Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Different Does NOT Equal Wrong

cartoons share with neighbor biker 013

This blog post is the 2nd in the series taken from my book,
Take the Ride of Your Life!  Shift Gears for More Balance, Growth and Joy.
Dealing with conflict in the workplace takes a lot of courage at times!
Especially when you may be the only one with an opinion and your entire team disagrees with you.

Different equals different.  Different does not equal wrong.

 

 

 

Click here to find out how to receive your FREE poster on Fast Help for a Tense Workplace

ALYCE’S Story

Even on a broken old Schwinn, Alyce learned the importance of freedom and helping others.

Alyce is a crisis counselor for abused women. She understands the power of asking for and giving help.
She spent her earliest childhood in a Louisiana migrant camp.
She remembers watching her mom pick tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries,
apples, peaches, and cherries under broiling southern skies.

Alyce’s First Bike

“My first bike did not even have wheels.
It was a real old Schwinn.
Everybody took turns pushing each other on it, because it didn’t pedal,” she recalled.

“It had a big seat on it, and we pretty much taught ourselves to ‘ride’ it.
All the kids took turns holding the bike and pushed each other until we skinned our knees.
We had a ball.”
It wasn’t until Alyce turned eleven or twelve and moved to Michigan
that she got her first new bicycle.

Trouble in the Neighborhood

The family experienced racism in their new neighborhood,
but young Alyce and her sisters bounced right through it.

“We were the first black people to move in.
For a long time, the other parents wouldn’t let us play with their children,” she says.
“Eventually the kids outgrew it; we didn’t scare easily and we didn’t know any better.
We’d still go over to play even if they yelled at us.”

Learning Tolerance

Despite the pain racism caused, Alyce’s mother never allowed her daughters
to behave that way in return. “The prejudice made me a stronger person.
It made me realize that no matter what color a person is, you treat them
the way you want to be treated.”

Different Does Not Equal Wrong

Today Alyce’s home has become a shelter for the homeless.
“I always have a house full of children,” she says matter-of-factly.
“They’re people; something I do or say may help them.
Why should I be the one to turn them away?
I want everyone to remember and say, ‘She helped me.’ ”

Alyce’s Bike Lessons

When Alyce thinks about her bikes she has some keen insights.
“That first bike wasn’t complete. Yet, a bunch of kids got together
and supported each other so we could all play. Then all of a sudden, I
had a bike that I could ride myself. It’s like my life.
I love doing things with people, for people.
I’m much more content with this than being by myself.
I’m happy with my life.
Now I have a full bike with everything on it — and I’m sharing it.”

Asking for Help During Conflict

Many of us don’t ask for help because we think it is a sign of
weakness. Asking for help is a strength. It is a sign that you are
taking care of your own needs. Sit down and create a list of people
who can help you feel less pressured. Problem-solving gives you
control of the situation; it allows you to create your own positive
environment amid the stress of everyday chaos.

Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another technique that moves people into action.
It gives control, versus staying stuck and complaining about the same old things.

Life means getting into or out of a crisis most of the time.
Instead of lying in bed feeling angry, hurt, or worried, take the
stress associated with crisis and turn it into positive energy.
Figure out what you need to do to create a more fulfilled life.
Problem solve, be innovative, and don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Gear-Shifting Action Steps

1. Write the name of a negative person who brings you down.
Problem-solve a plan to protect yourself.

2. Who is a cheerleader in your life?
What does this person do to encourage you?

3. Who are you a cheerleader for?
How do you encourage this person to be the best he or she can be?

4. On the left side of a paper, make a list of the situations that troubled you last year.
On the right side, list the effects of each situation.
Hopefully the items on the right side won’t seem so important.

5. What worried me one year ago?
What are the consequences?
At work?
At home?
With relationships?

6.  Now make a list of the troubles you’re facing today.
Visualize how they will turn out one year from now.
What worries me today?
What will be the consequences?
At work?
At home?
With relationships?

Was this helpful?
Please send me your bike story.  Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
       Who taught you how to ride?
       What memories do you have about that important time in your life?
       What lessons did you learn from your parents or other adults when you were a child?

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post.  Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. 

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

    I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here to order your own copy of Take the  Ride of Your Life!  It is an easy summer read.

