Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Working with Rude People – Part 1

  • Do you work with rude people?
  • Are you ready to share your experience to reduce your stress?
  • Do you want to hear horror stories from my clients?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are in the right place!  😉

The next few articles will be about adults who act like children not playing nice in the sandbox.  I am NOT making any of them up.  These are true incidents that my clients have shared with me.  I have changed the business settings to protect the innocent. 🙂 

Working with Rude People: Story #1 Rude people | Communication Strategies

Bob and Gary are two colleagues who don’t get along.  The tension got out of hand when the following happened in their workplace. 

Bob realized that no matter what he said or did, Gary would do his best to ridicule Bob at meetings. 

One day Bob was standing by his desk and Gary walked by him and actually stepped on Bob’s feet! 

Working with Rude People: Questions to Ponder

Here Are Two Questions for You:

1.  What would you do or say if you were Bob?

2.  What would you do or say if you were the boss?

Please put your answers in the comment section below.  I will share your ideas in a future article. 

Click HERE to read my article on Cruel Words Take Root in Us

I want to hear from you!

There is so much rage these days! It would be great to start a conversation about rude people and behavior that you have seen.  Please share your story in the comment sections below.
I will be sharing my own experiences also because it seems like rudeness is the new normal these days.  Just saying!

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach and Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. I will be doing an extra masterclass soon because there was a technical glitch last week. I take care of my loyal clients and readers! A few of you couldn’t get into the zoom room because of this technical issue. 🙁 I’ve got you covered!  Let me know if you want to be invited to join the next FREE master class:  How to Feel Heard when No One is Listening without Losing Your Cool. I will send you the registration link when I hear from you.  

 

 

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5 Action Steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb

Hello, Dear Kick Conflict to the Curb Readers!

The next 3 posts will include 5 new action steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb.  The action steps come from creating content for my virtual class and coaching clients. If you want more information on any of the action steps, do a search in the search bar on this site {JoyceWeiss.com}.

There are 20 action steps in total and I look forward to hearing which ones are your favorite ones.

Action Steps # 1: Use the Power Talk Formula Team Building | ACTION STEPS

This is such an important strategy to keep in your toolbox because it works!

Here’s the Formula:
“I am…” (Your emotional response)

“When I…” (Nonjudgmental observation)

“Because…” (How it affects you)

I am frustrated when boundaries are not followed because we just conducted a meeting on this important issue for our team.

This powerful statement is all about:

  • Sharing your concern
  • It’s not judgmental or sarcastic – just stating the facts

Your next step is to go deeper with those who don’t follow the new department rules.

Action Step #2: Use Verbal Aikido

This is my clients’ favorite strategy to learn and use. I’ve heard many of you share your experience with verbal aikido and I’m thrilled about this. 🙂

Verbal Aikido:

  • Take back control when you pull back, not push back
  • Repeat the same words or agree with the bully
  • Step into the GAP-Your Safe Place to think of the best response

Action Step #3: Ask a Positive Question to the Negative Person

action steps

This action step may change the mindset of the negative person. Even if it doesn’t at least this is a reminder that you can leave the conversation if the negativity gets out of line.

A great question to use is:  “What is something good that happened to you today?”  This will force a positive response.

Action Steps #4: Create a Code of Conduct with Your Team

A code of conduct helps set the tone and expectations of everyone on the team. It’s best to have someone lead the discussion who is NOT the leader or boss. All department or team members need to be present to get a good representation and better results.

The 3 article links below will give you more details on how to use this powerful action step.

Toolbox Alert #1:  A Code of Conduct Reinforces Accountability

Toolbox Alert #2: A Code of Conduct Improves the Team

Toolbox Alert #3: A Code of Conduct Really Works

Action Steps #5: Improve Morale by Giving a Day Off to an Employee Who Finds a New Hire

This one action step will give you a lot of traction with your company.  Your employees know the company. When they recommend a friend or colleague, it works out well {most of the time} because they want to work with like-minded individuals.

Joyce, What are Your Thoughts About These 5 Action Steps?

I’m glad you asked! 😉  Verbal Aikido and the Power Talk Formula are both parts of the Weiss Communication Success Plan.  Once you learn and implement these 2 strategies, you will transform your communication from not being heard to feeling confident to use your voice.

The great news is that you will be the first group to know when I launch my next Kick Conflict to the Curb Virtual Class in April.  Look for announcements because this is where we take strategies and practice during the live classes so you can put them to use immediately.

The code of conduct and appreciating employees for bringing in new hires help improve morale because people feel heard.

Please share which action step is your favorite, so far.

Let’s stay connected 

Please share these articles and videos with your company, colleagues, friends, or family who could benefit from the content.

You are always welcome to send me an email with questions or concerns about your conflict resolution challenges. Reach out HERE  by sending me an email 

Here are 2 FREE Resources to help you Kick Conflict to the Curb:

Do you want to know how your communication skills impact your success at work?

a. Grab your FREE Communication Assessment to find out blind spots, strengths, and areas for growth.

You will receive your results from me along with 4 videos about communication strategies that you can put into action immediately.  Here’s the link:  https://www.KickConflicttoTheCurb.com.

 b. Sign up for our Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly Update
https://www.JoyceWeiss.com for articles about bullies, communication strategies, coaching secrets, conflict resolution case scenarios, motivational posters, interviews with thought leaders, plus so much more.

Have a GREAT Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

  

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This One Idea Will Reduce Negativity in the Workplace

Are you ready to read about one idea that will reduce negativity in the workplace?

