Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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March 15, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

2 Surprising Tips to Make Your Relationships Better |Video

Are you ready for two easy and surprising tips to make your relationships better?

This week’s video shows you how to get better results even during a difficult conversation.

Coaching clients get powerful results after practicing these strategies with me. It’s surprisingly easy.

Stephen R. Covey said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand: they listen with the intent to reply.”

Improve Your Relationships Tip #1: Explore From the Other Person’s Shoes

Here are two examples:

  • “I’d be pretty mad if I were in your shoes.”
  • “I can see why you may say this.”

These statements show that you are listening deeply. Your relationships will improve when others see that you are really with them.

Make Better Relationships Tip # 2: Propose a Harmonious Outcome

The following examples show you how easy it is:

  • “What bothers you most about the person?”
  • “How can you explain your reason for acting this way?”

You are not judging, just asking two exploratory questions to help the other person resolve his or her situation.

Joyce, What Are Your Thoughts? 

I’m glad you asked. 🙂
Just listen to others communicate. It won’t take long for you to figure out that most people listen only to reply. They are not with the other person and it’s so evident.

Remember Stephen Covey’s quote:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand: they listen with the intent to reply.”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you?

You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Let’s resolve any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.  

Here’s my calendar. 

Let’s reduce your inner stress!

I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. And coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email to discover how easy this process is.

Here’s the link that describes packages that fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

Subscribe to my youtube channel for more communication tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to get great results

You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Thanks for watching and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

Filed Under: Communication Strategies, improve relationships
Tagged With: effective communication, improving communication skills

July 27, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

How to Complain Less and Be Happier – 4 Easy Ways

Are you ready for a bold statement from me on how to complain less?
Some complaints are insulting and embarrassing to hear.

There, I said it! I’m expecting some pushback from some of you.  And I welcome your opinions!

Full disclosure here:  I figured out why people complain more these days.  Before you start sending me your pushback, please read the entire article. 🙂 The ideas for this post started when I spoke with my hairdresser Michelle. We always share what’s going on in our worlds every month. And, the conversation is never dull.

Is Complaining a Bad Thing? How to Complain, Less how to complain less |coaching your team |coaching strategies | conflict in the workplace | humor | communication strategies

Constantly complaining can be an easy way to frustrate our confidants.  On the other hand, there is research that shows it can also be a useful tool. Especially in helping us process emotions like stress and frustration. In short: Yes, it’s bad to complain, and yes, there’s a right way to do it.

The Story Behind the Story

This is how it all started. My hairdresser, Michelle said, “I was offended by Sue, a guest at a party who complained how hard it was to find a gardener for her 4 acre home. Sue went on and on for about 10 minutes.  Sue didn’t know that the people listening to these complaints lived modestly.  Most of the guests had to make major financial changes since the pandemic.” Michelle didn’t sound like a victim at all. All she wanted to do was change the conversation! Additionally, she didn’t know how to stop Sue from complaining for such a long time.

Joyce Give Us More Examples: How to Complain, Less

I thought about the conversation with Michelle. And, decided to write this article on how dangerous complaining is for our health – physical and mental.

Here are three examples that I experienced in one week!

  1. A customer couldn’t get eggs at 6 pm because the restaurant was short-staffed – with only one cook. The customer continued complaining for a while and made quite a scene.  
  2. Another customer sounded like a 2-year-old. As a result of not getting her way. She found out that the restaurant had to remove lamb chops from the menu.  The supplier went out of business. The manager was called in AGAIN to calm down the “2-year old.”
  3. George and Ann made a scene in a local diner. They couldn’t eat at their favorite table.  As a result, the manager had to be called in because she needed to calm down these volatile customers.

Enough already!  There are more stories that I could include. In fact, I need to start protecting my own health! 🙂

Joyce’s First Impression

At first, I thought how spoiled people are that they complain about the smallest things.  This sounds judgmental on my side.  I know that.  I take full responsibility for this. 

Then, I put on my coaching hat after these 3 incidents. And, came up with a less judgy opinion. The pandemic has changed how many of us deal with challenges and change.  Some people appreciate the fact that they can get out, travel, and be with loved ones.  Others are having a hard time with changes that they had to make. In fact, the smallest change sets them off.

