This article is part 2 in the series on Keeping Toxic People from Ruining Your Holidays.
You’ll find a link to part 1 towards the end of this article which explores tips 1 and 2.
Tip 3 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays
Knowing what kind of behavior makes these toxic people so irritating is an important step.
- Do they usually arrive late?
- Are they oblivious to how their hurtful behavior affects others?
- They constantly judge or hurt others. And, you are emotionally drained with this insensitive behavior.
- Being the center of attention is their #1 motivation. Additionally, they constantly interrupt others.
Tip 4 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays
Don’t sugarcoat how obnoxious their behavior is and how it impacts the gathering.
Speak with a trusted family member or friend to discuss how to stop letting these toxic people get away with their rudeness.
Set boundaries as to what you will and will not tolerate.
Set time limits: if dinner starts at 6 P.M., start exactly at that time and let everyone know if they are late, dinner starts without them.
Tip 5 for Keeping Toxic People From Ruining Your Holidays
Do expect to have a great get-together. And, if someone is detracting from that, resolve that this person will be “educated” on these boundaries.
Always remember that you have absolutely no social or familial obligation to be victimized—ever.
Here’s the link to part 1 in the series.
Joyce, How Can You Help Us Deal with These Difficult People?
I’m glad you asked!
A client of mine had the following conversation with a relative a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving.
“Tim, we’ve had the same conversation for years on how politics are off the table during our family parties. Our family is sensitive to the fact that we have several varying opinions about politics. We agreed NOT to bring up these topics because they lead to much discomfort.
I’m frustrated when you and I have had this same conversation because the same negativity occurs every year. I love getting the gang together. It’s a yearly highlight.
Next year you will not be invited because it’s more important than ever before to enjoy each other’s company and feel safe around each other without judgment.”
You may wonder what happened after this tough conversation. The toxic relative found another group to join. This was extremely hard for my client. Yet, the great news is that she felt empowered because she was direct, respectful, and honest.
Let’s Stay Connected
Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.
So what about you? Do feel that my coaching advice was too tough?
Can you see changing it around to fit your communication style? Or, will you continue letting these rude individuals take over?
The choice is yours. You know I was going to end with that comment. 😉
Let’s brainstorm any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.
Here’s my calendar. Let’s reduce your inner stress!
Until Next Time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution
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P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.
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