Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Think Like Buddha: 1 Easy Lesson to Use Now

Buddah's Quote

Buddha’s quote is one of my favorites when working with growth-minded people.

We all have a  choice on what thoughts we put into our minds.  

At times they are positive and nothing will stop us from reaching our goals.
Then there are those negative thoughts that seep into our minds about anger, negativity, insecurity, or doubt.

Buddha’s quote is perfect for anyone who needs a friendly reminder – we can stop ourselves from feeding ourselves such toxic thoughts.

A couple of years ago I knew that one of my TRIGGERS (let’s call her MS. TRIGGER) was attending the same social event.  My past behavior was to prepare myself so that her sarcastic and toxic tone wouldn’t affect me. This time I did an experiment and decided no matter what this person said to either me or the other guests, I wouldn’t open my mouth.  
I don’t always have to take on the conflict.  

Buddha’s quote was my friendly reminder. I would do my best to control myself when MS. TRIGGER opened her mouth.

Sure enough, MS. TRIGGER didn’t stop talking all night.  There was a “one-versation.” 
Normally I would put on my conflict resolution coach hat and try to change the conversation to include others in the dialogue.

Not this time.  It was amazing to watch the other guests look uncomfortable because MS. TRIGGER didn’t take a breath all evening.  She interrupted everyone and was rude to anyone who tried to add his or her opinion.

1 Easy Lesson I Learned and Used From Buddha’s Quote

The moment I entered my car, a friend called me and didn’t stop complaining about MS. TRIGGER.  
The great news is that I wasn’t upset because I told myself,   “NOT TO GET INVOLVED.”  

It’s that simple, dear readers.  

My friend couldn’t sleep that night because she was so riled up about MS. TRIGGER.
I had a great night’s sleep because of this successful experiment.
All I had to do was keep silent.

I know those of you who have been following me know that I encourage clients to speak their voice. 
There are times when it’s better to stay silent especially if you don’t want to create more inner stress for yourself.

How Does Buddha’s Quote Speak to You?

Have you experienced a time like this when you attempted to control a conversation and it went sour?
Hopefully, you learned an important lesson – not to get involved in every little drama that appears in our life.

Please share how Buddha’s quote speaks to you in the comment section.
When did you decide to stay silent with an irritating person?  How did this work out? 

The next time you know that a Trigger will be at the same meeting or social gathering, what message can you feed yourself?

This stuff works.  I only share real scenarios with you that clients have experienced.
This time, I added my story as a coaching moment for you. 🙂

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP

Conflict Resolution Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media so other growth-minded people can control their inner stress.

PPS.  We are updating our blog and can’t wait to share Kick Conflict to the Curb: Stomp Out Your Stress with you soon. 

 

 

 

 

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Discover How to Control Your Stress During These Chaotic Time

gain control with boundaries

  • Do you want to control your stress?
  • Have you been frustrated about being home 24/7 with your family during the pandemic of 2020?
  • Are the negativity and judgment starting to drive you crazy?
  • Do you want to find time for yourself between all the zoom meetings?
  • Is it time to change this?

If so please keep on reading!  There is a solution, I promise!

A friend and colleague of mine, Tom Borg owner of  Tom Borg Consulting, just gave me a stress quotient assessment from TTI.  Find out more about the STRESS Quotient below:

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This is an easy assessment and I found it very helpful!  Reach out to me if you want to discover what you need to change in order to control your stress. Call my cell: 248.310.6998 or send an email:  Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

What did the assessment say about Joyce’s stress?

There was NO surprise with the results yet the evaluation was necessary for me to see how I could control my stress better. The stress quotient showed that I’m in control of my day except in one area – meetings.  I don’t know about you, the last few months I’ve been on at least 3-6 zoom meetings each day.  I wanted to be in most of the meetings.  I took online courses on how to improve videos, engage clients during my online courses, 2 mastermind groups, plus connecting with clients.  These are all good reasons to be on zoom calls.

Once I saw the results I knew I needed to make a change.  I was starting to feel the pressure at the end of the day.  I figured out what I needed to change when I talked to Tom about my results.  I had to change directions.  One of my mastermind groups met daily at noon.  I was starting to resent the daily meetings even though they were always productive.  I took a risk during one of the sessions and shared my concern about being on these mastermind meetings daily.  The other members felt the same way and were in agreement to meet only 2 days per week.

