Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Working With a Jerk: Story #3

mean man pointing fingerThis is the 3rd article on the topic Working With a Jerk.  There will be more stories on this topic because my readers have been sending me private messages describing their experiences.  I have enough examples to cover 6 months of articles!  You will receive more examples along with the other topics on resolving conflict in the workplace.  Are you ready for this week’s true story?  I hope so because it is another unbelievable one.

Janis and her mom work together in a mid sized company.  Jim is a colleague of theirs and is known for his sarcastic and biting words.  Janis, her mom and Jim were talking at lunch when Jim pointed his finger at Janis and said,  “Janis your hair cut suits you and your outfits are very professional…not like your mom’s outfits.”  Did you catch your breath?  Yes, this did actually happen!

I have four questions for you:

1.  What would you say to Jim if you were Janis?

2.  What would you say to Jim if you were Janis’ mother?

3.  What would you do if you were Jim’s boss and you heard this conversation?

4.  What story do you have about working for a jerk? 

I want to hear from you! 🙂

Click HERE to tell me how you would react and what you would say. 

Joyce, What Do You Think?

If I were Janis I would step back after the shock wore off and say something.  We don’t always have to say things immediately.  It is smart to back off and plan a strategy at times.  “I was caught off guard” is my favorite phrase to use when I speak to someone the next day. 
“Jim, I was caught off guard when I heard those mean comments about my mom when she was standing right next to us.  My mom and I were surprised about such insensitive words.”  This way you are setting up a boundary for Jim and “hopefully” he will think before he opens up his mouth again.  If he repeats his insensitive comments, I would do my best to stay away from him.  He will chose someone else to ridicule.

Click HERE if you want to read Working With a Jerk story #1.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Click HERE if you want to read Working With a Jerk story #1.

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This Will Give You Control of Narcissists in Your Life

Copy (2) of photos from juicer 029Last week I wrote an article on “What Happens When You Work With a Narcissist?”  Click Here if you did not read it or want to review the ideas.  A few of you sent me private emails with questions on how to handle this personality disorder.  This post gives you strategies.  I can’t guarantee that they will work.  That’s right, you read this correctly.  Narcissists range from selfish to borderline disorders.  At times I have been very frustrated with narcissists in my own life.  I did research on this subject and am happy to report that I know how to handle myself MOST of the time.  Are you ready to find out? 

Coping Guidelines

Recognize when you are with someone who repeatedly evokes shame, anger, and idealizes others. You can then figure out your next step

  • Try not to personalize since they act the same with others
  • Detach yourself while functioning either at work/home to have peace of mind
  • Think of the narcissist as a 2 year old on the inside
  • Resist retaliation, confrontation, or open communication because they will show rage and feel assaulted
  • You won’t change the narcissist since they don’t have compassion for others
  • Plan ahead on how to set boundaries since they excel at the control game
  • Find others who can support you
  • Be prepared for changes in the relationship if you decide to speak with them
  • They will distance themselves from you and find others to control
  • Limit your involvement with them if possible
  • Document abuses and excuses for your own record to protect yourself since narcissists don’t recognize their boundary issues
  • Set your own priorities without being manipulated and stop adapting to them
  • Awareness will not change the reality but it changes your perspective
  • Don’t feel guilty for taking care of your health

… [Continue reading]

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Are You The Family’s Truth Teller?

cartoon women boxing in long dressesClients and friends ask me how I can be as bold as I am with some of the examples that I share with them.  I realized years ago that most people don’t know how to resolve conflict in the workplace or home.  I see people letting things fester because they don’t have the skills or fear what will happen if they open up their mouth!  It has taken me YEARS of practice, making mistakes, making more mistakes, taking classes, reading, and gaining the respect by others and mainly for myself.

At times my family asks me why I need to be the family’s truth teller.  I tell them what Forrest Gump said when someone asked him what he was going to be, “Aren’t I going to be me?”  Believe me when I tell you that I’m not ALWAYS the bold one.  There are times when I actually hold back because the timing is not the best, or I may be tired and not full of my creative juices for that moment.  BUT, when I see things that need to be said, in a positive way, you better believe that I point these things out to clients, friends and family.  It is not always easy but I get a great night’s sleep because I don’t constantly think about unresolved issues.

This post contains quotes from people who you will recognize about this very topic.  I do hope that they will give your the courage to either speak up or hold back if you are one of the aggressive communicators. 🙂 … [Continue reading]

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Powerful Presentation Skills Secrets From a 13 Year Old

dylan bm at BTDo you want to…

  • Get a standing ovation at your next speech?
  • Feel more confident at your own presentation?
  • Earn the respect that you deserve?
  • Have fun during your presentation?

If you answered “yes” to any of these important stress producers, then you are in the right place!  This blog post will show you EASY ways to create a speech that your audience will appreciate and that you will actually enjoy.

