Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Are We Biased “Thinking that We Know” Our Blind Spots? A Funny Story

The Importance of Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

Science has proven that we all have a blind spot bias and that many of us aren’t aware of this. Of course, this has negative consequences. Because at times we don’t listen to the feedback from others when they share their opinion about our blind spots. We are certain that we know our story – no blind spots.

Blind Spots are 2 words that coaches love using. It’s an important aspect to uncover blind spots for clients and ourselves too!

The Johari Window is a coaching tool that is still powerful today. Part of the Johari Window is knowing your blind spots. It’s so much fun when we get together in small teams and do this exercise. People are shocked that they didn’t see their own blind spot until a team member pointed it out in the exercise.  There are some people who deny them. That’s another blog post, I’m sure.

The story below happened at a restaurant when I was dining with friends. We were talking with our waiter, Claud, and the story’s conclusion was better than a dark chocolate dessert!

Here we go with another TRUE story.

Story:  Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

I gave my waiter, Claud a compliment stating that our friends enjoyed having him serve us. He thanked us and added some details to the complement. This is what he said, “Thanks. I’m training the new waiter because he stays at the customer’s table way too long. And gives guests so many details about his background in the food industry. I’ve told him that there is a fine line in being friendly and overbearing.”

Claud’s comments made sense. Until – he came back and spent 10 minutes talking to us about his resume. Are you ready for more? He brought over a chair and decided to join us while he was talking.

You may think that this is a nice moment in fine dining.

Claud had a blind spot. No, I didn’t point it out to him. He didn’t see that his actions were exactly what he was training the new waiter not to do.

Lesson About Knowing Our Blind Spots

We all have a bias about our blind spots. The lucky people who are in deep and trusting relationships or who learn from a coach benefit from this feedback.  Because they understand the importance of going deep and discovering blind spots.

Claud just told us about his mentee and how he was training him. Claud didn’t see the irony of his story.

We have to admit to ourselves that our reality is only one of the many realities that exist.

It’s important to be open to others who are brave enough to share their opinions. This may be a golden opportunity for your professional or personal growth.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What are some of your blind spots? Let’s celebrate that you know these and had the courage to go deep!

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call HERE

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach

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Powerful Presentation Skills Secrets From a 13 Year Old

dylan bm at BTDo you want to…

  • Get a standing ovation at your next speech?
  • Feel more confident at your own presentation?
  • Earn the respect that you deserve?
  • Have fun during your presentation?

If you answered “yes” to any of these important stress producers, then you are in the right place!  This blog post will show you EASY ways to create a speech that your audience will appreciate and that you will actually enjoy.

I had the honor of being my grandson’s tutor for his Bar Mitzvah speech.  The portion that I helped Dylan with was in English.  The Temple asked me to help him since I am a keynote presenter and consultant who writes my own material.  I jumped at the chance and didn’t realize that this  experience was going to be such a highlight in my life.  Many of my clients share that they create a lot of stress and conflict for themselves when they have to make a presentation.  Believe me they are NOT alone! 

It took us over a year to do the research and develop Dylan’s paper. 
He had to find 2 heroes that represented his values.  Dylan selected Simcha Blass (the Israeli inventor of drip irrigation) and Salva Dut (who develops wells in South Sudan with his project “Water for South Sudan.)  Dylan thought that we were almost done.  Here is where the fun began!  Please try these tips when you develop your own speech. 

I asked Dylan to read his speech out loud.  He did and like any good coach I asked him, “What did you like about your presentation and where can you improve?”  His answer was perfect when he said, “I liked the content but I was bored when I read it out loud.” 

We usually fall in love with our words of wisdom which is good.  The first step is to create an interesting speech.  I find that most people miss the second step…which is delivery.  Think of a time when you heard a speaker and you bored out of your mind.  The content was probably good BUT it is all about delivery. The delivery part of the project took 6 months.  We immediately fixed the part where he was bored. 

Here are the secrets on why he received a standing ovation:

  • We placed the symbols >>> where he needed to pause
  • We highlighted the areas where there was humor and placed a 🙂  at the end of the sentence so he would smile.  This gave a hint to the audience and sure enough they laughed during these great moments
  • We underlined words that needed emphasis
  • We marked sentences where he needed to lower his voice
  • We found stories in his own life so the audience could relate

He worked on this part for weeks and guess what happened?  His presentation was not only informative, humorous, and delivered like a professional…he also received a standing ovation.  This is not typical when a 13 year old gives a speech!

What can we all learn from this? 

  • Be yourself and make sure to add humor in your speech.  I’m not talking about jokes!
  • Decide where you need to slow down, emphasize words, and lower your voice.
  • Add stories from your own experience.  I don’t care what topic you are speaking about because this personalizes your ideas.
  • Prepare, prepare and prepare so your audience thinks that you are relaxed and an expert.

