Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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October 4, 2015 By Joyce Weiss 2 Comments

Do You Know Bullies at Work or Home?

This post will identify types of bullies who exist.  As you watch the video start to think if you may have a bullying issue at work. 

Types of Bullies

  • The Screaming Mimi or Verbal Bully: 
    He or she screams or throws things.  Words hurt and the bully humiliates the target.
  • The Constant Critic:
    He or she tells everyone how incompetent the target is at work…usually behind the target’s back.  This can lead to career destruction for the target if leaders don’t know how to control the situation.
  • The 2 Headed Snake Bully: 
    Destroys the target with rumors.
  • The Gatekeeper Bully:
    Withholds resources necessary for targets to succeed.
  • The Sadistic or Narcissist Bully
    Lacks empathy towards others.
  • The Physical Bully:
    Actually hits the target or tables in a violent way.
  • The Serial Bully:
    He or she seems charming while the target is looked upon as a pathetic victim.
  • The Group Bully: 
    He or she likes being part of the gang of “mean boys and girls” like in high school.

 Do Any of These Bullies Sound Familiar?

 I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered.

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz.  You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries to be more effective at work and in your life.  Sound good?
Here’s the LINK

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?
Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, Communication Strategist,  and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

Filed Under: bullying in the workplace, Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Workplace Gossip
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, conflict in the workplace

September 27, 2015 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Are YOU A Target for A Bully?

mean little boyI’m creating a new workshop on 2 difficult people who are creating a lot of stress for my clients.  Think for a moment who these may be.  If you guessed Bullies and Narcissists you’re correct.  The next few blogs will contain new information about these 2 personality disorders with “possible” strategies on how to deal with them.  I said possible because at times there are NO solutions if the bully or narcissist is high on the personality disorder charts.

I started thinking about my own life and if I was ever a target.  I was surprised when I realized that I was a target not too long ago.  I didn’t even realize this until I started doing research for my clients.  Stay tuned because I will share my story to start you thinking IF you have also been a target. 

Facts About Bullies

Bullies don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s health…or your business’s fiscal health.

  • Bullying is experienced by more than 1/3 of the US workforce
  • Bullying is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment

The majority (68%) of bullying is same gender harassment
 

What is it? Bullying is VIOLENCE

  • Verbal abuse, intimidation, humiliation
  • Sabotage over a significant amount of time
  • Could be bosses, coworkers, friends, relatives, or clients
  • Mistreatment is severe enough to compromise a worker’s health
  • Interpersonal destruction

It’s All about the Bully’s personal agenda


Kinds of Bullies

  • The screaming or verbal bully: screams or throws things:
          words hurt & they humiliate the target
  • The constant critic: Bullies say how incompetent the target is which can cause career destruction
  • The 2 headed snake: destroys by spreading rumors with work teams
  • The gatekeeper: controls by withholding resources necessary for targets to succeed
  • The sadistic or narcissistic bully: lacks empathy towards others
  • The physical bully: action oriented
  • The serial bully: bully seems charming while the target is looked upon as a whiny victim
  • Gang bullies: enjoy being part of the gang

     

     AM I Being Bullied?

  • You are miserable
  • Your work is sabotaged
  • You’re caught off guard and think about the ramifications later on
  • Lack of scars make others think you (the target) is exaggerating

     


    Why me?

  • The best and brightest are targeted
  • You pose a threat somehow to someone who is not developed as a moral human being

     
    Who Gets targeted?

  • Unlike schoolyard bullying, you were not targeted because you were a “loner” without friends to stand up to the bullying gang
  • You’re not a weakling
  • You were targeted because you posed a threat to him or her
  • This is in the mind of the bully
  • Targets are more technically skilled than the bully
  • Targets are better liked and have better social skills
  • Targets have a sense of integrity

Stay tuned for the next blog which will explore why employers make Bullying worse and what the best and brightest companies are doing to put a stop to this epidemic.


 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me when you were targeted by a bully.  Did you resolve the situation or not? 


Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?

CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries with bullies and to be more effective at work and in your life. Sound good?
Here’s the LINK


Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.


Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Filed Under: bullying in the workplace, Communication, Communication Skills, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Conflict in the Workplace, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Internal stress, Professional Development, Respect in the Workplace
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, resolve conflict and interpersonal issues, stress

September 20, 2015 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

“Got” Personality Issues at Work?

conflict 2 men staringYou Really Like Going to Work…Except For: 

  • The colleague who drives you crazy
  • Your team who is having it’s own drama
  • Cliques of like-minded people who are very different than you

If you can relate to these issues, believe me, you are NOT alone!

So, Joyce, What Can I Do When Colleagues Drive ME Crazy Because They Are Not Like Me?

It’s not an easy answer BUT we can resolve this issue. Remind yourself that we can’t put our head on the shoulders of anybody else. Realize that some people are methodical while others like spontaneity. Neither one is better than the other. They are just different behavioral styles. Talk to your team member and spin your discussion positively. Use your humor about your differences that agreeing to disagree is a great first step.  Check out past posts on Different Equals Different…Different Does Not Equal Wrong. 
The strategy below will backfire if your team lacks trust with each other.  Send me a private email before you attempt to have this conversation at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Joyce, Give Me a Strategy to Use…PLEASE!

