Many of my clients experience communication gaps because they are not in the same locations and they work on their own special projects.
Conflict in the workplace exists because communication loops are not completed and expectations are not expressed. This blog post will cover 2 tools that you may have read in my other posts. I feel that it is worth reviewing Be Direct with Respect® and Verbal Aikido. These are tools that can be used daily to reduce conflict in your workplace.
I recently had the privilege of working with the Ely District Bureau of Land Management in Ely Nevada. There were Archeologists, Biologists, Special Legislation Program Managers, Geologists, and other BLM specialists who attended the Team Building Program.
This impressive group is responsible for 11 1/2 million acres in the areas of fire, fuel control, support services, accounting, contracting, maintenance of roads, recreation sites, fences, grazing, wild horses plus so many other issues concerning requests and actions on public land. This group feels passionate about what they do for the public and their enthusiasm is something that I don’t get a chance to see very often.
I hope that you enjoy reading the tips that we covered during the training. They will improve communication skills to reduce conflict in your workplace. They are ideas that you can use immediately.
1. The Power Talk Formula
This tool is perfect to use with colleagues, managers, the public or even your family.
I am ______________________your emotional response
When_____________________non judgmental
Because___________________how it effects you
“I am frustrated when I continuously repeat my concerns about the team gossip because this negativity is decreasing the morale for all of us.”
“I am thrilled when I see the team working on completing the communication loop because this will help remove some of the our daily stress.”
Remember NOT to use the words “you,” “but” or “should”. These words make others feel defensive. If someone becomes defensive it could be a signal that your communication caused the other person to push back.
Pay attention to your tone of voice and the words that you use.
Remember that the person who pulls back is the stronger one in the conversation. Verbal Aikido helps you diplomatically deal with difficult people and bullies.
Here are some tips to use the next time someone pushes you:
Take a deep breath
Do your best to remind yourself not to push back
Agree with the person by saying something like,
“I agree that I did not get back to you immediately.
Let’s take care of this right now while we have each other on the phone.”
This example does not contain any excuses which causes others to push us even more. We are all tired of excuses.
Ask a question when someone says, “You are always so negative.” Your response could be, “Always?” or “Specifically tell me when I was negative.” Be prepared to hear the feedback and not push back by getting defensive.
I know about this first hand when an audience gives constructive feedback. I do my best to listen openly because those are times when I learn about myself.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
Below is a photo of Joyce with Special Legislation Management and Program Analyst Elena Montenegro-Long, Special Legislation Program Manager Carol Bass, Archaeologist Leslie Riley, and Biologist Marian Lichtler.
Joyce spending dinner with Ely District BLM
Check out these 2 videos from Elena Montenegro-Long and Leslie Riley on what they learned from the Team Building Program:
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If so, this blog post if just for you.
Generation Y was born between 1981-1995.
I had the privilege of being the keynote speaker at the Jump Start program for freshmen at Oakland University in Rochester MI.
There were 200 eager freshmen waiting to learn how they can become involved as future leaders during their stay at Oakland University.
Thanks to Chris Jensen (Assistant Director of Leadership and Service) and Meaghan Walter (Graduate Assistant for Leadership Development & First Year Programs) who coordinated & planned the most impressive Jump Start Program.
They made all 200 students feel extremely welcome and important. The enthusiasm continued throughout the entire day. It’s a good thing for Vitamin C and caffeine!
Both Chris and Meaghan helped me plan my portion of the program to make sure that it would be a success.
I thank both of them for their important input to help us achieve a most successful project together.
Joyce with Meaghan Walter and Chris Jensen
We started out the session discussing how these young men and women have the world in their hands.
Each one can make a difference due to their desire to share their uniqueness with the world.
The millennial generation…or generation Y has been given many choices.
They want to become active in making the world a better place.
We had a very energetic discussion on the meaning of success.
We discussed that money is good and a hot career is important.
We also discussed that their unique talents will make the true mark in this world.
They all shared their unique skills and talents that they brought to Oakland University.
This was truly book material!
We then discussed the 4 NEW WORK REALITIES which contained information on my experience dealing with conflict in the workplace between employers and employees.
I helped them discover what to expect when they graduate to prepare for their career development.
