Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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A Secret to Gain Control In Tough Conversations

Have you ever responded to a person and wished that you did not hear what came out of your mouth? We can ALL answer a loud, “YES, Joyce!”  I have done the same thing at times.  The good news is that this post describes a secret tool that I share with my clients and it really works.

The video below is # 18 from my video series:  20 Tips to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace. 

 We all hear the words stimulus and response.

  • The stimulus is something that happens to us…
    For example when someone speaks in a sarcastic way.
  • The response is how we react to something.
    In this example it would be how we react to the sarcasm.

 I’d like to add creating a gap to our equation. This is where you decide how to react. I always suggest that we take a breath and pause for a quick moment to decide what you want to say to the person.

 You can react in the following ways when you create a gap:

  • Use sarcasm
  • Ignore them
  • Take revenge
  • Let it go
  • Thank them

The Rake Story

One of my favorite stories is the rake story. You go to a neighbor to ask him to borrow his rake and he says, “No.” Next week he comes to your house and asks to borrow your shovel. You can either:

  • Say “You’ve got to be kidding.”
  • You can give it to him with a sarcastic comment such as, “I’m better than you.”
  • You don’t say anything and give him a mean look.
  • Or you can ask him the reason why he did not give you the rake and give him the shovel without any hesitation.

What is a Good Answer?

I recommend that we ask ourselves, “What is the best way to respond so that we feel good about ourselves?” It does help to let go of things that happened yesterday and to give up revenge. Keeping score takes too much energy.

We usually have more ways to respond. We don’t have to get defensive, be sarcastic, take revenge or suffer in silence. Of course we don’t always respond the best way we can. Take a moment and ask yourself what you learned about your response so that you don’t repeat this pattern. It is better to pull back and not push someone when they attack you with sarcasm.

I hope that these tips will help you take your communication to a new level.

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns.  What is your experience with either using the gap or not using the gap?

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

Send me any comments that you may have about this article.  Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home. There may be someone in your life who is feeling stressed out…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. Let them know about the “Communicate with Impact Weekly” so they can sign up for their own weekly articles.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is a recognized expert on working with clients to build leadership and communication skills that make them top performers in their industry.  Joyce is an author, Communication Strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional.  Call 800.713.1926 or email:  Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com and explore options on working with Joyce to learn powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations.

Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

CLICK HERE to sign up for your FREE Video Series 20 Tips to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace

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Mentoring Programs Produce Great Outcomes

Does your company believe in mentoring new employees or people who want to develop their leadership skills?

This article will show you why mentoring is a great way to produce great outcomes and increase your bottom line. 

This is a perfect topic since January is National Mentoring Month.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. – Winston Churchill, Prime Minister of United Kingdom

Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction. – John Crawford Crosby, American Politician

Research on Mentoring from The American Society for Training and Development

  • Training alone increased manager productivity by 24%
  • Mentoring combined with coaching and training increased productivity by 88%

National Poll Conducted by AOL Time Warner Foundation

  • 57 million adults would consider some form of mentoring
  • 99% of individuals already in a formal mentoring relationship would recommend mentoring to others

Joyce’s Research

  • My clients express that mentoring programs keep their star employees from leaving the company
  • These employees learn from the best and brightest in the company
  • All mentees are encouraged to change mentors if and when they feel the relationship is not helpful

CLICK HERE for my in depth article on Why Successful People Believe in Mentoring

 I want to hear from you!

  • How does your company create mentorship programs? 
  • What has worked and what barriers did you have to overcome?

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is a recognized expert on working with clients to build leadership and communication skills that make them top performers in their industry.  Joyce is an author, communication strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional.  Call 800.713.1926 or email:  Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com and explore options on working with Joyce to learn powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations.

Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

 PS  CLICK HERE for my in depth article on Why Successful People Believe in Mentoring

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A Proven Tip- Improve Your Communication Skills Now

Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.  – John Lennon

John’s quote fits perfectly with today’s theme.  The toughest communication is one that you may have with yourself!

 Most of us think that we are great listeners and communicators. If we are as good as we “think” – why are there so many communication breakdowns at work or home?

The answer is…

Us! That’s right, you read this correctly. I am guilty of thinking the very same thing. I know this is true when giving directions for a group activity and the group looks at me like deer staring at headlights. It’s NOT them. It’s the way I gave the directions.  Believe me, I am continuously learning how to improve and I’m a Communication Strategist!

So, Joyce How Can I Start Becoming a Better Communicator?

Look at the list below and see what areas you need to develop in order to communicate better.

