Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Toolbox Alert! A Code of Conduct Reinforces Accountability

Lately, I have been asked to help clients create a code of conduct for their companies.  It’s easy to do during a 1 1/2 hour training.  The results are impressive because people discuss expectations and ideas from everyone on the team.  People feel heard after the code of conduct is created – unless the code is not followed by everyone and lack of trust exists in the company.

This article will cover the following topics:

  • Why the code of conduct is an important tool
  • Challenges while you create the code of conduct
  • A reality check about the code of conduct

Why is the Code of Conduct Important?

code of conductThe code is an important tool to use because accountability becomes a reality.  You probably have created a mission, values that represent your company, and a vision.  The code is a valuable addition because it is how your colleagues communicate and act.

  • The code of conduct is a powerful set of rules that govern the internal behavior of any team.
  • The code is created by everyone on the team – from top to bottom.
  • Each team member is personally responsible and accountable for his or her behavior.

Challenges Creating the Code of Conduct

code of conductThe following questions need to be answered by the entire team:

  • How should we handle this behavior when there is a breach in the code?
  • How do we have the conversation when others break the code?
  • What words do we use when others break the code?

The main idea is to align everyone’s behavior to the company’s values, mission, and vision.

An Important Reality Check About the Code of Conduct

  • The team will not be happy all of the time.
  • Confrontation is part of the code.
  • At times team members will be put on the spot.
  • The code will protect everyone from abuse if bold honesty, accountability, and support exist.

You will receive more information on how you can set up a Code of Conduct next week in part 2.  Part 3 will have examples of Codes of Conduct from my clients.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how a code of conduct works in your company. What benefits have you seen?  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization build a positive culture HERE.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

 

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8 Words to Change Your Conversation with Complainers

Do you have complainers in your life who suck your energy by moaning about the same things?
Do you want to learn how to control these conversations?

How I stopped being so nice with complainers

Maya Angelou – American poet said, “Being kind doesn’t mean one has to be a mat.”

Her words spoke to me years ago.  I remember a turning point when I listened to friends who continually complained about aspects of their life.  Before I attained my Masters in Counseling my friends complained and I listened.  Nothing changed.  They didn’t alter their stories and repeatedly talked about their boss, colleagues or family members.

Eight powerful words to use with complainers

complainersI learned a phrase from a professor that made all the difference in these communications.  Are you ready to hear what these words are?

What are you going to do about it?

Some complainers will stop their whining and others won’t

I started to ask them, “What are you going to do about it?”  I was sincere and did my best not to sound judgmental.

It’s interesting to recall that some of my friends stopped calling me.  They didn’t like the new Joyce.  They are probably still complaining unless someone was able to help them see that these comments kept them stuck in the land of “poor me.”

On the flip side, many of my friends appreciated the magical eight-word phrase.  They started owning their situations and coming up with plans how they could move forward.

A real conversation with a complainer

complainers; negativity in the workplace | improving communicationA friend was having a difficult time at work and kept on grumbling how unfair her boss was by asking her to do things that were not in her job description.  I said, “I’m sorry to hear that you are having a tough time at work.  I’ll be glad to help you brainstorm how to find a new job or how to speak with your boss.  I’m not willing to listen to you rehash how unfair life is for you.  That’s not helping you move forward.”

She needed to hear these words.  She was ready to stop complaining.  She decided to start looking for different job opportunities where her skills would match her job.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you have stopped complainers from moaning all the time.  What stories or expressions do you use? You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Learn how my online coaching course – Communication Skills at Work will help you skyrocket your career.  Please check out the link HERE to watch a short video and read an article about the 1st week of the course.

This is Joyce Weiss

Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

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My Favorite Quote on Sarcasm

This quote is great for those of us who use sarcasm with those who understand our sense of humor.

#favoritequoteonsarcasm #oscarelevant #favoritequotes

Oscar Levant’s quote conveys different messages to us.  The first time I saw it, I started to laugh.  It was funny to me.  Other’s have taken the quote personally and think that they are being judged for using sarcasm.  Full disclosure here – I am a sarcastic person.  It works with certain people in a positive way and it backfires to those who don’t understand my humor.  I’m glad to say that my “sharp tongue” is under control most of the time! 😉

Sarcasm – Is it good or bad?

The answer is – it depends.

I have tough conversations with clients in my audience who tell me not to attempt to change the sarcastic culture on their team.  Interviewing team members is how I personalize each training.  I share the patterns that interviewees share with me during the workshop.  The facts are obvious about sarcasm.  Some people feel bullied because having a “sharpened tongue” is not part of their personality.