The secret?  Boundaries

My challenge to you is to figure out where you need to set boundaries in your personal and professional life.   I already shared mine with you.
What conversations do you need to have to discuss setting boundaries and control your stress?  Please share what you need to do to take care of your time for you.

Let’s have a great discussion by including your thoughts in the comment area.  You know I will respond.  😉  Feel free to send me a private email if you want to go deeper.

Until next time,

My name is Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

I coach clients how to reduce drama and find more peace by kicking conflict to the curb! Now let’s go do it. :)

 

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A Motivational Video about Inner Stress

Have you ever watched a motivational video that spoke to you?  Where the story seemed personalized just for you?

It seems that the best motivational videos appear on my screen at the right times.  I’m writing this article during the pandemic in May 2020.  We are all living in fear yet there are opportunities happening all the time if we just look for them.

  •      Cooking innovate meals with the family
  •      Eating meals together
  •      Dividing chores up while listening to our favorite music
  •      Zoom parties with family or friends
  •      Spending quality time outside
  •      Taking an online course

The motivational video below is one of my favorite stories about a Cherokee grandfather talking about life with his grandson.  Hope you enjoy it also.

Motivational Video Story

A Cherokee grandfather was having a deep conversation with his grandson about life.  The grandfather said, “There is an inner fight going on within me between the bad wolf and good wolf.  The bad wolf is mean, selfish, negative, and a bully.  The good wolf is caring, supportive, positive, and generous.  There’s the same inner fight going on within everyone including you.”  The grandson asks, “Which wolf wins?” The grandfather says, “It depends on the one you feed.”  motivational video

Motivational Video Interpretation by Joyce

I’ve told this story many times to clients who are stuck either with relationships or careers.  They see the meaning immediately when the realization is that most of the time they are feeding the bad wolf.  We then discuss their action steps on how to start feeding the good wolf.  A great first step is to realize how much time we spend feeding the bad wolf.

We can all stop our inner fights as long as we are willing to change this pattern.  It’s not easy to do because there is so much negativity in the world.  It’s hard work to concentrate on the “good wolf.”  Don’t let the negative ones influence you.  Remember, “Don’t walk from negative people – RUN!”

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you either feed the good or bad wolf.  How do you protect your “good wolf?”  How does this motivational video speak to you?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Do you Want More Info on Inner Stress?

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Conflict in the Workplace Knowledge Page https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace/

 

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Career Advancement is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!
Find your voice with Joyce!

 

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Communication Strategies: People Bringing Problems from Home to Work

Communication strategies will be the topic for the next few posts.  You will find case scenarios taken from recent Be Direct with Respect® workshops.

The following Topics will be covered:

  • How to have a tough conversation with a direct report who brings problems from home to work
  • Starting a direct conversation about mediocrity
  • How negativity lowers morale

Read last week’s article on Communication Strategies to Use with Someone Who Brings Problems from Home to Work HERE

Have you dealt with any of the following issues?

  • A direct report who brings issues from home to work and you don’t know what to say.
  • You don’t know how to set boundaries with a stressed-out colleague.  You want to be supportive and you have deadlines to meet.

This article has 2 communication strategies to help you support a friend, colleague or direct report.

Communication Strategy #1:  Make the conversation safe

Make the conversation safe by starting it out with I do want – I don’t want. bullying in the workplace |communication strategies

Here are a few examples:

I don’t want to overstep my boundaries.
I do want to make sure that you are ok.

I don’t want to push you over the edge.
I do want to suggest getting support during this challenging time for you.

I do want you to know that I’m here for you.
I don’t want to leave this unsaid.

You will be reading about this strategy again in the next two articles.  You may be asking yourself, “Joyce why are you repeating this strategy?”  The reason – it works!  You can make your conversations safe by using this strategy.  You can also change the words around by using I don’t want at the beginning or start out with I do want.  Everyone’s comfort level is different.

