respect activities Archives

December 14, 2011 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Reduce Conflict in the Workplace: Take Control of Difficult Conversations

Enhance Your Communication, Enhance Your Career

Communication woes plague professionals across the board: Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Rather than pushing back, getting even, or seething in silence, you can gain control of the situation and diplomatically deal with unkind people and behavior. The solution is called Verbal Aikido, and it’s a communications technique that won’t get you fired.

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense that uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker in order to create balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Verbal Aikido Basics

The cardinal rule of Verbal Aikido is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

EXAMPLE:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusatory, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a verbal aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses, thus giving the other person nothing to push against.

EXAMPLE:

Suppose you’re giving constructive criticism to a male co-worker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming emotional and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. However, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

There’s no doubt that being able to communicate effectively is a major determinant to professional success. Hostile and emotional reactions only add fuel to the discussion … while counter responses restore harmony and balance.

So the next time you’re the recipient of a verbal lashing, analyze the comment. If the other party is pushing your buttons, pull back. If the other party is pulling you in a direction you don’t want the conversation to go, push forward.

Remember these five tips:

1. Protect yourself from others who try to infect you with their anger and hostility by being Direct with Respect®.

2. No matter who is dishing out the verbal assault, whether it’s a client, coworker, or supervisor, never repeat the accusation. Doing so will only force you to absorb the negative message.

3. You can diffuse any verbal attack by dissecting the comment and then deciding whether to push or pull as you accept, redirect, and reaffirm the statement.

4. When you give the other party nothing to push against, you gain control of the situation.

You are able to remain positive during the conversation, not defensive.

5. When all else fails, have the courage to walk away from someone who is verbally attacking you. Don’t be a willing participant in an uncontrollable negative situation.

The more proficient you become at Verbal Aikido, the more natural it will become – and the stronger all your verbal communications will be.

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If you want to go further into your own professional growth, check out the link for the on-demand
Communicate with Impact Course

“Joyce Weiss has a knack for getting to the point when it comes to communication. Her Communicate with Impact program has taken us to another level in our communication through out all ranks of our organization. This has allowed us to cut through our personal barriers to get to the real issues at hand.”

Nancy Wasczenski, Presidnet, Parda Federal Credit Union

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Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
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Until next time…Remember

“You Get What You Tolerate!”
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant and Accountability Coach

December 12, 2011 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Improving Communication Skills Between Generations in the Workplace

Even though people in the various generations often don’t agree, there is one thing they all agree on: Respect for each other in the workplace simply doesn’t exist. Those in the older generations (the Silent Generation and the Baby Boomers) think the younger workers of today are lazy and disrespectful. On the other hand, the younger generations (Generation X and the Millennials) think the older workers are stuck in their ways and too closed-minded.

Despite these differences, people from the varying generations must work together productively for the company to succeed. If they let their generational outlooks get in the way, conflict will result.

Use the following suggestions to overcome generational differences so everyone can get along:

Know each others preferences

In a nutshell, the Silent Generation and the Baby Boomers prefer face-to-face communication. They like consensus, and they expect everyone to respect authority. They don’t like conflict and will avoid it at all costs.

Generation X and the Millennials love online meetings. They twitter each other and use e-mail the majority of the time. They’re not afraid to confront others; they want their voices heard. They dislike being on teams and prefer to work alone.

While we can’t automatically assume every single person in a particular generation behaves and thinks a certain way, knowing the generalities is a great first step. Therefore, take the initiative to learn about the other generations you work with. The more you understand their point of view and what events shaped their lives, the more you’ll be able to work with them without conflict.

Spend time with each other

Simply knowing each other’s preferences is one thing; it’s another to actually spend time learning from the person. Remember that learning and mentoring is a two- way street. Just as younger people can learn things from older people, the older generation can definitely learn from the “kids.”

As you do this, realize that you’ll likely have to make compromises. For example, a younger person can teach an older person about some new computer communication tool. The younger person will need to employ patience during the training, and the older person will need to keep an open mind to the new technology. You’ll also have to confront your own personal biases and work through them. Only then can you truly benefit from the interaction.

Be open to talking things out

The older people don’t understand what all the pierced noses and tattoos are about, while the younger people can’t comprehend how someone can be so loyal to a company. Instead of just wondering in silence, it’s time to talk it out with the very people you don’t understand. As long as the conversation stays respectful and does not turn into an accusatory yelling match, it will be a healthy way to gain broader understanding of each other. The sooner you start the conversation, the quicker you’ll resolve differences.

Bridge the Gap

Generational differences can be tough. However, when you are open and honest and take the time to really listen to each other, you can overcome any perceived differences real or otherwise. A little generational understanding can go a long way to boosting the company’s bottom line.

Check out the link below for more ideas to improve communication skills
Understanding 5 Generations to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

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Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team-Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
Sign up at the RSS feed on the blog site to be included in future blog posts from Joyce on this subject.

Until next time, Remember…

“You Get What You Tolerate!”
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant & Accountability Coach

December 11, 2011 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

5 Team Building Tips to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Will teamwork bring in more clients and keep the ones you’ve got? Yes!

People who work together may develop the dreaded “Who cares?” disease. Highly infectious, it slowly erodes all the good efforts that a few excellent workers produce.

