Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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November 12, 2024 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

The Art of Starting Tough Conversations

The Art of Starting Tough Conversations

“There are no guarantees that your conversation will go well. It could backfire. At least you shared your thoughts and can figure out how to proceed.”
                              – Joyce Weiss, Communication Coach & Facilitator

Introduction to The Art of Starting Tough Conversations tough conversations

Welcome back to “Kick Conflict to the Curb™,” the blog where we tackle the most challenging tough conversations and turn them into opportunities for growth. 

Ever replay conversations in your head, thinking, “I shouldn’t have said those words?” This issue provides tools for turning these challenges into more meaningful connections.

Today, we feature Beth Granger, a certified “Exactly What To Say” guide. We discuss the everyday struggles people face in communication. 

Navigating Tough Conversations

Fear and discomfort are challenges we face when we start tough conversations.
One of the most straightforward tools is a strategy I call “Make Conversations Safe.” It is part of the Weiss Communication Success Plan.

Start by saying, “I don’t want to create stress between us. I do want to have an important conversation with you about productivity.”  This lets the other person know your expectations. 

There are no guarantees that your conversation will go well. It could backfire, especially if the person is a bully. At least you shared your thoughts and can figure out how to proceed.

Common Struggles in Tough Conversations

I asked Beth, “What do you think are the common themes where people struggle in communication?” 

Watch the short clip below to explore how Beth addresses the discomfort many feel when starting a conversation and what to do when discussions take a wrong turn. 

How does this blog post speak to you? What takeaway did you discover? Please comment in the section below, and let’s start an engaging conversation.

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Are you ready to stop the silence at meetings and engage others to speak openly? Please watch the video below to explore articles and videos at JoyceWeiss.com that you can use for your newsletter to stop the drama and enjoy going to work!

I work with leaders who want to create a culture where employees feel heard and not invisible – driving greater engagement, retention, and productivity.

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Here’s the link to the full newsletter, where you will see another outstanding short clip from Beth Granger’s interview.

Please subscribe Here and receive the latest LinkedIn newsletter issues to help you Kick Conflict to the Curb™.
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Until Next Time, 

Joyce Weiss, M.A. CSP, CVP
Communication Coach and Facilitator

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To a Healthy Conflict Day!

And Remember, “You Get What You Tolerate!

Will it be CHAOS or CALM?

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Filed Under: communication challenges, communication secrets, Communication Skills
Tagged With: Communication, effective communication

September 12, 2023 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Avoid Conversational Pitfalls!

  • Do you want to avoid conversational pitfalls?
  • Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you said, but how you said it?” 
  • Are you ready to stop putting your foot in your mouth?

If so, you are in the right place!
Florine Mark, Wellness Influencer and Author invited me to be a guest on her podcast, “Today’s Takeaway with Florine Mark.” 

We had an engaging, powerful, and fun conversation. This article contains some of the highlights of the podcast. You will find the link at the end of this article.

Sometimes having a conversation with another person can be a potentially explosive situation filled with dangerous mixed messages. Judging by the expression on the other person’s face, it’s obvious that he or she completely misinterpreted your message. 

Despite our best intentions, what we mean to say gets “lost in translation” traveling from our brain to our mouth. When we say, “Wow! You look wonderful for a woman your age!” instead of hearing the genuine compliment in our words, all she hears is “a woman your age.” It’s a stinging reminder of her age and that she looks good only in comparison to “older” women. Ouch! 

Being aware of the potential pitfalls in how we communicate could help us avoid these conflicts in the future. Are you ready to hear how to avoid conversational pitfalls and give you some tips on how to avoid them?

 What You’ll Hear in This Episode on Avoid Conversational Pitfalls:

  • Why do we often stick our foot in our mouth when we talk to others? 
  • What is an example of “the gap” in conversation, and how can it save us from embarrassing ourselves or hurting someone else’s feelings? 
  • What are curiosity questions? 
  • How can we help others feel more included at a social event or when introducing them to others? 
  • How can we learn to communicate with other individuals who don’t share our political or philosophical beliefs but still insist on debating or lecturing us?
  • What is a good way to communicate with people who have an illness but still want to have a great conversation with them? 
  • What is a conversation bully? 
  • How to get away when someone keeps monopolizing the conversation? 
  • How can we make conversations feel safe for others, where they feel less judged? 

