Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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January 14, 2014 By Joyce Weiss 2 Comments

Inspect Respect: Respect is a 2 Way Street

conflict business man being blamedDo you deal with a workplace bully and want to know how to set boundaries with this person to improve conflict in the workplace?
Did you have an important conversation that changed your life?
This blog post describes a turning point in my life.  I hope that it will unlock your own story.

Why RESPECT is so important to Joyce

I was asked to be a guest on the TV show Impact.  The host – Mike Domitrz, founder of Date Safe Project wanted me to share my story on why “respect” was so important to me both personally and professionally. He found me on line because of my trademark Be Direct with Respect®. I started thinking about what I would say and was at a loss for words…this doesn’t happen often being a conflict resolution consultant and keynote speaker! 🙂

I started asking friends why respect was important to them so I could start thinking of my own reasons.

Watch this 14 minute TV show-Impact (below)  with host Mike Domitrz, founder of Date Safe Project 
which describes a conversation that impacted my life.

Look for a future article on Mike Domitrz about the remarkable messages he gives to schools and military about respect, healthy dating, and sexual assault.

I remembered a turning point in my life which was buried for a long time.

I was 21 and just graduated from college as a teacher. I just moved out on my own. I was a free spirit who was always focused on doing well in school. My parents taught me that hard work and persistence were key ingredients to a successful life. My self-esteem was intact. So I thought!

Then I met Jerry, a talented attorney. After a one year court ship, we were married and that’s when the battles began. Our arguments were like we were in a court room with a judge always present. Jerry was very articulate, and because I was not trained in the art of debate, I was no match. I am a positive person who loves to have fun, and tries to be fair. This situation was not fair, and I didn’t have a clue how to stand up for myself.

After living like this for several months, I started to feel like all my energy had been zapped. It was like the defragmenters in Harry Potter. I started feeling invisible…like I had no voice. I didn’t want to get a divorce, but I knew I couldn’t continue living like this.

I became a woman on a mission to learn all about assertiveness so I could get my husband to behave! One book, The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner really opened my eyes. Dr. Lerner wrote that when one person in a relationship changes the steps of the dance the other person follows. It finally became so clear to me. I was trying to change Jerry and nothing ever changed except my frustration level! I knew that I had to alter the steps of the dance. I was the one who needed to change. I needed to take a risk and have a tough conversation the next time a disagreement came between us.

I can remember the argument that broke this passive pattern.

I was filled with excitement about my decision to go back to school and pursue a career in counseling and coaching. Nothing would stop me now. I thought that Jerry would be as thrilled as I was that I would go back to school and help others resolve their issues on their own.

I couldn’t wait to share my new ideas with Mr. Lawyer. Have you ever been caught off guard when someone reacts in a different way than you thought they would act? Well I was caught off guard…big time when Jerry “told me” that going to school would be a waste of time. He “wanted” me to go into sales since he knew how focused I was and that I was a hard worker.

The old Joyce disappeared during THAT argument. I was calm, took a breath and a huge risk and said, “I am frustrated when I share my excitement about becoming a counselor because my ideas are discounted.” I changed the dance steps! Jerry was surprised with my direct statement. I respected him and was not sarcastic and most importantly I respected myself by standing up for what was important to me.

That one conversation changed our entire relationship.

It took many more books and months of coaching for both of us to change our steps. Now let’s fast forward 47 years. We are still happily married. Of course we disagree, yet we are now equal and there is no winning or losing. When people ask me why I became a conflict resolution consultant …I tell them that I married a lawyer. They laugh and think that I’m joking. You know the rest of my story.

So what about you? Is there a moment in your life when something changed…when you finally spoke up for yourself? We all have our own story. Some of us are still struggling and not getting the respect that we deserve. You have to be the one who changes in order to improve any relationship…not them. What message is speaking to you right now after hearing my story? 

Was this helpful?

Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post.  Place your comments by hitting the “comment link” at the end of this post. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these articles.  Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these ideas on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Read this article on Setting Boundaries with Workplace Bullies to reduce conflict in the workplace and improve communication.

