I’m creating a new workshop on 2 difficult people who are creating a lot of stress for my clients. Think for a moment who these may be. If you guessed Bullies and Narcissists you’re correct. The next few blogs will contain new information about these 2 personality disorders with “possible” strategies on how to deal with them. I said possible because at times there are NO solutions if the bully or narcissist is high on the personality disorder charts.
I started thinking about my own life and if I was ever a target. I was surprised when I realized that I was a target not too long ago. I didn’t even realize this until I started doing research for my clients. Stay tuned because I will share my story to start you thinking IF you have also been a target.
Facts About Bullies
Bullies don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s health…or your business’s fiscal health.
- Bullying is experienced by more than 1/3 of the US workforce
- Bullying is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment
The majority (68%) of bullying is same gender harassment
What is it? Bullying is VIOLENCE
- Verbal abuse, intimidation, humiliation
- Sabotage over a significant amount of time
- Could be bosses, coworkers, friends, relatives, or clients
- Mistreatment is severe enough to compromise a worker’s health
- Interpersonal destruction
It’s All about the Bully’s personal agenda
Kinds of Bullies
- The screaming or verbal bully: screams or throws things:
words hurt & they humiliate the target - The constant critic: Bullies say how incompetent the target is which can cause career destruction
- The 2 headed snake: destroys by spreading rumors with work teams
- The gatekeeper: controls by withholding resources necessary for targets to succeed
- The sadistic or narcissistic bully: lacks empathy towards others
- The physical bully: action oriented
- The serial bully: bully seems charming while the target is looked upon as a whiny victim
- Gang bullies: enjoy being part of the gang
AM I Being Bullied?
- You are miserable
- Your work is sabotaged
- You’re caught off guard and think about the ramifications later on
- Lack of scars make others think you (the target) is exaggerating
Why me? - The best and brightest are targeted
- You pose a threat somehow to someone who is not developed as a moral human being
Who Gets targeted? - Unlike schoolyard bullying, you were not targeted because you were a “loner” without friends to stand up to the bullying gang
- You’re not a weakling
- You were targeted because you posed a threat to him or her
- This is in the mind of the bully
- Targets are more technically skilled than the bully
- Targets are better liked and have better social skills
- Targets have a sense of integrity
Stay tuned for the next blog which will explore why employers make Bullying worse and what the best and brightest companies are doing to put a stop to this epidemic.
I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me when you were targeted by a bully. Did you resolve the situation or not?
Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries with bullies and to be more effective at work and in your life. Sound good?
Here’s the LINK
Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?
Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.
Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist
I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!
Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.
Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!
See YOU Next Week.
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Have you agreed to do something that was not in your comfort zone and the project just didn’t turn out as well as you hoped? This post is about a workshop that I was asked to do for one of my loyal clients. The meeting planner, Julie, was in a bind because a trainer who she used for a “Hiring and Firing” class was not available. She asked me if I was willing to do research and teach the class for a couple of her conferences. I told her that I was NOT a lawyer or human resource specialist. She realized this yet knew that my expertise was in conflict and conflict. I agreed to do this because of the confidence from my client.