The Following are my Quotes Used in the Avoid Conversational Pitfalls Podcast: avoid conversatinal pitfalls

  • “The gap is the space in between for us to think, hmm, how can I say this without putting my foot in the mouth? That gap is truly our friend. And many times we just don’t use it.”
  • “It’s more important for people to feel heard than what we say.” 
  • “People really need to pay attention to the fact that it’s more important for them to feel heard than for what we say.” 
  • “Listen and ask those curiosity questions. We have to stop thinking about what we want to say in the conversation.” 
  • “A safe conversation is when other people feel heard, and they feel comfortable speaking their voice.” — Joyce
  • “Stop taking everything so personally and telling yourself the wrong story.” 

 Florine Mark’s Ideas on Today’s Takeaway

“Certain people are gifted with the ability to speak with others in a way that draws people to them. These individuals can walk into a room, and soon, even complete strangers feel comfortable in their presence. People genuinely enjoy speaking with them and feel an immediate sense of connection. 

But not everyone has that skill. The good news is that with practice, we can all learn to become better communicators. We can take advantage of the fact that we were born with two ears and one mouth. Since our ears rarely get us into trouble and our mouth often does, sometimes the safest route is to listen more and speak less. By becoming better listeners, we become better communicators. 

Remember that every day is a gift and the gift we get from learning to hold our tongue and speak to others without alienating them is a gift that will draw others to us and make our relationships with others infinitely richer.”

 Here’s the Link to Today’s Takeaway with Florine Mark

https://888-3-florine.libsyn.com/avoiding-conversational-pitfalls

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with Department Managers and Leaders, Growth-Minded Individuals, and Small Groups tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input and contribution are recognized and respected. And their expertise is in constant demand. 

Here’s A TREAT FOR YOU

Are you ready for the next level of support from me? Send an email to Joyce@Joyceweiss.com and put “I’m ready” in the subject line. I will send you my online calendar to schedule a call.

What will you get from the call?

Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Create an action plan, so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT A SALES CALL! 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!

 

 

Filed Under: communication challenges, Communication Strategies
Tagged With: Communication, effective communication

November 1, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Listening Skills can be Humorous

 

listening skills

Listening skills can be humorous. Did I get your attention on Frank Tyger’s funny quote?  I hope so!

We know that listening skills are one of the most important communication strategies. It’s also difficult with all the distractions and busyness getting in our way.

Listening Skills Exercise

I recently used the coolest listening exercises in one of my group coaching sessions. Participants got the message immediately. 
Three people had to describe the cell phone to an audience at different times in our history. The years were the 1800s, the 1950’s, and 2022.  Which year do you think was the easiest to reach? If you said 2022, you are right. It wasn’t an easy exercise, and they all did an excellent job speaking the different audiences. 

Important Ideas to Remember About Our Listening Skills

  • We must prepare our messages knowing who our audience is, even if it’s only one person.
  • It doesn’t matter what we say, it’s what others hear.
  • We fall in love with our proposals or ideas. Good for us. The thing is, are we presenting the best message, so others hear us?

It’s your turn to share your thoughts. What are your best practices to make sure others hear your golden words?

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE

Discover the Impact of The Conflict Dynamic Profile for You or Your Direct Reports

Are you ready to explore how you react before, during, and after conflict?
Do you want to reduce your inner stress by discovering blind spots and what triggers set you off? 

Please email me, and let’s discuss how the Conflict Dynamic Profile can help you resolve your conflict and improve relationships.

Do you want to learn more about the profile? Here’s the link to relieve stress and prepare for difficult conversations.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Filed Under: Communication Strategist, listening skills
Tagged With: Communication, how to improve communication skills

January 19, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Got Personal Bias with Your Triggers?

Welcome to Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly!

  • Are there certain people who you get along with really well?
  • Do you know others who push your buttons?
  • Do you know if your personal bias is getting in the way?

You can take an exercise after you watch the video below that may be revealing about your own personal bias. Take out the popcorn and let’s connect after watching it!

https://vimeo.com/491012883

Here’s Your Personal Bias Excercise

Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle.

  • On the left side put the name of someone who you get along with really well.
  • On the right side write the name of someone who drives you crazy.
  • Write the characteristics of the names both on the right and left side of your paper.
  • Look at the left side.  Does this person remind you of you? I find that 99% of my clients who have done this exercise recognize that the description is their own characteristics.

