Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Do You Want to Hear a Podcast With Tips on How to Reduce Stress and Conflict in the Workplace?

My loyal readers have asked me to inform them when I’m interviewed on the radio especially on
the topic of reducing stress and conflict in the workplace.

I was honored to be a guest on the Catalyst Business Talk Radio Show.
I thank David Pace from  Business Speakers Bureau for the introduction.

Do you want to hear my latest podcast on how to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace?
If you answered, “yes”, you’re at the right place.

Check out the entertaining and informative interview that Catalyst Business Talk Radio Show Public Radio produced on
Secrets to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace.

      Click here for the podcast
Click Here  For more great business podcasts from Catalyst Business Talk Radio Show

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Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss
and Remember…You Get What You Tolerate!

PS If you haven’t signed up for the Free Video Series on “Reducing Conflict in the Workplace”… you can do this right now
Click here to register for the Free Video Series

 

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Questions to Encourage Cooperation and Respect in the Workplace

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get along with a certain co-worker which creates a lot of conflict in the workplace. Maybe your personalities are just too different, or perhaps your work processes and preferences conflict. Despite this fact, you still have to work together – sometimes very closely – so you need to establish a relationship of cooperation and respect.
But cooperation and respect can be hard to maintain. The key is to get the other person to agree on this one working relationship goal, and then to work together (rather than singularly) to keep the cooperation and respect strong. Therefore, meet with the co-worker who is troubling you and together answer these seven questions. Only with this insight can you move forward toward productive results.

1.    What is our main challenge?
You need to pinpoint what specifically keeps you from having a working relationship based on cooperation and respect. Does it have to do with work styles, personalities, ethnicity/cultural differences, etc.? You need to know what you have to overcome before you can actually do it.

2.    How are we different?
Suppose that you figure out that your conflicting work styles cause the friction. The next step is to identify specifically how your work styles are different. For example, maybe you discover that while you prefer to have e-mail communications, your co-worker finds e-mail cold and impersonal and wants face-to-face meetings. At this point remember not to blame each other for the difference or defend yourself. You want to find how to capitalize on your differences.

3.    How are we the same?
Despite your differences, you likely have a few similarities. In fact, at one point in your history together, you probably did one thing – even one small project – together well. What worked then? The key is for you to build off your sameness to establish cooperation and respect.

4.    What opportunities are within our reach?
In other words, if we work together what can we accomplish together? This question gets you to think positively about the other person so you can have the motivation to work together in a way that fosters cooperation and respect.

5.    How can others in the department or company help us?
Remember that you’re not alone. Others in your department or company want you to develop mutual cooperation and respect. Identify who those people are and get their input.

6.    How can we communicate with each other better?
In order to work on your relationship, try spending some time together. This does not mean hanging out together on weekends. It simply means for you to go to lunch together once per week or agree to meet for 20 minutes every Monday to go over weekly goals. Do something to get the dialog started.

7.    How can we amaze ourselves?
Determine what would be an amazing experience for the two of you working together. Describe it in great detail. Use that vision to guide your future working efforts. Before you know it, you’ll have a solid base of cooperation and respect to build from.

Was this helpful?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Feel free to share these tips with your team – Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.

Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

Until next time…Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant and Accountability Coach

P.S.  Sign up for your own FREE video series – “20 Tips to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace”  HERE

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Reduce Conflict in the Workplace: Take Control of Difficult Conversations

Enhance Your Communication, Enhance Your Career

Communication woes plague professionals across the board: Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Rather than pushing back, getting even, or seething in silence, you can gain control of the situation and diplomatically deal with unkind people and behavior. The solution is called Verbal Aikido, and it’s a communications technique that won’t get you fired.

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense that uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker in order to create balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Verbal Aikido Basics

The cardinal rule of Verbal Aikido is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

EXAMPLE:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusatory, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a verbal aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses, thus giving the other person nothing to push against.

