Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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September 2, 2020 By Joyce Weiss

Find out Why Respect is So Important to Me. Are You Finally Ready to Get the Respect YOU Deserve?

As a Master Coach I hear the struggles of clients who experience bullies, poor performance, gossip, clicks, low morale, direct reports with no people skills, miscommunications, can I stop now? 🙂

After taking 4 courses on how to create and present engaging online programs, I decided to create a new online class that is rocking my clients. The video will give you information about our online course: Kick Conflict to the Curb that starts September 15th. The beginning of the video shares a “lesson” on verbal aikido – a strategic communication tool to help you gain control when others push you.

Take out the popcorn and enjoy it. Make sure and check out my story below on why getting respect is so important to me. You’ll get an inside look about your Master Coach.

Here’s my story on why respect is important to me.

A TV host found me online through my trademark, “Be Direct with Respect®.” He asked me to appear on his show, sharing why respect is so important to me. For once, I, the communication strategist, couldn’t think of a thing to say. Suddenly, I remembered a turning point I’d buried years before.

At 21, fresh out of college and a brand new teacher, I moved out on my own. While my parents had imbued me with a belief in hard work and persistence, I was still a free spirit with my self-esteem intact. Or so I thought. Then I met Jerry.

After a one-year courtship, we married. Then we argued—just like any couple. The problem was that Jerry is a talented attorney. Each time we disagreed, I felt like we were in court. Since I had no training in argumentation, I was no match. My outlook had always been positive and focused on fairness, but that situation was neither positive nor fair. I didn’t have a clue how to stand up for myself. After several months, all my energy was gone and I felt invisible and voiceless —as if I’d been zapped by the Dementors from Harry Potter. I didn’t want to leave him but I couldn’t continue as we were.

Instead, I became a woman on a mission. Assertiveness was my Holy Grail. Somehow, I would make my husband behave. However, reading The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner really opened my eyes. Dr. Lerner points out that when one person in a relationship changes the steps of a dance, the other follows. It became so clear! All that time, I had been trying to fix Jerry, and nothing had ever changed except my frustration level. Now I realized I had to alter the steps of the dance. It was me who needed to change. I’d have to take a risk and have a tough conversation the next time we disagreed.

The argument that broke this passive pattern involved my decision to go back to school and pursue a career in counseling and coaching. I was thrilled, and of course, I thought Jerry would be as delighted as I was. I couldn’t wait to share my new ideas with Mr. Lawyer. Imagine my shock when Jerry told me that it would be a waste of time. He wanted me to go into sales since he knew how focused and hardworking I was.

At that moment, the old Joyce disappeared. I kept calm, drew in a breath, and took a huge risk. “I am frustrated when I share my excitement about becoming a counselor because my ideas are discounted.” I had done it—I’d changed the dance steps! Jerry was surprised by my direct statement but realized I respected him and was not sarcastic. Most importantly, I’d respected myself by standing up for what was important to me.

That one conversation changed our entire relationship. It took many more books and months of coaching for both of us to change our steps, but it worked. We are still happily married. Of course, we still disagree, but now we interact as equals and there is no winning or losing. When people ask why I specialize in conflict management, I tell them that I married a lawyer. They laugh and think that I’m joking. You know the rest of my story.

What did you think of my story about respect? Can you relate?

I’d love to hear from you. Why is respect important to you? What’s your story?
Please send me a private email if you have a question about your conflict challenges. I will get back to you because connecting with my clients is #1 plus its so much fun to get to know each other better. You can always call my cell; 248.310.6998.

There’s more! Click HERE for our Kick Conflict to the Curb landing page which describes the new online course in detail. Feel free to contact me to see if the class is right for you or your team.
I’d love to save you a seat!

Have a GREAT week,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Queen of Conflict Resolution

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, Kick Conflict to the Curb Online Course
Tagged With: resolve conflict and interpersonal issues, Respect in the Workplace

January 7, 2020 By Joyce Weiss

Video #8: More Stories on Verbal Aikido to Help You Gain Control

Do you want to hear real examples of how you can use Verbal Aikido to gain control during tough conversations?

Welcome to video #8 in the series on working with bullies in the workplace. Today I will share real stories from my clients who practiced and perfected verbal aikido and put this powerful communication tool to use.

At times bullies leave us alone when we stand up to them because they know we’re up to the test when we pull back from their sarcasm or cruelty.  Are you ready for the two examples?