Work Reality #1: Generation Y is Both Colliding and Clicking with Gen X, Baby Boomers, & Traditionalists.
Generation Y: Millennials want to express themselves and their unique gifts.
They are on the move because they see many opportunities that are offered to them.
Other generations watch Gen Y change jobs and see this as a lack of work ethic.
This generation may be finding a better job that fits their skills and talents better.
Each generation has its own positive contributions.
All generations need to be ready to collaborate with each other and discuss challenges openly and respectively.
Here’s a question for you… How do you think other generations feel about your own generation?
Are these assumptions accurate or generalizations? The same goes for all generations.
Different equals different. Different does not equal wrong!
Work Reality # 2: Commit Fully to Your Education
Commitment …
Is a gift that you can give to yourself
Empowers you
Brings out your very best potential
Makes you a more valuable student and future employee
I’ve noticed that people who do whatever it takes to get the job done…
Seem to be fulfilled in their life
Become experts in their field
Understand that “just doing my job” is a sign of mediocrity
I have a question for you… How are you showing your commitment to be the best at what you do at school or at work?
Work Reality #3: Constantly Learn
Lifelong learning is the only way to remain competitive.
This relentless drive to acquire new skills & stay informed creates enthusiasm in what you do.
Here is another question for you… What is the best class that you ever took and why?
The answer may reveal some important information on future training or exploration for you.
Work Reality #4: Learn From Setbacks and Convert Challenges Into Success
I told the freshmen the following message:
“You won’t always do the right thing. Maybe you didn’t do well in high school and Oakland University will be your fresh start. You may get your first C in school or even fail a class. Do you drop out or start over, learn and improve?
I know what I’m talking about. Look what I do for a living. Most people would rather die than give a speech. Professional speakers face rejection every time they open their mouth. Some people will not like the speaker’s message, sound of their voice, pattern of their business suit…etc. I’ve become an expert in helping others turn their challenges into an opportunity due to my own work related challenges.”
Here are two more questions… What challenge may be stopping you at this moment? What do you need to do to face the challenge in order to grow?
Failure is never final.
Success does not last forever!
We also discussed multitasking and balancing time between doing homework and having a social life.
Look for these tips from the keynote speech Take the Ride of Your Life in a future blog.
Check out these video testimonials from 3 very bright and positive future leaders at Oakland University.
I enjoyed my time with each and every student and look forward to hearing about their continued success!
Share this blog with your own Gen Y and let me know the result of your communication.
I love staying in touch with my loyal readers!
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This blog post gives you tips to help you plan a very productive meeting.
I had the honor of presenting a workshop to members of MI Society of Association Executives (MSAE) on BEST PRACTICES AS A FACILITATOR.
Thanks to Nichole Tilma (Director of Professional Development & Special Events for MSAE) who invited me to lead the workshop and to Kathy Bart (Director of Sales at Director at DeVos Place) who did a great job as a co-leader.
Kathy Bart, Joyce Weiss, and Nichole Tilma
We started out the program with an important distinction between the words facilitator and expert.
A facilitator is an individual whose job is to help manage a process of information exchange. A facilitator helps HOW the discussion is proceeding. Facilitators ask questions versus give answers. An expert’s role is to offer advice and give answers.
It is important to know the difference because great facilitators understand their role and don’t take over the discussion. They make sure the group moves forward.
I hope that you find the following best practices as a facilitator helpful:
Set Priorities
Find out what the audience needs to know, wants to know and why are there
Set Ground Rules Such as:
Turning off cell phones
No side bars with people whispering to each other
Checking egos at the door in order to have honest conversations
Stopping negativity
Encourage Everyone to Share Ideas by Asking the Group to:
Write down 3 ideas
Share these ideas with a partner
Discuss these ideas in small groups
Bring these ideas back to the large group
Have Fun During the Meeting
Bring small toys for the group to play with during the meeting
Koosh balls
Stress toys
Play dough
Bubbles
Take 30 Minute Stretch Breaks
Have the audience stand and do easy exercises
Share the best idea that they learned so far
Get The Group to Take Action by Using Debriefing Questions
The most important concept that you learned today is…
The first step that you will take is…
The biggest barrier that you will have to overcome is…
You will overcome the barrier by…
If you use these 5 best practices, your next facilitating meeting will be very successful.
