Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Keep Toxic People from Ruining Your Holidays | Part 2

This article is part 2 in the series on Keeping Toxic People from Ruining Your Holidays.

You’ll find a link to part 1 towards the end of this article which explores tips 1 and 2.

Tip 3 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays

Knowing what kind of behavior makes these toxic people so irritating is an important step.

  • Do they usually arrive late?
  • Are they oblivious to how their hurtful behavior affects others?
  • They constantly judge or hurt others. And, you are emotionally drained with this insensitive behavior. 
  • Being the center of attention is their #1 motivation.  Additionally, they constantly interrupt others.

Tip 4 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays

toxic family members

Don’t sugarcoat how obnoxious their behavior is and how it impacts the gathering. 

Speak with a trusted family member or friend to discuss how to stop letting these toxic people get away with their rudeness.

Set boundaries as to what you will and will not tolerate.

Set time limits: if dinner starts at 6 P.M., start exactly at that time and let everyone know if they are late, dinner starts without them. 

Tip 5 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays

Do expect to have a great get-together. And, if someone is detracting from that, resolve that this person will be “educated” on these boundaries. 

Always remember that you have absolutely no social or familial obligation to be victimized—ever.

Here’s the link to part 1 in the series.

Joyce, How Can You Help Us Deal with These Difficult People?

I’m glad you asked!

A client of mine had the following conversation with a relative a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving.

“Tim, we’ve had the same conversation for years on how politics are off the table during our family parties. Our family is sensitive to the fact that we have several varying opinions about politics. We agreed NOT to bring up these topics because they lead to much discomfort. 

I’m frustrated when you and I have had this same conversation because the same negativity occurs every year. I love getting the gang together. It’s a yearly highlight.

Next year you will not be invited because it’s more important than ever before to enjoy each other’s company and feel safe around each other without judgment.”

You may wonder what happened after this tough conversation. The toxic relative found another group to join. This was extremely hard for my client. Yet, the great news is that she felt empowered because she was direct, respectful, and honest. 

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

So what about you? Do feel that my coaching advice was too tough?
Can you see changing it around to fit your communication style? Or, will you continue letting these rude individuals take over?

The choice is yours. You know I was going to end with that comment. 😉

Let’s brainstorm any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.
Here’s my calendar. Let’s reduce your inner stress!

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.
 Visit our coaching page to see your options. 

 

 

 

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Keep Toxic Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays

toxic family members

I hope this poster caught your attention! Was it the words – toxic family members?

This is the time of year for self-care. We need to protect ourselves from those toxic people in our life. 

  • Are you tired of getting a lousy night’s sleep because of toxic relatives or friends?
  • Do you want to reduce that inner stress?

Coaching clients are asking me to help them prepare for family gatherings. Especially those with those difficult family members or friends.
I have first-hand experience in this area. The good news is that my inner stress has improved by using the tips in this article.

Look for part 2 next week. I have so many examples to share either from my life or my clients’ experience.

Tip 1 for Keeping Toxic Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays

Get everyone to agree on what topics are off the table.

You know your family. Do you have those who share their political opinions knowing that this will stir things up?
If so,  express your concern and say something like, “Let’s stay away from politics to make sure our holiday meal is enjoyable for everyone.”

Someone has to stop your holiday from being ruined by that bully or rude guest. I vote that it’s you – even though there’s always a risk when we open our mouths. 

Tip 2 for Keeping Toxic Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays

What to do if you are a guest at someone’s house and you don’t feel comfortable with excessive drinking or toxic conversations. 
Why stay if you are so uncomfortable. Self-care is knowing how to leave the table when respect is no longer being served.

I’ve left a few gatherings in my life when either the conversation or drinking is bothersome. I’m not a prude! This is about taking care of yourself.
We don’t need to be around toxic people who don’t stop their difficult behavior.

Let’s Stay Connected

  • Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
  • How have you handled your toxic family members?
  • You can share in the comment section or send me a private email.
  • Let’s brainstorm any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.
  • Here’s my calendar. Let’s reduce your inner stress!

