Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Got Personal Bias with Your Triggers?

Welcome to Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly!

  • Are there certain people who you get along with really well?
  • Do you know others who push your buttons?
  • Do you know if your personal bias is getting in the way?

You can take an exercise after you watch the video below that may be revealing about your own personal bias. Take out the popcorn and let’s connect after watching it!

Here’s Your Personal Bias Excercise

Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle.

  • On the left side put the name of someone who you get along with really well.
  • On the right side write the name of someone who drives you crazy.
  • Write the characteristics of the names both on the right and left side of your paper.
  • Look at the left side.  Does this person remind you of you? I find that 99% of my clients who have done this exercise recognize that the description is their own characteristics.

Is Your Personal Bias Getting in Your Way? personal bias

I suggest that you do this exercise when you meet one of your triggers. I’m serious. This exercise will keep you on track on how you can keep your personal bias under control – especially with those who rub you the wrong way. This person will not be your best friend (I hope!). Knowing that your personal bias is in control may give you the energy to either ignore him or her or decide how you can carefully continue moving forward with the relationship – especially at work when you can’t select whose on your team.

Let’s Stay Connected!

Please share your thoughts about your own personal bias by commenting on the blog or sending me a private message at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.  This powerful exercise is easy and impactful.
I appreciate every one of my loyal readers! Please share any of the Kick Conflict to the Curb Weekly posts to your friends/colleagues who could benefit from the coaching secrets or videos on resolving conflict.

Have a GREAT Week!
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Master Coach

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Control Your Triggers for Less Drama During the Holidays

  • Do you know how to control your triggers?
  • Would you like a little inspiration on how to stay positive when you are with people who irritate you?
  • Are you tired of people complaining about their life yet don’t do anything to change?

Welcome to my world! I recently took a class at the World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit (WBECS) and the speaker seemed to talk just to me. 🙂
She explained how coaches attract people who are working on the same issues as the coach.  I delved into that statement and I was amazed at how true it is.  Clients call me to so they can feel more confident in their communication with bullies and other tough situations. You know, that I’m the Queen of Conflict Resolution and know all about triggers! 🙂

So what about you? Look at the people in your life.  What kind of friends or colleagues do you seem to attract? The great news is when we attract people with the same positive qualities as you.  The bad news is when we also attract negative triggers (people or situations that become stressors for us).

Joyce, How Can We Control Our Triggers?

  1. It’s not easy! The first step is to know your triggers. Who or what causes you to react negatively?
  2. Now that you know your triggers, plan how you will stop yourself from reacting.
  3. You can walk out of the room, tell them that you have an appointment and get off the phone, or do your best to stay away from them.
  4. We all need support these days. We also need kind honesty and feedback when we don’t see negativity seeping into our conversations.
  5. Constructive feedback is a gift when it’s done with good intentions.

There may be times when you MUST be with your triggers. Not to worry.
I suggest that you look at them as a chair. You don’t get mad at a chair for being a chair. Don’t get mad at people for who they are – it’s usually their issue and not ours.  We make it our issue and we can stop that once we know that we can change our internal conversations.  Stop saying, “I can’t take him or her anymore” to “I’m in control of how I feel and you are a chair, so you can’t really push me!”
This is definitely a strange way to talk to yourself. It works, so try it before you roll your eyes. 🙂

 

How Does Wonder Woman Control Her Triggers? Triggers

I love Gal Gadot’s role as Wonder Woman.  I saw a recent quote of hers,

I do me.
You do you.
I’d rather have you not like me at this moment than not saying my truth.

When we control our triggers, we have a better chance of what comes out of our mouths. This will be your magic sauce!

Do your best to step back and think what the best solution is for you.  Is it better to be silent or speak your truth? We can control our triggers once we realize that we have choices on how to react.

Let’s Stay In Touch

Please share how you control your triggers in the comment section. What is your secret sauce? What issues are you still having with your triggers?

I’m here as your own Master Coach. Send me an email HERE if you have a private question to ask.

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

PS I hope that these ideas will help you enjoy your holidays –  especially when those irritating people open their mouths.

 

 

 

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A Communication Secret to Control Your Triggers

Would you like to learn a communication secret to control your triggers?
Do others know how to push your triggers?

The video below will give you an important communication secret to gain control of some of your triggers.  

Communication Secret #1:  Identify Your Triggers

I recently produced an online virtual training on Controlling Your Triggers.  The participants work at a small business and wanted me to help them cope better during the 2020 pandemic.  They came up with the following list of triggers:

  • Living with different personalities 24/7
  • Lack of boundaries and space
  • Children thinking that the pandemic will never end
  • High school students not having a senior year
  • Relationships deteriorating
  • Parents working full time while homeschooling
  • Extended families living together

Communication Secret #2:  Know that Change is Part of Our Life Right Now

A trigger of mine is when people constantly complain about how things have changed and they do nothing about this.  This may sound like I’m really hard on others.  Those of you who know me realize that I raise the bar of expectations very high either for me or my clients.  Change is part of our lives.

  • We all know people who deal well – and who don’t deal well with change.
  • This is not new.
  • What is new is that we are ALL experiencing a change in our routine.
  • Change is a trigger for some people.
  • We can offer support and even help them look at options.
  • It’s up to all of us to see that we can see everything as out of our control or do our best to look for opportunities in this change.

Communication Secret #3:  Make Your “Trigger” Conversations Safe 

First, decide who you want to have a conversation with to clear the air.  Create a plan using the following strategy:

I do want to ___________________.
I do not want to _________________.

I do want to have an important conversation about boundaries.
I don’t want to create stress between us.

Once you start off your conversation this way, you can then go deeper on what boundary you need to discuss with this person.
Please comment on this blog with who you can use this secret and what you hope to accomplish.  I will send you a response on how you can improve your plan or give you the green light to move forward.  You can always send me a private email if you have a sensitive topic that you want to ask me.

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with your triggers.  What stories or expressions help you? You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂

Please contact me at my cell 248.325.8101 or 800.713.1926 to explore how you can kick conflict to the curb.  There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their public speaking skills.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new communication skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Career Advancement is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!
Find your voice with Joyce!

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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