how to improve communication skills Archives - Page 14 of 19

January 14, 2014 By Joyce Weiss 2 Comments

Inspect Respect: Respect is a 2 Way Street

Do you deal with a workplace bully and want to know how to set boundaries with this person to improve conflict in the workplace?
Did you have an important conversation that changed your life?
This blog post describes a turning point in my life. I hope that it will unlock your own story.

Why RESPECT is so important to Joyce

I was asked to be a guest on the TV show Impact. The host – Mike Domitrz, founder of Date Safe Project wanted me to share my story on why “respect” was so important to me both personally and professionally. He found me on line because of my trademark Be Direct with Respect®. I started thinking about what I would say and was at a loss for words…this doesn’t happen often being a conflict resolution consultant and keynote speaker! 🙂

I started asking friends why respect was important to them so I could start thinking of my own reasons.

Watch this 14 minute TV show-Impact (below) with host Mike Domitrz, founder of Date Safe Project
which describes a conversation that impacted my life.

Look for a future article on Mike Domitrz about the remarkable messages he gives to schools and military about respect, healthy dating, and sexual assault.

I remembered a turning point in my life which was buried for a long time.

I was 21 and just graduated from college as a teacher. I just moved out on my own. I was a free spirit who was always focused on doing well in school. My parents taught me that hard work and persistence were key ingredients to a successful life. My self-esteem was intact. So I thought!

Then I met Jerry, a talented attorney. After a one year court ship, we were married and that’s when the battles began. Our arguments were like we were in a court room with a judge always present. Jerry was very articulate, and because I was not trained in the art of debate, I was no match. I am a positive person who loves to have fun, and tries to be fair. This situation was not fair, and I didn’t have a clue how to stand up for myself.

After living like this for several months, I started to feel like all my energy had been zapped. It was like the defragmenters in Harry Potter. I started feeling invisible…like I had no voice. I didn’t want to get a divorce, but I knew I couldn’t continue living like this.

I became a woman on a mission to learn all about assertiveness so I could get my husband to behave! One book, The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner really opened my eyes. Dr. Lerner wrote that when one person in a relationship changes the steps of the dance the other person follows. It finally became so clear to me. I was trying to change Jerry and nothing ever changed except my frustration level! I knew that I had to alter the steps of the dance. I was the one who needed to change. I needed to take a risk and have a tough conversation the next time a disagreement came between us.

I can remember the argument that broke this passive pattern.

I was filled with excitement about my decision to go back to school and pursue a career in counseling and coaching. Nothing would stop me now. I thought that Jerry would be as thrilled as I was that I would go back to school and help others resolve their issues on their own.

I couldn’t wait to share my new ideas with Mr. Lawyer. Have you ever been caught off guard when someone reacts in a different way than you thought they would act? Well I was caught off guard…big time when Jerry “told me” that going to school would be a waste of time. He “wanted” me to go into sales since he knew how focused I was and that I was a hard worker.

The old Joyce disappeared during THAT argument. I was calm, took a breath and a huge risk and said, “I am frustrated when I share my excitement about becoming a counselor because my ideas are discounted.” I changed the dance steps! Jerry was surprised with my direct statement. I respected him and was not sarcastic and most importantly I respected myself by standing up for what was important to me.

That one conversation changed our entire relationship.

It took many more books and months of coaching for both of us to change our steps. Now let’s fast forward 47 years. We are still happily married. Of course we disagree, yet we are now equal and there is no winning or losing. When people ask me why I became a conflict resolution consultant …I tell them that I married a lawyer. They laugh and think that I’m joking. You know the rest of my story.

So what about you? Is there a moment in your life when something changed…when you finally spoke up for yourself? We all have our own story. Some of us are still struggling and not getting the respect that we deserve. You have to be the one who changes in order to improve any relationship…not them. What message is speaking to you right now after hearing my story?

Was this helpful?

Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post. Place your comments by hitting the “comment link” at the end of this post. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these articles. Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these ideas on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Read this article on Setting Boundaries with Workplace Bullies to reduce conflict in the workplace and improve communication.

December 17, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

A Powerful Yet Simple Tip to Help You Stay Positive

I wish you were a fly on the wall when my son taught me an important lesson

It’s funny about life. At times our adult children start using OUR words. Of course they may not recognize this but we sure do. It seems like a miracle when this happens…especially when we remember when they were teenagers! A few months ago I was speaking with my son, Ron and was complaining about a future meeting. I was looking forward to seeing one of my favorite clients. I was excited to use new and improved strategies at the workshop that I was conducting. The training session was being held in February and was located in the Bahamas….I reside in MI.