However, it’s reversible if you take immediate action. Start with these 10 tips:

1. FIND OR CREATE A TEAM LEADER

Great teams don’t just happen. They are carefully and purposefully built by a team leader. Get someone to take charge – whether it’s the manager or anyone interested in group leadership.

2. DEVELOP GOOD COMMUNICATION

Now that the team leader is in place, call the team together. Focus on how individuals can improve skills and finances and help the company grow only possible by working together.

3. FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR COMPANY NEEDS TO BE SUCCESSFUL

Every winning business starts out with a purposeful, short-term and long-range plan. Decide what the company goals are for the next day, week, month, and future.

4. ASSESS THE STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES AND NEEDS OF THE TEAM

When you know who is good at what, it’ll be easy to assign tasks to team members in order to reach the goals. Assign accordingly!

5. AGREE ON TEAM RULES

Successful teams have written rules which they develop themselves. Start with these helpful ones: Tell a person when you don’t agree, don’t talk about people behind their backs, and never be late for trivial reasons. Your team will get the idea after a few examples.

If you want to find out how your team can improve it’s working condition, check out Joyce’s consulting services. Joyce can come to your workplace for a customized program. Visit the link below to find out how you can reduce
conflict in the workplace!
You will also hear a podcast to give you more ideas to use with your team.

“Our team was tremendously impacted by the Team Building Program that Joyce Weiss presented to our office. There were several people on our team who did everything possible to avoid one another. During the sessions Joyce helped everyone see how the negative energy between those two individuals affected the entire office. Everyone was given the opportunity to express their concern – which really helped. The best part of the training was when Joyce taught us how to speak directly to each other in a respectful way. By the end of the workshop there was a tremendous difference in our team. The stress level of everyone dissolved. Several weeks went by and I noticed the two people that had the main issue with one another were having a conversation with each other. I called Joyce immediately to let her know how she really left a positive impact on our office. Thank you Joyce!” –

Cpl Steve A. Richardson, Jr, Regional Contracting Office. Marine Forces Reserve

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Let us hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team-Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
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Until next time…Remember

“You Get What You Tolerate!”
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Consultant & Accountability Coach

July 12, 2011 By Joyce Weiss 2 Comments

How to Increase Respect in the Workplace and Reduce Stress

Do you want to increase respect in the workplace?

Do you want to re-energize your team?

Do you want to reduce conflict and stress?

If you said “yes” to even one question…please continue reading!

All teams need a wake up call from time to time – an energy boost or an attitude adjustment. How do you know when it’s time for your team to get re-energized? Look at them. Is there energy in the team? Are they communicating with respect? Do your teams make time for stress relief exercises? Are people excited about work? Are employees talking to each other? Is there laughter and fun in the air? If you answered “no” to even one of these questions, then it could be time for you to initiate your team for ideas on how to increase respect and reduce stress. It helps if you are open and will use some of their ideas.

For many companies, it’s the “same old” routine day in and day out. People grudgingly go through the motions of work, but they don’t have their heart into it. There’s so much stress or negativity in the air that you can cut it with a knife. The silence is deafening, and when someone does talk, it’s laced with sarcasm and retaliation…there is an over abundance of conflict in the workplace.

But work doesn’t have to be this way. You can help your team learn new facts about stress so everyone is focused and having fun again. Here’s how.

Create a stress relief committee.

Ask for volunteers to head a stress relief committee. Typically the people who want this role are the overly optimistic people who are full of energy anyway, but that’s okay. You need someone to take the lead. Empower the committee to determine when the team needs to do various stress relief exercises and allow them to organize a group break so everyone can recharge.

Ask the group for their input. Ask them the question…What does respect mean?

You can’t mandate what the team “should” do to reduce stress and re-energize. That approach will always backfire because someone (or maybe everyone) will think the activity is “dumb” or a “waste of time.” Therefore, have the stress relief committee find out what each person would like to do to reduce stress and increase respect in the workplace. It could be anything from bringing in a chair masseuse once a month to getting everyone to dance to some upbeat music to having a 15-minute silence break. There are numerous respect activities and I will include a few examples in the next article. The possibilities are endless so long as you get everyone’s input.

Check out this blog post on New Facts about Stress to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace.

Address the nay-sayers.

Invariably you’ll have at least one person who won’t want to go along with the group’s activity. The key to winning this person over is to find out what he or she needs to do to reduce stress. Whatever you do, don’t let the nay-sayer sit out from the designated activity. That will only cause others to look down on him or her and erode the team’s spirit and increase workplace gossip. Instead, say to the person, “As the manager, it’s my job to make sure everyone has some stress relief. Tell me what will help you re-energize.” Listen to what the person says and do that activity next (as long as he or she participates in the current activity).

The Energy to Succeed

Everyone needs a fun break from time to time – an escape from the stresses of work and life. So give your team the opportunity to discuss how to reduce stress to increase respect in the workplace. By doing so, they’ll have the strength and creativity to get more done in less time…and with better results.

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What is your most pressing issue on your conflict in the workplace?
Let us hear your thoughts in the comment box below.
Feel free to share these tips with your team – Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
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For more information, articles and podcasts, visit https://www.joyceweiss.com

Until next time…REMEMBER
YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE!

Joyce Weiss