Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Got Personal Bias with Your Triggers?

Welcome to Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly!

  • Are there certain people who you get along with really well?
  • Do you know others who push your buttons?
  • Do you know if your personal bias is getting in the way?

You can take an exercise after you watch the video below that may be revealing about your own personal bias. Take out the popcorn and let’s connect after watching it!

Here’s Your Personal Bias Excercise

Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle.

  • On the left side put the name of someone who you get along with really well.
  • On the right side write the name of someone who drives you crazy.
  • Write the characteristics of the names both on the right and left side of your paper.
  • Look at the left side.  Does this person remind you of you? I find that 99% of my clients who have done this exercise recognize that the description is their own characteristics.

Is Your Personal Bias Getting in Your Way? personal bias

I suggest that you do this exercise when you meet one of your triggers. I’m serious. This exercise will keep you on track on how you can keep your personal bias under control – especially with those who rub you the wrong way. This person will not be your best friend (I hope!). Knowing that your personal bias is in control may give you the energy to either ignore him or her or decide how you can carefully continue moving forward with the relationship – especially at work when you can’t select whose on your team.

Let’s Stay Connected!

Please share your thoughts about your own personal bias by commenting on the blog or sending me a private message at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.  This powerful exercise is easy and impactful.
I appreciate every one of my loyal readers! Please share any of the Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly posts to your friends/colleagues who could benefit from the coaching secrets or videos on resolving conflict.

Have a GREAT Week!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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More Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication – Part 2

Are you ready to hear about more coaching strategies?
Do you wonder if your communication patterns get in the way of creating trust with others?
Would you like to see if you are a rescuer who could hinder progress in others?

Ouch! Hopefully, the questions above piqued your interest. 🙂 If so, you are in the right place. 🙂

Last week you read about the work of Michael Bungay Stanier on the TELL IT Communicators. I described the TELL IT Communicator from Michael’s class during the World of Executive and Business Coaching Summit.

Here’s a link to Part 1: Coaching Strategies to Improve Your communication – Big Time!
Michael Bungay Stanier shared that there are 3 types of communicators: Tell IT, Save IT, and Control IT

This article is about the SAVE IT Communicators.

Coaching Strategies #1: SAVE IT Communication Challenges

  • Save IT Communicators are rescuers
  • They keep others from making mistakes
  • Listeners resent SAVE IT Communicators because they become codependent and don’t know how to stop the SAVE IT Communicator
  • They have all the answers

Coaching Strategies #2: SAVE IT Communication Benefits  

  • They are heroes because their purpose is to save everyone from imperfections
  • SAVE IT Communicators think they are helping others from making mistakes

Coaching Strategies #3: SAVE IT Communication Solutions

  • Stay curious and do your best to stop rescuing everyone from making mistakes
  • Realize that success consists of falling down and taking risks
  • Think before you open your mouth
  • Ask yourself if your words help or hinder the success of others
  • See how your new behavior encourages self-growth and autonomy

Joyce, What Do You Think About SAVE IT Communicators?

Full disclosure.  Drum rolls, please.  I am a SAVE IT Communicator. I discussed this awareness with a couple of coaching colleagues.  We discovered that all 3 of us are Save It Communicators. We also realized that it’s time for a change. I am NOT any of these communicators when I coach with clients or in my virtual courses.

My personal life is another story. I decided to make a change and took this awareness as a gift to myself. The last couple of weeks have been more relaxing for me and my family.  I have stopped saying, ” It’s going to be cold, so you better take your jacket.” No More Mrs. Nice Gal!” Let’s face it, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves. Our family consists of all adults. No more babies or teens to rescue for this MASTER Coach! My family has started taking their own jackets. They appreciate the fact that I’m changing – of course, I told them about this and we discussed their patterns also. Hey, it’s only fair, if I change they need to work on their growth also.

Self-awareness is a great first step towards progress.  The good news is once we discover our communication style, we can then make important changes.  Some of them are easy while others are not. I promise, there will be more information on these important coaching strategies to add to your toolbox.

Let’s Hear From You

Let’s hear how you feel about these coaching strategies. Do you see SAVE IT Communicators in your workplace or home? If so, please share your awareness and how this communication style stifles creativity, trust, and growth.

I suggest that you talk about the 3 communication styles after I describe the last one next week.  This can be a great exercise for your department or family. When you have open-minded people, this will work really well. If you have one negative person, wait until that person is not present, or else he or she can ruin the results with their sarcasm and negativity.

