Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Are We Biased “Thinking that We Know” Our Blind Spots? A Funny Story

The Importance of Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

Science has proven that we all have a blind spot bias and that many of us aren’t aware of this. Of course, this has negative consequences. Because at times we don’t listen to the feedback from others when they share their opinion about our blind spots. We are certain that we know our story – no blind spots.

Blind Spots are 2 words that coaches love using. It’s an important aspect to uncover blind spots for clients and ourselves too!

The Johari Window is a coaching tool that is still powerful today. Part of the Johari Window is knowing your blind spots. It’s so much fun when we get together in small teams and do this exercise. People are shocked that they didn’t see their own blind spot until a team member pointed it out in the exercise.  There are some people who deny them. That’s another blog post, I’m sure.

The story below happened at a restaurant when I was dining with friends. We were talking with our waiter, Claud, and the story’s conclusion was better than a dark chocolate dessert!

Here we go with another TRUE story.

Story:  Knowing Our Blind Spots blind spots

I gave my waiter, Claud a compliment stating that our friends enjoyed having him serve us. He thanked us and added some details to the complement. This is what he said, “Thanks. I’m training the new waiter because he stays at the customer’s table way too long. And gives guests so many details about his background in the food industry. I’ve told him that there is a fine line in being friendly and overbearing.”

Claud’s comments made sense. Until – he came back and spent 10 minutes talking to us about his resume. Are you ready for more? He brought over a chair and decided to join us while he was talking.

You may think that this is a nice moment in fine dining.

Claud had a blind spot. No, I didn’t point it out to him. He didn’t see that his actions were exactly what he was training the new waiter not to do.

Lesson About Knowing Our Blind Spots

We all have a bias about our blind spots. The lucky people who are in deep and trusting relationships or who learn from a coach benefit from this feedback.  Because they understand the importance of going deep and discovering blind spots.

Claud just told us about his mentee and how he was training him. Claud didn’t see the irony of his story.

We have to admit to ourselves that our reality is only one of the many realities that exist.

It’s important to be open to others who are brave enough to share their opinions. This may be a golden opportunity for your professional or personal growth.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?

You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What are some of your blind spots? Let’s celebrate that you know these and had the courage to go deep!

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call HERE

Find out how easy it is to work with Joyce as your private coach

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5 Easy Secrets to Coach Your Team: Part 2

This week is part 2 in the five-part series: 5 Easy Secrets to Coach Your Team.
Last week the topic was about strategies to use a code of conduct.
Here’s the link for you if you missed it.

Team Coaching Secret #2:  The Team Will Not Be Happy All of the Time code of conduct |complainers; generations in the workplace

  • At times team members will be put on the spot
  • Direct communication (with respect) is part of the Code of Honor
  • The code will protect everyone on the team from abuse as long as bold honesty, accountability, and support exit.

Thoughts From Joyce

It’s important for you to have a trained coach or consultant to conduct your code of conduct because there may be times that pushback is prevalent – especially if you have bullies or rude people on your team.  Everyone is responsible to call out team members when the code is broken. 

  • Remember, the code is made by the team. 
  • Everyone must play by the same rules.
  • Team members are willing to stand up and defend the code.

Pushback must be stopped immediately because the team already agreed with each other by creating the code of conduct.  This is where a coach or trained consultant can jump right in before things get out of hand. It could be a good coaching moment with the person who pushes back.  He or she needs to think outside the box and realize that egos are not part of the code. This is the only way that the strategy will succeed.

Leaders can deal with the person who pushes back. It could be a red flag that the angry team member is not a good fit for the company.  It’s not all about you.  It’s about the code. 
You will find more information about this in the next 3 blog posts.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to learn more about creating your own code of conduct. Ask me how it works to see if it’s a right fit for your organization.

What’s your experience when you created a code of conduct with your team?

Feel free to call me at 248.681.5831 if you want to explore options on how I can come to your organization and facilitate a meeting (face to face or virtually) for you to create your own code of conduct. This is the perfect exercise for any board meeting or retreat.

Human resource professionals find this exercise a time saver for them.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media so other growth-minded people can control their inner stress and improve morale at work.

P.P.S. I work with human resource and business professionals so that they feel heard and respected which means they feel confident speaking their voice without losing their cool.

P.P.P. S.  Here’s the link from part 1 if you missed it.

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A Powerful Interview with Kristie Stocker About Leadership and Purpose

Hey, Dear Readers of Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly Update! 🙂

Are you ready to learn information that you can share at work about leadership and purpose?

I met our guest speaker at a National Speaker’s Association meeting a few years ago. I knew our paths would cross because she was full of energy, leadership skills, and so much fun.  Pop some popcorn and learn from Kristie Stocker – success coach and leadership speaker.

