Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Are We Biased “Thinking that We Know” Our Blind Spots? A Funny Story

The Importance of Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

Science has proven that we all have a blind spot bias and that many of us aren’t aware of this. Of course, this has negative consequences. Because at times we don’t listen to the feedback from others when they share their opinion about our blind spots. We are certain that we know our story – no blind spots.

Blind Spots are 2 words that coaches love using. It’s an important aspect to uncover blind spots for clients and ourselves too!

The Johari Window is a coaching tool that is still powerful today. Part of the Johari Window is knowing your blind spots. It’s so much fun when we get together in small teams and do this exercise. People are shocked that they didn’t see their own blind spot until a team member pointed it out in the exercise.  There are some people who deny them. That’s another blog post, I’m sure.

The story below happened at a restaurant when I was dining with friends. We were talking with our waiter, Claud, and the story’s conclusion was better than a dark chocolate dessert!

Here we go with another TRUE story.

Story:  Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

I gave my waiter, Claud a compliment stating that our friends enjoyed having him serve us. He thanked us and added some details to the complement. This is what he said, “Thanks. I’m training the new waiter because he stays at the customer’s table way too long. And gives guests so many details about his background in the food industry. I’ve told him that there is a fine line in being friendly and overbearing.”

Claud’s comments made sense. Until – he came back and spent 10 minutes talking to us about his resume. Are you ready for more? He brought over a chair and decided to join us while he was talking.

You may think that this is a nice moment in fine dining.

Claud had a blind spot. No, I didn’t point it out to him. He didn’t see that his actions were exactly what he was training the new waiter not to do.

Lesson About Knowing Our Blind Spots

We all have a bias about our blind spots. The lucky people who are in deep and trusting relationships or who learn from a coach benefit from this feedback.  Because they understand the importance of going deep and discovering blind spots.

Claud just told us about his mentee and how he was training him. Claud didn’t see the irony of his story.

We have to admit to ourselves that our reality is only one of the many realities that exist.

It’s important to be open to others who are brave enough to share their opinions. This may be a golden opportunity for your professional or personal growth.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What are some of your blind spots? Let’s celebrate that you know these and had the courage to go deep!

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call HERE

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach

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Easy Secrets to Successfully Coach Your Team: Part 4

successfully coach your team |code of conduct |team coachingThe code of conduct is such an underused strategy to successfully coach your team.  The reason why it’s so powerful is that HR Professionals get buy-in from the team after everyone agrees to the “rules.”
The execution is easy.  Getting people to understand the importance is not so easy because it’s new for many people and it will create uncomfortable, yet necessary change.

This is part 4 in the 5 part series.  You will find parts 1-3 below to review or just in case you missed it.

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #1

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #2

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #3

Successfully Coach Your Team Secret #4:  The Code of Conduct is the Police Officer successfully coach your team |reduce conflict at work

You may need to have the following conversation when a team member breaks the code: 

“This is not about me attacking you. This is about following the code. We all agreed upon the code. I’m uncomfortable doing this yet I need to speak to you since it will benefit all of us. It is not about being mean or blaming you. It is about sticking to what we decided to do. What specifically do you need to understand the rules of the code of conduct?  I’m here for you to make sure you join the rest of us.”

This is a perfect time for HR Professionals to address accountability issues with an individual who is being difficult and refusing to follow the rules. 

Do you Need Support to Successfully Coach Your Team? 

Coaching skills take years to learn and practice.  A trained conflict resolution or communication coach knows how to successfully coach your team because of experience in the field.  If you answered “yes” to the question above, you don’t have to look very far for assistance.  I’m right here. 🙂  All you have to do is send me an email with your questions or concerns.  I will answer your questions and if you need more support, we can discuss coaching options that fit anyone’s time schedule.  I will send you a calendar link to set up a FREE 20-minute discovery call with you.

This 20-minute phone call is complimentary for my blog readers – how easy is that?

I Want to Hear From You

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

I work with human resource and business professionals so that they feel heard and respected which means they feel confident in tough conversations without losing their cool. 🙂

Until Next Time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media so other growth-minded people can control their inner stress.

P.P.S: You will find the links to Team Coaching Secrets #1-3 just in case you missed them:

 

 

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #1

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #2

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #3

 

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5 More Action Steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb

Hello, Dear Kick Conflict to the Curb Readers!