Communication Strategy #2:  Use Be Direct with Respect®

Be direct with respect®

  • Allows you to be direct in a respectful way
  • Is truth with heart
  • Creates a win/win situation
  • Respects yourself and others

I am ___________________
(Your emotional response)

When I __________________
(Non-judgmental)

Because __________________
(How it affects you)

I am concerned about your state of mine when I see you withdrawn and irritated because I want the best for complainers; negativity in the workplace | improving communication |communication strategiesyou and for us to be at our best as a team.

I am concerned when I see your home issues affecting your work because it impacts your performance and the entire team.

These 2 communication strategies will give you a plan on how to approach this delicate subject with someone who may need some support while you need to set boundaries.  Find more communication strategies in the search option of this blog.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you have helped a stressed-out colleague or direct report.  Let me know what other communication or conflict resolution topics you want me to write about to fit your specific needs. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers!   You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce communication strategiesconflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Would you like to explore how our coaching online program Communication Skills at Work could help you advance your career or address bullying? Read more on how you can become a master communicator HERE.

We can set up a FREE laser-focused 30-minute phone coaching session to see if the course is right for you.
Send me an email to set up our session HERE.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

 

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New Facts About Stress and Inner Conflict

Suicide is a tragic experience whether in your personal life or in hearing about the recent news of celebrities,  Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.  After watching a segment on CBS’s Sunday Morning called, “A life cut short:  trying to understand suicide”, that aired on June 10, 2018, I decided to share some facts of suicide, stress and inner conflict with you.

New Facts about Stress, Suicide, and Inner Conflict facts about stress

Suicide Prevention Lifeline (SPL) quotes the following:

  • 12 ½ million people think about suicide
  • 2000 teens kill themselves every year
  • SPL answer 2 million calls
  • SPL saves numerous lives daily

The suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

More Facts about Stress and Inner Conflict facts about stress

  • There are more suicides than car accidents
  • There are twice as many suicides than murders
  • Suicides are up 25% since 1999
  • 2000 teenagers commit suicide yearly

More Facts about Stress and Suicides 

  • Suicides are not spontaneous
  • Suicides don’t happen abruptly
  • 90% of people who commit suicide have a pre-existing mental disorder – whether diagnosed or not
  • Most people who commit suicide have been thinking about it for a long time

Fallacies about Suicide

I’ve spoken to numerous mental health professionals who agree that the three statements below are wrong.

Suicide is easy.
It may look easy, but the suicide victim had inner stress and demons that they may have hidden from loved ones for a long time.

Suicide is selfish.
It may look like a selfish act at first when they leave loved ones to suffer – especially children.  Again, the
demons take over.

Suicide is unstoppable.
Suicide isn’t stoppable for all cases, but there are startling instances that show how asking the right questions and going to suicide prevention groups have saved lives.

Thoughts about Inner Conflict from Joyce

The definition of despair means the complete loss or absence of hope.

Suicide victims feel like they have no other option.  Relatives and friends may feel guilty that they never saw it coming.  That is because the suicide victim doesn’t want others to see the extent of their despair.

Mental health professionals recommend that relatives and friends need to ask the following question to loved ones who are in such despair:  Are you thinking of suicide?   They tell us that this one question “could” bring the problem into the open for some victims.

The question we need to answer ourselves is:  – when does the suicide victim reach a threshold that they are compelled to take their life?  Many times, suicide happens after an event occurs in their life.  Suicide victims have a pre-existing condition and don’t act spontaneously – even though it may look that way at first.

I have learned some new approaches with loved ones who have a mental illness; for example, I give them flowers when they return from a stay in a mental facility.  Loved ones tell me how much they appreciate the flowers or books.  Each time I have given gifts the conversations are about how mental health patients are NOT treated like they have a disease.  It is sad to hear these comments.  It is their truth.  I feel that there is still a stigma for people who suffer from mental illness of any kind.  We need to treat them with the same care, respect, and love as we do with those who have a physical illness.  Neither illness can be helped.  It could be in their DNA.

Read more here about my article on “An Internal Fight Within All of Us.”

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on your experience with loved ones who suffer from mental illness.    What stories or techniques have you used that helped them with their inner stress?  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work or home.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss

Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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