Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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September 14, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Stop Your Inner Stress with a Rude Jerk: Part 4

This series: Working with a Rude Jerk is getting some attention! 

I’m receiving emails with questions on how to handle these rude people. This article describes another true story from one of my clients.

The next article contains specific strategies on what you can do. Especially, when the rude jerk tries to pull you down. And your inner stress is affected.

You’ll find the links below if you missed the first 3 articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

True Story # 4 on Working with a Rude Jerk

Todd is a sales rep for a mid-sized firm. He received a promotion for selling the most products in the company for the first quarter. The leaders wrote Todd’s name on a huge recognition board in the lunchroom. 

Can you guess what happened next? You are correct if you guessed that someone erased Todd’s name from the board. 

The horrific part is that no one at Todd’s firm addressed this mean-spirited act.

What Would You Do if You Were Todd’s Boss?

Here are several ideas shared by clients:

The leaders need to call an all-employee meeting to address this rude act. The message:  supporting each other on the team. Be very specific on the consequences when the team tries to sabotage other’s success. Discuss how to improve morale and what the team needs. 

Some leaders don’t have the communication skills on how to stop the negativity. And how to handle a rude jerk in their workplace. Morale spirals down when a negative culture is allowed. Many of you may have left a company when leaders allow this kind of behavior. It takes a toll on the team when a rude jerk is allowed to get away with sabotaging others. I hear stories like this way too often.

Joyce, What Can We Do Working With a Rude Jerk?

I will have an entire answer in next week’s blog.  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  1. Speak to HR about what suggestions they have for you.  Make sure that you bring enough data.  This is not a communication of whining and complaining. It needs to be specific details and think of possible suggestions before you take this issue to leadership.
  2. Talk to the Jerk on your own if you have a decent relationship with him or her. Ask questions to help you understand why he or she was rude.

    The great news is that my new and updated website and youtube channel will be ready soon. There will be articles and videos addressing these issues. And, you will find out how easy it is to work with me as your personal conflict resolution and communication coach. 

You’ll find the links below if you missed the first 3 articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

 

Filed Under: Improving Communication, Jerks
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, team building

June 9, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

What is your Favorite Quote That Gets You Through the Day?

Do you have a favorite quote that represents how you think about life?
Would you like to put the words on a tee-shirt?  Don’t worry, I’m not selling clothes! 😉

This blog post consists of a video that describes my favorite quote by Martin Luther King Jr.  After you watch the video, please share your favorite quote that gets you through the day.

Joyce’s Favorite Quote by Martin Luther King Jr. favorite quote | Martin Luther King Jr.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Anyone who knows me realizes why I use this quote in my online communication course:  Kick Conflict to the Curb:  Get the Respect YOU Deserve!

I support clients who don’t know how to use their voices as much as they need to in order to get taken seriously or even heard.
Clients relate the moment I share Martin Luther King Jr’s words of wisdom.  We practice strategies to make them feel more confident.
I love this part of my job when people see the light after only a few sessions.

What’s Your Favorite Quote?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me on my cell: 248.310.6998 or office: 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable giving tough conversations to employees who will not be returning to work after the pandemic.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new communication skills immediately to reduce their tension.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Until Next Week,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

Filed Under: favorite quote, Improving Communication
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, improving communication skills

August 7, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

One of my Favorite Communication Strategies to Help You Keep Your Cool

One of my favorite communication strategies is one that I use when others try to make me defensive.  I’m paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Those of you who have read my blogs know that no one can make you feel defensive without your consent.  We are in control of how we react.  No one is in control of that.

You may be thinking, “Joyce, how can I be in control when others push me?”  It isn’t easy.  Most of us push back when someone judges us.  We are all guilty of losing our cool at times.  My secret sauce is verbal aikido.

Communication Strategies #1:  The definition of verbal aikido

communication strategies

In aikido, the person who pulls back from an attack is the stronger one.  Stop defending yourself when someone yells at you that you are late. Instead of defending yourself by saying, “The traffic was bad,” start using verbal aikido.  Say, “You are right, I’m late.  I know how punctual you are and I will leave 15 minutes earlier the next time we meet.”

Communication Strategies #2: Focus on what can be done

It’s more important to concentrate on solutions rather than blaming what went wrong.  The next time a meeting communication strategiesbecomes a screaming match with a lot of blaming and accusations, use verbal aikido.  Pull back by saying, “Instead of the blame game, let’s figure out how we dropped the ball and resolve this issue with our client.”  Fixing what went wrong needs to be discussed at another time. We all want our issues to be resolved and we don’t care about excuses or blaming others.  Verbal aikido is a tool that cuts through the noise and focuses on the present.

Communication Strategies #3:
How Robert Kennedy used verbal aikido

Robert Kennedy knew that he was going to be pushed by the press after President Kennedy appointed him as his attorney general of the United States.  Senator Kennedy was prepared when he met the press the day after the appointment was made.  A journalist said, “Senator Kennedy, what gives you the right to become attorney general of the United States?”  Senator Kennedy took a breath and said, “That’s a great question.  You have to attend a good school, know a lot of people, and have a brother who is the president of the United States.”  The press melted and started to laugh at this brilliant statement.

Verbal aikido allowed Senator Kennedy to pull back and he caught the press off guard.