  • Be brief and concise-get to the point
  • Be forceful and definite rather than hesitant and apologetic
  • Talk in specifics-give examples and details
  • Talk in generalizations and explanations
  • Let others know when I disagree with them
  • Let others know when I am getting irritated
  • Listen more than I speak with others
  • Talk in group discussions

Now What, Joyce?

Select one or two areas and make a conscious effort to work on these skills immediately. If you need to talk in group discussions, start giving your opinions or even ask a question. Some of these areas could be holding you back from growing as a leader.

How Can I Get More Ideas Like This?

Glad that you asked! If you sign up at Tipstobehappy.com you will receive my weekly series to support your development in your personal life, career, or team.

 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns and how you have improved your communication skills. What communication or leadership issues are you experiencing at work?  I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:

A recognized expert on resolving leadership and communication in the workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, Communication Strategist,  and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my clients’ quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

P.S. Sign up at Tipstobehappy.com to receive my weekly series to support your development in your personal life, career, or team.

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Latest Frustrations For Top Level Leaders

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them – Ernest Hemingway

Do you feel that your team is disengaged and employees are pushing back?

This post is all about the stress and frustrations that my clients feel at work. I interview them before each program and specific trends are appearing.

What are the frustrations?

Top level leaders are exhausted because they are taking over the responsibility from their directors or managers who are not having tough conversations with their team.

Why does this happen?

As you know many managers/directors are not trained sufficiently on how to deal with tough conversations. They have their job responsibilities and share their frustrations with their boss and the boss takes over!

Click HERE to read my article on How Effective Are You at Setting Boundaries at Work?

What can top leaders do to change this?

Top level leaders must have that tough conversation even if their senior staff pushes back and says, “I am too  too busy to have productive conversations with employees.” Everyone is busy. It is up to upper management to empower the entire team to feel safe and deal with bullies, narcissists, or low productive employees.

Specifically What Can I DO?

Stop rescuing your team by taking over their job responsibilities especially if your communication skills are excellent. This is your time to train managers and directors to do this on their own. You may think that I’m sounding like MRS. Tough Gal. I’m not. I hear complaints daily about employee morale and some leaders are in a rut and continue this same pattern.

Whose Responsibility is it anyway?

Everyone’s! Not just top leaders…the entire team. It will take you longer to resolve this conflict in the workplace especially if there is no trust or lack of training programs. But it is solvable. Recognize that there is a conflict with communication in your organization and do something immediately.

What Resources do you have for us?

So…What about you? I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered.

Please CLICK HERE to Leave a Comment or Question

What frustrations and stress do you experience at work with colleagues or leaders?  Send me any comments that you have about this article.  Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict at the workplace and home.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:

A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist,  and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or create long lasting positive change call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

PS Stay tuned for our new blog template that will be easier to read.  Don’t worry, the content will still contain strategies on how to build employee engagement, accountability and your quality of life!

PPS  Click HERE to read my article on How to Set Boundaries at Work

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Difficult People Share The Following Behaviors

Hi, This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach and welcome to Communicate with Impact.

Due to such a great response from my viewers and readers, I created another video on how to deal with a very complicated difficult person…The Narcissist.  I suggest that you look at previous videos on my blog if you are new to Communicate with Impact.  You can start this fascinating journey with us.  Yes, I said, “fascinating!”  Many of my clients have discovered that they work or live with this difficult kind of person after watching my video series.  They are intrigued that they CAN gain control and live or work with less stress.

Enjoy the video below and make sure and comment in the comment section. 

Do The Difficult People in Your Life Show the Following Behaviors?

  • Act like everything is all about them
  • Make and break rules to fit their needs
  • Put you down
  • Demand whatever they want
  • Things have to be done their way
  • Believe they are superior to you and others
  • Crave constant praise and recognition
  • Are not empathetic to your needs
  • Can’t offer a genuine apology

Possible Results From the List Above

If you checked 6 out of 9 of the behaviors the difficult person may be a strong narcissist.  This is the toughest kind to deal with and you may not know how to deal with him or her. 

Narcissists Need to Achieve the Perfect Image

  • Recognition
  • Status
  • Being envied
  • Total self-absorption

Remember

There is definitely a pattern that most narcissists share.  The difficult person in your life may not be as strong as the ones who I cover in this series.

 I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns. I enjoy hearing from my readers plus they get their questions answered. Let me know what topics you want me to write about concerning your own conflict in the workplace “issues.”

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:

A recognized expert on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is an author, communication strategist,  and a Certified Speaking Professional. To book Joyce to speak at your event or company call: 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, on line professional growth coaching, and keynote speeches.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831