PPS  Click here to find out how to receive your FREE  poster on Fast Help for a Tense Workplace

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What Has Life Taught YOU? Why Hardships Teach Us the Most Important Lessons!

joyce on bike reading book

Several Years ago I wrote a book, Take the Ride of Your Life!:  Shift Gears for More Balance, Growth and Joy.
This blog is a perfect place for me to share some of my favorite “inspirational and life changing stories” from people who I interviewed.
I’m hoping that you will identify with some of the stories to reduce conflict in the workplace and home.

The Theme of Take the Ride of Your Life

We are who we are today because of that turning point in our life when we learned how to ride our first 2 wheel bike without training wheels.

Think About These Questions

Who taught you how to ride your first bike?
Was it a positive or negative experience?
What memories do you have of that time in your life?
What kind of person are you today as a result of that ride?

David’s Story

David, an accountant, related this story:

“As a boy, I knew my father was proud of me. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to show it.
There wasn’t a whole lot of positive attitude in my house.”
David remembered the dictum, “You must behave,” was drilled into him and his siblings time and time again.

“In school I was the class clown. I couldn’t talk at home,” he said, “so I had to express myself elsewhere.”

David was around ten or eleven years old when he learned how to ride a bike.
“Some friends taught me. I used a neighborhood boy’s bike; I didn’t have one of my own.
I fell down, and got up again right away.

I felt good whenever I was on a bike, as if anything was possible.”

David’s wife has helped him focus on keeping a positive attitude.
Before they were married she told him: “I won’t marry you if you become like your father.”
Today, David is grateful. “I didn’t want to raise my kids the way my father raised me.”

Click this link to read testimonials and order your own copy of the book of Take the Ride of Your Life!

Quote from Actress Mary Tyler Moore

You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.
As I look back on the times in my life that taught me the most, they were the difficult times.
By surviving them, I gained a confidence in myself I never could have achieved if I’d led a totally happy life.

Was this helpful?
Please send me your bike story.  Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
       Who taught you how to ride?
       What memories do you have about that important time in your life?
       What lessons did you learn from your parents or other adults when you were a child?

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post.  Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. 

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

    I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here to order your own copy of Take the  Ride of Your Life!  It is an easy summer read.

 

 

 

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So, Do You Think You Have a Strong Team?

cartoon oops fb out of time

Skip the morning donuts and see your team get stronger!

Many people “think” that they have a strong team, yet reality does not always match this perception!
There are usually hidden agendas and conflict in the workplace.
Employees and leaders need to have an open forum to make sure that the team is as strong as possible.

You probably know that my role in all of this is to stir up conflict.
That’s right, I’m not kidding.
I find that some people don’t have these important communication skills.
I help people have tough conversations and give them the tools to improve conflict in the workplace.
There are many reasons why people don’t like to be open.

Check out this article link:  Tips to Create Winning Teams

Do you see constant improvement as part of your team culture?

Here are more ideas how to make your team even stronger:

  • Leaders and people at all levels have opportunity to show what they can do.
  • Most work is done by small teams of peers, led by people who are knowledgeable about specific areas.
  • People are continually challenged – as well as supported – in ways that enable them to meet those challenges.
  • Managers coach instead of dictate.
  • Status is replaced by ability and valuable involvement.
  • Rewards are based on actual contribution.

How do you make sure that your perception matches your team’s reality?
Specifically how do you create an open environment for people to talk to each other?
Please send me how you do this in the comment section below.

Was this helpful?

Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Feel free to share these tips with your team – just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
(Joyce Weiss Training and Development LLC >  www.JoyceWeiss.com)

Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

For more information, articles and podcasts, visit Joyce’s website

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant
and remember…
YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE

PS  Remember to check out this article link:  Tips to Create Winning Teams

 

 

 

 

 

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Joyce’s Recommendation of a GREAT Book

question marksI just read a very powerful and interesting book that blew me away!

The ideas will help reduce conflict in the workplace and immediately improve morale.

You don’t need to be a leader to read this book.

Check out the book only if  you want to think about the importance of WHY you do the things you do and the impact on your future .

Simon Sinek has a simple but powerful model for inspirational leadership all starting with a golden circle and the question “Why?”
His examples include Apple, Martin Luther King, and the Wright brothers.

In 2009, Simon Sinek released the book “Start With Why” — a synopsis of the theory he has begun using to teach others how to become effective leaders and inspire change.

Check out this link to my podcast on “Bold Solutions to Boost the Bottom Line.”

 

 Here are some key points that “spoke” to me.