Please send me your most challenging issue on how to facilitate your next meeting.
Also, send me your best practices and I will post them in a future blog…giving you credit!
Enjoy co-leader Katy Bart share what she learned from the session
Do you want to know how to stay in business for a really long time?
I was asked to share answers to this very important question to a very creative group -SE MI Entrepreneurs Association.
There were several generations in workplace represented in the packed room.
SE MI Entrepreneurs Association is designed to help members grow their business.
They provide training, network opportunities, information and valuable resources.
ZaLonya Allen, PhD is the Executive Director and did an excellent job letting the community know about this important event.
Here are the main points that I covered:
Learn from your mistakes and hopefully you wont repeat them.
“Failure is never final and success does not last forever.”
Be creative during slow times. Take advantage of this time to write articles, contact former clients or re brand
Ask yourself the important question…Who is my client? Stay focused and service to that market.
Don’t scatter yourself too thin by attempting to service to everyone.
Make smart financial decisions when hiring consultants and make sure to check on references. (It is amazing how many
people in the audience shared horror stories on this one!)
We are never there. Continuous learning is constant and exciting.
Take time to re brand every few years to stay current and fresh.
Build relationships before asking for referrals or favors.
Learn skills in leadership consulting to get and give respect.
Constantly improve communication skills.Please let me know if you want me to share more ideas with you on this topic. Feel free to call me at 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com
Check out the tips that Dr ZaLonya Allen will use as a result of the program
Your conflict in the workplace consultant says…
Remember to run away from energy vampires. There are many possibilities. We need to see them…believe me you will find them. Make sure to run away from those telling you that there is no business anymore.
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Until Next Time…. Remember, YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict in the Workplace Consultant
I had the privilege of co presenting a program for the MI Lean Consortium. G.S. Clarke shared his knowledge on measuring, analyzing, and changing an organization’s existing culture focusing on thought patterns and behaviors. I continued the discussion on how to deal with resistance during change. The members asked great questions and they shared their best practices using Lean.
MI Lean Consortium is a diverse network of knowledgeable Lean professionals who come together to share innovative practices. The organization aims to create a lean culture in MI to ensure sustainable competitive advantage, which could translate into healthier businesses that offers more job opportunities leading to economic growth in the state.
I’m so impressed with this group and will be become a member soon.
Check out some of the main ideas that we discussed on resolving conflict in the workplace especially while convincing naysayers about the benefits of cultural change.
When you change culture, you will get conflict
We need to convince leaders that they will be able to do what they want to do after lean processes are implemented
Front line employees will see how their working condition will improve when waste in time and resources are reduced
Everyone has to be responsible for lean every day. It is not a passing fad and takes a long time to implement
The role of Lean leaders is to create change based on learning
It is more important to be effective than right
It is NOT an easy task to deal with people who are resistant to change, but it is possible…once we learn how to improve communication skills.
Lean consists of the following:
Philosophy: Long term thinking
Process: Eliminate waste
People and Partners: Respect, challenge, people
Problem Solving: Continuous improvement and learningHere are a few more ideas on lean:
Signs of good leadership include high morale and consistent achievement of objectives within the group…growing people while still doing tasks to accomplish greater results.
A lean company forbids its people to do what they did yesterday.
Learning and experimenting are expected and required for every job.
Leaders provide the emotional safety for those who are willing to risk and shrink the comfort zone.
If you want more information about the MI Lean Consortium or on
resolving conflict in the workplace feel free to contact me and I will introduce you to the fine people at MI Learn Consortium
Check out the 2 videos from Debra Levantrosser Setman who is the co founder of MI Lean Consortium and Phil Berry who sits on the Board of Directors on what they learned from the program
Debra Levantrosser Setman, Les Sutherland, Joyce Weiss, G.S. Clarke, Phil Berry
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Feel free to share these tips with your team – Just be sure to give Joyce credit when you share or publish.
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Until next time, Remember…YOU GET WHAT YOU TOLERATE!
Joyce Weiss
Conflict Resolution Consultant and Accountability Coach