EXAMPLE:

Suppose you’re giving constructive criticism to a male co-worker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming emotional and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. However, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

There’s no doubt that being able to communicate effectively is a major determinant to professional success. Hostile and emotional reactions only add fuel to the discussion … while counter responses restore harmony and balance.

So the next time you’re the recipient of a verbal lashing, analyze the comment. If the other party is pushing your buttons, pull back. If the other party is pulling you in a direction you don’t want the conversation to go, push forward.

Remember these five tips:

1. Protect yourself from others who try to infect you with their anger and hostility by being Direct with Respect®.

2. No matter who is dishing out the verbal assault, whether it’s a client, coworker, or supervisor, never repeat the accusation. Doing so will only force you to absorb the negative message.

3. You can diffuse any verbal attack by dissecting the comment and then deciding whether to push or pull as you accept, redirect, and reaffirm the statement.

4. When you give the other party nothing to push against, you gain control of the situation.

You are able to remain positive during the conversation, not defensive.

5. When all else fails, have the courage to walk away from someone who is verbally attacking you. Don’t be a willing participant in an uncontrollable negative situation.

The more proficient you become at Verbal Aikido, the more natural it will become – and the stronger all your verbal communications will be.

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If you want to go further into your own professional growth, check out the link for the on-demand
Communicate with Impact Course

“Joyce Weiss has a knack for getting to the point when it comes to communication.  Her Communicate with Impact program has taken us to another level in our communication through out all ranks of our organization.  This has allowed us to cut through our  personal barriers to get to the real issues at hand.”

Nancy Wasczenski, Presidnet, Parda Federal Credit Union

Was this helpful?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team-Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
Sigh up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

Until next time…Remember

“You Get What You Tolerate!”
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant and Accountability Coach

 

 

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Use Be Direct with Respect® to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Be Direct with Respect® Strategies

You can now go to the next level in your career development after reading this article by taking Joyce’s newest on line course which includes a coaching session on the phone.  You have the opportunity to work with Joyce on an issue that you learned about yourself during the course. Look for details about this exciting offer below the article.

Strategy 1: Eliminate Ambiguity

By being Direct With Respect®, you’ll always begin with positive statements and get right to the point. If your conversation is to point out and correct negative behaviors, describe the person’s actions, not their personality. Use language that makes an impact, yet decreases defensiveness. One good way to do this is by using “I” statements rather than “you” statements. Also, use factual descriptions instead of judgments or exaggerations.

Strategy 2: Gain the ability to be direct and truthful

When should you be direct and speak up? As soon as you reasonably can. If you wait too long, you may forget what you needed to say, which can leave a nasty residue of resentment that can explode at the wrong time ­ or at the wrong person. While it’s difficult to know precisely when to speak up, it’s equally challenging to know when to let something drop. To gain perspective, imagine how important the incident will be in six months. If you think it will still be important, then say something immediately. If it would sound a little silly in six months, then let it drop.

Remember, though, telling the truth isn’t a license to dump your negative feelings on others.

Strategy 3: Develop positive self-talk strategies that propel your career

Once you realize you’re giving negative messages, make a conscious effort to stop and say something positive instead. Stop focusing on what you feel you don’t do well and congratulate yourself for all your strong points. Also, strive to seek out other positive people so you can support each other. Challenge yourself to break away from negative people who are only holding you down. The more positive you are, the more confident you’ll be at being Direct with Respect®. In return, others will feel more confident about your abilities, thus leading to more future success.

Be Direct with Respect® is a new way of thinking and communicating for those who are used to holding things inside. Once you implement Be Direct with Respect®, you’ll find that being direct and truthful will make you self-confident and earn you the respect you deserve. Even more important, as the concept of Be Direct with Respect® takes hold in your company, your employees will communicate better and build stronger relationships with co-workers and customers alike. Before you know it, morale will be up, profits will soar, and your company will be ready to make its mark on the business world.

