the workplace while you improve meetings and increase morale.
We don’t want to add more stress to your environment, so do your best to add a positive spin to this activity! 🙂

You can have the guilty party place $1.00 in a pot which can be used to give to the team’s favorite charity, pizza or ice cream. Please send me ideas on how you have stopped these negative phrases to reduce conflict in your workplace.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with negativity to improve meetings. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.  Send me an email here or share your ideas in the comment section.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address conflict resolution in the workplace here.

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831