Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Are YOU A Target for A Bully?

mean little boyI’m creating a new workshop on 2 difficult people who are creating a lot of stress for my clients.  Think for a moment who these may be.  If you guessed Bullies and Narcissists you’re correct.  The next few blogs will contain new information about these 2 personality disorders with “possible” strategies on how to deal with them.  I said possible because at times there are NO solutions if the bully or narcissist is high on the personality disorder charts.

I started thinking about my own life and if I was ever a target.  I was surprised when I realized that I was a target not too long ago.  I didn’t even realize this until I started doing research for my clients.  Stay tuned because I will share my story to start you thinking IF you have also been a target. 

Facts About Bullies

Bullies don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s health…or your business’s fiscal health.

  • Bullying is experienced by more than 1/3 of the US workforce
  • Bullying is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment

The majority (68%) of bullying is same gender harassment
 

What is it? Bullying is VIOLENCE

  • Verbal abuse, intimidation, humiliation
  • Sabotage over a significant amount of time
  • Could be bosses, coworkers, friends, relatives, or clients
  • Mistreatment is severe enough to compromise a worker’s health
  • Interpersonal destruction

It’s All about the Bully’s personal agenda


Kinds of Bullies

  • The screaming or verbal bully: screams or throws things:
          words hurt & they humiliate the target
  • The constant critic: Bullies say how incompetent the target is which can cause career destruction
  • The 2 headed snake: destroys by spreading rumors with work teams
  • The gatekeeper: controls by withholding resources necessary for targets to succeed
  • The sadistic or narcissistic bully: lacks empathy towards others
  • The physical bully: action oriented
  • The serial bully: bully seems charming while the target is looked upon as a whiny victim
  • Gang bullies: enjoy being part of the gang

     

     AM I Being Bullied?

  • You are miserable
  • Your work is sabotaged
  • You’re caught off guard and think about the ramifications later on
  • Lack of scars make others think you (the target) is exaggerating

     


    Why me?

  • The best and brightest are targeted
  • You pose a threat somehow to someone who is not developed as a moral human being

     
    Who Gets targeted?

  • Unlike schoolyard bullying, you were not targeted because you were a “loner” without friends to stand up to the bullying gang
  • You’re not a weakling
  • You were targeted because you posed a threat to him or her
  • This is in the mind of the bully
  • Targets are more technically skilled than the bully
  • Targets are better liked and have better social skills
  • Targets have a sense of integrity

Stay tuned for the next blog which will explore why employers make Bullying worse and what the best and brightest companies are doing to put a stop to this epidemic.


 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me when you were targeted by a bully.  Did you resolve the situation or not? 


Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries with bullies and to be more effective at work and in your life. Sound good?
Here’s the LINK


Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.


Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

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Travel Can be Dangerous: Select Compatable Companions

This new series on “Working with Jerks” is really speaking to many of you.  I have received more private emails about readers’ nightmares concerning difficult people in their personal and professional life.  Let’s see if you can relate with this story.  I will be asking you to share your ideas on how you would have handled the situation.

George’s Travel Nightmare

George went on a trip to Arizona with an alleged good friend of his…Jim.  George came down with the flu and could not participate in the side trips.  George had a high temperature and was upset that he could not partake in the activities.  Here comes the DRAMA!  Can you guess what Jim said to George?  If you guessed that he was sensitive to George’s situation, you are wrong.  Each day Jim said, “George you missed such great experiences.    I can’t believe that you wasted your time sleeping instead of pushing yourself.”  This trip ended a good relationship.  George saw another side of Jim.  He could not continue being Jim’s friend after Jim showed such insensitivity. 

Joyce, What Do You Think?

I spoke to George a few times to make sure that I understood exactly what happened.  I asked him if Jim was just sharing his excitement about his experience and missed his friend.  George told me that Jim was been insensitive and was not concerned at all.  I do realize that there are always 3 sides of every story…George’s side, Jim’s side, and the other side!  If I interviewed Jim, I probably would have heard a totally different explanation. We don’t see how others see us.  This is usually the largest communication breakdown.  George told me that he “should have” spoken to Jim while on the trip.  I suggested that he could still have that tough conversation.  George does not want to continue the friendship. 

I recently went on a vacation with friends and we constantly teased each other about how we don’t see ourselves as others do.  Humor worked with us because we all got into the action.  No one was singled out like Jim did to George.  It’s your turn to share what you would have done in this situation.

What Would You Do If You Were George? 

Would you …  
       Stay silent and not bring this up to Jim?
       Become sarcastic and say something like,  “You are an insensitive jerk.”

Or, would you say, “I don’t want to create stress between us.  I do want to clear the air.  I was  caught off guard when  I  heard the comments about how much I missed while I had the flu.  Those comments didn’t help me one bit.  I felt bad enough that I missed all of the excitement.”

CLICK HERE to watch a short video on my blog, “Why You Have to Run Away From Negatoids.”