    The experience that Dylan and I had was priceless.  The lessons that we both learned were amazing.  I hope that these ideas will help you create future speeches that will reduce stress and conflict for you.  Please feel free to ask me questions about your own presentation skills.  I look forward to answering your questions.  If you need another pair of eyes to see how you can improve your speech, please feel free to contact me. 

 Was this helpful?
Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post. Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress… who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.
Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 PS  If you want to learn how to Communicate with Impact please read this description about a powerful On-Line Master Communication Course.  The course will teach you how to improve your communication at meetings, deal with bullies and negative people, and reduce conflict in the workplace.  Feel free to call me for more details on how I will be your coach for 2 months.  The course only requires a few minutes of work per day.  Call today (800.713.1926) to start improving your communication so you can earn the respect that you deserve!

 

 

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Do You Live With or Work with A Generation Y? Understanding Different Generations in the Workplace

If so, this blog post if just for you.
Generation Y was born between 1981-1995.

I had the privilege of being the keynote speaker at the Jump Start program for freshmen at Oakland University in Rochester MI.

There were 200 eager freshmen waiting to learn how they can become involved as future leaders during their stay at Oakland University.

Thanks to Chris Jensen (Assistant Director of Leadership and Service) and Meaghan Walter (Graduate Assistant for Leadership Development & First Year Programs) who coordinated & planned the most impressive Jump Start Program.

They made all 200 students feel extremely welcome and important.  The enthusiasm continued throughout the entire day.  It’s a good thing for Vitamin C and caffeine!

Both Chris and Meaghan helped me plan my portion of the program to make sure that it would be a success.
I thank both of them for their important input to help us achieve a most successful project together.

Joyce with Meaghan Walter and Chris Jensen

We started out the session discussing how these young men and women have the world in their hands.
Each one can make a difference due to their desire to share their uniqueness with the world.

The millennial generation…or generation Y has been given many choices.
They want to become active in making the world a better place.

We had a very energetic discussion on the meaning of success.
We discussed that money is good and a hot career is important.
We also discussed that their unique talents will make the true mark in this world.

They all shared their unique skills and talents that they brought to Oakland University.
This was truly book material!

We then discussed the 4 NEW WORK REALITIES which contained information on my experience dealing with conflict in the workplace between employers and employees.
I helped them discover what to expect when they graduate to prepare for their career development.

Work Reality #1:
Generation Y is Both Colliding and Clicking with Gen X, Baby Boomers, & Traditionalists.

Generation Y:  Millennials want to express themselves and their unique gifts.
They are on the move because they see many opportunities that are offered to them.

Other generations watch Gen Y change jobs and see this as a lack of work ethic.
This generation may be finding a better job that fits their skills and talents better.

Each generation has its own positive contributions.
All generations need to be ready to collaborate with each other and discuss challenges openly and respectively.

Here’s a question for you…
How do you think other generations feel about your own generation?

Are these assumptions accurate or generalizations?  The same goes for all generations.

Different equals different.
Different does not equal wrong!

Work Reality # 2:
Commit Fully to Your Education

Commitment …

  • Is a gift that you can give to yourself
  • Empowers you
  • Brings out your very best potential
  • Makes you a more valuable student and future employee

I’ve noticed that people who do whatever it takes to get the job done…

  • Seem to be fulfilled in their life
  • Become experts in their field
  • Understand that “just doing my job” is a sign of mediocrity

I have a question for you…
How are you showing your commitment to be the best at what you do at school or at work?

Work Reality #3:
Constantly Learn

Lifelong learning is the only way to remain competitive.
This relentless drive to acquire new skills & stay informed creates enthusiasm in what you do.

Here is another question for you…
What is the best class that you ever took and why?

The answer may reveal some important information on future training or exploration for you.

Work Reality #4:
Learn From Setbacks and Convert Challenges Into Success

I told the freshmen the following message:

“You won’t always do the right thing.
Maybe you didn’t do well in high school and Oakland University will be your fresh start.
You may get your first C in school or even fail a class.
Do you drop out or start over, learn and improve?

I know what I’m talking about.  Look what I do for a living.
Most people would rather die than give a speech.
Professional speakers face rejection every time they open their mouth.
Some people will not like the speaker’s message, sound of their voice, pattern of their business suit…etc.
I’ve become an expert in helping others turn their challenges into an opportunity due to my own work related challenges.”

Here are two more questions…
What challenge may be stopping you at this moment?
What do you need to do to face the challenge in order to grow?

Failure is never final.
Success does not last forever!

We also discussed multitasking and balancing time between doing homework and having a social life.
Look for these tips from the keynote speech Take the Ride of Your Life in a future blog.