Is Your Personal Bias Getting in Your Way? personal bias

I suggest that you do this exercise when you meet one of your triggers. I’m serious. This exercise will keep you on track on how you can keep your personal bias under control – especially with those who rub you the wrong way. This person will not be your best friend (I hope!). Knowing that your personal bias is in control may give you the energy to either ignore him or her or decide how you can carefully continue moving forward with the relationship – especially at work when you can’t select whose on your team.

Let’s Stay Connected!

Please share your thoughts about your own personal bias by commenting on the blog or sending me a private message at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.  This powerful exercise is easy and impactful.
I appreciate every one of my loyal readers! Please share any of the Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly posts to your friends/colleagues who could benefit from the coaching secrets or videos on resolving conflict.

Have a GREAT Week!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: personal bias, triggers
Tagged With: Communication, Conflict and Resolution Specialist

October 13, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

More Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication – Part 2

Are you ready to hear about more coaching strategies?
Do you wonder if your communication patterns get in the way of creating trust with others?
Would you like to see if you are a rescuer who could hinder progress in others?

Ouch! Hopefully, the questions above piqued your interest. 🙂 If so, you are in the right place. 🙂

Last week you read about the work of Michael Bungay Stanier on the TELL IT Communicators. I described the TELL IT Communicator from Michael’s class during the World of Executive and Business Coaching Summit.

Here’s a link to Part 1: Coaching Strategies to Improve Your communication – Big Time!
Michael Bungay Stanier shared that there are 3 types of communicators: Tell IT, Save IT, and Control IT

This article is about the SAVE IT Communicators.

https://www.joyceweiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Take-a-Chance-or-lose-risk.mp4

Coaching Strategies #1: SAVE IT Communication Challenges

  • Save IT Communicators are rescuers
  • They keep others from making mistakes
  • Listeners resent SAVE IT Communicators because they become codependent and don’t know how to stop the SAVE IT Communicator
  • They have all the answers

Coaching Strategies #2: SAVE IT Communication Benefits  

  • They are heroes because their purpose is to save everyone from imperfections
  • SAVE IT Communicators think they are helping others from making mistakes

Coaching Strategies #3: SAVE IT Communication Solutions

  • Stay curious and do your best to stop rescuing everyone from making mistakes
  • Realize that success consists of falling down and taking risks
  • Think before you open your mouth
  • Ask yourself if your words help or hinder the success of others
  • See how your new behavior encourages self-growth and autonomy

Joyce, What Do You Think About SAVE IT Communicators?

Full disclosure.  Drum rolls, please.  I am a SAVE IT Communicator. I discussed this awareness with a couple of coaching colleagues.  We discovered that all 3 of us are Save It Communicators. We also realized that it’s time for a change. I am NOT any of these communicators when I coach with clients or in my virtual courses.

My personal life is another story. I decided to make a change and took this awareness as a gift to myself. The last couple of weeks have been more relaxing for me and my family.  I have stopped saying, ” It’s going to be cold, so you better take your jacket.” No More Mrs. Nice Gal!” Let’s face it, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves. Our family consists of all adults. No more babies or teens to rescue for this MASTER Coach! My family has started taking their own jackets. They appreciate the fact that I’m changing – of course, I told them about this and we discussed their patterns also. Hey, it’s only fair, if I change they need to work on their growth also.

Self-awareness is a great first step towards progress.  The good news is once we discover our communication style, we can then make important changes.  Some of them are easy while others are not. I promise, there will be more information on these important coaching strategies to add to your toolbox.

Let’s Hear From You

Let’s hear how you feel about these coaching strategies. Do you see SAVE IT Communicators in your workplace or home? If so, please share your awareness and how this communication style stifles creativity, trust, and growth.

I suggest that you talk about the 3 communication styles after I describe the last one next week.  This can be a great exercise for your department or family. When you have open-minded people, this will work really well. If you have one negative person, wait until that person is not present, or else he or she can ruin the results with their sarcasm and negativity.

The comment section is working! Let’s hear from you.

You can always send me a private email with questions or concerns about the communication conflicts that you are experiencing.

Let’s Stay Connected

Do you want to go deeper and grow professionally to your next level? If so, I have several coaching packages and memberships to fit anyone’s schedule and budget.  I’d love to work with you.
Give me a call to see how coaching can help you or your direct reports to improve relationships, careers, and personal peace!

office: 800.713.1926
cell: 248.325.8101

Just think: No more

  • Drama
  • Silence
  • Not being heard
  • Unresolved tough conversations

Have a great week.

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Here’s the link to part 1 of the series Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Coaching Strategies, Communication Strategist, drama at work
Tagged With: Communication, effective communication

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Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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