  •  People don’t buy WHAT you do but WHY you do it.
  • WHY is a belief that is consistent with your values.
  • Trust emerges when another person or company is driven by things other than their own self gain.
  • When you share the same values with others you will earn their trust.
  • The role of a great leader is to create an environment where great ideas can happen.
    Steve Jobs did not come up with the ideas for the ipod…others in the company did.
  • Great leaders serve those who serve them.
    Costko takes care of their employees and the results are reciprocal.

 My WHY is that I get to inspire others to do things to make their life a bit easier.

I help people have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Once I became clear on my WHY it is so much easier to connect with people who want what I offer to them.

Here is a direct quote from Start with Why

“If you believe what we believe and you believe that the things we do can help you, then we are better.
Our goal is to find clients who believe what we believe and work together so that we can all succeed.
We’re looking for people to stand shoulder to shoulder with us in pursuit of the same goal”

 As some of you know I have launched a new FREE communicate with impact assessment which includes a 15 minute phone evaluation. I decided to do this to introduce the new on Demand E-Course, Communicate with Impact. I realize that not every client will be interested in the assessment or course. This is a good thing. I also realize that the clients who see the value for their professional growth and their team will take the assessment and tell others about the E-Course.

Click here if you want to take the FREE Communication Assessment.
Once you take it, we can set up a time for a 15 minute phone evaluation where you will get a personalized action plan.

 

I have a few of questions for you…

  • Are you very specific on the reasons why you do what you do?
  • Do you communicate your WHY to your clients or prospects?
  • Do you market to the right clients?

Feel free to send me your answers to these questions.

I will respond and give you some ideas on how you can become as specific as possible.

 Was this helpful?

Please share this post with your team or others who you feel will benefit from the content.

Just be sure to give Joyce Weiss credit. (Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant,  JoyceWeiss.com)

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss

and Remember…You GET with YOU tolerate!

PS
Remember…Check out this link to my podcast on “Bold Solutions to Boost the Bottom Line.”

 

Click here for the FREE Communication Assessment

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What to do with Those “Falling Star Employees!”

cartoon good attitude its freeMany of my loyal readers have asked me to write about how to deal with “middle stars” and  “falling stars” on their team to reduce conflict in the workplace.

The biggest conflict is how NOT to burn out your “superstars” because they do what they do so well. At times leaders stop asking the “falling stars” because they under perform.

Are you asking yourself…”Joyce tell me all ready what do I do with these unmotivated people?”
Ok, here is how I have helped my clients get control of this issue.

Hit this link to share an important yet short video on “The Importance of Feeling Committed to Your Job” with your team.

Who are the “middle stars?:

  • Some days they are great and other days they are not so great.
  • They are inconsistent.
  • They may not want to be “superstars” and only want to do their work and go home.

Here’s some ideas on how to deal with “the middle stars.”

  • Are your expectations clear when you communicate with them?
  • Do they know how they will be held accountable?
  • Are they facing obstacles that are stopping them?
  • Can they be mentored by a “superstar?”

Remember, every person will not be a “superstar.”

  • These people can either move up and improve or move down and become a “falling star.”
  • You have to decide if they can be saved.
  • You can give them the tools and training.

Who are the “falling stars?”

  • This is usually not a large group.
  • Their impact WILL take up your valuable time.
  •  They fail to carry their fair share of the work.
  • They are uncooperative.
  • They are chronically late.
  • They are just getting by.
  •  They need to improve or be replaced

You are not doing your job if you are not taking care of this group!

You can involve both of these groups to see if they want to grow

  • Invite them to meetings and ask for their input.
  • Delegate easy tasks to see if they follow through.
  • Ask them to give short presentations to their team.

I coach my clients to tell every new employee that “dead weight” will not be tolerated.

Remember, you get what you tolerate!

Identify these people and either train them or find others who can take your company far into the future.

Concentrate on taking the “falling stars and middle stars” to the next level.

Recognize your “superstars” so they don’t disengage.

This will help you reduce conflict in the workplace immediately.

Your “superstars” will get the positive attention that they deserve and your “middle and falling stars” will learn what they need to do to continue being part of the team…or not.

Raising the bar of your organization will help you be successful in the future.

Was this helpful?
Please share how you handle your disengaged employees in the comment section below this blog post.
Feel free to share any of Joyce’s blog posts with your team or others who you feel will benefit from the ideas…
Just be sure to give Joyce Weiss credit for the information.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep!

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

Remember to check out this link to share this short yet  important video on
“The importance of Feeling Committed to Your Job” with your team.

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831