Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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2 Ways to Effectively Deal with Passive-Aggressive Behavior | Video 1

Do you work or live with a person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior?
Are you ready to find out how to communicate with this person in a productive way?

If so this video below is just for you.

Several coaching clients have discussed their challenges dealing with passive/aggressive behavior with either family or colleagues.
I need to be clear that there is passive-aggressive behavior, not people.
This makes it less personable and more manageable.

Definition of Passive-Aggressive Behavior 

Passive-aggressive behavior is expressing negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them.
Additionally, they may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated. But they act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful. Plus they find indirect ways to show how they really feel.

Do these 3 examples sound familiar to you?

1. A girlfriend was mad at her boyfriend, Bruce. She didn’t tell him that she was upset.
Her passive-aggressive behavior was blasting the volume of the music which was unbearable for Bruce to hear.
Bruce is my client and we discussed this challenging behavior. He now realizes that he needs to speak directly to his girlfriend when she shows these tendencies.

2. An aunt said the following to her niece, Kate: “Kate, I like your new haircut because it makes your face slimmer.”
During our coaching session, Kate practiced how to answer her aunt in future conversations. Kate now understands this behavior. She communicates with her aunt directly and lets her know that comments about her weight are hurtful.

3. Lisa, An HR professional discussed her frustration with a direct report, Jim who was always late to meetings. We explored Jim’s passive-aggressive behavior.
Additionally, Lisa told Jim that he is not invited to future meetings because his behavior is demoralizing to the team. Jim was given one more chance and he caught on very quickly.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you?

Please comment on how you deal with passive-aggressive behavior in your life.

What are your questions about this frustrating condition?

Stay tuned for the next week’s video which will cover the reasons why people become passive-aggressive, coaching questions to ask them, and how to deal with them.

Thanks for watching

You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Let’s resolve any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.  

Let’s reduce your inner stress!

I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email to discover how easy this process is.

Here’s the link that describes packages that fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

Subscribe to my youtube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to get great results
You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Be Well and Happy!
Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

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Career Development Tips: Be Your Own Best Advocate |Video

Are you ready to discover career development tips to use for yourself or your direct reports?

Certified Professional Coach, Lori Shook presented the ideas I’m sharing in this video to the World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit.

So how can you help yourself or your direct reports discover how to be their own best advocate?
Here’s a possible strategy:  Discover their internal inner board of directors.

I have used the exercise with coaching clients and the results are stellar.

Human Resource clients consider me their partner: especially when they have no time to coach:

  • Emerging leaders to grow
  • Employees who need to use their voice without losing their cool
  • Managers who need to control difficult team members

The video below gives you ideas to get you started with this unique exercise. 

Here are EASY career development tips to help you identify your internal board of directors

I call this our internal wisdom.

We all have internal voices or characters that influence our behaviors. When we name them, we will be able to use them as resources.

There are NO good or bad board members. Some will be more useful than others at different times.

Here are several of the inner boards that my clients discovered:

  • The energizer
  • Frankenstein
  • Am I good enough?
  • Risk-averse
  • Cheerleader
  • Enjoy the journey
  • Leader
  • Controller

Start by asking these questions to add to your career development tips toolbox: 

  • What is an inner voice that you really trust?
  • Which inner characters help you succeed?
  • What are the inner impulses that get in your way in important situations?

Define your board of directors and give them a name

  • Which of your inner board will help you/hurt you/stop you?
  • Invite the board members you want to use more often
  • Find ways to manage the uninvited ones
  • Take ownership of your behaviors

Look for my video next week which will cover more ideas on your Inner Board.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you?

You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Let’s resolve any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.  

Here’s my calendar. 

Let’s reduce your inner stress!

Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email to discover how easy this process is.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

Subscribe to my youtube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to get great results

You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders, and so much more.

Thanks for reading and watching and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

 

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Are We Biased “Thinking that We Know” Our Blind Spots? A Funny Story

The Importance of Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

Science has proven that we all have a blind spot bias and that many of us aren’t aware of this. Of course, this has negative consequences. Because at times we don’t listen to the feedback from others when they share their opinion about our blind spots. We are certain that we know our story – no blind spots.

Blind Spots are 2 words that coaches love using. It’s an important aspect to uncover blind spots for clients and ourselves too!

The Johari Window is a coaching tool that is still powerful today. Part of the Johari Window is knowing your blind spots. It’s so much fun when we get together in small teams and do this exercise. People are shocked that they didn’t see their own blind spot until a team member pointed it out in the exercise.  There are some people who deny them. That’s another blog post, I’m sure.

The story below happened at a restaurant when I was dining with friends. We were talking with our waiter, Claud, and the story’s conclusion was better than a dark chocolate dessert!

Here we go with another TRUE story.

Story:  Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

I gave my waiter, Claud a compliment stating that our friends enjoyed having him serve us. He thanked us and added some details to the complement. This is what he said, “Thanks. I’m training the new waiter because he stays at the customer’s table way too long. And gives guests so many details about his background in the food industry. I’ve told him that there is a fine line in being friendly and overbearing.”

Claud’s comments made sense. Until – he came back and spent 10 minutes talking to us about his resume. Are you ready for more? He brought over a chair and decided to join us while he was talking.

You may think that this is a nice moment in fine dining.

Claud had a blind spot. No, I didn’t point it out to him. He didn’t see that his actions were exactly what he was training the new waiter not to do.

Lesson About Knowing Our Blind Spots

We all have a bias about our blind spots. The lucky people who are in deep and trusting relationships or who learn from a coach benefit from this feedback.  Because they understand the importance of going deep and discovering blind spots.

Claud just told us about his mentee and how he was training him. Claud didn’t see the irony of his story.

We have to admit to ourselves that our reality is only one of the many realities that exist.