A few years ago I watched a hearing between the Secret Service Director and Congress. It was extremely heated and I knew that I was going to write about this interaction in a future article. Let me refresh your memory. A few agents drank alcohol at a retirement party. After leaving the party, they crashed their car into the white house. It was on international news for several days.

Congress asked important and tough questions to the Secret Service Director and he repeatedly skirted all issues. Congressmen and women actually said, “What are you going to do about it?” The Director said, “I first need to get all of the facts.” Several members of Congress said the same thing, “Why not fire the agents on the spot? You need to make the hard decisions.” The Director was very nervous and it almost sounded like he was covering up the “real story.”

The bottom line is that there was a huge communication breakdown in the Department. Supposedly the Director did not hear about this incident for a few days. I ask the question, why didn’t he hear about this sooner?

Reasons why there is negativity in the workplace:bullies at work | communication challenge | negativity in the workplace

  • Fear of retribution
  • Covering-up for each other
  • Dysfunctional cultural barriers
  • The wrong fit for roles and job responsibilities
  • Not knowing who to go to for answers
  • Unclear expectations
  • Too much red tape

… [Continue reading]

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A Motivational Quote to Keep You Going Even During Dark Times

I recently saw the motivational quote below and knew that I needed to make a poster for my loyal readers!  This post was written during the pandemic of 2020. The message is necessary more so than ever before. Certain friends know that when we get together (at a distance, of course) I don’t mind talking about the latest news – ONLY if it’s for a few minutes and NOT the entire evening. I’m sure you or even some of your friends, colleagues, or family are glued to the TV for hours. This is dangerous for our mental health. Being informed is mandatory in my book. Concentrating on all the negativity is crippling.

Coaching clients see that they are putting themselves in harm’s way when they only concentrate on the darkness.  It’s hard work to change our attitudes.  So hard.  It’s possible when we put our minds on high alert that we can get unstuck and actually find opportunities even during the darkness. I’m hearing patterns after I ask clients, “How have you changed during this pandemic – both positively and negatively?”

      Here are some of the negative responses 

  • I’m having trouble sleeping
  • I’m worried about bills
  • I hope my relative doesn’t get the virus
  • I’m concerned about money or my job
  • I’m afraid that the virus will last a long time
  • Our kids miss their social life and this pandemic is affecting them

    Here are some of the positive responses 

  • I appreciate my family more than ever before
  • I’m taking care of myself by exercising more
  • I’m taking advantage of this new virtual world by taking powerful classes
  • I’m rethinking my career

motivational quote

Why this motivational quote means so much to me

Many of you have seen several posts about launching my Online Course: Kick Conflict to the Curb: Get the Respect You Deserve. This idea came out of the pandemic. I was one of the lucky ones who joined several online courses with top-notch trainers.  Gina Carr, Terry Brock, and Bob Pike have helped me focus on an entirely new career – virtual training. It was difficult finding time to attend all the classes because I was still working with coaching clients even during this dark time. Of course, I didn’t know at the time how impactful this training was going to be for me. I just knew I had to do something to make sure I didn’t get pulled into all the craziness.

My next course starts on September 15th. I’m keeping this class small to concentrate on the needs of each person who signs up. That’s why seating is limited. September 10th is when registration closes. Please visit my landing page HERE to find out if the class is right for you or your direct reports.

I’m here to answer your questions and to share all the exciting details including that each participant will have a laser-focused 60-minute phone coaching session with me.  30 minutes when the class starts to set goals and discuss current conflicts and 30 minutes with me at the end of the class to make sure you reach your goals.

How Does the Motivational Quote Speak to You?

  • How has the pandemic changed you both positively and negatively?
  • What do you do to stay balanced during the light and dark of the pandemic?

I encourage you to reach out to me with questions about your own conflict resolution issues or for direct reports. Don’t worry, I will not sell you anything when you call! This master coach and communication strategist loves what I do and I care about clients and advocates.  My cell;  248.325.8101.

Have a GREAT Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

 

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My Favorite Conflict Resolution Skill to Use with Bullies

  • Do you want to use my favorite conflict resolution skill to gain control during tough conversations?
  • Are you ready to learn or relearn a communication strategy to use with bullies or others who push you?
  • If so, you are in the right place at this very moment. 😊

Communication woes plague professionals across the board: Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Conflict Resolution Skill #1:  Verbal Aikido

Rather than pushing back, getting even, or seething in silence, you can gain control of the situation and diplomatically deal with unkind people and behavior. The solution is called Verbal Aikido, and it’s a conflict resolution skill that won’t get you fired.

Conflict Resolution Skill:  A Definition of Verbal Aikido

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense that uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to conflict resolution skillcounter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker to create balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Conflict Resolution Skill:  Verbal Aikido Basics

The cardinal rule of this powerful conflict resolution skill is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

EXAMPLE:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusatory, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a verbal aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses, thus giving the other person nothing to push against.

EXAMPLE:

Suppose you’re giving constructive criticism to a male co-worker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming emotional and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. However, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

Stay Connected with Me

  • Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with bullies.
  • What stories or expressions help you?
  • You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂
  • You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work. more read here.

Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how executive or career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their virtual training on zoom. They all knew that their meetings were boring and wanted to change this.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new virtual learning skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Isn’t amazing how much drama occurs in the workplace?  It’s like it has it’s own reality TV show! 
If you can relate, it’s costing you BIG time!  I specialize in supporting  frustrated emerging leaders and business professions to kick conflict to the curb to get the respect and peace they deserve!

Find your voice with Joyce!

I would love to work with you!

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our knowledge base bullying in the workplace here.

Until next time, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Have a great week.

Rememer, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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