Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Workplace Bullying:  2 Steps to Overcome It and Fight Back | Part 1

This is Part 1 in a series of blogs that cover workplace bullying.

  • Do you have bullies at work?
  • Are you a target for these dangerous people?
  • What do leaders do to stop bullies?

    Indian Activist Gandhi said, “Bullies are always found where there are cowards.”

    This quote speaks such truth.  Bullies are like spoiled children who are jealous of others on the playground.


Facts About Workplace Bullying workplace bullies |challenges at work | bullies in the workplace

Bullying is a form of violence. In addition, they don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s heath. Plus, they affect your organization’s fiscal health.

Bullying is experienced by more than ⅓ of the Us workforce. And it is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment.

These facts must be shared with leaders who let workforce bullies get away with their behavior. Coaching clients who are not leaders share these facts with their boss.

A Description of  Workplace Bullying

  • Sabotage over a significant amount of time
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Intimidation
  • Humiliation

Mistreatment severe enough to compromise a worker’s health and interpersonal Destruction are both devastating for the bully’s target.

Add all of these together, and you’ll discover it’s about the bully’s agenda!

Look for more strategies next week on fighting back against workplace bullies.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

You are my loyal readers and are always welcome to contact me for a complimentary 20-minute session. Let’s start a great
discussion to discover how you can stop feeling stuck anywhere in your life.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel www.youtube.com/joyceweiss for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports
to reduce stress and conflict. You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Thanks for reading, and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

 

 

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Turn a Negative Situation Around to Reduce Conflict

Coaching clients share their frustration with not being able to turn negative situations around more and more these days. When a conflict occurs, many people believe they can’t say or do anything to fix it.  Plus, if they just lay low, they can escape any repercussions.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Turning a blind eye to things or hoping for a negative situation to resolve on its own will only lead to frustration.

This post covers how to handle an internal negative situation.  Next week you’ll receive strategies on how to resolve an external negative situation.

Here’s An Easy Tip to Resolve a Negative Internal Situation

An internal situation could be a co-worker who is continually negative and dragging the team down. Or it could be an employee who’s lazy. Unfortunately, most people think dealing with such internal situations is the manager’s job only. But in fact, anyone can take steps to address such issues.

Simply saying something like, “I don’t want to create stress between us. I do want to discuss why our department needs to work together. Especially because we don’t have the manpower as we did two years ago.”

This statement helps diffuse someone’s negativity. Granted, you can’t expect to step in and be the super-hero who saves the company from negative people. You can have the courage to step up and state the facts in a Direct with Respect® way.

Some people are so used to negative people or a destructive culture that they just stay stuck. It’s a risk that’s worth taking.  If you don’t – and you chicken out now– you’ll pay the price later.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. I decided to take a risk and start interviewing thought-provoking leaders LIVE on my show: Kick Conflict to the Curb™.  Please join me on June 1, 2022, at 1 pm Eastern. You’ll hear Diane DiResta share powerful strategies on Confident Communication. Hey, how can I talk with my coaching clients or loyal blog readers to take risks if I’m stuck in the same routine?
Hope to see you there!

negative situation

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How to Stop Your Top Talent Leaving | Video

Is your top talent leaving?

Do you know why they leave?

Do you want to do something about this?

Watch the video below to discover 3 powerful phrases that can stop your stars from leaving your company.

Are you ready to discover how to lower the chance of this from happening?

Let’s address the elephant in the room

Many leaders don’t even ask the reason why top talent is leaving.

They don’t have the skills or don’t know that asking WHY can help keep star employees from exiting.
Coaching clients who implement these communication skills report back to me with some great news. Additionally, they ask hard questions to these great employees.
Many times this important discussion stopped their employees from leaving the company.

Step 1: Stop Your Top Talent Leaving

Help them feel heard. 

Here’s an example:
An HR Professional client, Bob described how his employee Sue was very productive but had lost her motivation.
Bob spoke to Sue and discovered that Sue was risk-averse.

Things were changing too fast for her. She didn’t feel secure or heard.
Additionally, Bob asked Sue how he could help her feel more secure.

Step 2: Stop Your Top Talent Leaving

Here are phrases that will help you immediately:

  • Tell me more
  • I’m curious
  • I noticed

    This is how Bob used these powerful communication strategies:

    “I noticed that normally you add a lot to our team. Lately, I haven’t heard you share. Is everything ok?”

    First Sue opened up about how she doesn’t do well when things change so rapidly. Next, she felt less stressed when Bob took the time to ask her how he could help. And, by listening to Sue’s challenges.

    These phrases help set the stage for having an open conversation. Plus the other person feels heard.

