Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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September 25, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

My Favorite Quote on Sarcasm

This quote is great for those of us who use sarcasm with those who understand our sense of humor.

#favoritequoteonsarcasm #oscarelevant #favoritequotes

Oscar Levant’s quote conveys different messages to us.  The first time I saw it, I started to laugh.  It was funny to me.  Other’s have taken the quote personally and think that they are being judged for using sarcasm.  Full disclosure here – I am a sarcastic person.  It works with certain people in a positive way and it backfires to those who don’t understand my humor.  I’m glad to say that my “sharp tongue” is under control most of the time! 😉

Sarcasm – Is it good or bad?

The answer is – it depends.

I have tough conversations with clients in my audience who tell me not to attempt to change the sarcastic culture on their team.  Interviewing team members is how I personalize each training.  I share the patterns that interviewees share with me during the workshop.  The facts are obvious about sarcasm.  Some people feel bullied because having a “sharpened tongue” is not part of their personality.

We all react to sarcasm differently

sarcasmThis is where it gets interesting.  The sarcastic team members say that everyone needs to lighten or toughen up and stop being so sensitive.  I actually agree with part of their sentiment.  Everyone thinks that they know the culture of their team or department without taking into consideration that the silent ones wish others would not communicate so brutally.

The definition of sarcasm

Webster defines sarcasm as “A cutting remark intended to wound.  An act of bitterness and a biting quality.”  Ouch!
There are times when the discussion in the training session goes really well and team members understand what their colleagues told me during the interviews.  There are times when this does not happen and bullying continues.  Certain people are set in their ways and refuse to look at the whole picture.

Let’s get real

Are you sarcastic?  If so, do you know that there are times when this kind of communication could be seen as bullying?  Are you sensitive to sarcasm?  If so, could you realize that the remarks have little to do with you and only the way this person communicates?  Awareness is the key.  I take the elephant out of the room when I see someone not reacting well to my humor by admitting that the comment was sarcastic and it has nothing to do with the listener.  This usually works.

I want to hear from you

  • Are you on a team where sarcasm is the norm?
  • Do you think that sarcasm is accepted by the team?
  • Are there team members who get picked on and no one does anything about this?
  • What can you bring up at meetings if sarcasm is getting in the way of your team’s communication?

Please respond on the comment section of the blog.  Feel free to send me a private email HERE.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, sarcasm
Tagged With: favorite quote, how to improve communication skills

September 18, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Be in Charge When Bullies at Work Attack You or Others

The title is a bold one.  The more research I do on bullies at work, the more convinced I am that we need to deal with these mean-spirited people.  I work with some leaders who admit that they are intimidated by bullies at work and just ignore them.  This occurs more than you may think.  Most people let bullies get away with their rude and dangerous behavior because it’s too risky to confront them.  I get this!  I really do.  I also know how important it is for me to continue to provide training to leaders on this critical matter.

Please let me know which of the strategies below speak to you.

Strategy #1 on Bullies at Work:  Understand What Makes Bullies Tick

  • Bullies reject kind words of collaboration
  • They want to win – not get along with their victims
  • They intentionally hurt others
  • Bullies believe in the philosophy:  It’s my way or the highway

Strategy #2 on Bullies at Work:  Bullies Pursue Their Targetsbullies at work

  • Bullies admire those who stand up to them
  • Bullies push to see how much you can take
  • People who bully the bully get respect

Strategy #3 on Bullies at Work:  Stop Being a Victim

  • Be aware that the bully may get angry when you speak up
  • Decide if it’s worth the risk to stand up for yourself
  • Prepare a response to address the bully if he or she calls you – or others humiliating names

Strategy #4 on Bullies at Work:  The Power is Yours if You are a Leader bullies at work

  • It’s your responsibility to speak up when a bully takes over a meeting
  • Suffering in silence makes things worse
  • You are a role model to your team and will earn their respect when you stop bullies from intimidating others

Let’s Get Real

A friend of mine told me that she didn’t go to her 30th high school reunion because she was the target of several bullies.  She is now a top-level leader and does an excellent job stopping bullies at work from intimidating others.  She is also human and still has scars from her high school days.

I’ve personally dealt with bullies in my adult life.  I’ve used each strategy that I’ve written about in these articles.  It was difficult to recognize that I was playing victim to these bullies at work.  Once I did, things changed immediately.