We all react to sarcasm differently

sarcasmThis is where it gets interesting.  The sarcastic team members say that everyone needs to lighten or toughen up and stop being so sensitive.  I actually agree with part of their sentiment.  Everyone thinks that they know the culture of their team or department without taking into consideration that the silent ones wish others would not communicate so brutally.

The definition of sarcasm

Webster defines sarcasm as “A cutting remark intended to wound.  An act of bitterness and a biting quality.”  Ouch!
There are times when the discussion in the training session goes really well and team members understand what their colleagues told me during the interviews.  There are times when this does not happen and bullying continues.  Certain people are set in their ways and refuse to look at the whole picture.

Let’s get real

Are you sarcastic?  If so, do you know that there are times when this kind of communication could be seen as bullying?  Are you sensitive to sarcasm?  If so, could you realize that the remarks have little to do with you and only the way this person communicates?  Awareness is the key.  I take the elephant out of the room when I see someone not reacting well to my humor by admitting that the comment was sarcastic and it has nothing to do with the listener.  This usually works.

I want to hear from you

  • Are you on a team where sarcasm is the norm?
  • Do you think that sarcasm is accepted by the team?
  • Are there team members who get picked on and no one does anything about this?
  • What can you bring up at meetings if sarcasm is getting in the way of your team’s communication?

Please respond on the comment section of the blog.  Feel free to send me a private email HERE.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

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Be in Charge When Bullies at Work Attack You or Others

The title is a bold one.  The more research I do on bullies at work, the more convinced I am that we need to deal with these mean-spirited people.  I work with some leaders who admit that they are intimidated by bullies at work and just ignore them.  This occurs more than you may think.  Most people let bullies get away with their rude and dangerous behavior because it’s too risky to confront them.  I get this!  I really do.  I also know how important it is for me to continue to provide training to leaders on this critical matter.

Please let me know which of the strategies below speak to you.

Strategy #1 on Bullies at Work:  Understand What Makes Bullies Tick

  • Bullies reject kind words of collaboration
  • They want to win – not get along with their victims
  • They intentionally hurt others
  • Bullies believe in the philosophy:  It’s my way or the highway

Strategy #2 on Bullies at Work:  Bullies Pursue Their Targetsbullies at work

  • Bullies admire those who stand up to them
  • Bullies push to see how much you can take
  • People who bully the bully get respect

Strategy #3 on Bullies at Work:  Stop Being a Victim

  • Be aware that the bully may get angry when you speak up
  • Decide if it’s worth the risk to stand up for yourself
  • Prepare a response to address the bully if he or she calls you – or others humiliating names

Strategy #4 on Bullies at Work:  The Power is Yours if You are a Leader bullies at work

  • It’s your responsibility to speak up when a bully takes over a meeting
  • Suffering in silence makes things worse
  • You are a role model to your team and will earn their respect when you stop bullies from intimidating others

Let’s Get Real

A friend of mine told me that she didn’t go to her 30th high school reunion because she was the target of several bullies.  She is now a top-level leader and does an excellent job stopping bullies at work from intimidating others.  She is also human and still has scars from her high school days.

I’ve personally dealt with bullies in my adult life.  I’ve used each strategy that I’ve written about in these articles.  It was difficult to recognize that I was playing victim to these bullies at work.  Once I did, things changed immediately.

There you have it – be in charge when a bully attacks.  Stay tuned, I have more to share in future articles.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on a bully at work who still controls you or others.  How can you stop him or her from intimating others?  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work HERE.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

P.S. Read an article on Is There A Bully at Work Who Makes Your Life Miserable? HERE

 

 

 

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Samuel Goldwyn’s Motivational Quote on Critics

motivational quote | Joyce Weiss | Career Coach

#motivationalquote #SamuelGoldwyn #favoritequoteaboutcritics

Keep Samuel Goldwyn’s motivational quote handy the next time someone “rains on your parade.”  I’m sure you can think of someone.  Right? I was showing a neighbor my new garden because it came out better than I ever dreamed.  Are you ready for her brilliant comment?  “Joyce, you should put woodchips on the dirt because it looks too much like a forest.” I decided not to respond because the whole idea was to create my garden so it would look natural – like a forest! 😉

We can decide to listen to our critics or simply ignore them.  This neighbor has a beautiful garden.  Her garden is manicured with all the pink flowers planted in perfect rows. I understand why she had to add her two-cents because my garden is totally different than hers.  I only wish I could always be as open to critical people when issues are a bit deeper.

I take constructive feedback very seriously because feedback is important to grow personally and professionally.  The problem with most people is that they forget an important word – constructive.  Sarcasm and judgment are not part of the equation to get good results.

It’s your turn.  Please comment in the blog or send me an email HERE when someone offered criticism that wasn’t constructive.

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831