I had the honor of being my grandson’s tutor for his Bar Mitzvah speech.  The portion that I helped Dylan with was in English.  The Temple asked me to help him since I am a keynote presenter and consultant who writes my own material.  I jumped at the chance and didn’t realize that this  experience was going to be such a highlight in my life.  Many of my clients share that they create a lot of stress and conflict for themselves when they have to make a presentation.  Believe me they are NOT alone! 

It took us over a year to do the research and develop Dylan’s paper. 
He had to find 2 heroes that represented his values.  Dylan selected Simcha Blass (the Israeli inventor of drip irrigation) and Salva Dut (who develops wells in South Sudan with his project “Water for South Sudan.)  Dylan thought that we were almost done.  Here is where the fun began!  Please try these tips when you develop your own speech. 

I asked Dylan to read his speech out loud.  He did and like any good coach I asked him, “What did you like about your presentation and where can you improve?”  His answer was perfect when he said, “I liked the content but I was bored when I read it out loud.” 

We usually fall in love with our words of wisdom which is good.  The first step is to create an interesting speech.  I find that most people miss the second step…which is delivery.  Think of a time when you heard a speaker and you bored out of your mind.  The content was probably good BUT it is all about delivery. The delivery part of the project took 6 months.  We immediately fixed the part where he was bored. 

Here are the secrets on why he received a standing ovation:

  • We placed the symbols >>> where he needed to pause
  • We highlighted the areas where there was humor and placed a 🙂  at the end of the sentence so he would smile.  This gave a hint to the audience and sure enough they laughed during these great moments
  • We underlined words that needed emphasis
  • We marked sentences where he needed to lower his voice
  • We found stories in his own life so the audience could relate

He worked on this part for weeks and guess what happened?  His presentation was not only informative, humorous, and delivered like a professional…he also received a standing ovation.  This is not typical when a 13 year old gives a speech!

What can we all learn from this? 

  • Be yourself and make sure to add humor in your speech.  I’m not talking about jokes!
  • Decide where you need to slow down, emphasize words, and lower your voice.
  • Add stories from your own experience.  I don’t care what topic you are speaking about because this personalizes your ideas.
  • Prepare, prepare and prepare so your audience thinks that you are relaxed and an expert.

    The experience that Dylan and I had was priceless.  The lessons that we both learned were amazing.  I hope that these ideas will help you create future speeches that will reduce stress and conflict for you.  Please feel free to ask me questions about your own presentation skills.  I look forward to answering your questions.  If you need another pair of eyes to see how you can improve your speech, please feel free to contact me. 

 Was this helpful?
Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post. Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress… who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.
Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 PS  If you want to learn how to Communicate with Impact please read this description about a powerful On-Line Master Communication Course.  The course will teach you how to improve your communication at meetings, deal with bullies and negative people, and reduce conflict in the workplace.  Feel free to call me for more details on how I will be your coach for 2 months.  The course only requires a few minutes of work per day.  Call today (800.713.1926) to start improving your communication so you can earn the respect that you deserve!

 

 

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Employee Engagement Rocks!

cartoon booste office moraleI just attended a very productive few days at the
MI Lean Consortium Conference in Traverse City MI.
I will be sharing some of the “gems” that I learned in the next few blog posts.

LEAN Thinking: Eliminate waste and maximize profits

Andy Dillon, State of MI Treasurer was one of the keynote speakers.

He told us how MI has saved money and increased productivity by using LEAN concepts.

Here are key ideas from his speech:

  • People do things wrong for so long that they don’t know if the system is broken
  • Know your weaknesses and hire people who can fill those gaps
  • Everyone needs to be trained in LEAN in order for it to be successful
  • Leaders not only have to buy into the LEAN concepts…they have to be part of the change

Mr. Dillon and his team spoke to numerous state employees and REALLY heard what was needed
to get more employee engagement. As a result morale and productivity went up after employees
had a chance to share ideas on how to improve things for both citizens and themselves.

The idea is…don’t ask for input unless you will do something about it!

You may be wondering…Joyce, what is your interest in LEAN Thinking?
Once there is change, there is conflict.
I will be assisting LEAN consultants on how to manage conflict.

It takes a while for people to like and understands LEAN thinking.
There will always be the naysayers who complain and try to derail the process.
LEAN consultants use several tools to help change and I will help make the process move forward.

I will be learning about the concepts and start taking courses through the MI Lean Consortium
because I see such value and the results are over whelming.

Please share if you use LEAN Thinking concepts and how they have helped.
Also share frustrations that you have experienced and we can start an interesting conversation
on how to move forward.

Below is a link to the Mi Lean Consortium.
Their philosophy is “Making MI the Benchmark for Economic Success.”
Michigan Lean Consortium website

 Was this helpful?

Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post.
Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.

There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their
working condition or home life.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS  Check out my short interview on The Leaning Edge Radio Show about
communicating ideas between employees and ways to eliminate wasteful
conversations with host and MLC Chair, Debra Levantrosser.  
The Leaning Edge Radio Show with Debra and Joyce

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831