Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Surprisingly Easy Ways to Deal with Chronic Complainers | Part 1

Chronic complainers are everywhere these days! Sure, we feel empathy for others who complain about health, relationships, or work. And there are other times when the complaints are so outrageous that we want to walk away or yell at the other person. At least I do! 😊 constant complainers

Story 1 About Chronic Complainers

I was at a restaurant the other day and heard the following conversations:

“My house is so dusty, and I can’t wait for the construction crew to leave!”

You may be thinking so, Joyce what’s the big deal? The complainer is so lucky to have the resources to have her house remodeled. Dirt and dust are part of the reality when we have home improvement projects. It is what it is.

Story 2 About Chronic Complainers

At another table, I heard a person say, “I’m not looking forward to going home because I have to pack for our 3-week cruise.”

Again, you may be more tolerant of complainers than I am. This traveler is fortunate to go on such a luxurious vacation and packing is part of the equation when one travels. It is what it is! These 2 friends are perfect for each other.

So, Joyce, What are You Saying?

Complaints reveal a lot about the person who is speaking. We all know spoiled adults sounding like 2-year-old children and who are inconvenienced.
They don’t do well when either large or small changes happen in their life. It’s stressful if we work or live with people like this.

Of course, we all can turn into complainers at times. We are all human. I’m talking about chronic complainers.

Joyce, Please Give us a Tip on How to Deal with These Chronic Complainers & Whiners

Here are some options for dealing with chronic complainers: chronic complainers |improved work-life balance

  • Validate the person by saying, “That must be tough.”
  • Repeat the complainer’s situation and maybe they will come up with a solution {it’s possible 😊}.
  • Ask the complainer if you can give your opinion. You can ask, “What other reasons could George have been promoted and not you?” They may help the complainer to get out of the victim role if you are lucky.
  • You always have the right to express how you have a meeting in 5 minutes if you have done your best to listen and the victimization goes on and on.

Here are 2 questions for you:

1. What is a complaint that drives you crazy?

2. How do you handle people who are chronic complainers?

Please comment in the comment section.

You can always send me a private email.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule. Discover the details HERE
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

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Are We Biased “Thinking that We Know” Our Blind Spots? A Funny Story

The Importance of Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

Science has proven that we all have a blind spot bias and that many of us aren’t aware of this. Of course, this has negative consequences. Because at times we don’t listen to the feedback from others when they share their opinion about our blind spots. We are certain that we know our story – no blind spots.

Blind Spots are 2 words that coaches love using. It’s an important aspect to uncover blind spots for clients and ourselves too!

The Johari Window is a coaching tool that is still powerful today. Part of the Johari Window is knowing your blind spots. It’s so much fun when we get together in small teams and do this exercise. People are shocked that they didn’t see their own blind spot until a team member pointed it out in the exercise.  There are some people who deny them. That’s another blog post, I’m sure.

The story below happened at a restaurant when I was dining with friends. We were talking with our waiter, Claud, and the story’s conclusion was better than a dark chocolate dessert!

Here we go with another TRUE story.

Story:  Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

I gave my waiter, Claud a compliment stating that our friends enjoyed having him serve us. He thanked us and added some details to the complement. This is what he said, “Thanks. I’m training the new waiter because he stays at the customer’s table way too long. And gives guests so many details about his background in the food industry. I’ve told him that there is a fine line in being friendly and overbearing.”

Claud’s comments made sense. Until – he came back and spent 10 minutes talking to us about his resume. Are you ready for more? He brought over a chair and decided to join us while he was talking.

You may think that this is a nice moment in fine dining.

Claud had a blind spot. No, I didn’t point it out to him. He didn’t see that his actions were exactly what he was training the new waiter not to do.

Lesson About Knowing Our Blind Spots

We all have a bias about our blind spots. The lucky people who are in deep and trusting relationships or who learn from a coach benefit from this feedback.  Because they understand the importance of going deep and discovering blind spots.

Claud just told us about his mentee and how he was training him. Claud didn’t see the irony of his story.

We have to admit to ourselves that our reality is only one of the many realities that exist.

It’s important to be open to others who are brave enough to share their opinions. This may be a golden opportunity for your professional or personal growth.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What are some of your blind spots? Let’s celebrate that you know these and had the courage to go deep!

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call HERE

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach

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A Powerful Reminder to Reduce Drama in Your Life

reduce drama

  • Do you want to reduce drama in your life?
  • Are there people whose high drama wastes your time?
  • Does this affect your stress level at work or home?

Most of us have drama queens or kings who zap our energy. Yet, we forget that we can set boundaries and actually change this reality.

Yearly I do a serious job of spring and fall cleaning. And, my list consists of clothes, clutter in my home or office, and relationships that are toxic.  All of these things reduce drama in my life – Big Time!

You heard me right.  We all have those who constantly complain yet never change anything in their life.  Or, their life is full of such hype it’s exhausting to listen. Life is too short to be around draining people who rain on our parade.

Here’s how I reduce drama and handle my spring and fall cleaning with these people:

  • Make a list of those who drain you.
  • Add people to your list who you want and need to spend more time with. 
  • Who makes you laugh, smile, think, learn, etc?   
  • Compliment those people in your life who you enjoy. 

Remember this the next time you speak to a friend who complains about everything.  In fact, I’m not saying to end the relationship. Set boundaries to protect yourself from this drama king or king. Make sure that you limit visits with this person.

Yes, I do this too.  There are certain people who need to be in my life. And they are HUGE triggers for me. When I’m on the phone with these triggers, I make sure and say that I only have 10 minutes to talk before the next zoom meeting. This really helps.

Life is too short not to be with those who support you and bring joy to your life.   

Please let me know how this photo of drama kings and queens speaks to you in the comment section.