Check out how you can go deeper and learn more ideas on how you can communicate with impact with
Joyce’s On Demand Course.
Like my client  Lori did after she took the course.

“Things are really going well here since people started taking the Be Direct with Respect®:  Communicate with Impact Course.
We continue to see great progress within our management team which is beginning to flow down to the staff.  I had a meeting with one of my managers this moring and she commented again on your program and how well it impacted her.”
Lori Verbrugge, Human Resource Director, Midwest Financial Credit Union

Click the link below so can get ready for radical communication improvement!
Be Direct with Respect®:  Communicate with Impact On Demand Course

Was this helpful?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team-just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

Until our next visit, Remember…
You Get What You Tolerate!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant & Accountability Coach

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Stress Facts: Is Your Enthusiasm For Work Flickering Out? Reignite the Flame!

Are your coworkers under so much pressure they’re erupting like volcanoes? Do you see people around you turning into pessimists? Are they waiting for the overwhelming situations to just go away?

Burnout is a general erosion of the spirit. It occurs when its victims have been worn out physically and emotionally as a result of long term stress … However, burnout is also a time for deep reflection to make major changes.
or the overwhelming situations to just go away?

10 TIPS TO KEEP THE FLAME BURNING

It took us a long time to form these negative habits, so it may take some time to make life changing choices. These ideas will take you back to the basics. Find the one idea that “speaks to you” and take some action. Are you ready?

1. Find a hobby.

Talk to people who have achieved balance in their lives and find out what activities they’ve added to enrich their lives. What activities have you wanted to experience? Now is the time to discover them – not when you retire.

2. Take a class for fun in order to add something different to your life.

A benefit from taking a new class is that you will meet people who have the same interests as you. If you are thinking that you don’t have the time, ask yourself…”If not now, then when?”

3. Volunteer for a cause that means something to you.

I hear many success stories of people finding new opportunities after they give their time and attention to others. Studies show that people tend to be happier when they help others.

4. Eat right and exercise.

Do these for the right reasons. Find a nutritionist or health coach who will support you to make behavioral changes that are stopping you from feeling as good as you can. It usually takes only a few sessions.

5. Rest.

I don’t mean hide. Your body may need some extra time to heal. So take the time, just don’t use it as an excuse to stay away from others.

6. Concentrate on what is in front of your nose.

If you’re taking a walk, notice what’s in front of you. If you’re at home, notice the person you’re talking to. Do your best to turn off your self talk about work.

7. Suggest holding team meetings to discuss what everyone in the organization can do together.

Are teams working together or waiting for the stress to go away?

The new norm is doing more with less. Strategize fresh ideas on how the team can work better than ever before.

8. Learn how to be authentic and share your thoughts with others.

This tip is a real burnout buster. People who are straightforward experience less stress. Instead of wasting hours during the night thinking of what you should have said to someone, just do it. Be Direct with Respect® is a skill that is well worth learning!

Look at the my Communicate with Impact! online course to stay connected with Joyce and get great results.

9. Discover the necessity of positive humor at work and at home.

Positive humor lightens the stress of impossible tasks. Humor’s not a luxury in our lives anymore, it’s become a necessity.

10. Discover what values are important to you.

The qualities you consider most significant will have a tremendous impact on your life.

Which ones need immediate attention? Could it be personal solitude, creativity, family, social welfare, freedom, or independence? Balance is the key to re-igniting your energy.

REIGNITE YOUR ENERGY!

Abraham Lincoln said, “People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Burnout is a time for us to look within ourselves and find what is missing in our lives. With some introspection and change, we can rekindle our vitality and move on to more exciting times. And one last thing… make sure to enjoy the journey!

Check out the link below if you want to go deeper in your own life to gain the control that you deserve.
You will hear Joyce being interviewed on how to gain control and new facts about stress.
Click on this link to discover more information with the Stress Facts podcast

 

Was this helpful?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team-Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

Until next time, Remember…

“You Get What You Tolerate!”
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant & Accountability Coach

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831