Glad that you asked. This is an exercise that I use during my Communicate with Impact Training.
Ask the person (Let’s call him Brad) if he is willing to have a productive and honest conversation to improve communication. If Brad agrees,  start asking him what you do that he appreciates. Let Brad know that you appreciate hearing his statement. It’s now your turn to do the same with Brad.

Now comes the tricky part of the strategy. Ask Brad to tell you what you do that drives him crazy. Set a ground rule that this is supposed to be a positive experience…not a boxing match! It’s important for you to either ask Brad for more clarification or thank him for his openness. Now it’s your turn to do the same. Becoming defensive is not a good thing, so make sure and stop yourself from making excuses.

Check out my article on Creating a Culture of Excellence to learn more on how to have this important conversation.

What About You?  It’s Your Turn!  I Want To Hear From You

What successful strategy have you used to clear the air with someone at work?
 CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered.

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries to get control back in your life. Sound good?

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, Communication Strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I teach clients to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

 

 

Filed Under: Collaboration Strategies, Communication, Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace, Continuous Improvement, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication, Increase Respect in the Workplace, Respect in the Workplace, Trust and transparency
Tagged With: Communication, constructive feedback, effective communication, how to improve communication skills

July 12, 2015 By Joyce Weiss 4 Comments

What Happens When YOU Give Constructive Feedback?

Copy (2) of photos from juicer 029This Week’s Question…
Are you usually satisfied with the response from others when you give constructive feedback?
This a challenge for many people…especially if they “think” the feedback was done well. 

Indications to See if The Feedback Was Successful…Or Not
The real test:  What responses did you receive after the feedback?  Look for actions after you give the feedback. 

  • Do you see positive changes in the person’s behavior or tasks?
  • Has your relationship improved?
  • Does the person have a new negative attitude towards you?

Joyce, What Can I do if the Person Didn’t React Well?
I would have an open and REAL conversation about this.  For example:  “Seth, I don’t want to create any stress between us.  I do want to continue growing our professional relationship.  I was caught off guard when I heard  sarcastic remarks because the constructive feedback was meant to help your career growth…not to be mean.  Please let me know how we can move forward because I see a lot of potential having you grow within our company.”  These comments may be too forward or not forward enough for you.  We ALL communicate in a different style.  My main goal when I work with others is to improve communication.  We need to take risks in order to create change.  Remember, “You Get What You Tolerate!”

So How About You?
What would you say to someone who didn’t react well to your constructive feedback?  Where do you need to improve your communication skills?  What questions do you have for me on this subject?

I Want to Hear From You
CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz.  You will get your results immediately and learn more about resolving communication challenges to be more effective at work and in your life.  Sound good? 
Here’s the LINK

Interested in More Resources to Watch Your Career Grow?
Check out my Communicate with Impact Master E-Course.  It’s a great way to learn the newest strategies very fast without having to go anywhere.  You can learn at your own pace from anywhere.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz.  You will get your results immediately and learn more strategies to grow your career and make time to do what you want to do in your life.  Sound good?  Here’s the LINK

Filed Under: Communication Skills, Conflict in the Workplace, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace
Tagged With: Communication, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, conflict in the workplace, constructive feedback, effective communication, how to improve communication skills

June 14, 2015 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Can We Really Have Tough Conversations With Our BOSS?

cartoon criticize you in publicGlad that you decided to find out the answer which is…It Depends!  Some bosses are open and welcome constructive feedback while others are so full of ego and don’t encourage an open dialogue.  I just returned from presenting several workshops at the US Chamber Institute in Madison WI.  It was a real privilege speaking with men and women who work in chambers or associations throughout the USA.  

One of the sessions I conducted was “Managing Upward.”  I posed the following question to them…”What are some or your challenges with your boss or upper management?” 

Here are some of their responses:

  • The boss not being available
  • There is no follow up on issues that require swift action
  • Not dealing with conflict and letting things slide
  • Meetings which waste our time
  • No accountability with the team
  • Not setting expectations and no one knows what they need to be doing
  • Not having trust with my boss

Ouch!  Is that enough?  The list was a lot longer and you will find more scenarios in future posts.

What would you do if your boss gave you negative feedback in front of your team?

Would you…

  • Stay silent?
  • Say something that you wished you didn’t say?
  • Get the respect that you deserved by being direct with respect?

This is always a tough situation because it depends on so many variables when communicating to upward management.  Here is one option that we practiced in the session.

I don’t want to be disrespectful.
I do want to clear the air.
“I was caught off guard yesterday when I received negative comments in front of my colleagues because I would have appreciated the important feedback in a one to one meeting.”

Let’s dissect this formula.  I don’t want…I do want will make most communication safe.  The group came up with some realistic answers for their own situations using this one strategy. 
I am…when…because is the power talk formula that I have mentioned MANY times in my posts.  This works like a charm.  I was caught off guard is a statement that has NO judgment.  It is how you feel.  Try using this and let me know what results you receive. 

What will you say to your boss if he or she gives you negative feedback in front of others?

Discover how your communications skills impact your success at work.
Click HERE to take the quiz.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

 PS Discover how your communication skills impact your success at work.
CLICK HERE to take the quiz.

Filed Under: Communication Skills, Conflict and Resolution Specialist, Conflict in the Workplace, Great Leaders, How to Improve Communication in the Workplace, Improving Communication, Increase Respect in the Workplace
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, constructive feedback, improving communication skills

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Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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