Are you ready for 5 more action steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb?

I hope that you’re using the strategies that you have been learning from these posts and videos and reducing your stress and drama at work and home!
If you have questions or need more details on any of the content, please reach out and send me an email:  HERE.  

This article is Part 2 in the series: 20 Action Steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb.
Here’s a link from Part 1 where you’ll find the first 5 strategies

The action steps come from creating content for my virtual class and coaching clients.  If you want more information on any of the action steps, do a search in the search bar on this site: JoyceWeiss.com.

Action Steps #6
Set up a Mentor Program Where All Generations Help Each Other Using Their Unique Talents, Skills, and Perspectives.

More seasoned employees can share their experience and the lessons learned from past mistakes.  Younger employees can support more experienced employees on how to look at situations through a different pair of eyes.  We can and do all grow professionally from each other if we only look at this as a great opportunity to learn from each other’s skills, talents, and experiences.

How does your company use the talents and skills of the team to get even better?

Action Steps #7
Encourage Gen Y and Gen X to Share Ideas Since They Bring a Fresh Perspective to the Team. action plans | communication strategies

This is a great time to stop blaming our generational differences and actually listen to all perspectives.

Younger employees can show others how to use new technical resources.
More experienced employees need to be open and stop saying negative things about “the younger generations.”  Just saying!

Action Steps #8
Ask All Generations to Help Each Other with Face-to-Face Communication and Social Networking Skills.

I see different factions in the workplace that complain about slowness, multi-tasking, being on tablets too much, or not having a work ethic.

Leaders who know how to make sure that everyone feels heard will see such great engagement and loyalty!  This stuff works.

Action Steps #9
Ask Your Team What Opportunities Will Open Up When Everyone is Accountable to Each Other.

A great exercise is to bring several departments together and discuss what each person needs from others to improve productivity, efficiency, morale, and communications.
A rule must be that it’s a FREE judgment zone.  Anyone can say anything as long as it’s with respect and not about being right – just expressing their thoughts.

Action Steps #10
Start a Discussion with Your Colleagues About What You and They’re Doing to Commit Fully to Their Job for an Interesting Discussion.

I find that when clients’ expectations are not clear, employees feel more stress and less confidence doing a good job. Everyone needs to know what his or her functions are in the job.
You may be thinking, “Joyce, this is common sense.  Of course, leaders need to be clear.”  Well, according to my clients, they’ve left jobs for this one reason.  They were tired of all the confusion and finger-pointing.

This one action step will make a huge difference for you if expectations are not clear.

Let’s Stay Connected!

What are some of your strategies with these action steps? Which one speaks to you?

  • What kind of mentorship do you offer?
  • How does your company make sure that all generations are respected and heard?
  • How does leadership make expectations clear for you?

Those of you who share either in the comment section below or send me an email HERE will receive a new video (that I have not posted yet) about using props to engage your virtual meetings. It’s short and contains tips to liven up your virtual meetings.

Continue being engaged as a Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly Update member and start sharing your thoughts about the videos or articles.
Hey, Dear Readers, I’m here for you when you have questions about your own communication or relationship “challenges.”

Feel free to send me an email. Full disclosure here:
I don’t charge anything when people send me questions or comments via email. Staying connected is what it’s all about for me.

Have a Great Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Career Advancement is like riding a bike: Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!

P.P.S. Here’s the link for Part 1 in the series with the first 5 action steps.

 

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This One Idea Will Reduce Negativity in the Workplace

Are you ready to read about one idea that will reduce negativity in the workplace?

A few years ago I watched a hearing between the Secret Service Director and Congress. It was extremely heated and I knew that I was going to write about this interaction in a future article. Let me refresh your memory. A few agents drank alcohol at a retirement party. After leaving the party, they crashed their car into the white house. It was on international news for several days.

Congress asked important and tough questions to the Secret Service Director and he repeatedly skirted all issues. Congressmen and women actually said, “What are you going to do about it?” The Director said, “I first need to get all of the facts.” Several members of Congress said the same thing, “Why not fire the agents on the spot? You need to make the hard decisions.” The Director was very nervous and it almost sounded like he was covering up the “real story.”

The bottom line is that there was a huge communication breakdown in the Department. Supposedly the Director did not hear about this incident for a few days. I ask the question, why didn’t he hear about this sooner?