Let’s Get Real

There are times when I forget all of the skills that I write about.  Let’s face it, we are all human!  The important thing about forgetting to use these skills is that you are reminded of them immediately after a communication doesn’t go as well as you wanted it to!

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you think verbal aikido will help you keep your cool.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  My passion and talents are to help individuals and small groups reduce stress, advance their career,  and improve their quality of life and work. Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address executive coaching strategies here.

 

 

Filed Under: Communication Strategies, Improving Communication
Tagged With: effective communication, verbal aikido

April 10, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Joyce Recommends a Best-Selling Book about Amazon’s Communication Strategies

Do you use Amazon to purchase items, listen to music or watch a video?
Do you wonder how Jeff Bezos started Amazon.com?
Are you curious why some people stay, and others leave Amazon’s antagonistic company?

If you want answers to these questions, I recommend reading The Everything Store:  Jeff Bezos and The Age of Amazon by Brad Stone.

Bezos named his company Amazon.com in 1994.  The Amazon is not only the largest river in the world, it’s many times larger than the next biggest river.  Bezos said, “It blows all other rivers away.”  This gives you an idea of how the company was destined to be bigger than life.

You will get an inside look at Amazon in my future articles.  I find the story of Jeff Bezos fascinating and could not put the book down.  Some of his ideas are contrarian on how I feel about teams and communication strategies; while I applaud his tenacity.  I am interested in how you react to Amazon’s communication strategies.  Please send me your opinions after you read his book or my articles.

The communication strategies below will get you started.  Strap your seat belts on and decide if you could work in the unique environment.

Communication Strategies:  4 Principles at Amazon

  • Step by step ferociously
  • Impossible goals will win the day
  • Setbacks are temporary
  • Naysayers are best ignored

I agree with these principles.  Decide if you or your company can add any of these ideas to the success of the company.

Communication Strategies:  Communication is a Sign of Dysfunction

Communication StrategiesOuch.  Bezos believes that his employees should try to figure out a way for teams to communicate less with each other, not more.  Coordination among employees wastes time and the people closest to problems are usually in the best position to solve them.

I don’t agree that teams need to communicate less – yet meetings need to be more productive.  Include the right people at your meetings.  I know that employees who work directly with customers need to be part of the decision-making process.  They hear both complaints and positive feedback daily.  The answer to resolving conflict is about productive communication strategies that dig deep and solve problems in a direct and respectful way.

Communication Strategies:  Ideas from Jeff Bezos

  • Risk taking is cool
  • Defeating bigger, unsympathetic guys is cool
  • Inventing is cool
  • Explorers are cool
  • Conquerors are not cool
  • Obsessing over competitors is not cool
  • Empowering others is cool
  • Conviction is cool
  • Straightforwardness is cool
  • Thinking big is cool
  • The unexpected is cool

Which ideas from Amazon’s list do you need to discuss at your next brainstorming session?
My favorite one is straightforwardness.  No surprises for those of you who know of my work. 😊

Communication Strategies:  Amazon’s Culture is Confrontational

Communication StrategiesThis begins with Bezos, who believes that truth appears when ideas are banged against each other.  Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable.

The people who do well at Amazon are often those who thrive in an adversarial atmosphere.  Managers are required to grade their employees and must dismiss the least effective performers.  Many Amazon employees live in perpetual fear.

Despite the stress, former Amazon employees often consider their time at the company the most productive of their careers.  Their colleagues were smart, the work was challenging, and Amazon offered constant opportunities for learning – while others expressed anguish about their experience.  Bezos says, “the company attracts a certain kind of person who likes to pioneer and invent.”

Joyce’s Thoughts About Amazon

I am an avid fan and purchase most of my business and professional items because the price is right, returning items is a breeze, and 2-day delivery can’t be beaten – did I mention that it saves time by not going to stores?

I’m drawn to stories about brilliant people like Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos.  Their communication skills may not be the best but their dreams and tenacity to move forward no matter what, speak to me.

Bezos told his parents that there was a 70% chance they could lose all their initial investment in their son’s company.  “I want you to know what the risks are because I still want to come home for Thanksgiving if this doesn’t work.”

Readers, is this straightforward enough for you?  It is for me!

I want to Hear From You

Add a comment to my blog on Amazon’s philosophy.  Have you ever worked in a contrarian work environment?  If so, please tell us how it worked for you and others.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Check out another of my book recommendations:  The Power of Why

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.
Until next time, remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Communication Strategies, Conflict in the Workplace, Improving Communication
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, improving communication skills

March 6, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Powerful Quote on Confronting Problems

Joyce Weiss | Communication Strategist | Career Coach | Favorite Quote

#favoritequote
#WilliamHalsey’sQuote

I live by the sentiments of this quote.  Life is actually easier when we get things off our chest.  I also know that many people find it hard to have those tough conversations at home or work.  Share if you agree.

Joyce Weiss | Communication Strategist | Career Coach | assessment

I’m here for my loyal readers to share easy strategies for resolving conflicts in their life.  Find out how your communication skills impact your work by taking the FREE Communication Skills Assessment.

You will receive immediate feedback from me.  You can send the link to as many people as you want.

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: favorite quote, Improving Communication
Tagged With: effective communication, favorite quote

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Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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