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullying in the workplace, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Conflict in the Workplace, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Increase Respect in the Workplace
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, how to improve communication skills, Respect in the Workplace

December 5, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Liberate Your Team With These 4 Easy Steps

 cartoon good attitude its free

Thoughts from Joyce

I’ve been meeting many people who share their stories on why they love working at their company…and these are NOT the owners or presidents!
You will experience their stories in future blogs.  Many of you know that I help people take on conflict and resolve it to get better results. 

The other part of the equation is how to feel more engaged at work to resolve conflict in the workplace.  This post will help those of you who want 4 easy ways to start seeing smiles at work again.  Please call me if your team is experiencing hidden agendas, lack of responsibility and accountability because the ideas below will work only after you remove the communication issues. BUT if you have a good team and want to make the environment more positive…enjoy these tips.

How can you make your work environment more enjoyable? Increase motivation? Create an atmosphere where others share new ideas? Working with a team is at times tedious and contentious.  Bring on more cake!

The following ideas are a good starting point to liberate your team:

1. Celebrate small wins (birthdays)

2. Manage the junk pile (What is the most annoying rule we can eliminate?)

3. Appreciate them now (Write thank you notes to 2-3 people each week especially when people take risks, speak well to a customer/member, and handle a tough member.)

4. See windows of opportunity (Organize a team to visit other teams to see how they involve their employees)

 

 Check out this article on 5 Ridiculously Simple Ways to Improve Your Team.

Was this helpful?
Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post. Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to: Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com.

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out… who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.
Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS  Check out this article on 5 Ridiculously Simple Ways to Improve Your Team

PPS Please click here for gift ideas for unique inspirational professional growth books.  I will autograph all copies once you send me the names.  Shipping and handling are FREE. 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Communication, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Conflict in the Workplace, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication, Increase Respect in the Workplace, Respect in the Workplace, Team Synergy
Tagged With: employee morale, personal development, Respect in the Workplace

August 22, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Do You REALLY Want to Improve Morale?

photo the office superboss

This is the 2nd post about the gems that I learned from the MI Lean Consortium Conference.
The information for this post comes from an incredible LEAN leader and author, Jamie Flinchbaugh.
Employee engagement helps reduce conflict in the workplace…only when programs are put in place after a lot of planning with the entire team.

 

 

 


 

Employee Engagement Works When…

  • Everyone buys into the program, not just the leader or a few people
  • Leaders become teachers and walk their talk
  • Problems with the program are dealt with immediately

3 Important Ideas That Impact Change

  • Behavior is how we act
  • Action is what we do
  • Results are what we get

Build Tension with Change…NOT Stress

  • What is the current reality?
  • What is the vision of the ideal state?

The gap creates tension.  This will help the team forward.  Now discuss what changes need to be made
to get the results that you ALL want.

How to Build Positive Tension

  • Eliminate fear
  • Eliminate comfort
  • Make sure that there is space for learning and making mistakes

 Joyce’s Opinion on Successful Employee Engagement

Respect is NOT about being nice

“Be Direct with Respect ” is our company trademark that has changed the environment for my clients.
The idea is to give your opinion to anyone in a respectful way.
It takes practice to learn communication skills that work!
The GAP is where people learn new behavior for themselves and others.

Click here to find out how you and your team can take an ON Line Master E-Course
Communicate with Impact.
You will be in touch with Joyce for 2 months while you practice
new skills to get the communication results that you deserve.
Learn how to deal with negativity, bullies, time wasters, and boundaries.
You take the class from the comfort of your own home and the class is personalized to fit your needs.

OK, It’s YOUR Turn!

Please share how your company encourages employees to share their opinion to make positive
change in your company.

Was this helpful?
Please send me any comments that you may have on this subject.
Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share these ideas. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these ideas on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home
life.

 Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS  Click here to find out how you and your team can take
an ON Line Master E-Course
Communicate with Impact.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullying in the workplace, Collaboration Strategies, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Conflict in the Workplace, Great Leaders, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication, Increase Respect in the Workplace
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, employee morale, Respect in the Workplace

August 14, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Employee Engagement Rocks!

cartoon booste office moraleI just attended a very productive few days at the
MI Lean Consortium Conference in Traverse City MI.
I will be sharing some of the “gems” that I learned in the next few blog posts.

LEAN Thinking: Eliminate waste and maximize profits

Andy Dillon, State of MI Treasurer was one of the keynote speakers.

He told us how MI has saved money and increased productivity by using LEAN concepts.

Here are key ideas from his speech:

  • People do things wrong for so long that they don’t know if the system is broken
  • Know your weaknesses and hire people who can fill those gaps
  • Everyone needs to be trained in LEAN in order for it to be successful
  • Leaders not only have to buy into the LEAN concepts…they have to be part of the change

Mr. Dillon and his team spoke to numerous state employees and REALLY heard what was needed
to get more employee engagement. As a result morale and productivity went up after employees
had a chance to share ideas on how to improve things for both citizens and themselves.

The idea is…don’t ask for input unless you will do something about it!

You may be wondering…Joyce, what is your interest in LEAN Thinking?
Once there is change, there is conflict.
I will be assisting LEAN consultants on how to manage conflict.

It takes a while for people to like and understands LEAN thinking.
There will always be the naysayers who complain and try to derail the process.
LEAN consultants use several tools to help change and I will help make the process move forward.

I will be learning about the concepts and start taking courses through the MI Lean Consortium
because I see such value and the results are over whelming.

Please share if you use LEAN Thinking concepts and how they have helped.
Also share frustrations that you have experienced and we can start an interesting conversation
on how to move forward.

Below is a link to the Mi Lean Consortium.
Their philosophy is “Making MI the Benchmark for Economic Success.”
Michigan Lean Consortium website

 Was this helpful?

Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post.
Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.

There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their
working condition or home life.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS  Check out my short interview on The Leaning Edge Radio Show about
communicating ideas between employees and ways to eliminate wasteful
conversations
with host and MLC Chair, Debra Levantrosser.  
The Leaning Edge Radio Show with Debra and Joyce

Filed Under: Communication, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Conflict in the Workplace, Continuous Improvement, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication, Increase Respect in the Workplace
Tagged With: Communication, conflict in the workplace

May 1, 2013 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

The Job Dilemma

I read a very interesting blog post written by Tom Stanfield, a colleague of mine and wanted to share his wisdom with you.
It pertains to MI yet others will find interesting ideas on hiring quality people.  I find that many of my clients need bodies to fill positions because things change so quickly.  This causes conflict in the workplace because expectations are not met.  Employees tell me that they are confused because they were hired to work in one position and the next week they are moved into another role because the company is changing so quickly.

This is nothing new.  This Job Dilemma can be solved when leaders know where to find quality people and how to be transparent on what is expected both from the company and employee.

I’m asked the following question from leaders:  What is accountability coaching?  They usually ask the question when they are exploring the possibility of getting help from a trained consultant to improve communication and improve the flow of the company.
Click here to read my blog post to find out how accountability coaching can help your organization

Enjoy Tom’s article!

M Live Article: The Jobs Dilemma

I read an article by Melissa Anders from M Live The headline is “The Jobs Dilemma”. I must say it was a great job of reporting differing opinions without trying to drive the readers to her conclusion. Nice job Melissa Anders.

There are two sub-headlines. “If Michigan graduates so many skilled students, why can’t they find work here?” and “Online job screening: Are companies missing talented applicants?” I have never had a full-page in any newspaper fall so strongly on my greatest passion; the Talent Management of Michigan Organizations.

There were many facts stated like the mismatch between available jobs and available talent, there are thousands of unfilled jobs on-line but employers say they have a hard time finding qualified candidates, some say the wages offered are too low, some say employers’ expectations are too high, etc.

