Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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My Favorite Motivational Quote About Determination

 

motivational quote | Joyce Weiss | Career Coach

#motivationalquote
#Zigziglar
#success

This motivational quote is perfect for those of you who have family members attending high school or college. We can’t force others to learn.  It has to be something discovered on our own.  Those of you who live Zig Ziglar’s words realize the power of his message.

Clients who are open to learning about themselves know that learning is a continuous process.  They progress quickly during their coaching experience.  They are open to learning how they can improve and are accountable when they make mistakes while trying new strategies.

I will not work with people who are not willing to answer the following questions:

  • What worked this week?
  • What mistakes did you make?
  • What do you want to improve?

People who are not willing to learn are not successful coaching candidates.  The ones who are determined to learn advance in their career and live a fulfilled life.  It’s not rocket science.  Coaches ask questions in order to help clients discover this on their own.

What messages do you take away from this motivational quote?
What challenges do you experience with colleagues or relatives who don’t know the power of constant learning?

Feel free to forward this message to those who need to hear these important words from Zig Ziglar.

 

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A Bold New Strategy to Use with Bullies in the Workplace

  • Do you walk on eggshells with bullies in the workplace?
  • Are you caught off guard when someone constantly interrupts you?
  • Would you like to learn how to protect yourself from these negative behaviors?

I’m continuing my quest to help my clients gain control from the bullies in their workplace and home.life.  This article contains a new strategy to use when the power talk formula just won’t work – especially with certain bullies.

A participant in my Be Direct with Respect® Communication Workshop shared an incident that happened to him.  Doug is a manager and Sue, one of his direct reports interrupts Doug numerous times.  Doug has already used the power talk formula with Sue.  He said, “Sue I’m frustrated when I’m interrupted because I have already asked you to wait until the question and answer portion of the meeting.”  Doug is tired of Sue’s rude behavior plus his team has complained to him about Sue’s constant interruptions.  As one team member bluntly asked, “Can’t you shut her up?”

We brainstormed several ideas and came up with the following strategy to control Sue and other bullies in bullies in the workplacethe workplace.  The next time Sue interrupts Doug during the meeting he will say, “Sue. Stop!”  Some of you may think this is an aggressive strategy.  Doug already had discussions with Sue and nothing ever changes.  I encouraged Doug not to sound like a bully himself, but to say, “Stop!” in a strong and assertive tone.

Doug called me a week later and told me that this strategy worked.  Sue was caught off guard and didn’t say a word until the question and answer portion of the meeting.  This strategy may backfire.  It’s always a risk to communicate with bullies in the workplace.  The good news is that when the strategy works, the bully won’t push you anymore.  You won’t be fun to push.  The bully will find someone else to antagonize.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you control bullies in the workplace.  What stories or expressions help you get through the stress?  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Do you want more information on bullies in the workplace?

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address workplace bullying here.

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our knowledge base bullying in the workplace here.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

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One of my Favorite Communication Strategies to Help You Keep Your Cool

One of my favorite communication strategies is one that I use when others try to make me defensive.  I’m paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Those of you who have read my blogs know that no one can make you feel defensive without your consent.  We are in control of how we react.  No one is in control of that.

You may be thinking, “Joyce, how can I be in control when others push me?”  It isn’t easy.  Most of us push back when someone judges us.  We are all guilty of losing our cool at times.  My secret sauce is verbal aikido.

Communication Strategies #1:  The definition of verbal aikido

communication strategies

In aikido, the person who pulls back from an attack is the stronger one.  Stop defending yourself when someone yells at you that you are late. Instead of defending yourself by saying, “The traffic was bad,” start using verbal aikido.  Say, “You are right, I’m late.  I know how punctual you are and I will leave 15 minutes earlier the next time we meet.”

Communication Strategies #2: Focus on what can be done

It’s more important to concentrate on solutions rather than blaming what went wrong.  The next time a meeting communication strategiesbecomes a screaming match with a lot of blaming and accusations, use verbal aikido.  Pull back by saying, “Instead of the blame game, let’s figure out how we dropped the ball and resolve this issue with our client.”  Fixing what went wrong needs to be discussed at another time. We all want our issues to be resolved and we don’t care about excuses or blaming others.  Verbal aikido is a tool that cuts through the noise and focuses on the present.

Communication Strategies #3:
How Robert Kennedy used verbal aikido

Robert Kennedy knew that he was going to be pushed by the press after President Kennedy appointed him as his attorney general of the United States.  Senator Kennedy was prepared when he met the press the day after the appointment was made.  A journalist said, “Senator Kennedy, what gives you the right to become attorney general of the United States?”  Senator Kennedy took a breath and said, “That’s a great question.  You have to attend a good school, know a lot of people, and have a brother who is the president of the United States.”  The press melted and started to laugh at this brilliant statement.