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach their employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

 

 

 

 

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President Lincoln and Charlie Brown’s Inspirational Words

It’s time to take a break from my messages about stopping rude people in their tracks! I promise to write more articles next week on this subject.

Today is a day to celebrate YOU. Let’s start with the inspirational words from President Lincoln:

 

inspirational words

Are you ready to discover why I’m writing this message?

  • Do you need a little more motivation these days?
  • Are you tired of all the negative news on TV? {so what else is new?}
  • Does sitting under a tree and reading a book for the next 12 months sound appealing?  🙂

Believe me when I say that the last bullet point is something that I contemplate at times.  That’s why I decided to celebrate my loyal readers who bring me hope, laughter, and inspirational words at times – especially during a coaching session.

Inspirational words from Charlie Brown and Snoopy

Last night I read a magazine and saw this quote which I knew I had to share with you:

Charlie Brown: “We only live once, Snoopy.”
Snoopy: “Wrong! We only die once. We live every day!”

Who knew that President Lincoln, Charlie Brown, and Snoopy would have so much in common?

Joyce, tell us what these inspirational words mean for you

Both of these quotes are small gifts that I want to give to all of you.  They mean so to me. I hear people share how much anxiety they experience due toinspirational words this pandemic. The people who are doing better are the ones who took some reflective time to look within and make changes in their life. They thought about their mental outlook, career, and relationships. 

The ones who are having tougher times are the ones who can’t seem to move beyond their fear and lack of hope and motivation. I see this in my coaching practice. And do my best to ask important questions to clients. As a result, they look within and discover options besides constant fear.  It isn’t easy. It’s so possible! I see this daily.

Here’s a coaching tip: Ask your friends or relatives who are stuck in constant fear and anxiety to remember a time when they felt free, happy, and less stressed. Stay with them when they describe these times. We can all change our future by looking within and discovering new options. 

Working on our posture is something we have to do constantly (I know this first hand!). It’s the same for our mental attitude. We need to remind ourselves daily and feed our brains with inspirational words. 

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Click HERE for more personal growth strategies for you or anyone you know who could use some inspiration.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

 

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A Timely Quote about Doubt by William Shakespeare

The timely quote about doubt by William Shakespeare holds true today.

  • Do you doubt yourself?
  • Does this happen often?
  • How do you stop doubt from stressing you out?

Let’s go deeper! 

timely quote

 

Timely Quote Tip #1: Do You Doubt Yourself?

I can see many of you shaking your head up and down. Of course, we all doubt ourselves at times. In fact, this can be good or bad.  First, it’s bad if doubt stops us from moving forward.  On the other hand, it’s good if doubt forces us to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Motivational Speaker, Tony Robbins came to Detroit, over 30 years ago. I was starting out at the beginning of my career. Tony talked about doubt for an entire day. 

The next day he spoke about strategies for putting our fear into power. Imagine if you were me, eyes wide open. And willing to take any risk to get me unstuck. Was I really ready to become a  corporate speaker?   

Look for a link at the end of this article for a story that describes my experience with Tony Robbins even more. 🙂

Timely Quote Tip #2:  How Often do You Feel Doubt?

Back to Tony Robbins training.  The next day, he asked over 1000 participants to think about how often doubt stopped us. Especially,  from achieving our goals.
As a matter of fact, I raised my hand immediately. And told Tony that doubt isn’t a big issue for me. Additionally, I said, that when doubt appears in my life, I question the validity. Is this really fear or:

F: False
E: Evidence
A: Appearing
R: Real

Tony said some great affirmations and it seemed like he spoke only to me. 🙂 

Timely Quote Tip #3:  How Do You Stop Doubt from Stressing You Out?

Tony’s real message came on the last day of the training. In fact, he invited all of us who were ready to risk, to walk on hot coals. And overcome our fears. As a matter of fact, Career Coach | timely quoteI was not one of the first ones to get up and say, “I’m ready, Tony!” 