The scariest statement to me was from Doug Rothwell, President and CEO of Business Leaders of Michigan. He said, “By 2018 Michigan will need to fill 1.3 million jobs, 836,000 of those requiring post-secondary education or training. At current rates we will fall hundreds of thousands short”.

This “battle” for our State’s economy is like the battle the medical world has with cancer. We all want to conquer it, but “it” has “multiple faces” in the overview and a “singular face” with any one individual patient. I have personally learned that when dealing with health issues at the individual level, the patient needs a “patient advocate”. The patient in the “stress of battle” needs an advocate that is intimately involved with the patient but not living in the day-to-day stress of the issue. An “advocate” can help guide the patient’s decisions because they know their needs and desires deeply and are with the patient while consulting with the doctor. They are able to bring observations to both the patient and the doctor.

In my career I was given the opportunity to be the “patient advocate” for the Owner/Operator of a manufacturing company in Grand Rapids. My job was People Development Director. My responsibility was to ensure we had a well qualified, well-trained workforce available to accomplish the corporate goals in the present and into the future. I was an employee of the company, but did not have day-to-day product responsibilities that would distract my focus from Talent Management.

I believe every organization needs someone at the leadership level “driving the Talent Management bus”. If our people are our greatest resource, we need someone that has the understanding of the organizational goals and directions; someone that can project the needs 5, 10 or more years down the road. Someone that can connect to the right sources of the talent the organization will need for the future; an advocate for the entity that cannot speak for itself; the organization.

You would not put an ad on-line for your material inventory needs. Can you imagine an ad that said, “Needed 100,000# of tube stock. Anyone interested in supplying this product please call 616-123-4567”? I don’t believe you would go to Angie’s List to find an electrician to solve a major problem in your facility. Sourcing is the key to controlling the quality of any resource. We need an “advocate” to ensure we connect to the right “doctor”.

Let’s take a tip from the Corrective Action process a lot of organizations use.

1. Define your specific problem or problems. If you have more than one, separate the issues. You cannot solve a generic problem. If you are having trouble finding candidates, define what candidates. Are they Engineers? Are they Welders? Are they Nurses? You cannot solve all of them with the same solution.

2. Determine the right team to work on the problem. If you do not have the right resources in-house, “rent” them. If you were going to build a new building would you use just your staff or would you bring in contractors where needed? Your key people, along with needed outside “experts”, make a great problem solving team.

3. Determine the Root Cause of the problem, not the symptoms. Get to the Root Cause. If you can’t find the right candidates it might be a sourcing issue, or it might be your method of searching for candidates, or it might be your pay scale, etc. If you don’t find the Root Cause of the problem you cannot solve it.

4. Determine Interim Corrective Action. Determine how you can quickly control the problem. This usually means spending a little extra money, but it “stops the bleeding”.

5. Determine Permanent Corrective Action. Once you have “stopped the bleeding” determine the best method of control for the future and get your costs back in line.

I believe we need to get this conversation out of generic statements and into organizational specific statements. After all, how do you eat an elephant?

Who is Tom Stanfield?

Entrepreneurial Business Leader and Business Coach with 40+ years of management experience in automotive tier 1, automotive tier 2 and flat rolled steel processing that supplied the automotive industry; the office furniture industry and the farm implement industry. Proven vision and ability to establish a business culture that focuses on core values and achieve results. Team builder that has learned to harness the natural “flow” of talent in an organization and channel it to create stability and an upward movement of talent while focusing on the bottom line.

Thanks to Tom for giving me permission to share his article with my loyal readers.
Read more of Tom’s articles on his blog

Was this helpful?
Let us know your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team – just be sure to give Joyce Weiss credit when you share or publish.
Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

Thanks for reading and remember…
YOU get what YOU tolerate!

PS
Check out this link on how Joyce can help your company reduce conflict in the workplace.
Find out how accountability coaching could be a key to your company’s success!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Great Leaders, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication, Individual and Team Coaching, Leadership Consulting
Tagged With: how to improve communication skills, Leadership Consulting, personal development

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Phone: 248-681-5831

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