Reasons why there is negativity in the workplace:bullies at work | communication challenge | negativity in the workplace

  • Fear of retribution
  • Covering-up for each other
  • Dysfunctional cultural barriers
  • The wrong fit for roles and job responsibilities
  • Not knowing who to go to for answers
  • Unclear expectations
  • Too much red tape

… [Continue reading]

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Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication – Big Time!

  • Are you ready to hear about new communication and coaching strategies?
  • Do you wonder if your communication patterns get you in trouble without even knowing it?
  • Would you like to know how you can get better results in your communication with just a minor tweak?
  • If so, this article can be a good step for your professional growth journey.

I’m a proud member of WBECS (World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit). Learning from the top master coaches and top communication gurus is something that I cherish.  The benefit for my readers and clients is that I share the BEST coaching strategies that they can put to use in their life. My clients who are taking our virtual communication course: Kick Conflict to the Curb: Get the Respect You Deserve benefit from the latest information that you will find in this article.

Michael Bungay Stanier shared his research for his book, Taming the Advice Monster with the 2000+ Master Coaches during his session. The content is compelling for people who have a growth mindset and know that the “best can only get better!” You are in this category because you signed up for our Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly Update, plus I know many of you who never stop learning.
Here we go. 🙂

Coaching Strategies #1: There are Three Types of Communication Categories

  1. Tell It
  2. Save It
  3. Control It

You’ll learn about Tell It in this article. Save It and Control It will be covered in the next two weeks. Make sure and read the next two articles to see which style seems more like you. We will go over all three styles so you can see how you can become a master communicator.

Coaching Strategies #2: Tell It Communication Challenges

  • Tell IT Communicators actually stop learning for the listener
  • Listening is nonexistent because the communicator tells others what to do
  • The listener has little confidence because the Tell It communicator only cares about talking and telling-there is no clear intent to support

Coaching Strategies #3:  Tell It Communication Benefits

Tell It Communicators:

  • Look brilliant
  • Save time because solutions are given and not discussed
  • Boost their ego while stopping others from growing

Coaching Strategies #4:  Tell It Communication Solutions

  • Stay curious and do your best to listen and not tell others what to do (this is NOT easy to do – BUT possible :))
  • Slow down your action and advice
  • See how this change in the Tell It Communication encourages self-growth and autonomy

Joyce What Do You Think About Tell It Communicators?

30+ years of coaching clients have shown me that we have many Tell It Communicators. Tell It Communicators are fortunate when their supervisor points out this communication weakness. Self-awareness is a great first step towards progress. The first question I ask new clients is “How do you see yourself as a communicator?” I share the 3 choices of Tell It, Save It, and Control It. At times we show all 3 communication styles. There is usually one choice that we use more often.

Full disclosure: My communication style is NOT Tell It. I will share mine as we continue this discussion for the next 2 weeks. 🙂

The good news is once we discover our communication style, we can then make important changes. Some of them are easy while others are not. I promise, there will be more information on these important
coaching strategies.

Let’s Hear From YOU

Let’s hear how you feel about these coaching strategies. Do you see Tell It Communicators in your workplace or home? If so, please share your awareness and how this communication style stifles creativity, trust, and growth. The comment section is working! It wasn’t for a few weeks until one of my loyal readers let us know.  Thanks! You can always send me a private email with questions or concerns about communication conflicts you are experiencing.

Let’s Stay Connected

Do you want to go deeper and grow professionally to your next level? If so, I have several coaching packages to fit anyone’s schedule and budget. I’d love to work with you.
Call: 800.713.1926
Text: 248.325.8101
Email; Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

For more information visit my coaching services HERE and let’s go Kick Conflict to the Curb together.  Coaching is also perfect for your direct reports, emerging leaders, and family members who you feel will benefit from working with me for only a few sessions. Clients find that we work hard and fast. My communication system is proven, trademarked, and so darn results-oriented. ;

Don’t take my word, read what a satisfied client has to say:

Joyce is committed to helping you achieve whatever goals you set for yourself. I am very pleased with the results that she has helped me to achieve in both my professional career and my personal life in just three months. It was a great experience working with Joyce and I absolutely recommend her!

– Yadira Batlle-Gomez, Generalist & Spanish Linguist

Have a Great Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

PS Remember, You get what you tolerate!

 

 

 

 

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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