This is the 3rd article on the topic Working With a Jerk. There will be more stories on this topic because my readers have been sending me private messages describing their experiences. I have enough examples to cover 6 months of articles! You will receive more examples along with the other topics on resolving conflict in the workplace. Are you ready for this week’s true story? I hope so because it is another unbelievable one.
Janis and her mom work together in a mid sized company. Jim is a colleague of theirs and is known for his sarcastic and biting words. Janis, her mom and Jim were talking at lunch when Jim pointed his finger at Janis and said, “Janis your hair cut suits you and your outfits are very professional…not like your mom’s outfits.” Did you catch your breath? Yes, this did actually happen!
I have four questions for you:
1. What would you say to Jim if you were Janis?
2. What would you say to Jim if you were Janis’ mother?
3. What would you do if you were Jim’s boss and you heard this conversation?
4. What story do you have about working for a jerk?
I want to hear from you! 🙂
Click HERE to tell me how you would react and what you would say.
Joyce, What Do You Think?
If I were Janis I would step back after the shock wore off and say something. We don’t always have to say things immediately. It is smart to back off and plan a strategy at times. “I was caught off guard” is my favorite phrase to use when I speak to someone the next day.
“Jim, I was caught off guard when I heard those mean comments about my mom when she was standing right next to us. My mom and I were surprised about such insensitive words.” This way you are setting up a boundary for Jim and “hopefully” he will think before he opens up his mouth again. If he repeats his insensitive comments, I would do my best to stay away from him. He will chose someone else to ridicule.
Click HERE if you want to read Working With a Jerk story #1.
I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”
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A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
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Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.
Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!
See YOU Next Week.
Click HERE if you want to read Working With a Jerk story #1.
Mira Sankari says
Ok Joyce ,so I’m an 80s baby, I communicate through txt all the time and I think it’s great. As far as the people I love , family , close friends I make sure to still call the or FaceTime them. I as well have many young clients that have such a hard time communicating with me. I agree, Txt messaging gives you time to think and edit .What you do in an interview, conflict , or even In a sudden event where you have to on the spot comfort someone with words? Perhaps a limit on txt messages sent per day per phone? I love talking to people , reacting to to things with them , nothing is better than having a soul connection through conversing . before 80s and early 90s were all safe – the rest you ……. – MIRA
Mira Sankari says
Joyce, I had a very similar situation happen to me and in the moment I was frozen. I didn’t reply to person who made a Nasty comment. I look back and wish I would have redirected what was said into a question. Now every time I see this person we ignore each other and it’s awkward . I hate that . I still want to ask ” what did you mean when you said this and why”? I feel no closure , just us avoiding each other. If there were ever a time we spoke again , I feel it would be fake and I’d lose dignity. MIRA
Joyce Weiss says
Mira, it must be very uncomfortable for you when you see this person. I agree that at this point it probably is better for you NOT to say anything. The good news is that in the future if you have another tough communication with this person you can start off with…”I was caught off guard when we spoke a few weeks ago, what did you mean when you said…?” I realize that it may be too late to continue this conversation. You now know what to do in the future. I appreciate your responses and look forward to more in the future!
Joyce Weiss says
Mira, you are a wise woman! The fact that you know that text works well for you is great especially that you also use Face Time or even make a call! I find it interesting that your young clients have a difficult time communicating with you. This will be a real issue in their future for the reasons that you expressed in your response. What will they do when they have to deal with a tough conversation or speak up for themselves? I do what I can to get this idea across when I work with younger clients…not sounding like their parents, just a good friend giving them options for their communication. Thanks again for your interesting ideas. I look forward to more from you in the future.