Example #1 on how to use verbal aikido to gain control of bullies

Sue told her bully, “Beth, don’t even start.” And Sue walked away.  The bully got the idea and didn’t bother her in the future.  Sue reached gain control | communication strategiesher bully!  It looks easy yet the reality is that it takes real courage just like Sue showed.  I’ve used this example several times and it works like a charm because I’ve practiced just like clients do with me.

Example #2 on how to use verbal aikido to gain control of bullies

A teenager who was shorter than most of her classmates was picked on by the mean kid in school when she said, “give me your sandwich shrimp.” My client told her bully, “Pick on someone who is your size” after she was ridiculed.  The mean guy stopped bullying her after this.

Joyce, let’s get real!

I know some of you are thinking that this sounds too good to be true.  At times verbal aikido works and at times it doesn’t.  You know by now my conviction – we need to plan and prepare for things to get worse or better.  It’s worth the risk when things improve after the tough conversation.

If you missed the previous videos in the series visit my youtube channel, blog or LinkedIn.  You will find previous videos in the series below.

Intro Video to Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace
Video #1:  Facts about Bullies in the Workplace
Video #2:  Are you a Target for a Bully
Video #3:  Why Bullying Happens
Video #4:  Does Your Organization Handle Bullies?
Video#5:  The Gap and Triggers to Gain Control
Video #6:  Changing Our Attitudes to Protect Ourselves from Bullies
Video #7:  Verbal Aikido to Stop Letting Others Push You

Stay Connected with Me

Feel free to send me a private email if you have a question on how you can deal with your bully.

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with negative people on your team.  What stories or expressions help you?
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at 800.713.1926 or send me a text at 248.310.6998 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule! 🙂

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Until next time

Have a great week

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, verbal aikido
Tagged With: gain control, Respect in the Workplace

December 17, 2019 By Joyce Weiss

Video #7: Verbal Aikido to Stop Bullies from Making You Feel Defensive

#bulliesintheworkplace #coach #verbalaikido

I have an important question for you:
Do you want to add an easy strategy in your tool-box to gain control with difficult people and bullies in the workplace?

Welcome to video #7 in the series “Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace”:  Verbal Aikido to gain control with bullies and difficult people. Today I’ll share how you can pull back when others push you with their negativity

Bullies in the Workplace Strategy #1:  At Times we Need to Bully the Bully

You heard me right.  Bullies admire those who speak with strength and don’t let bullies get away with their negative behavior. bullies in the workplace

Here’s an example I used with my coaching client who was tired of feeling defensive all the time when a bully constantly pushed her.

The bully said, “All our managers don’t know anything about how hard it is to work with our demanding clients.”  My client used to push back by saying, “How can you say that?” – pushing back.  She learned this new approach below after only a couple of sessions.

She agreed with the bully.  For example, “You’re right.  We may not understand how tough it is with these unhappy clients – please let me know how we can support your efforts.” This is an example of Verbal Aikido.  Pulling back and not pushing back.  I always say that it’s a huge risk using these strategies with bullies.  I also know that when it works out, it’s worth the risk.

Stay tuned for more examples of how clients gained control by using verbal aikido.

Bullies in the Workplace Strategy #2:  Work with a Communication Strategist

You may be ready or you know someone who wants to explore working with a career coach or communication strategist to go deep and bullies in the workplaceresolve communication challenges with difficult people or bullies in the workplace.  If you want to explore options working with me as your private coach or anyone who you feel could benefit from a few sessions – call me at 800.713.1926.  We will send you a new brochure that describes how coaching could be a good next step.

Find your voice with Joyce

Do you know how your communication impacts your success at work?  Take the FREE Communication assessment HERE and you will receive your scores immediately.  I will send you an email after you take the assessment with ideas that you can use to improve your communication skills.

Let’s connect on LinkedIn HERE.  You will find my article on Verbal Aikido on my LinkedIn profile HERE

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A. CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week
Remember…you get what you tolerate!

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, bullying in the workplace, verbal aikido
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, Respect in the Workplace

December 10, 2019 By Joyce Weiss

Video 6: Changing our Attitudes to Protect Ourselves from Bullies in the Workplace

Does your attitude affect how you deal or don’t deal with bullies in the workplace?

Welcome to video #6 in the series “Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace.”  This week’s post and video describe how our attitude affects our communication when we deal with bullies.  I know this is nothing new!  It’s all about attitude!

The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock someone down in order to feel tall!
Odetta, American Singer, and Actor
I would like to give bullies Odetta’s quote – wouldn’t you?

