Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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June 21, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

2 Small but Powerful Tips to Handle Workplace Bullies

Your attitude affects how you handle workplace bullies.

Welcome to the series “Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace.” 
This week’s post describes how to change our attitude to feel more confident.  I know this is nothing new!  It’s all about attitude!

The better we feel about ourselves, the fewer times we have to knock someone down to feel tall!

Odetta, American Singer and Actor

I would like to give bullies Odetta’s quote – wouldn’t you?

Tip #1:  Your Attitude Affects How You Handle Workplace Bullies handle workplace bullies

 Brad, my coaching client, practiced how to make conversations safe with me before he had the tough conversation with his bully.

Brad’s bully listened to him after the interaction.  This bully was not aware that his words hurt others.  No one had the nerve to speak with him.  Brad did, and the bully now has respect for him. 

Instead of saying, “Why do you like insulting our team members?”  Brad changed this to, “Let’s discuss how we can communicate better with everyone on our team.”  The bully was included in the conversation. Everyone felt safe and discussed solid solutions.  A win/win was the result.

Tip #2:  Create a Plan to Handle Workplace Bullies

What can you do?

  • Stop complaining about the bully to others who can’t help you
  • Create a plan on how to start the conversation
  • Go to leadership or Human Resources
  • Practice the communication skills that you learned in past blog posts. You can also search for videos on my YouTube playlists HERE 

Here’s a disclaimer!  It’s always a risk to have tough conversations.  At least you tried!  You didn’t stand still and take this difficult person’s constant sarcasm or criticism.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

You are my loyal readers and are always welcome to reach out to me for a complimentary 20-minute session. Let’s start a great
discussion to discover how you can stop feeling stuck anywhere in your life. And resolve relationship issues at work or home.

It’s all about looking for the 2nd right answer and asking, “what else?”

Here’s the link if you want more information about working with me to resolve your relationship or career conflicts.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to reduce stress and conflict.
You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Thanks for reading, and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, bullying in the workplace
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, handle workplace bullies

June 14, 2022 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Workplace Bullying:  2 Steps to Overcome It and Fight Back | Part 1

This is Part 1 in a series of blogs that cover workplace bullying.

  • Do you have bullies at work?
  • Are you a target for these dangerous people?
  • What do leaders do to stop bullies?

    Indian Activist Gandhi said, “Bullies are always found where there are cowards.”

    This quote speaks such truth.  Bullies are like spoiled children who are jealous of others on the playground.


Facts About Workplace Bullying workplace bullies |challenges at work | bullies in the workplace

Bullying is a form of violence. In addition, they don’t have to throw a single punch to do lasting damage to another person’s heath. Plus, they affect your organization’s fiscal health.

Bullying is experienced by more than ⅓ of the Us workforce. And it is 4 times more prevalent than illegal harassment.

These facts must be shared with leaders who let workforce bullies get away with their behavior. Coaching clients who are not leaders share these facts with their boss.

A Description of  Workplace Bullying

  • Sabotage over a significant amount of time
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Intimidation
  • Humiliation

Mistreatment severe enough to compromise a worker’s health and interpersonal Destruction are both devastating for the bully’s target.

Add all of these together, and you’ll discover it’s about the bully’s agenda!

Look for more strategies next week on fighting back against workplace bullies.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

You are my loyal readers and are always welcome to contact me for a complimentary 20-minute session. Let’s start a great
discussion to discover how you can stop feeling stuck anywhere in your life.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel www.youtube.com/joyceweiss for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports
to reduce stress and conflict. You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Thanks for reading, and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, bullying in the workplace
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, conflict in the workplace

April 20, 2021 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Working with Rude People – Part 1

  • Do you work with rude people?
  • Are you ready to share your experience to reduce your stress?
  • Do you want to hear horror stories from my clients?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are in the right place!  😉

The next few articles will be about adults who act like children not playing nice in the sandbox.  I am NOT making any of them up.  These are true incidents that my clients have shared with me.  I have changed the business settings to protect the innocent. 🙂 

Working with Rude People: Story #1 Rude people | Communication Strategies

Bob and Gary are two colleagues who don’t get along.  The tension got out of hand when the following happened in their workplace. 

Bob realized that no matter what he said or did, Gary would do his best to ridicule Bob at meetings. 

One day Bob was standing by his desk and Gary walked by him and actually stepped on Bob’s feet! 

Working with Rude People: Questions to Ponder

Here Are Two Questions for You:

1.  What would you do or say if you were Bob?

2.  What would you do or say if you were the boss?

Please put your answers in the comment section below.  I will share your ideas in a future article. 

Click HERE to read my article on Cruel Words Take Root in Us

I want to hear from you!

There is so much rage these days! It would be great to start a conversation about rude people and behavior that you have seen.  Please share your story in the comment sections below.
I will be sharing my own experiences also because it seems like rudeness is the new normal these days.  Just saying!

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach and Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. I will be doing an extra masterclass soon because there was a technical glitch last week. I take care of my loyal clients and readers! A few of you couldn’t get into the zoom room because of this technical issue. 🙁 I’ve got you covered!  Let me know if you want to be invited to join the next FREE master class:  How to Feel Heard when No One is Listening without Losing Your Cool. I will send you the registration link when I hear from you.  

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, Rude People
Tagged With: conflict in the workplace, work stress

September 2, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Find out Why Respect is So Important to Me. Are You Finally Ready to Get the Respect YOU Deserve?

As a Master Coach I hear the struggles of clients who experience bullies, poor performance, gossip, clicks, low morale, direct reports with no people skills, miscommunications, can I stop now? 🙂

After taking 4 courses on how to create and present engaging online programs, I decided to create a new online class that is rocking my clients. The video will give you information about our online course: Kick Conflict to the Curb that starts September 15th. The beginning of the video shares a “lesson” on verbal aikido – a strategic communication tool to help you gain control when others push you.