Anxiety is at a high time right now.  Additionally, we still don’t know how the virus is going to play out in our future.  Plus, we have bigger problems to solve in the world besides the things that we can’t get anymore – like eggs after 1 pm or lamb chops!

Some people have a lower threshold.  And, you can see this by the way they complain more than they did before. 

How to complain less |Individual CoachingEasy Strategies to Use: How to Complain, Less

  1. Your happiness is your choice.  Change our thinking and we will change our life.  Of course, we all complain at times.  Complaining daily is dangerous to your success and happiness. 

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”- Proverb

     2. Be grateful for who you are and what you have.  Michelle wanted to tell Sue to feel grateful that she has such a beautiful home with such a huge garden. Michelle didn’t say anything because she didn’t know the guest well. On the other hand, Michelle started to feel more grateful after Sue’s conversation.  Michelle loves her home. She loves the fact that she gardens herself because she doesn’t have a large lot!

     3. It’s a good thing to vent every once in a while. This is healthy communication.  Even more, venting all the time is unhealthy for your relationships, career, and your health.

     4.  Shift the direction when you are talking to “Connie the Complainer.” Ask Connie, “What’s going right with you these days?” This one question MAY shift Connie from constant complaining to sharing something positive.

Read more on changing your mindset: Think like Buddha HERE: 

Joyce’s Concluding Thoughts

You are the only person who can change your unhealthy communication. Notice how often you complain to family, friends, or at work. This could be an indication that you need to vent more.  Additionally, you may be having a hard time keeping up with so many changes. And, an uncertain future. This may be a good time to speak to your doctor or health care provider.  Anxiety is at an all-time high now.

People ask me how I keep my positive attitude going.  Especially,  since I help people deal with their conflict and inner stress. It’s easy for me to answer.  I am a human being. At times you will hear me complain also. This pandemic showed me how grateful I am for family, friends, my career, and my health. I realize that everyone is not as fortunate.  They have experienced such loss.

I don’t take life for granted.  There will always be people who complain about mundane things.  It’s their choice.  It’s our choice to see how the world has changed.  It has nothing to do with us. We need to show our resilience. It’s our new normal.

I welcome your thoughts about this article.  Bring on your contrarian views.  I’m open and ready to respond.

This is a great time for you to check out how your communication skills impact your success at work and home.  Take your FREE Communication Assessment HERE

Let’s Stay Connected

  • Please share your thoughts about this week’s post.
  • How does it resonate with you?
  • How do you deal with the “Complaining Connies?”

You can share your opinions in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers so that they feel heard and respected.
This means they are confident to use their voice – without losing their cool!

P.P.P.S Let me know if you are ready to discuss if working with me as your (or your direct reports) private coach.  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

 

Filed Under: change mind set
Tagged With: improving communication skills, personal development

June 9, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

What is your Favorite Quote That Gets You Through the Day?

Do you have a favorite quote that represents how you think about life?
Would you like to put the words on a tee-shirt?  Don’t worry, I’m not selling clothes! 😉

This blog post consists of a video that describes my favorite quote by Martin Luther King Jr.  After you watch the video, please share your favorite quote that gets you through the day.

Joyce’s Favorite Quote by Martin Luther King Jr. favorite quote | Martin Luther King Jr.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Anyone who knows me realizes why I use this quote in my online communication course:  Kick Conflict to the Curb:  Get the Respect YOU Deserve!

I support clients who don’t know how to use their voices as much as they need to in order to get taken seriously or even heard.
Clients relate the moment I share Martin Luther King Jr’s words of wisdom.  We practice strategies to make them feel more confident.
I love this part of my job when people see the light after only a few sessions.

What’s Your Favorite Quote?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me on my cell: 248.310.6998 or office: 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable giving tough conversations to employees who will not be returning to work after the pandemic.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new communication skills immediately to reduce their tension.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Until Next Week,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

Filed Under: favorite quote, Improving Communication
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, improving communication skills

April 14, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Video #11: How to Find Your Own Stories to Engage Your Audience

Welcome to Video #11 in the Series Secrets from a Trainer on How to Engage Your Audience.

