Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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March 29, 2015 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

This 1 Idea Will Reduce Negative Behavior

conflict sign be nice or leaveI recently watched a hearing between the Secret Service Director and Congress. It was extremely heated and I knew that I was going to write about this interaction in a future article. Let me refresh your memory. A few agents drank alcohol at a retirement party. After leaving the party, they crashed their car into the white house. It was on international news for several days.

Congress asked important and tough questions to the Secret Service Director and he repeatedly skirted all issues. Congressmen and women actually said, “What are you going to do about it?” The Director said, “I first need to get all of the facts.” Several members of Congress said the same thing, “Why not fire the agents on the spot? You need to make the hard decisions.” The Director was very nervous and it almost sounded like he was covering up the “real story.”

The bottom line is that there was a huge communication breakdown in the Department. Supposedly the Director did not hear about this incident for a few days. I ask the question, why didn’t he hear about this sooner?

Reasons why there are communication breakdowns:

  • Fear of retribution
  • Covering-up for each other
  • Dysfunctional cultural barriers
  • The wrong fit for roles and job responsibilities
  • Not knowing who to go to for answers
  • Unclear expectations
  • Too much red tape

We still don’t know the facts about this embarrassing situation. There have been several mistakes in the last few years and it is obvious that leadership is weak. … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: Coaching as a Leader, Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace, Great Leaders, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, effective communication, improving communication skills, trust

March 1, 2015 By Joyce Weiss 2 Comments

This Will Give You Control of Narcissists in Your Life

Copy (2) of photos from juicer 029Last week I wrote an article on “What Happens When You Work With a Narcissist?”  Click Here if you did not read it or want to review the ideas.  A few of you sent me private emails with questions on how to handle this personality disorder.  This post gives you strategies.  I can’t guarantee that they will work.  That’s right, you read this correctly.  Narcissists range from selfish to borderline disorders.  At times I have been very frustrated with narcissists in my own life.  I did research on this subject and am happy to report that I know how to handle myself MOST of the time.  Are you ready to find out? 

Coping Guidelines

Recognize when you are with someone who repeatedly evokes shame, anger, and idealizes others. You can then figure out your next step

  • Try not to personalize since they act the same with others
  • Detach yourself while functioning either at work/home to have peace of mind
  • Think of the narcissist as a 2 year old on the inside
  • Resist retaliation, confrontation, or open communication because they will show rage and feel assaulted
  • You won’t change the narcissist since they don’t have compassion for others
  • Plan ahead on how to set boundaries since they excel at the control game
  • Find others who can support you
  • Be prepared for changes in the relationship if you decide to speak with them
  • They will distance themselves from you and find others to control
  • Limit your involvement with them if possible
  • Document abuses and excuses for your own record to protect yourself since narcissists don’t recognize their boundary issues
  • Set your own priorities without being manipulated and stop adapting to them
  • Awareness will not change the reality but it changes your perspective
  • Don’t feel guilty for taking care of your health

… [Continue reading]

Filed Under: Articles on Stress, Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace
Tagged With: Communication, conflict in the workplace, effective communication, how to improve communication skills, improving communication skills, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues

February 22, 2015 By Joyce Weiss 4 Comments

What Happens When You Work with a Narcissist?

Do you experience some of the situations at work or home when the same person…conflict girl pointing finger

  • Always has drama in his or her life?
  • Constantly criticizes others and never accepts responsibility?
  • Shows anger if he or she doesn’t get his or her way…just like a 2 year old child?
  • Takes up your time only with their issues and impedes your boundaries?

If so you may be working or living with a narcissist. This person is a tough one to work with and is always a challenge for participants in my Resolving Conflict in the Workplace Trainings. My clients have tried to deal with the selfish and critical team player with no success. I tell them that this disorder is one that some people NEVER are able to figure out and resolve issues. It is worth the effort to look for options in order to make your life easier. 🙂

Description of the Narcissist Personality Disorder

You will learn the characteristics in this blog post. Next week you will discover how to deal with them.