I was complaining on how I didn’t want to spend time with a colleague because he monopolizes ALL conversations and turns everything into a negative. He drains everyone around him. I help people have conversations like this so they can take control of these difficult people. I also know that there are times when nothing seems to work…especially when we deal with people who don’t listen well.

So, What Did Ron Say?

“Mom, concentrate on steel drums and sunshine. You are wasting too much energy thinking about this long winded colleague.” I said, “Ron, how did you get so smart?” It dawned on me that I say the same things to family members, friends, and clients. Those were MY words that Ron said to his mom. The important part of this story is that we all slip into old patterns at times. It takes someone else to point this out to us. I immediately “changed my state” as Tony Robbins (Author of Unlimited Power) tells us to do when we need to change our internal messages.

I have told many people this story and I get interesting reactions. Everyone “gets it” immediately. We all need reminders on the valuable time that we waste when we constantly complain and don’t do anything about it. Others told me how lucky I am to have a son who is so honest with me. That is how I am with all of my family. Our conversation are never dull! What goes around comes around.

Click the links below to find out what legal services my son, Ron Weiss offers to his clients.
Michigan Injury Law and Michigan Lemon Law

So What About You?

Has someone gently kicked you when you needed to “change your state?” If so, lucky you. Remember to let others know when they are wasting valuable time complaining. You will be appreciated when your statement is direct, positive, without judgment and sarcasm. Please click here for a short video on “Dealing with Negativity in the Workplace.”

Write your own story and what you have said to others when they needed a gentle reminder on how their negativity was getting in their way. If you have questions on what you can say to someone, please ask me and I will respond.

Was this helpful?

Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post. Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to: Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is experiencing stress… who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here for a short video on “Dealing with Negativity in the Workplace”

November 6, 2013 By Joyce Weiss 7 Comments

Powerful Presentation Skills Secrets From a 13 Year Old

Do you want to…

Get a standing ovation at your next speech?
Feel more confident at your own presentation?
Earn the respect that you deserve?
Have fun during your presentation?

If you answered “yes” to any of these important stress producers, then you are in the right place! This blog post will show you EASY ways to create a speech that your audience will appreciate and that you will actually enjoy.

I had the honor of being my grandson’s tutor for his Bar Mitzvah speech. The portion that I helped Dylan with was in English. The Temple asked me to help him since I am a keynote presenter and consultant who writes my own material. I jumped at the chance and didn’t realize that this experience was going to be such a highlight in my life. Many of my clients share that they create a lot of stress and conflict for themselves when they have to make a presentation. Believe me they are NOT alone!

It took us over a year to do the research and develop Dylan’s paper.
He had to find 2 heroes that represented his values. Dylan selected Simcha Blass (the Israeli inventor of drip irrigation) and Salva Dut (who develops wells in South Sudan with his project “Water for South Sudan.) Dylan thought that we were almost done. Here is where the fun began! Please try these tips when you develop your own speech.

I asked Dylan to read his speech out loud. He did and like any good coach I asked him, “What did you like about your presentation and where can you improve?” His answer was perfect when he said, “I liked the content but I was bored when I read it out loud.”

We usually fall in love with our words of wisdom which is good. The first step is to create an interesting speech. I find that most people miss the second step…which is delivery. Think of a time when you heard a speaker and you bored out of your mind. The content was probably good BUT it is all about delivery. The delivery part of the project took 6 months. We immediately fixed the part where he was bored.

Here are the secrets on why he received a standing ovation:

We placed the symbols >>> where he needed to pause
We highlighted the areas where there was humor and placed a 🙂 at the end of the sentence so he would smile. This gave a hint to the audience and sure enough they laughed during these great moments
We underlined words that needed emphasis
We marked sentences where he needed to lower his voice
We found stories in his own life so the audience could relate

He worked on this part for weeks and guess what happened? His presentation was not only informative, humorous, and delivered like a professional…he also received a standing ovation. This is not typical when a 13 year old gives a speech!

What can we all learn from this?

Be yourself and make sure to add humor in your speech. I’m not talking about jokes!
Decide where you need to slow down, emphasize words, and lower your voice.
Add stories from your own experience. I don’t care what topic you are speaking about because this personalizes your ideas.
Prepare, prepare and prepare so your audience thinks that you are relaxed and an expert.
The experience that Dylan and I had was priceless. The lessons that we both learned were amazing. I hope that these ideas will help you create future speeches that will reduce stress and conflict for you. Please feel free to ask me questions about your own presentation skills. I look forward to answering your questions. If you need another pair of eyes to see how you can improve your speech, please feel free to contact me.