Take out the popcorn and enjoy it. Make sure and check out my story below on why getting respect is so important to me. You’ll get an inside look about your Master Coach.

Here’s my story on why respect is important to me.

A TV host found me online through my trademark, “Be Direct with Respect®.” He asked me to appear on his show, sharing why respect is so important to me. For once, I, the communication strategist, couldn’t think of a thing to say. Suddenly, I remembered a turning point I’d buried years before.

At 21, fresh out of college and a brand new teacher, I moved out on my own. While my parents had imbued me with a belief in hard work and persistence, I was still a free spirit with my self-esteem intact. Or so I thought. Then I met Jerry.

After a one-year courtship, we married. Then we argued—just like any couple. The problem was that Jerry is a talented attorney. Each time we disagreed, I felt like we were in court. Since I had no training in argumentation, I was no match. My outlook had always been positive and focused on fairness, but that situation was neither positive nor fair. I didn’t have a clue how to stand up for myself. After several months, all my energy was gone and I felt invisible and voiceless —as if I’d been zapped by the Dementors from Harry Potter. I didn’t want to leave him but I couldn’t continue as we were.

Instead, I became a woman on a mission. Assertiveness was my Holy Grail. Somehow, I would make my husband behave. However, reading The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner really opened my eyes. Dr. Lerner points out that when one person in a relationship changes the steps of a dance, the other follows. It became so clear! All that time, I had been trying to fix Jerry, and nothing had ever changed except my frustration level. Now I realized I had to alter the steps of the dance. It was me who needed to change. I’d have to take a risk and have a tough conversation the next time we disagreed.

The argument that broke this passive pattern involved my decision to go back to school and pursue a career in counseling and coaching. I was thrilled, and of course, I thought Jerry would be as delighted as I was. I couldn’t wait to share my new ideas with Mr. Lawyer. Imagine my shock when Jerry told me that it would be a waste of time. He wanted me to go into sales since he knew how focused and hardworking I was.

At that moment, the old Joyce disappeared. I kept calm, drew in a breath, and took a huge risk. “I am frustrated when I share my excitement about becoming a counselor because my ideas are discounted.” I had done it—I’d changed the dance steps! Jerry was surprised by my direct statement but realized I respected him and was not sarcastic. Most importantly, I’d respected myself by standing up for what was important to me.

That one conversation changed our entire relationship. It took many more books and months of coaching for both of us to change our steps, but it worked. We are still happily married. Of course, we still disagree, but now we interact as equals and there is no winning or losing. When people ask why I specialize in conflict management, I tell them that I married a lawyer. They laugh and think that I’m joking. You know the rest of my story.

What did you think of my story about respect? Can you relate?

I’d love to hear from you. Why is respect important to you? What’s your story?
Please send me a private email if you have a question about your conflict challenges. I will get back to you because connecting with my clients is #1 plus its so much fun to get to know each other better. You can always call my cell; 248.310.6998.

There’s more! Click HERE for our Kick Conflict to the Curb landing page which describes the new online course in detail. Feel free to contact me to see if the class is right for you or your team.
I’d love to save you a seat!

Have a GREAT week,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Queen of Conflict Resolution

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, Kick Conflict to the Curb Online Course
Tagged With: resolve conflict and interpersonal issues, Respect in the Workplace

January 7, 2020 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Video #8: More Stories on Verbal Aikido to Help You Gain Control

Do you want to hear real examples of how you can use Verbal Aikido to gain control during tough conversations?

Welcome to video #8 in the series on working with bullies in the workplace. Today I will share real stories from my clients who practiced and perfected verbal aikido and put this powerful communication tool to use.

At times bullies leave us alone when we stand up to them because they know we’re up to the test when we pull back from their sarcasm or cruelty.  Are you ready for the two examples?

Example #1 on how to use verbal aikido to gain control of bullies

Sue told her bully, “Beth, don’t even start.” And Sue walked away.  The bully got the idea and didn’t bother her in the future.  Sue reached gain control | communication strategiesher bully!  It looks easy yet the reality is that it takes real courage just like Sue showed.  I’ve used this example several times and it works like a charm because I’ve practiced just like clients do with me.

Example #2 on how to use verbal aikido to gain control of bullies

A teenager who was shorter than most of her classmates was picked on by the mean kid in school when she said, “give me your sandwich shrimp.” My client told her bully, “Pick on someone who is your size” after she was ridiculed.  The mean guy stopped bullying her after this.

Joyce, let’s get real!

I know some of you are thinking that this sounds too good to be true.  At times verbal aikido works and at times it doesn’t.  You know by now my conviction – we need to plan and prepare for things to get worse or better.  It’s worth the risk when things improve after the tough conversation.

If you missed the previous videos in the series visit my youtube channel, blog or LinkedIn.  You will find previous videos in the series below.

Intro Video to Protecting Yourself from Bullies in the Workplace
Video #1:  Facts about Bullies in the Workplace
Video #2:  Are you a Target for a Bully
Video #3:  Why Bullying Happens
Video #4:  Does Your Organization Handle Bullies?
Video#5:  The Gap and Triggers to Gain Control
Video #6:  Changing Our Attitudes to Protect Ourselves from Bullies
Video #7:  Verbal Aikido to Stop Letting Others Push You

Stay Connected with Me

Feel free to send me a private email if you have a question on how you can deal with your bully.

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with negative people on your team.  What stories or expressions help you?
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at 800.713.1926 or send me a text at 248.310.6998 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule! 🙂

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Until next time

Have a great week

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, verbal aikido
Tagged With: gain control, Respect in the Workplace

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Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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