There you have it – be in charge when a bully attacks.  Stay tuned, I have more to share in future articles.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on a bully at work who still controls you or others.  How can you stop him or her from intimating others?  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work HERE.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company. Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

P.S. Read an article on Is There A Bully at Work Who Makes Your Life Miserable? HERE

 

 

 

Filed Under: bullies at work, bullying in the workplace
Tagged With: bullying in the workplace, leadership

September 11, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Samuel Goldwyn’s Motivational Quote on Critics

motivational quote | Joyce Weiss | Career Coach

#motivationalquote #SamuelGoldwyn #favoritequoteaboutcritics

Keep Samuel Goldwyn’s motivational quote handy the next time someone “rains on your parade.”  I’m sure you can think of someone.  Right? I was showing a neighbor my new garden because it came out better than I ever dreamed.  Are you ready for her brilliant comment?  “Joyce, you should put woodchips on the dirt because it looks too much like a forest.” I decided not to respond because the whole idea was to create my garden so it would look natural – like a forest! 😉

We can decide to listen to our critics or simply ignore them.  This neighbor has a beautiful garden.  Her garden is manicured with all the pink flowers planted in perfect rows. I understand why she had to add her two-cents because my garden is totally different than hers.  I only wish I could always be as open to critical people when issues are a bit deeper.

I take constructive feedback very seriously because feedback is important to grow personally and professionally.  The problem with most people is that they forget an important word – constructive.  Sarcasm and judgment are not part of the equation to get good results.

It’s your turn.  Please comment in the blog or send me an email HERE when someone offered criticism that wasn’t constructive.

Filed Under: favorite quote, motivational quote
Tagged With: constructive criticism, constructive feedback

September 4, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

My Favorite Quote from “Orange is the New Black”

Favorite Quote | Joyce Weiss | Communications Coach

#favoritequote
#orangeisthenewblack

I enjoy watching Orange is the New Black because of the characters and the inmates’ stories.  This quote screamed out to me when I heard the character Tastee say this strong message to her cellmate.

A relative recently asked me, “Joyce,  why do you put so much time into your career?”  Believe me, it was not out of concern.  She was sarcastic and judgmental!  I said, “I’m working hard not to judge me.  I wish you’d do the same.”  She backed off immediately.  I said it gently even though I wanted to be sarcastic myself.  Hey, I teach this stuff and better communicate directly and in a respectful way.

How can you use this quote with colleagues or relatives?  It’s a good one to store for future reference. 🙂

Send me an email HERE if you have your own method of stopping people who judge you.

Share if you agree with Tastee’s words.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Communications, Career and Coaching Expert

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS Thanks to Lauren Stewart who creates these motivational posters for me.  Let me know if you want me to share more of them with you.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

August 28, 2018 By Joyce Weiss Leave a Comment

Standing Up to Certain Bullies at Work

Bullies at work is a topic that I will be writing about for the next few blogs because clients have been asking me for strategies on how to deal with these difficult people more often these days.  You may be experiencing tough personalities who drive you crazy, yet they may not be bullies. Or, they may be full-blown bullies who constantly intimidate and humiliate.

The ideas below will help you stand up for yourself with bullies at work.  They are all risky.  There, I said it!  It takes courage to stand up to certain bullies at work.  Make sure to answer the questions towards the end of the article.  I would love to hear your responses!

Idea #1 on how to stand up to bullies at work

Bullies are always to be found where there are cowards.
Mahatma Gandi, Indian activist

bullies at workBullies don’t pick on powerful people-only those who won’t fight back.  They like nice people who continually act nice even when they are treated cruelly.  Bullies at work pursue their targets.  Ask yourself if you are a target.  If so, this strategy is for you-your beginning of breaking patterns and gaining the strength to not take it anymore!

Idea #2 on how to stand up to bullies at work

You may have read other articles from me on using the power talk formula.  This is a perfect strategy to use at least once with bullies at work.  The power talk method will let you know if you are dealing with a full-blown bully or a difficult person.  Bullies do not respond in a positive way to the power talk formula like difficult people do.

Read More here for an article on the Power Talk Formula.

Bullies at work reject reasonable requests to get along because they only want to win.

Idea #3 on how to stand up to bullies at work

I will be sharing action plans on how to stand up to bullies in upcoming articles.  This example may be totally different Career Skills | bullies at workfrom the ones that you have used in the past.  Are you ready?

Stop complaining about bullies at work and create a plan on how you can stop being a target.  If the bully starts putting you down about an idea that you believe in, start gaining control and stop being intimidated!  Stand up straight, look him in the eye, and assertively say, “John, don’t even start.”  The next move is to walk away.

Once you use this strategy a few times, it will become very easy.  I started using this idea a few weeks ago when a relative who complained about everything just didn’t stop whining.  I used this idea and it worked!

I want to hear from you about bullies at work

  • Add a comment to my blog on your experience with bullies at work.
  • Do you feel different about your bully now that you realize that you may be a target?
  • What strategies have you used to help you with these intimidating people?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email here with concerns that you are experiencing with bullies at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Put bully in the blog research bar to find more articles on bullies at work.

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our knowledge base bullying in the workplace here.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Communications Coach and Expert
Helping resolve personality conflicts

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

Filed Under: bullying in the workplace, resolving conflict in the workplace
Tagged With: bullies at work, bullying in the workplace

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Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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