It’s important to be open to others who are brave enough to share their opinions. This may be a golden opportunity for your professional or personal growth.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What are some of your blind spots? Let’s celebrate that you know these and had the courage to go deep!

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call HERE

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach

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Easy Secrets to Successfully Coach Your Team: Part 4

successfully coach your team |code of conduct |team coachingThe code of conduct is such an underused strategy to successfully coach your team.  The reason why it’s so powerful is that HR Professionals get buy-in from the team after everyone agrees to the “rules.”
The execution is easy.  Getting people to understand the importance is not so easy because it’s new for many people and it will create uncomfortable, yet necessary change.

This is part 4 in the 5 part series.  You will find parts 1-3 below to review or just in case you missed it.

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #1

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #2

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #3

Successfully Coach Your Team Secret #4:  The Code of Conduct is the Police Officer successfully coach your team |reduce conflict at work

You may need to have the following conversation when a team member breaks the code: 

“This is not about me attacking you. This is about following the code. We all agreed upon the code. I’m uncomfortable doing this yet I need to speak to you since it will benefit all of us. It is not about being mean or blaming you. It is about sticking to what we decided to do. What specifically do you need to understand the rules of the code of conduct?  I’m here for you to make sure you join the rest of us.”

This is a perfect time for HR Professionals to address accountability issues with an individual who is being difficult and refusing to follow the rules. 

Do you Need Support to Successfully Coach Your Team? 

Coaching skills take years to learn and practice.  A trained conflict resolution or communication coach knows how to successfully coach your team because of experience in the field.  If you answered “yes” to the question above, you don’t have to look very far for assistance.  I’m right here. 🙂  All you have to do is send me an email with your questions or concerns.  I will answer your questions and if you need more support, we can discuss coaching options that fit anyone’s time schedule.  I will send you a calendar link to set up a FREE 20-minute discovery call with you.

This 20-minute phone call is complimentary for my blog readers – how easy is that?

I Want to Hear From You

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

I work with human resource and business professionals so that they feel heard and respected which means they feel confident in tough conversations without losing their cool. 🙂

Until Next Time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media so other growth-minded people can control their inner stress.

P.P.S: You will find the links to Team Coaching Secrets #1-3 just in case you missed them:

 

 

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #1

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #2

Here’s the link to Team Coaching #3

 

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5 More Action Steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb

Hello, Dear Kick Conflict to the Curb Readers!

Are you ready for 5 more action steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb?

I hope that you’re using the strategies that you have been learning from these posts and videos and reducing your stress and drama at work and home!
If you have questions or need more details on any of the content, please reach out and send me an email:  HERE.  

This article is Part 2 in the series: 20 Action Steps to Kick Conflict to the Curb.
Here’s a link from Part 1 where you’ll find the first 5 strategies

The action steps come from creating content for my virtual class and coaching clients.  If you want more information on any of the action steps, do a search in the search bar on this site: JoyceWeiss.com.

Action Steps #6
Set up a Mentor Program Where All Generations Help Each Other Using Their Unique Talents, Skills, and Perspectives.

More seasoned employees can share their experience and the lessons learned from past mistakes.  Younger employees can support more experienced employees on how to look at situations through a different pair of eyes.  We can and do all grow professionally from each other if we only look at this as a great opportunity to learn from each other’s skills, talents, and experiences.

How does your company use the talents and skills of the team to get even better?

Action Steps #7
Encourage Gen Y and Gen X to Share Ideas Since They Bring a Fresh Perspective to the Team. action plans | communication strategies

This is a great time to stop blaming our generational differences and actually listen to all perspectives.

Younger employees can show others how to use new technical resources.
More experienced employees need to be open and stop saying negative things about “the younger generations.”  Just saying!

Action Steps #8
Ask All Generations to Help Each Other with Face-to-Face Communication and Social Networking Skills.

I see different factions in the workplace that complain about slowness, multi-tasking, being on tablets too much, or not having a work ethic.

Leaders who know how to make sure that everyone feels heard will see such great engagement and loyalty!  This stuff works.

Action Steps #9
Ask Your Team What Opportunities Will Open Up When Everyone is Accountable to Each Other.

A great exercise is to bring several departments together and discuss what each person needs from others to improve productivity, efficiency, morale, and communications.
A rule must be that it’s a FREE judgment zone.  Anyone can say anything as long as it’s with respect and not about being right – just expressing their thoughts.

Action Steps #10
Start a Discussion with Your Colleagues About What You and They’re Doing to Commit Fully to Their Job for an Interesting Discussion.

I find that when clients’ expectations are not clear, employees feel more stress and less confidence doing a good job. Everyone needs to know what his or her functions are in the job.
You may be thinking, “Joyce, this is common sense.  Of course, leaders need to be clear.”  Well, according to my clients, they’ve left jobs for this one reason.  They were tired of all the confusion and finger-pointing.

This one action step will make a huge difference for you if expectations are not clear.

Let’s Stay Connected!

What are some of your strategies with these action steps? Which one speaks to you?

  • What kind of mentorship do you offer?
  • How does your company make sure that all generations are respected and heard?
  • How does leadership make expectations clear for you?

Those of you who share either in the comment section below or send me an email HERE will receive a new video (that I have not posted yet) about using props to engage your virtual meetings. It’s short and contains tips to liven up your virtual meetings.

Continue being engaged as a Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly Update member and start sharing your thoughts about the videos or articles.
Hey, Dear Readers, I’m here for you when you have questions about your own communication or relationship “challenges.”

Feel free to send me an email. Full disclosure here:
I don’t charge anything when people send me questions or comments via email. Staying connected is what it’s all about for me.

Have a Great Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Career Advancement is like riding a bike: Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!

P.P.S. Here’s the link for Part 1 in the series with the first 5 action steps.

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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