Check out these video testimonials from 3 very bright and positive future leaders at Oakland University.
I enjoyed my time with each and every student and look forward to hearing about their continued success!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8jc2V3y2vs[/youtube] [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyThps1rhKo[/youtube] [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tipTgtj_tBM[/youtube]

Share this blog with your own Gen Y and let me know the result of your communication.
I love staying in touch with my loyal readers!

Was this helpful?

Let us hear your thoughts about your own experiences with different generations.

Feel free to share these tips with your team-just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.

Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

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Until next time

Remember, You GET What YOU Tolerate!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant & Accountability Coach

 

 

 

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New Facts About Stress to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

The MI Insurance  Accounting and Systems Association (IASA) asked me to present a keynote speech on my signature program…Take the Ride of Your Life (Shift Gears for More Balance, Growth and Joy).  IASA offers members continuing professional education, conferences, publications and seminars.   The members were open to learning new facts about stress to reduce conflict in the workplace.  We had an open dialogue.  They were an ideal group of people to work with on this subject.

I have included some of the main ideas for you to use for your own work/life balance and conflict issues.

  • Balance is important to all generations
    Work centric:  Those placing a higher priority on work than family.
    Family centric:  Those placing a higher priority on their family.
    Dual centric:  Those placing the same priority on their jobs/family.
  • Understand how each generation views their work life balance differently.  Discuss these differences in meetings.
  • Making time for ourselves is a necessity…not a luxury.
  • Set boundaries in order to make time for the things you want to do.
  • Include work/life balance in your mission statement.
  • Acting like a victim or blaming others will not make positive change.  The idea is to look at life differently.
    Remember, you get what you tolerate!
  • There is good news and bad news about burnout
    The bad news is that we allow burnout to wear us down.
    The good news is that is is time for us to make changes in our life when we start burning out.

Please let me know if you want  more information on this program.
Let me know if you want me to call you to discuss how we can bring this topic to your team… to improve conflict the workplace.

Check out Michelle Goss, an IASA audience member share ideas she learned from the  Take the Ride of Your Life Program:

 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB9yh2QWCnU[/youtube]

What is your most pressing issue about stress in your life?  Please let me know since I enjoy connecting to my readers.

Was this helpful?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment box below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team – just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on conflict in the workplace.

For more information, articles, and podcasts, visit https://www.Joyceweiss.com

Until the next time…Remember…YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE!
Joyce Weiss
Conflict Resolution Consultant & Accountability Coach

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Reduce Conflict in the Workplace by Creating Strong Teams

I recently had the honor of being the keynote speaker for the MI Health Information Management Association (MHIMA) on the topic of Reducing Conflict in the Workplace by Creating Strong Teams.  Their theme was Soaring Higher, Faster, Stronger…Through Team Synergy.  A special thanks goes to April Martin and Marsha Allen for bringing me back and to Ginny Pitts and Denise Holstege for some great input from their interviews.

MHIMA members are dedicated to the effective management of personal health information needed to deliver quality healthcare in the public.

  • Advancing data accuracy
  • Advocating confidentiality
  • Championing new technology

Hopefully the following tips that I presented to the members can provide you with strategies to help you build strong teams:

  • The Johari Window Exercise is still an effective tool to take down barriers … improving communication skills
    1. Discuss the Arena:  Things I know about me, you know about me
    2. Discuss the Potential:  Things we don’t know about each other
    3. Discover Blind Spots:  You know about me, I don’t know about myself
    4. Remove the Facade/Mask:  Things I know about myself that you don’t
  • Ask the important question…What do you bring to the team?  Are you …
    1.  A Creator:  Endless ideas, energy, confidence, enthusiasm?
    2.  An Advancer:  Energy, promote ideas, excitement, some control, persistence, organization, make ideas real?
    3.  A Refiner:  Find flaws, willing to challenge, pushes toward completion, likes research and details?
    4.  An Executor:  Step by step you get the job done, thorough, good process thinker?
    We need creators, advancers, refiners, and executors to create strong teams and reduce conflict in the workplace!
  • Esprit de Corps happens when…
    1.  Each person is committed to each others success
    2.  The team supports each other during up and down times
    3.  The team does what ever it takes to succeed 

    If you have questions on any of these tips please feel free to call (800.713.1926) or email:  Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

    Check out the short video below:

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMNME6gS2EU[/youtube]

 

What is your most pressing issue about creating strong teams?
Was this helpful?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment box below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team – just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.

Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

For more information, articles and podcasts… visit https://www.JoyceWeiss.com

Until our next visit…Remember that YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE!

Joyce Weiss
Conflict in the Workplace Consultant

 

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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