Was this helpful?
Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post. Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress… who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.
Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS If you want to learn how to Communicate with Impact please read this description about a powerful On-Line Master Communication Course. The course will teach you how to improve your communication at meetings, deal with bullies and negative people, and reduce conflict in the workplace. Feel free to call me for more details on how I will be your coach for 2 months. The course only requires a few minutes of work per day. Call today (800.713.1926) to start improving your communication so you can earn the respect that you deserve!

September 17, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

5 Ridiculously Simple Ways to Improve Your Team

You know those communications…the ones where you just can’t
pay attention or roll your eyes.

Have you ever been on a losing team? What would you have changed
if you were the leader?

Don’t set your team up for failure.
Whether you’re the team leader or a team member,
don’t let the following 5 scenarios happen in your office.

On a Losing Team, People:

1. Do not know what is expected.

2. Do not know how he/she is doing.

3. Cannot do the required skills.

4. Lack organizational support.

5. Have poor relationships.

What Can YOU Do When You See Your Team’s Success Dwindle?

1. Ask questions and be clear about what is expected from your company, colleagues, and your boss.

2. Find out how you are doing a few times/year and NOT just during evaluations.

3. Know what the required skills are for you and others and get training immediately.

4. Look for another job if there is no support from the top.

5. You don’t have to like your colleagues. Let go of old issues if they are getting in the way.
Do your best to change a negative situation into something a bit more manageable in order to
move forward.

Remember…YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

Click here for an article on How to Increase Respect in the Workplace.

Thoughts from Joyce

I know that these 5 ideas sound easy. They are not always simple to follow.
Please write questions about your own conflict or communication situations at work.
You are not alone. There is usually a second right answer once you brainstorm with an ally!

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Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Feel free to share these tips with your team – just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share.

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For more information, videos, articles and podcasts, visit Joyce’s website.

Click here for an article on
How to Increase Respect in the Workplace and Reduce Stress

Until next time…This is Joyce Weiss

Remember…YOU Get What You Tolerate!

Don’t run away from conflict. Resolve it now to get respect back in the workplace.

I help people have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep!

June 11, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

What to do with Those “Falling Star Employees!”

Many of my loyal readers have asked me to write about how to deal with “middle stars” and “falling stars” on their team to reduce conflict in the workplace.

The biggest conflict is how NOT to burn out your “superstars” because they do what they do so well. At times leaders stop asking the “falling stars” because they under perform.

Are you asking yourself…”Joyce tell me all ready what do I do with these unmotivated people?”
Ok, here is how I have helped my clients get control of this issue.

Hit this link to share an important yet short video on “The Importance of Feeling Committed to Your Job” with your team.

Who are the “middle stars?:

Some days they are great and other days they are not so great.

They are inconsistent.

They may not want to be “superstars” and only want to do their work and go home.

Here’s some ideas on how to deal with “the middle stars.”

Are your expectations clear when you communicate with them?

Do they know how they will be held accountable?

Are they facing obstacles that are stopping them?

Can they be mentored by a “superstar?”

Remember, every person will not be a “superstar.”

These people can either move up and improve or move down and become a “falling star.”

You have to decide if they can be saved.

You can give them the tools and training.

Who are the “falling stars?”

This is usually not a large group.

Their impact WILL take up your valuable time.

They fail to carry their fair share of the work.

They are uncooperative.

They are chronically late.

They are just getting by.

They need to improve or be replaced

You are not doing your job if you are not taking care of this group!

You can involve both of these groups to see if they want to grow

Invite them to meetings and ask for their input.

Delegate easy tasks to see if they follow through.

Ask them to give short presentations to their team.

I coach my clients to tell every new employee that “dead weight” will not be tolerated.

Remember, you get what you tolerate!

Identify these people and either train them or find others who can take your company far into the future.

Concentrate on taking the “falling stars and middle stars” to the next level.

Recognize your “superstars” so they don’t disengage.

This will help you reduce conflict in the workplace immediately.

Your “superstars” will get the positive attention that they deserve and your “middle and falling stars” will learn what they need to do to continue being part of the team…or not.

Raising the bar of your organization will help you be successful in the future.

Was this helpful?
Please share how you handle your disengaged employees in the comment section below this blog post.
Feel free to share any of Joyce’s blog posts with your team or others who you feel will benefit from the ideas…
Just be sure to give Joyce Weiss credit for the information.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep!

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

Remember to check out this link to share this short yet important video on
“The importance of Feeling Committed to Your Job” with your team.

Inspect Respect: Respect is a 2 Way Street

A Powerful Yet Simple Tip to Help You Stay Positive

Powerful Presentation Skills Secrets From a 13 Year Old

5 Ridiculously Simple Ways to Improve Your Team

What to do with Those “Falling Star Employees!”

Contact Joyce

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