Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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October 26, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Surprisingly Easy Ways to Deal with Chronic Complainers | Part 2

Hello Dear Blog Readers!

Welcome to Part 2 of this blog series: Surprisingly Easy Ways to Deal with Chronic Complainers.

We covered 2 stories about chronic complainers in Part 1. They included 2 people who complained about packing for a trip and cleaning their house after construction workers left a mess.
Additionally, I also shared tips on how to deal with these chronic complainers.

Read Part 1 to discover or recap the stories and tips.

This week you will find more ideas on how to deal with these chronic complainers. There are several studies that show employees leave jobs because of these toxic workers. Additionally, they are tired of listening to their whining.

I coach others on how to stop this wasted productivity. Listening to chronic complainers takes up too much time.

Strategy #1 On How to Deal with Chronic Complainers

chronic complainers
A chronic complainer is whining to her colleagues.
  • These toxic people complain about work, relationships, family, the long commute, the rainy weather, age, and drum rolls – politics!
  • We feel drained after we listen and listen.
  • They have legitimate complaints at times.
  • The problem is that most of their toxic words can become contagious and look out for morale going south.
  • It’s ok to validate their comment at first.
  • Say something like, “I can see why you are so upset.”
  • This works with others who are not chronic complainers. Additionally, all they want to do is have someone hear about their complaint.

Validation can make things worse with chronic complainers. And you can fall into the trap and the whining can go on 

Strategy # 2 On How to Deal with Chronic Complainers

  • Ask them if they would like to hear your thoughts about the complaint.
  • You may be lucky and create a case scenario that shows the complainer another option.
  • Additionally, this may fuel the fire.
  • Handle this strategy carefully.
  • Don’t sound judgmental or critical.
  • I know that you know this! I just need to give you a friendly reminder so YOU don’t get pulled into the complainer’s drama.

Strategy # 3 On How to Deal with Chronic Complainers

  • Set a personal boundary on how long you will listen to the chronic complainer.
  • Exit gracefully.
  • Let them know that you have a meeting in 5 minutes.
  • Hopefully, they will get the hint.

Here are 2 questions for you:

  1. What is the complaint that you hear at work that you are sick and tired of hearing?
  2. How does your family drive you crazy with their chronic whining?

Please comment in the comment section.

You can send me a private email with personal issues that you want to explore.

Read Part 1 to discover or recap the stories and tips.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your ideas in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links on the left.  Easy Peasy! 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.

Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

Filed Under: complainers, Dealing with Complainers
Tagged With: employee morale, work stress

September 10, 2017 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Conflict Resolution Techniques to Ditch Negative People

Conflict resolution techniques help my clients cope especially when they are surrounded by complainers and the other usual negative suspects.

Below you will find two of my favorite expressions that I share with my clients who want to ditch negative people in their life.
1.  Don’t walk away from grumpy people, RUN!
2. Resolving conflict is like riding a bike:  Shift gears to successfully navigate life’s potholes, ruts, and obstacles.

This article contains three conflict resolution techniques that I use in my coaching sessions to help clients protect themselves from those toxic downers.

Conflict Resolution Techniques #1:  Protecting Yourself

Write the name of a person who brings you down. Plan to protect yourself from this person’s negativity.  Take back your power. Only you can make yourself feel insecure.  Tell yourself that no one makes you feel inferior without your consent.

Conflict Resolution Techniques #2:  Finding People Who Appreciate You

Make a list of people who you like being around.  Replace people who pull you down with people who encourage and appreciate you. The choice, in many cases, is up to you.  They may be your colleagues who support your efforts at work or friends who like you for your unique style.

Identify cheerleaders in your life. Notice what they do to encourage you. Let them know how they have impacted your life.

Conflict Resolution Techniques #3:  Preparing a Response to Stop Negatoids

Notice the people in your life who are raining on your parade, who tell you something can’t be done or that’s impossible. Give them plenty of space, with a suggestion such as “Don’t’ tell me it’s impossible until after I’ve done it!”

Let the cynics and downers spin themselves into their own negative web. They delight in complaining while others are doing what seemed impossible.

“Happy people feel that they can direct the course of their own lives and get where they are going, even though the going may be rough. People who are obsessed with their mistakes, who are stuck on the missed opportunities of the past, have no time to be happy. The past is unchangeable. Trying to change it is the source of most unhappiness.”

Sherwin T. Wine, Founder, The Center for New Thinking

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments here on how you cope with negative people at work or home.  This is a challenge for all of us and there is always hope when we gain control from these toxic people.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Knowledge Base Page Conflict in the Workplace Here.

This is Joyce Weiss, Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

LEARN MORE how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace here.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Dealing with Complainers, Internal stress
Tagged With: resolve conflict and interpersonal issues, stress relief exercises

July 2, 2017 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Effective Communication and Leadership Strategies

Effective CommunicationDo you know if you use effective communication strategies?
Do you know how your team honestly thinks how you conduct meetings?
What do you think the #1 reason is why teamwork fails?

I ask my leaders and their direct reports to answer this questions during training and executive coaching sessions. The number one reason is poor communication strategies at work. I’m sure that this is no surprise to you.

The following reasons were also mentioned:

  • Disengaged team members
  • Unclear goals/strategies
  • One-upmanship
  • Lack of trust
  • Everyone likes to talk, but few like to listen
  • Negativity

This article will cover three effective communication strategies to discuss with your team especially if you are a leader who wants to improve your team communication.