Here’s the video.

Here are the Questions that I asked Kristie About Leadership and Purpose:

{You will find more details on the video – this is the readers’ digest portion. :)}

1.  The word purpose is thrown around all the time, it seems a bit “woo”. Is it really that important to weave into the business world?
Kristie’s Answer:  “Purpose for the team AND company is necessary.”

2.  Can someone’s purpose change?
Kristie’s Answer:  “Yes! Different life experiences, situations, and happiness equals innovation.  Individuals and companies change their purpose due to so many factors.

3.  What happens when they don’t have a sense of purpose?
Kristie’s answer:  “Tell-tale signs like turnover, lack of engagement, no sense of community, and even mental health are all influences on purpose.

4.  What can leaders do to connect more with their purpose?
Kristie’s answer: “Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions and go deep.”

5. How can leaders help their employees?
Kristie’s answer: “Understand motivators, personalities, pair their strengths, coach them to grow, and don’t be afraid to let them go.”

About Kristie Stocker

Kristie comes with 20 years of past experience in corporate communications for a multi-billion dollar corporation and has been coaching driven professionals since 2002 to advance their self-leadership skills to unbelievable levels.  Her clients like Bosch, Lockheed-martin Leadership Association, Institute of Management Accountants, and National Management Association know Kristie as the expert in helping them become excuse-breaking, fear-crushing, goal-exceeding leaders.

When she’s not mentoring high-achievers to be rock star leaders or hosting her leadership show, “Kristie TV” on YouTube, she’s helping clients connect with their powerful purpose.

Here’s how to get in touch with Kristie:
https://KristieStocker.com
HTTP://Kristietv.com

Let’s Stay Connected!

What are some of your questions about the interview?  Those of you who share either in the comment section below or send me an email will receive a new video (that I have not posted yet) about using props to engage your virtual meetings. It’s short and contains tips to liven up your virtual meetings.

Hey, Dear Readers, I’m here for you when you have questions about your own communication or relationship “challenges.” Feel free to send me an email. Full disclosure here:  I don’t charge anything when people send me questions or comments via email. Staying connected is what it’s all about for me.

Have a Great Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Career Advancement is like riding a bike: Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!

P.P.S. Here’s a link to a past post that pairs well with this article on The Importance of Humility

P.P.P.S. If you need more clarity and direction on becoming a more confident and purposeful leader, book a FREE 50-minute leadership session with Kristie. You’ll discuss your current challenges, goals, and exact next steps you can take to be the leader you’re meant to be. Spots are limited for these sessions so book it here: https://kristiestocker.as.me/leadership50

 

 

 

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Even More Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication – Part 3

Thanks for the feedback about enjoying parts 1 and 2 of the series “Coaching Strategies to Improve your Communication – Big Time!”

I received this great information from Michael Bungay Stanier who is part of the World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit.  I share the best information from the Summit with you because if I find it fascinating, I sure hope you do too. 🙂

Week 1 is about the Tell It Communicator.  Week 2 describes the Save IT Communicator.  The links to both of the articles are below:

Week 1: The Tell It Communicator Article
Week 2: The Save It Communicator Article

Coaching Strategies #1:  Description of Control It Communicators

Control It Communicators maintain their control 100% of the time.  Tell It Communicators give solutions and are all-knowing. They don’t maintain control as much as the Control It Communicators.
My class – Kick Conflict to the Curb enjoyed an energetic discussion on the difference in all 3 communicators. They had to decide which style was most like them. Last week I revealed that I’m more of a Save It Communicator and rescue family and friends from getting hurt. I now know that they don’t need or appreciate rescuing! Who knew? I thought it was a good thing. Each person has at least one style and could use all 3 at different times. We went deep during the class and discovered that every participant learned that their style had both prizes and punishments.

Coaching Strategies #2:  Punishments of being a Control It Communicatorcoaching strategies

  • You won’t get to the real issues because there is no discussion
  • Bottlenecks are formed due to a lack of open communication, trust, and creativity
  • People who are controlled end up closing down and resentment appears

Coaching Strategies #3:  Prizes of being a Control It Communicator

  • Control It Communicators think that their power will make others feel safe
  • Time is saved because there is not a discussion – not really a prize. 🙁
  • Control It Communicators feel strong and efficient

So Joyce, What Do You Think About Tell It, Save It, and Control It Communicators?

I highly recommend Michael Bungay Stanier’s book, Taming The Advice Monster. It’s a great read. The information from this article came from Michael’s lecture at the Coaching Summit.
At times in our life, we can be all 3 communicators.  We usually use one communication style more than others.

Here’s a great exercise that you can use with your family, work team, or friends – that is if they are open to these kinds of discussions.  First, describe all 3 communication styles.