Most narcissists don’t exhibit all of the characteristics described in this article. 1 in 100 exhibit all these descriptions according to the American Psychiatric Association. Recognize when you are with someone who repeatedly evokes shame, anger, or idealizes others. You can then figure out your next step to protect yourself. Try NOT to personalize since they treat others the same way!

  1. Narcissist injury or intense sensitivity to shame
    They don’t experience shame and things are never their fault. They feel assaulted and will show rage and blame others. Please do your best to resist confrontation until you read next weeks suggestions.
  2. Devaluation of others
    Their charm draws others into their web until they drop their victim abruptly. They repair themselves by criticizing others.
  3. Envy
    They never admit that they are envious of others and feel self righteous and contempt with their colleagues or relatives. They are actually VERY insecure.
  4. Entitlement
    Their feelings and needs are all that matters. There’s no room for negotiation or reciprocity. They feel rage if they don’t get their way…just like a 2 year old.
  5. Violation of your boundaries…detach yourself
    They don’t know when they are being too personal or invasive since everything evolves around their schedules or interests. Start documenting their excuses and abuses to protect yourself since they don’t recognize that they have boundary issues. Awareness will not change the reality but it changes YOUR perspective.

Click Here to share your experiences about this challenging behavior. What kind of personality do these people have and what challenges do you find when dealing with them?

Joyce Recommends a Very Helpful Book on Narcissists

If I have peaked your interest and want to learn more information, I suggest that you read Why is Everything Always About You? Sandy Hotchkiss does an excellent job giving suggestions on how to cope with this tough individual. Look for more information next week giving you concrete suggestions on dealing with a narcissist who you may work with or live with at home.

Click Here if YOU want to read an article on Powerful Tips to Get Rid of Drainers!

I want to hear from you!

Click Here to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please Click Here to Leave a Comment or Question

Please send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Click Here if YOU want to read an article on Powerful Tips to Get Rid of Drainers!

 

Filed Under: Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace, Dealing with Complainers, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace
Tagged With: Conflict and Resolution Specialist, effective communication, how to improve communication skills, improving communication skills, relationships, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues

January 18, 2015 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Talk to Both Star and Sub-Par Employees

  • Do you find yourself having the same conversations with mediocre or low productive employees… and see no results?
  • Have you ignored your star employees by spending too much time trying to solve problems with your sub-par team members?
  • Do you want to learn proven strategies on how to engage your entire team? get new employees

Below you will find 3 different conversations to have with your team:
     High Performance
     Middle Performance
     Low Performance

ClickHere to read my article on Powerful Secrets to Be a Great Coach

High Performance Conversations

1.  Tell them where the organization and the department is going.
2.  Thank them for their work.
3.  Outline why they are so important.
4.  Find out how you can support them with career planning or training possibilities in the future. … [Continue reading]

Filed Under: Coaching as a Leader, Communication, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Continuous Improvement
Tagged With: career development, Coaching as a Leader, effective communication, improving communication skills

January 11, 2015 By Joyce Weiss 1 Comment

How NOT to Think Like Van Gogh

Van Gogh's Olive Trees

As you know, I usually write about Conflict in the Workplace.  This post is about inner conflict that we all experience at times.  I was inspired to write about this topic after reading an autobiography about my favorite artist – Vincent Van Gogh called “Dear Theo.”  The book contains letters to Vincent’s brother Theo.  It is a difficult book to read because you experience Vincent’s mental illness and internal demons.  You will find quotes from the book below.

I meet people daily who don’t know how to live their life to the fullest. My 2nd book, Take the Ride of Your Life contains stories and examples from my own life how important it is to live life BIG. This is one of the reasons why I continue my quest to help others become bold and speak their mind if and when others try to suck out their individualism with toxic behavior.

… [Continue reading]

Filed Under: Articles on Stress, bullying in the workplace, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Continuous Improvement
Tagged With: improving communication skills, personal development, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues

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Phone: 248-681-5831

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