- Do you want to stop your inner stress if you work with a real jerk?
- Are you stuck with a nonteam player who is constantly putting others {even you} down?
- It took me a while to figure out how to do this myself.
This article is about 3 easy strategies that I experimented with when dealing with my real jerk. They are tested and yes, they do work. 🙂
As you know, your rude coworker drains a lot of time and energy from anyone who works with this real jerk.
An interesting study about real jerks
Christine Porath, the author of Mastering Civility, surveyed 800 people across 17 industries. Porath concluded that when employees don’t feel respected, their productivity suffers.
Here are some shocking statistics from Porath’s research:
- 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers when they work with a real jerk. {Ouch!}
- 12% said they left their job because of this rudeness.
My question to you and your leaders is how much is this costing your organization from not stopping these real jerks? I hope you’re listening! 😉
This is the final article in the 5 part series: “Working with a Jerk.”
The previous articles covered real jerks who:
- Purposely stepped on a co-worker’s foot
- Sarcastically ridiculed a colleagues’ clothes
- Erased a co-worker’s name from the company recognition board because he was jealous of the co-worker’s success
I have not made up any of these stories. You will find more in future articles. Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:
Stop the Rudeness in Your Life
Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks
Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks
Here we go with 3 ideas you can use to reduce your inner stress if you work for a real jerk
Practice THE GAP Technique: Strategy #1 to reduce inner stress working with a real jerk
THE GAP is your Safe Place to decide what you will say or not say before opening up your mouth. This is one of the strategies in the WEISS COMMUNICATION SUCCESS PLAN. 
- Decide how you will handle this situation.
- Are you going to speak directly to your real jerk?
- Do you want to discuss this with HR before you move forward?
- Is it better to avoid this person?
Talk with your rude colleague: Strategy #2 to reduce your drama with your real jerk
This is a great idea if you have a solid relationship with this co-worker.
- Focus on the issue – not the person.
- Discuss how this negative behavior is harming your relationship.
- Listen to what your colleague says and do your best NOT to push back.
- Get into his or her shoes and gain perspective on what you are hearing.
You may discover that this rudeness has nothing to do with work. And, when you have a positive conversation, things may work out better for you.
There’s always a risk that things may backfire. For those of you who know me, go on and say out loud what I will write; “It’s worth the risk!” At least you started the conversation. And, you expressed how you are being impacted.
Decide the pros and cons to leaving this toxic environment: Strategy #3 to gain control with your real jerk
The biggest issue is when leaders have a blind eye to these real jerks. They are doing so much harm when they don’t address these rude people. 
Ask yourself the following questions before you decide to leave:
- How is your current job affecting your life outside of work?
- Have you gone to your Doctor because of this inner stress?
- How would leaving or not leaving affect your career?
- Did you discuss your concern with HR or your supervisor?
This was a hard decision for clients who decided to leave a company due to a real jerk. If you are experiencing this now, feel free to reach out and we can have a laser-focused session.
Send me an email for this discovery call.
Let’s Stay Connected
Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.
Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:
Stop the Rudeness in Your Life
Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks
Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks
Until Next Time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution
P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below.
P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.
P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach? It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.
counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker to create balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.
resolve communication challenges with difficult people or bullies in the workplace. If you want to explore options working with me as your private coach or anyone who you feel could benefit from a few sessions –