There are times when most of us feel empathy for others who make legitimate complaints about health, relationships, work etc. BUT there are other times when the complaints are so outrageous that we want to walk away or yell at the other person. I was at a restaurant the other day and heard the following conversations:
“My house is so dusty and I can’t wait for the crew to leave!” You may be thinking so, Joyce what’s the big deal? The complainer is so lucky to have the resources to have her house remodeled. Dirt and dust are part of the reality when we are able to have home improvement. It is what it is.
This person’s friend didn’t miss a beat and in a VERY whiny voice said, “I’m not looking forward to going home because I have to pack for our 3 week cruise.” Again, you may be more tolerant to complainers than I am. This traveler is fortunate to go on such a luxurious vacation and packing is part of the equation when one travels. It is what it is! These 2 friends are perfect for each other.
So, Joyce, What are you telling us?
Complaints reveal a lot about the person who is speaking. We all know spoiled adults who sound like 2 year old children who are inconvenienced. They don’t do well when either large or small changes happen in their life. It can be a huge stress if we are unfortunate enough to work or live with people like this. Of course we all can turn into complainers at times…we are all human. I’m talking about the chronic complainer.
Here are 2 questions for you
1. What is a complaint that drives you crazy?
2. How do you handle people who are chronic complainers?
Click HERE for my article on Stop Complainers at Work or Home.
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Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Business Conflict Resolution Consultant
I help people become top level leaders who get GREAT results.
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Click HERE for my article on Stop Complainers at Work or Home.
Angie Hibben says
A complaint that drives me crazy is people who all they do is complain. They never have anything nice to say or positive and I just get tired of listening to them. They are self-centered people who will never be happy.
If it is someone who is chronically complaining on facebook, I tend to stop following them or reacting. There is the “Crying Wolf” syndrome when you hear so much complaining all the time that you don’t know when to react and when to just ignore them.
I found myself thinking negatively last week and being frustrated with my job, my community etc. and then it dawned on my how negative I was being. I figured out part was due to spring allergies and not feeling well, part was due to an upcoming community election which I feel my hands are tied in as I can’t express my thoughts or views or even who I am voting for because of my job and part was just frustration in general over things I couldn’t control. I decided to pick myself up by my bootstraps, try to ignore negative people and focus on my health & husband’s health, my job and my life.
Everyone has days that are bad, health or marriage issues, etc. and that is ok to have sad days to..it is a part of life. We need to focus on the positive and try to work through things or the negativity will consume our lives. Be with people are positive and appreciate what they have.
Joyce Weiss says
Angie, you really communicated your frustration with complainers so well! Negativity in the workplace is contagious and it is getting worse. The main topic that I cover is how to deal with complainers. of course we become these complainers at times BUT we are both talking about CHRONIC energy drainers. Thanks for sending your thoughts and please continue doing so. I enjoy hearing from you!