I thought I was ready. Until he looked at my eyes. He said, “not yet, you need to work a bit more on your self-doubt.” I watched others walk across the hot coals.  And saw the glee in their eyes when they were done.  I wanted that too!

So, dear readers, did I walk or not? The final answer is…YES!

It took another 30 minutes to remind myself that I trusted Tony. The biggest issue with doubt is to start trusting ourselves more.  

I use this analogy in my coaching practice. Clients who doubt themselves need to know that they are not alone. I share how I overcame certain fears in my life. This gives them hope that their coach is a human being also with fears, doubts, and conflict. 🙂

The good news is that this ‘coal walking experience” still influences me today. 

I hope it will give you that little push the next time doubt stops you from trying something new.  Ask yourself if it’s a real fear or “false evidence appearing true!”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post.

  • How does Shakespeare’s timely quote resonate with you?
  • When has doubt stopped you?
  • What do you do to stop doubt from stressing you out?
  • Have you read any of Tony Robbin’s books?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Read more about my personal story about Tony Robbin’s Fire Walk Experience HERE

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers so that they feel heard and respected.
This means they are confident to use their voice – without losing their cool.

P.P.S. Do you know young adults in high school or college who need to discuss their doubts, career choices, and timely issues.  A couple of my clients asked me to coach their young adults. The results were gratifying. And it only takes a few sessions.

 

 

 

 

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Joyce Weiss’s High Drama on the Bike Trail

Are you ready for a story about high drama on the bike trail?

Imagine that you actually take some time for yourself.  A bike ride sounds like a great idea.  You’re ready to feel free with the wind in your hair.  It’s time to reflect on your day.  Or you just want to have a powerful workout.

That was my intention. And I looked forward to some alone time. I pumped up the tires. Additionally, the water bottle was filled.  And put on my helmet and sunscreen. The day was mine.  I was ready to enjoy a beautiful Michigan summer day.  

Until… the high drama happened on the bike trail.  Four bike riders were heading towards me.  They took up the entire bike path.  I couldn’t go around them. This occurs all the time on bike trails.  Usually, when a group of bike riders sees someone coming towards them, they go in a single file.

Not these bike riders! They didn’t let me pass.  They started laughing at me saying, “What are you going to do little lady?”  Yes, they bullied this conflict resolution coach.

high drama

You’ll hear what I did soon.  I promise!

I’ve told this high drama story at least 10 times. In fact, I asked friends and relatives what they would do. The answers were diverse.

What Would You do if You were in my Shoes? And Experienced This High Drama?

  • Get off your bike?
  • Go into the trees and let them pass?high drama
  • Say something in a humorous way?
  • Start yelling about their rudeness?

Please respond and let us know in the comment section. 
I’ll send a copy of my book, Take the Ride of Your Life! to the first two people who comment.  

Joyce, Tell us Already.  What Did You do During this High Drama on the Bike Trail?

I reacted without thinking.  This is something that is a natural reaction during stress.  

The following words fell out of my mouth:  “You’ve got to be kidding me! You want me to get off my bike instead of the four of you riding in a single file?” These words fueled the fire. They continued laughing and started saying sarcastic comments about my attitude.

Lessons Learned From This High Drama on the Bike Trail

It took me a long time to calm down.  My heart was pumping very fast.  I felt angry and scared.  Bike riders are usually very courteous.  I was totally caught off guard this time. 

Life is about learning from mistakes.  This lesson is an easy one to recognize.  It’s NOT easy to execute. As I reflect on this high drama, silence would have been the best response.  They were jerks.  What good did it do for me to speak to them? Nothing!

Silence is a powerful tool.  It helps us stay in control. And not say something we wished we didn’t say.  It’s an act of strength.  I’m not talking about not feeling heard. This is another issue that I address in everything that I do.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. What parts resonate with you?  How would you have responded to this high drama?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Remember, the first 2 people who comment on this blog post will receive a copy of Take the Ride of Your Life!

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media.  As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers so that they feel heard and respected.
This means they are confident to use their voice – without losing their cool.

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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