 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your thoughts on what you would have done in a similar situation.  I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own communication issues and conflict in the workplace.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

 PS  Click HERE to watch a short video on my blog, “Why You Have to Run Away From Negatoids.”

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When You Work With A Jerk: Story #2

conflict fighting over money pileSome of you may be thinking that these articles were written just for you especially if your workplace has colleagues who don’t know how to work well with others.  Then again some of you may not relate to these examples of working with a jerk because your workplace is conflict free…lucky you!

This week’s story is one that really rocked my boat.  A few of my clients were discussing Pam, a manager who is extremely competitive during  my Be Direct with Respect® trainings.  Pam will do what ever she can to show her boss that she is the star manager who deserves a promotion.  Pam secretly took a video on her cell phone while Todd, another manager was making a presentation to a client.  Pam hoped to show her boss that Todd’s thick accent was a communication issue.  The  other team members understood Todd and most importantly the client did too.  Pam wanted to shine and let her boss know that Todd’s “language barrier” was stopping the team from making more sales. 

I have three questions for you:

1.  What would you do if you were the team members who thought Pam was out of line?
2.  What would you do if you were Pam’s boss?
3.  What would you do if you were Todd and found out what Pam did to you?

Click HERE to send me your response how you would react to the 3 questions above.

So, Joyce What Do You Think?

I will share your responses when after you send them to me at the link below.  The main idea is that trust is non existent on this team.  Expectations and communication have to be clear – which is the leader’s responsibility.  Competition works great especially with sales teams.  Brutal cut throat competition does not.  Think about your siblings and how they wanted mom and dad to love them the most.  🙂  It is not a pretty picture and at work it’s even worse.

Click HERE to read Article 1 on Working with a Jerk.

 Click HERE to read my article on So, Do You Think You Have a Strong Team?

 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant and Business Therapist

I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

 Click HERE to read my article on so, Do You Think You Have a Strong Team?

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Complaints Reveal A Lot About A Person

mean little boyThere are times when most of us feel empathy for others who make legitimate complaints about health, relationships, work etc.  BUT there are other times when the complaints are so outrageous that we want to walk away or yell at the other person.  I was at a restaurant the other day and heard the following conversations:

“My house is so dusty and I can’t wait for the crew to leave!” You may be thinking so, Joyce what’s the big deal? The complainer is so lucky to have the resources to have her house remodeled. Dirt and dust are part of the reality when we are able to have home improvement. It is what it is.

This person’s friend didn’t miss a beat and in a VERY whiny voice said, “I’m not looking forward to going home because I have to pack for our 3 week cruise.” Again, you may be more tolerant to complainers than I am. This traveler is fortunate to go on such a luxurious vacation and packing is part of the equation when one travels. It is what it is! These 2 friends are perfect for each other.

So, Joyce, What are you telling us?

Complaints reveal a lot about the person who is speaking. We all know spoiled adults who sound like 2 year old children who are inconvenienced. They don’t do well when either large or small changes happen in their life. It can be a huge stress if we are unfortunate enough to work or live with people like this. Of course we all can turn into complainers at times…we are all human. I’m talking about the chronic complainer.

Here are 2 questions for you

1. What is a complaint that drives you crazy?

2. How do you handle people who are chronic complainers?

Click HERE to send me your responses

Click HERE for my article on Stop Complainers at Work or Home.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, accountability coach, and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
How do I do this?
I teach them to tackle the tough conversations with bullies and negative people to build employee engagement, accountability, and rock star performance…
The Result? My clients resolve their conflict and they get a better night’s sleep!

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Click HERE to discover Joyce’s books that will bring a smile to your face while learning how to deal with those tough people in your life.

Click HERE for my article on Stop Complainers at Work or Home.

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Why You HAVE to Run Away From Negatoids

If you ever are in one of my training sessions you will probably hear me saying,  “Don’t walk away from negative people…Run!” 
Why? mean old lady

Negative people are…

  • toxic
  • boring
  • dangerous
  • energy drainers      

Is that enough already?

They wallow in their problems and don’t focus on solutions.  They want to suck us in and join their PITY PARTY so they feel better about themselves.  The interesting thing is that most people want to run away from them, but never think that they can.  It’s human nature to feel obligated to listen to complainers because we don’t want to be rude.  How about giving this a new spin…They are being rude and taking your valuable time while sucking all of your energy.  There is a fine line between listening to someone who is complaining and getting pulled into their toxic behavior. 

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any!

Joyce, How Can I Put a Different Spin on the Negativo?

You can avoid getting drawn in by setting limits and distancing yourself from them.  One of my clients gave me this brilliant idea.  If you are a non smoker and a person is smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the secondhand smoke?  Of course not.  You’d distance yourself.  You need to start doing the same with complainers.  Of course if you run away from a negative person and they continue to follow you, I strongly suggest that you have the honest and tough conversation by using Be Direct with Respect®. 

Click on this link to watch my short video to help you reduce conflict in the workplace and deal with these negatoids. 

I want to hear from you!  … [Continue reading]

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831