  • Have everyone decide what kind of communication style they use
  • Ask them to write down what communication style they think the other members use
  • This is the moment when you need to act like a coach
  • Let them know that this discussion needs to be positive without blaming and judgment
  • Hopefully, the discussion will be light-hearted
  • Start discussing the prizes and punishments for all 3 styles.  You will find details in the 3 articles and the 2 links at the end of this article
  • Next comes the best part. Everyone shares how they can change their style and what awareness they learned about themselves

You can always ask me to help you with this exercise during an online customized training for you and your team.  We will have an engaging experience and you will get long-lasting results.  Sound good? Call me at 800.713.1926 or send me an email HERE.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share which communication style you “own!”

  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • How will you use this information to grow professionally?
  • How do you think this style has held you back?

Send me an email HERE if you have a communication issue that you want to resolve.  You are not imposing if you send me information or ask questions. I love connecting with all of you.

Here are the 2 links to the previous articles;
Week 1: The Tell It Communicator Article
Week 2: The Save It Communicator Article

Hope You Have a Great Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Master Coach and Communication Strategist

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

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More Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication – Part 2

Are you ready to hear about more coaching strategies?
Do you wonder if your communication patterns get in the way of creating trust with others?
Would you like to see if you are a rescuer who could hinder progress in others?

Ouch! Hopefully, the questions above piqued your interest. 🙂 If so, you are in the right place. 🙂

Last week you read about the work of Michael Bungay Stanier on the TELL IT Communicators. I described the TELL IT Communicator from Michael’s class during the World of Executive and Business Coaching Summit.

Here’s a link to Part 1: Coaching Strategies to Improve Your communication – Big Time!
Michael Bungay Stanier shared that there are 3 types of communicators: Tell IT, Save IT, and Control IT

This article is about the SAVE IT Communicators.

Coaching Strategies #1: SAVE IT Communication Challenges

  • Save IT Communicators are rescuers
  • They keep others from making mistakes
  • Listeners resent SAVE IT Communicators because they become codependent and don’t know how to stop the SAVE IT Communicator
  • They have all the answers

Coaching Strategies #2: SAVE IT Communication Benefits  

  • They are heroes because their purpose is to save everyone from imperfections
  • SAVE IT Communicators think they are helping others from making mistakes

Coaching Strategies #3: SAVE IT Communication Solutions

  • Stay curious and do your best to stop rescuing everyone from making mistakes
  • Realize that success consists of falling down and taking risks
  • Think before you open your mouth
  • Ask yourself if your words help or hinder the success of others
  • See how your new behavior encourages self-growth and autonomy

Joyce, What Do You Think About SAVE IT Communicators?

Full disclosure.  Drum rolls, please.  I am a SAVE IT Communicator. I discussed this awareness with a couple of coaching colleagues.  We discovered that all 3 of us are Save It Communicators. We also realized that it’s time for a change. I am NOT any of these communicators when I coach with clients or in my virtual courses.

My personal life is another story. I decided to make a change and took this awareness as a gift to myself. The last couple of weeks have been more relaxing for me and my family.  I have stopped saying, ” It’s going to be cold, so you better take your jacket.” No More Mrs. Nice Gal!” Let’s face it, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves. Our family consists of all adults. No more babies or teens to rescue for this MASTER Coach! My family has started taking their own jackets. They appreciate the fact that I’m changing – of course, I told them about this and we discussed their patterns also. Hey, it’s only fair, if I change they need to work on their growth also.

Self-awareness is a great first step towards progress.  The good news is once we discover our communication style, we can then make important changes.  Some of them are easy while others are not. I promise, there will be more information on these important coaching strategies to add to your toolbox.

Let’s Hear From You

Let’s hear how you feel about these coaching strategies. Do you see SAVE IT Communicators in your workplace or home? If so, please share your awareness and how this communication style stifles creativity, trust, and growth.

I suggest that you talk about the 3 communication styles after I describe the last one next week.  This can be a great exercise for your department or family. When you have open-minded people, this will work really well. If you have one negative person, wait until that person is not present, or else he or she can ruin the results with their sarcasm and negativity.

The comment section is working! Let’s hear from you.

You can always send me a private email with questions or concerns about the communication conflicts that you are experiencing.

Let’s Stay Connected

Do you want to go deeper and grow professionally to your next level? If so, I have several coaching packages and memberships to fit anyone’s schedule and budget.  I’d love to work with you.
Give me a call to see how coaching can help you or your direct reports to improve relationships, careers, and personal peace!

office: 800.713.1926
cell: 248.325.8101

Just think: No more

  • Drama
  • Silence
  • Not being heard
  • Unresolved tough conversations

Have a great week.

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Here’s the link to part 1 of the series Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication

 

 

 

 

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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