    I Invite You to a FREE Webinar – “Speak Up without Stressing Out” sponsored by BigVu.

It takes place LIVE on 3/3 at 3 pm EST. 

Discover How to:
      * Start a tough conversation
      * Get into a safe place before you open your mouth
      * Control your frustration/anger with difficult people
      * Feel comfortable recording your videos

Click on the graphic below to go live on youtube on 3/3 at 3 pm EST. Make sure to put this event on your calendar! 🙂

Here are more links for you to use so you can hear me live.

YouTube

Linkedin

 

The video below gives you more details.

 

I’ll save a good seat for you. 🙂

 

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Get Ready to Take Control of Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations plague professionals across the board. Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Additionally, clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Rather than pushing back or getting even,  you can gain control of the situation. In fact, seething in silence doesn’t help to diplomatically deal with unkind people. The solution is called Verbal Aikido. It’s a communications technique that won’t get you fired.

What is Aikido?

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense. It uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker. And creates balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment. Additionally, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Verbal Aikido Basics to Get in Control of Difficult Conversations difficult people

The cardinal rule of Verbal Aikido is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #1 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusation, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” Don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a Verbal Aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses. And gives the other person nothing to push against.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #2 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

Suppose you’re giving constructive feedback to a male coworker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming “heated” and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. In fact, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

How would you respond during either one of these 2 examples about Verbal Aikido?

Please share your thoughts and let’s continue this important conversation.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How can you see using Verbal Aikido? 
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.
 

Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

 

 

 

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Gain Control if You Work for a Real Jerk: 3 Easy Tips You Can Use: Part 5

  • Do you want to stop your inner stress if you work with a real jerk?real jerk | work for a jerk
  • Are you stuck with a nonteam player who is constantly putting others {even you} down?
  • It took me a while to figure out how to do this myself.

This article is about 3 easy strategies that I experimented with when dealing with my real jerk.  They are tested and yes, they do work. 🙂

As you know, your rude coworker drains a lot of time and energy from anyone who works with this real jerk. 

An interesting study about real jerks

Christine Porath, the author of Mastering Civility, surveyed 800 people across 17 industries. Porath concluded that when employees don’t feel respected, their productivity suffers. 

Here are some shocking statistics from Porath’s research:

  • 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers when they work with a real jerk. {Ouch!}
  • 12% said they left their job because of this rudeness.

My question to you and your leaders is how much is this costing your organization from not stopping these real jerks? I hope you’re listening! 😉 

This is the final article in the 5 part series: “Working with a Jerk.”

The previous articles covered real jerks who:

  • Purposely stepped on a co-worker’s foot 
  • Sarcastically ridiculed a colleagues’ clothes
  • Erased a co-worker’s name from the company recognition board because he was jealous of the co-worker’s success 

I have not made up any of these stories.  You will find more in future articles. Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks

Here we go with 3 ideas you can use to reduce your inner stress if you work for a real jerk

Practice THE GAP Technique: Strategy #1 to reduce inner stress working with a real jerk

THE GAP is your Safe Place to decide what you will say or not say before opening up your mouth. This is one of the strategies in the WEISS COMMUNICATION SUCCESS PLAN. real jerk

  • Decide how you will handle this situation. 
  • Are you going to speak directly to your real jerk? 
  • Do you want to discuss this with HR before you move forward?
  • Is it better to avoid this person?

Talk with your rude colleague:  Strategy #2 to reduce your drama with your real jerk

This is a great idea if you have a solid relationship with this co-worker.  

  • Focus on the issue – not the person.
  • Discuss how this negative behavior is harming your relationship.
  • Listen to what your colleague says and do your best NOT to push back.
  • Get into his or her shoes and gain perspective on what you are hearing.

You may discover that this rudeness has nothing to do with work. And, when you have a positive conversation, things may work out better for you.

There’s always a risk that things may backfire. For those of you who know me, go on and say out loud what I will write;  “It’s worth the risk!”  At least you started the conversation. And, you expressed how you are being impacted.

Decide the pros and cons to leaving this toxic environment: Strategy #3 to gain control with your real jerk

The biggest issue is when leaders have a blind eye to these real jerks. They are doing so much harm when they don’t address these rude people. real jerk | work for a jerk | coaching your team | action plans | action steps

Ask yourself the following questions before you decide to leave:

  • How is your current job affecting your life outside of work?
  • Have you gone to your Doctor because of this inner stress?
  • How would leaving or not leaving affect your career?
  • Did you discuss your concern with HR or your supervisor?

This was a hard decision for clients who decided to leave a company due to a real jerk. If you are experiencing this now, feel free to reach out and we can have a laser-focused session. 

Send me an email for this discovery call.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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