Strategy #1:  How Your Attitude Affects Your Interactions with Bullies

One of my coaching clients practiced how to make conversations safe with me before he had the tough conversation.  His bully actually listened to him after the interaction.  This bully was not aware that his words hurt others.  No one had the nerve to speak with him.  My client did and the bully now has respect for him.  Instead of saying, “Why do you like insulting our team members?”  He changed this to, “Let’s all discuss how we can communicate better with everyone on our team.”  The bully was included in the conversation and the team opened up with solid solutions and deep conversations.  A win/win was the result.

Strategy #2:  How Your Attitude Affects Your Interactions with Bullies

What can you do?

  • Stop complaining about the bully to others
  • Create a plan
  • Go to leadership
  • Practice the communication skills that you learned in the seriesYou can search for the entire series – Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace on the links below:
    LinkedIn, My YouTube Channel or This Blog:

Here’s a disclaimer!  It’s always a risk to have tough conversations.  At least you tried!  You didn’t stand still and take the constant sarcasm or criticism from this difficult person.

I want to Hear From You

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with negative people on your team.  What stories or expressions help you?  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Stay Connected with Joyce

Click the link for more information on how I can help you and your team with bullies in the workplace,
Please contact me at 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development.
There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule! 🙂

Send me an email
I 
will send you an article on Wave Goodbye to Workplace Feuds.

 

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

I hope you have a great week!

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, bullying in the workplace
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, how to improve communication skills

November 19, 2019 By Joyce Weiss

Video #5: The GAP and Triggers to Protect Yourself From Bullies in the Workplace

#bulliesintheworkplace #bullies #coach #coachingworks #bullyingprevention #bullyvideo

Do you know how to control yourself when bullies in the workplace push your hot buttons?

Welcome to the series Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the  Workplace.  This video gives you 2 strategies on how to protect yourself from bullies.

If you missed any of the previous videos, please click the links below:

Intro Video to Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace
Video #1:  Facts about Bullies in the Workplace
Video #2:  Are you a Target for a Bully
Video #3:  Why Bullying Happens
Video #4:  Does Your Organization Handle Bullies?

Bullies in the Workplace Strategy #1:  Use the GAP bullies in the workplace

  • The GAP helps us make a choice on how we react
  • It’s a space that we give ourselves to think about our response before we open our mouth
  • Get into the GAP instead of automatically responding
  • Recognize when you are angry and get into the GAP
  • Separate yourself from the criticism
  • Don’t take it personally

Bullies in the Workplace Strategy #2:  Know your Triggers

  • Be aware of who sets you off
  • People do irritating things because that’s who they are – not because of who we are
  • Prepare yourself before you see your trigger who drives you crazy
  • Remind yourself that you don’t have to push back
  • You can decide how to react

More Thoughts from Joyce

The GAP and knowing your TRIGGERS are 2 powerful strategies that get me through many professional and personal gatherings.
There are certain people who drive me crazy.  I am human! 🙂  I know who these people are and prepare myself to leave the conversation earlier than I did before and take a deep breath to remind myself that I don’t need to get sucked into their negativity.  Clients thank me for these 2 ideas since they work!

Please contact me at 800.713.1926 to explore options for working with me as your private coach.  Find your voice with Joyce is one of our new taglines.

Discover blind spots and how your communication impacts the success of your career.  All sessions are conducted on the phone to fit your schedule and budget.  The good news is that it usually only takes a few sessions to improve your communication skills.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you control bullies or questions on how to control your bully. What stories or expressions help you get through the stress? You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Please visit my YouTube channel or connect with me on LinkedIn where I have posted numerous stories about having tough conversations with difficult people.

This is Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

 

Have a great week.

Until next time, remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

If you missed any of the previous videos in the series, please click the links below:

Intro Video to Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace
Video #1:  Facts about Bullies in the Workplace
Video #2:  Are you a Target for a Bully
Video #3:  Why Bullying Happens
Video #4:  Does Your Organization Handle Bullies?

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, Bullying videos
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, work stress

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Joyce Wins Best of MichBusiness Award

Congratulations Joyce Weiss! Recipient of the ‘Best of MichBusiness 2016 One Person Wonder’ Award!   Read more...

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Certified Speaking Professional Designation through the National Speaker’s Association

Certified Speaking Professional Designation through the National Speaker’s Association

CE Instructor through Professional and Continuing Education (PACE)

CE Instructor through Professional and Continuing Education (PACE)

Certified as a Best Practices Company

Best Practices Company

Contact Joyce

Joyce Weiss
6737 Oyster Cove
West Bloomfield, MI 48323

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 1-248-681-5831

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