Verbal aikido allowed Senator Kennedy to pull back and he caught the press off guard.

Let’s Get Real

There are times when I forget all of the skills that I write about.  Let’s face it, we are all human!  The important thing about forgetting to use these skills is that you are reminded of them immediately after a communication doesn’t go as well as you wanted it to!

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you think verbal aikido will help you keep your cool.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  My passion and talents are to help individuals and small groups reduce stress, advance their career,  and improve their quality of life and work. Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address executive coaching strategies here.

 

 

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A Powerful Strategy to Be in Control When Others Try to Push Your Hot Buttons

Hot buttons – we all have them.  How do you react when someone pushes yours?

  • Do you push back?
  • Do you remain silent?
  • Do you think of the best answer on your way home?

Do you wish you could react to toxic situations with more control?

If so, you’re in the right place!

Here are three powerful communication strategies to help you be in control:

Strategy #1 to be in control:  Pretend you’re in their situation

Figure out why they are behaving this way.  Ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their shoes?”  This could help you respond in a way that is more helpful since you understand how they may feel.

Strategy #2 to be in control:  Use the GAP Technique be in control

The GAP is a moment when we step back and take a deep breath to decide what we want to say.  This is the time to be in control and take a quick moment to think before the wrong words pour out of our mouth.

A stimulus is something that happens to us – someone interrupts us for example.
The response is how we react – what you will say to the interrupter.

I use the following sentence when others interrupt me:  “I want to hear what you have to say after I finish my story.”

The GAP is one of my personal favorite communication strategies because it saves me embarrassment by stopping me from saying something that may not be the best response.

Strategy #3 to be in control:  Don’t explain or defend yourself when something goes wrong be in control

Calmly acknowledge, apologize and act – never explain.  Explanations come across as excuses.  Agree if what they say is somewhat true.  Don’t blame it on someone else, even when you know who made the mistake.

Use Strategy #3 when a client complains that your company is late with a project: say, “You’re right.  We dropped the ball and will do whatever it takes to resolve this issue.  I will send it to you by 3 pm today.  Here is my cell phone.  Please call me anytime.  You are in good hands with me.”

Let’s Get Real

There are times when we don’t respond as well as possible especially when others push our buttons. These are learning moments!  We can always improve especially when we analyze what went wrong during a tough communication.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog when I describe verbal aikido to give you the strength to be in control.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you stay in control when others push you. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email here with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a Great week.

Until next time, Remember – “You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS Do you want more information on how to resolve conflict or advance your career?
Sign up for articles, newsletters, and videos here

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Book Recommendation on Complainers and Energy Drainers

I am including a very interesting blog post on energy drainers from a colleague of mine, Linda Byars Swindling.  Thanks to Linda for giving me permission to use her fascinating information to share with you.

Stop Complainers & Energy Drainers: How to Negotiate Work Drama to Get More Done is an excellent read.

How to Identify a Controller. 
When people use F-bombs and complain to intimidate and motivate others to act, they are Controllers.  These Complainers appear as tyrants, bullies and slave drivers. Think of “Monster Trucks” – these people are aggressive, loud and ready to roll over you to get to their destination. Controllers want you to yield to their authority and they push hard to confront obstacles and get results. Controllers use complaining to get things done.

How Controllers Affect the Workplace.
They are the harassers of the workplace. Morale and production go down when people feel intimidated and employees and coworkers cope by keeping secrets from the Controller. Creativity and risk-taking shut down which causes top performers to leave and go work elsewhere.

How to Work with a Controller.
You can’t use excuses, finger pointing or a detailed account of what went wrong when negotiating with a Controller. Instead, be ready to provide answers and show progress on the work that’s been completed.

How to Negotiate with a Controller. Stand. Deliver. Let Them Decide.

  • Stand your ground. Be assertive and confident but not aggressive when you respond.
  • Let the Controllers know that you heard the problems or challenges and that a plan is in place to fix the situation.
  • Let Them Decide. When possible, give Controllers the opportunity to make a decision from a narrow selection of options
    (that YOU give them) to move forward.

About Linda Swindling, JD, CSP

A recognized authority on negotiations, workplace issues, and persuasive communication, Linda Swindling is a former employment attorney and speaker. Linda has authored over 20 books, including her book Stop Complainers and Energy Drainers: How to Negotiate Work Drama to Get More Done. Follow her on twitter @LindaSwindling or visit LindaSwindling.com.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you control energy drainers.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Click here for Tips to Use During Tough Conversations to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address conflict resolution in the workplace here.

This is Joyce Weiss, Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach
Have a great week.
Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831