Effective Communication Strategy #1: Strong Leadership

Ask your team how they would you rate your own communication skills. I’m sure your team is doing well if you receive honest feedback and the score is high.
I find that leaders who don’t know how to deal with disengaged team members miss a huge opportunity because the engaged members start resenting their leader for NOT taking care of disengagement.

Effective Communication Strategy #2: Leaders Taking Control of Meetings

You read this right. Sometimes we think that our meetings are better than they really are and thanks to the feedback we can find out if this is true! The following are questions to discuss with your team:

  • Do you encourage participation from everyone?
  • Do you control side bars when people discuss their own agendas to the person next to them?
  • Are your goals and expectations clear?
  • Do you follow up to make sure tasks are getting completed?Your meetings are probably not the most productive if your team did not answer yes to these questions. Asking for and accepting constructive feedback from direct reports is the sign of a strong leader.

Effective Communication Strategy #3: Knowing How to Stop Negativity

Ask yourself these important questions:

  • Is morale low because your team talks about the same negative topics and nothing gets resolved?
  • Do you notice new direct reports starting to lose their enthusiasm because of a few team complainers?

Leaders need to take negativity seriously because their team expects them to stop the negative people from draining the oxygen in the room. I’ve written numerous articles on how everyone is responsible for team morale even though it starts with leaders.

Let’s Get Real About Effective Communication

You’re fortunate if your team gives you constructive feedback about your communication and leadership skills. In past articles, I’ve discussed the importance of uncovering blind spots that we all possess. Executive coaching is a perfect venue to delve into these issues. Clients learn about themselves and the results speak for themselves especially when team members start noticing the positive change.

You can hire someone to do a 360 interview about yourself by asking your supervisor, direct reports, colleagues, and clients to anonymously discuss your strengths and areas of improvement. Feel free to send me an email if you want to find out about this important exercise.

Check out my article on Strategic Communication Strategies to Help Employees Grow.

Hopefully, you know when your meetings, morale, or team communication are productive. At times, we are so busy doing our important tasks that we are blind to see what’s really going on with our softer skills. That’s why feedback is a 2-way street and not just for direct reports.

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on how you and your leaders deal with disengaged team members, negativity or making meetings productive.

This is Joyce Weiss, Leadership Consultant and Executive Coach

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of communication and leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address executive coaching strategies here.

Until next time,

Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

Filed Under: Communication Skills, Dealing with Complainers, Improve meetings
Tagged With: constructive feedback, effective communication, employee morale

April 5, 2015 By Joyce Weiss 2 Comments

Complaints Reveal A Lot About A Person

mean little boyThere are times when most of us feel empathy for others who make legitimate complaints about health, relationships, work etc.  BUT there are other times when the complaints are so outrageous that we want to walk away or yell at the other person.  I was at a restaurant the other day and heard the following conversations:

“My house is so dusty and I can’t wait for the crew to leave!” You may be thinking so, Joyce what’s the big deal? The complainer is so lucky to have the resources to have her house remodeled. Dirt and dust are part of the reality when we are able to have home improvement. It is what it is.

This person’s friend didn’t miss a beat and in a VERY whiny voice said, “I’m not looking forward to going home because I have to pack for our 3 week cruise.” Again, you may be more tolerant to complainers than I am. This traveler is fortunate to go on such a luxurious vacation and packing is part of the equation when one travels. It is what it is! These 2 friends are perfect for each other.

So, Joyce, What are you telling us?

Complaints reveal a lot about the person who is speaking. We all know spoiled adults who sound like 2 year old children who are inconvenienced. They don’t do well when either large or small changes happen in their life. It can be a huge stress if we are unfortunate enough to work or live with people like this. Of course we all can turn into complainers at times…we are all human. I’m talking about the chronic complainer.

Here are 2 questions for you

1. What is a complaint that drives you crazy?

2. How do you handle people who are chronic complainers?

Click HERE to send me your responses

Click HERE for my article on Stop Complainers at Work or Home.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Click HERE to discover Joyce’s books that will bring a smile to your face while learning how to deal with those tough people in your life.

Click HERE for my article on Stop Complainers at Work or Home.

Filed Under: Dealing with Complainers, Improving Communication, Internal stress
Tagged With: dealing with complainers, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues, stress

March 15, 2015 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Why You HAVE to Run Away From Negatoids

If you ever are in one of my training sessions you will probably hear me saying,  “Don’t walk away from negative people…Run!” 
Why? mean old lady

Negative people are…

  • toxic
  • boring
  • dangerous
  • energy drainers      

Is that enough already?

They wallow in their problems and don’t focus on solutions.  They want to suck us in and join their PITY PARTY so they feel better about themselves.  The interesting thing is that most people want to run away from them, but never think that they can.  It’s human nature to feel obligated to listen to complainers because we don’t want to be rude.  How about giving this a new spin…They are being rude and taking your valuable time while sucking all of your energy.  There is a fine line between listening to someone who is complaining and getting pulled into their toxic behavior. 

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any!

Joyce, How Can I Put a Different Spin on the Negativo?

You can avoid getting drawn in by setting limits and distancing yourself from them.  One of my clients gave me this brilliant idea.  If you are a non smoker and a person is smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the secondhand smoke?  Of course not.  You’d distance yourself.  You need to start doing the same with complainers.  Of course if you run away from a negative person and they continue to follow you, I strongly suggest that you have the honest and tough conversation by using Be Direct with Respect®. 

Click on this link to watch my short video to help you reduce conflict in the workplace and deal with these negatoids. 

I want to hear from you!  … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace, Dealing with Complainers
Tagged With: dealing with negative people, how to improve communication skills, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues

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Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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