Clients ask me how they can find their own stories to share in their training or speeches.  I’ve watched many trainers and speakers over my career.  The ones who connect immediately are real and share a story or two about themselves.  Of course, the stories have to be focused on their topic.

I started listening to storytellers in Detroit and learned how they engaged the audience immediately.  This experience allowed me to look inside to find my own stories.  I had to train myself to pay attention to the lessons that I learned from my childhood and the mistakes that I made!  The stories finally appeared like magic.

One of my favorite ones is when my father taught me how to ride my first two-wheel bike.  This story helped me write my 2nd book, Take the Ride of Your Life.  I will read portions of Take the Ride of Your Life in the next few videos.

Today’s Lesson on Finding Your Story to Engage Your Audience

  • What about you?
  • How can you find your story?
  • Dig deep inside.
  • Think of the lessons you learned from your childhood or your career.
  • What mistakes did you make and most importantly, what did you learn?

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on what stories you are thinking about or even use when trying to engage your audience.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me on my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 7 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their public speaking skills.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new public speaking skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Here are Videos 1-10 in the series, Secrets from a Trainer to Engage Your Audience 

Video 1
arrive early

Video 2
sit with your audience

Video 3
how to use humor

Video 4
using props

Video 5
danger:  don’t be boring

Video 6
movement exercises

Video 7
evaluations

video 8
why I talk about conflict

Video 9
why I became a career coach

Video 10
handling push back from the audience

 

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

P.S. Career Advancement is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!  

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: engage your audience, Videos
Tagged With: communication videos, improving communication skills

April 7, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Video 10: How to Handle Push Back From Your Audience

By now I hope that you view me as your personal communication strategist.  I have a few questions for you.

  • Have you experienced an audience member who pushed back your ideas during a training or speaking engagement?
  • How did you handle it?
  • Do you want to learn a secret from this communication strategist on how I handled a disgruntled audience member?

Welcome to video 10 in the series Secrets from a Communication Strategist to Engage Your  Audience.

The Communication Strategist Dilemma 

I was coaching a group of men and women who work with the public including the homeless population.  Paul, an audience member blurted out his thoughts in a loud and sarcastic voice.  “Joyce, you seem like a nice person BUT this will not work when we speak with people who live on the street.”

The Communication Strategist Solution

I took a deep breath and said, “Paul,  you’re right.  This strategy won’t work with the homeless.  It will work when you have communication issues with your colleagues.”

Paul took a step back (this is a good sign) and said, “You are right Joyce.  Thanks for coaching us on how to make the conversation safe at work.

 Today’s Lesson

Agree with the disgruntled person when someone pushes you back.  Your next step is to counter with a strong statement about how your strategy will work in another setting.  Of course, there will be times when agreeing with a disgruntled person is not appropriate and it won’t work.

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with negative audience members.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Read How I can be Your Private Communication Strategist

Do you want more information on this powerful communication technique called verbal aikido?  There are 3 options.

  1.  Please look at my online coaching program Communication Skills at Work HERE.    The coaching course is perfect for those of you who want to work with me as your online communication coach.  We work together through email as you read the self-study manual to advance your career and improve your relationships.

2.  Another option is to purchase your own copy of the Communication Skills at Work Self Study Manual HERE.
The self study manual was designed for those of you who want to read about the techniques on your own.

3.  You can also contact me to discuss how we can work together on the phone with me as your own communication
strategist
.  We have several options to fit your schedule and budget.  Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or
800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development.

Here are the Videos in the  Series Secrets from a Trainer How to Engage Your Audience

 

Video 1
arrive early

Video 2
sit with your audience

Video 3
how to use humor

Video 4
using props

Video 5
danger:  don’t be boring

Video 6
movement exercises

Video 7
evaluations

video 8
why I talk about conflict

Video 9
why I became a career coach

 

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

P.S. Find your voice with Joyce!

 

 

 

Filed Under: communication secrets, verbal aikido
Tagged With: improving communication skills

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Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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