The comment section is working! Let’s hear from you.

You can always send me a private email with questions or concerns about the communication conflicts that you are experiencing.

Let’s Stay Connected

Do you want to go deeper and grow professionally to your next level? If so, I have several coaching packages and memberships to fit anyone’s schedule and budget.  I’d love to work with you.
Give me a call to see how coaching can help you or your direct reports to improve relationships, careers, and personal peace!

office: 800.713.1926
cell: 248.325.8101

Just think: No more

  • Drama
  • Silence
  • Not being heard
  • Unresolved tough conversations

Have a great week.

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Here’s the link to part 1 of the series Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication

 

 

 

 

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Negative People are Part of Our Reality!

It’s true that negative people are part of our reality.
Here’s a powerful question for you – How many times do you remind yourself that you don’t need to be with people who bring you down?
We all know this, yet many of us don’t know that we can set boundaries and actually change this reality.

Yearly I do a serious job of spring cleaning for clothes, the house, and relationships that are toxic.  You heard me right.  We all have those people who constantly complain yet never change anything in their life.  Life is too short to be around negative people who rain on our or their parade.

Start thinking about how you can and need to spend more time with those who make you laugh, smile, think, learn, etc.  We all have our own definition of toxic people.  Remember this the next time you speak to a friend who complains about everything.  I’m not saying to end the relationship all the time.  Implement a plan to be with those who support you and bring joy to your life.

Please let me know how this motivational poster on negative people speaks to you in the comment section.

negative people

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with negative people on your team.  What stories or expressions help you?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their public speaking skills.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new public speaking skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

 

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Career Advancement is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!
Find your voice with Joyce!

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A Great Quote on Communication from Bernard Shaw

Joyce Weiss | Favorite Quote#BernardShaw
#FavoriteMotivationalQuote
#quoteoncommunication

Thoughts from Joyce

Do you agree with George Bernard Shaw?  People think that they are great multitaskers.  They don’t see how many communication mistakes take place when they are not concentrating on the person right in front of them.  I’m guilty of this also and do what I can to put down the phone when someone is in front of me.  The next time someone accuses you of not listening, agree with them and lift your eyes up.  It’s not rocket science and we all need to improve in this area. It’s ALL generations!   😉

I want to Hear From You

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with communication distractions.  What stories or expressions help you?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development.
There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule! 🙂

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Corporate Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Career Advancement is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!  

PPS  Take your FREE Communication Assessment HERE and I will send you an email with suggestions to see how your communication skills are impacting your success at work.

 

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A Powerful Communication Tool to Use with Supervisors

Do these questions resonate with you?

  • Has your supervisor discounted you in front of your team?
  • Are you tired of gossip and negativity?

If so, this article will give you a communication tool to start using immediately with your supervisor and team.  You will learn 2 strategies that I teach during professional coaching sessions and resolving conflict trainings.  It will be a great review for those of you who are familiar with these communication tools.

Communication Tool #1:
Expressing your concern to a supervisorcommunication tool

This case scenario is one that happens way too often.  Your supervisor discounts you in front of your direct reports.  Here’s a communication tool to use to voice your concern.

Make the conversation safe by using:  I don’t want – I do want.
I don’t want to be disrespectful.
I do want to communicate my concern about questioning my decisions in front of my team.

Next use the power talk formula:  I am – when – because
I am discouraged when my decisions are discounted in front of my team because it discredits my leadership.

Communication Tool #2:  Stop team negativity communication tool

This communication tool is perfect to use when you are sick of team gossip or negativity.  You can use this in front of your entire team or with an individual.

I don’t want to hear constant gossip and negativity.
I do want people to communicate directly to each other when there is an issue and NOT gossip with others.

I am concerned when I hear team gossip and negativity because the atmosphere at work is toxic.

Joyce’s Thoughts

There are no guarantees that you will get the results that you want after using these communication tools. These strategies are a great way to start the conversations. You will respect yourself for expressing yourself.  Hopefully your supervisor and team will respect you for being open in a respectful way.

Remember these two leadership ideas:

  • Leaders need to empower their team members to resolve communication issues on their own.
  • The team can meet with the leader only when the team attempts to resolve the issues on their own.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you successfully share your concerns with your supervisor. What stories or expressions help you get through these conversations? You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Read my more articles about communication tools HERE.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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