Stay Connected with Me

Please add a comment to this blog on how you deal with those drama kings or queens on your team or in your life. 

  • What stories or expressions help you?
  • What boundaries do you use?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 

You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work. I’m your communication coach. And, I’m here to help you reduce drama NOW!

 Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

Find your voice with Joyce!
Send me an email if you want to grab your complimentary cool booklet on “19 Surefire Ways to Bring More Joy & Harmony Into Your Life.”

PS Communication Coaching is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!

 

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2 Positive Quotes to Help You Look at the Bright Side

Happy Fall Everyone! 

This week’s article is all about helping you look at the bright side.  And, you will find 2 positive quotes to get you started. 
I decided to take a short break from messages about resolving conflict. There can be so much to celebrate in our life. Even though drama seeps into our day. 🙂

Positive Quotes #1

 

People ask me why I smile so much. Full disclosure here! My smile lines are huge. Believe me, I don’t show a happy face 24/7. Yes, Joyce Weiss, the upbeat person is a human being.

I choose to be optimistic. It’s in my DNA. And, I’m lucky to have had parents who were such great role models in this area.  They didn’t have it easy like so many of your parents. They did their best to look for opportunities when “life got in our way.” 

There is so much negativity surrounding us.  It’s hard at times to disconnect our brains from the bad stuff. It’s a challenge to look for opportunities when we are so gloomy.

This pandemic was tough for all of us.  Obviously, many of us experienced horrific loss and sickness. I was fortunate to join groups like the video rock starz and The World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit (WBECS).  This is where I learned so many new techniques about coaching and online courses. There was literally no time for me to stay stuck. I don’t take this for granted.

What about you? What do you do to stay optimistic about your future? 

Positive Quotes #2

 

positive quote

This is one of my favorite positive quotes. And, it shows up in my life quite often.  Optimism sure helps when we try new things. And, they don’t work out as well as we wanted.  Sound familiar? 

I prepared for a master class and invited clients and prospects to my new online course.  The master class was a hit UNTIL – I started aggressively selling. And, it was not the real me. I took courses on how to create a successful master class. And, followed every detail from my instructor since she was the expert.  

The moral of this story is that we need to be true to ourselves. The strong selling portion was just not me. People did sign up. That’s not the point! I felt like another person was doing that portion of the master class. 

The good news is that we learn when we fall. This wasn’t a huge mistake. BUT, it was enough for me to know that I need to rethink the next master class. Believe me when I say that I learned – no more selling on steroids!

What about you? What lesson did you learn when you “fell off your mountain?”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you? Which one of the positive quotes speaks to you? 
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. Joyce Weiss – the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call.

 

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Gain Control if You Work for a Real Jerk: 3 Easy Tips You Can Use: Part 5

  • Do you want to stop your inner stress if you work with a real jerk?real jerk | work for a jerk
  • Are you stuck with a nonteam player who is constantly putting others {even you} down?
  • It took me a while to figure out how to do this myself.

This article is about 3 easy strategies that I experimented with when dealing with my real jerk.  They are tested and yes, they do work. 🙂

As you know, your rude coworker drains a lot of time and energy from anyone who works with this real jerk. 

An interesting study about real jerks

Christine Porath, the author of Mastering Civility, surveyed 800 people across 17 industries. Porath concluded that when employees don’t feel respected, their productivity suffers. 

Here are some shocking statistics from Porath’s research:

  • 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers when they work with a real jerk. {Ouch!}
  • 12% said they left their job because of this rudeness.

My question to you and your leaders is how much is this costing your organization from not stopping these real jerks? I hope you’re listening! 😉 

This is the final article in the 5 part series: “Working with a Jerk.”

The previous articles covered real jerks who:

  • Purposely stepped on a co-worker’s foot 
  • Sarcastically ridiculed a colleagues’ clothes
  • Erased a co-worker’s name from the company recognition board because he was jealous of the co-worker’s success 

I have not made up any of these stories.  You will find more in future articles. Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks

Here we go with 3 ideas you can use to reduce your inner stress if you work for a real jerk

Practice THE GAP Technique: Strategy #1 to reduce inner stress working with a real jerk

THE GAP is your Safe Place to decide what you will say or not say before opening up your mouth. This is one of the strategies in the WEISS COMMUNICATION SUCCESS PLAN. real jerk

  • Decide how you will handle this situation. 
  • Are you going to speak directly to your real jerk? 
  • Do you want to discuss this with HR before you move forward?
  • Is it better to avoid this person?

Talk with your rude colleague:  Strategy #2 to reduce your drama with your real jerk

This is a great idea if you have a solid relationship with this co-worker.  

  • Focus on the issue – not the person.
  • Discuss how this negative behavior is harming your relationship.
  • Listen to what your colleague says and do your best NOT to push back.
  • Get into his or her shoes and gain perspective on what you are hearing.

You may discover that this rudeness has nothing to do with work. And, when you have a positive conversation, things may work out better for you.

There’s always a risk that things may backfire. For those of you who know me, go on and say out loud what I will write;  “It’s worth the risk!”  At least you started the conversation. And, you expressed how you are being impacted.

Decide the pros and cons to leaving this toxic environment: Strategy #3 to gain control with your real jerk

The biggest issue is when leaders have a blind eye to these real jerks. They are doing so much harm when they don’t address these rude people. real jerk | work for a jerk | coaching your team | action plans | action steps

Ask yourself the following questions before you decide to leave:

  • How is your current job affecting your life outside of work?
  • Have you gone to your Doctor because of this inner stress?
  • How would leaving or not leaving affect your career?
  • Did you discuss your concern with HR or your supervisor?

This was a hard decision for clients who decided to leave a company due to a real jerk. If you are experiencing this now, feel free to reach out and we can have a laser-focused session. 

Send me an email for this discovery call.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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