Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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Surprisingly Easy Ways to Deal with Chronic Complainers | Part 1

Chronic complainers are everywhere these days! Sure, we feel empathy for others who complain about health, relationships, or work. And there are other times when the complaints are so outrageous that we want to walk away or yell at the other person. At least I do! 😊 constant complainers

Story 1 About Chronic Complainers

I was at a restaurant the other day and heard the following conversations:

“My house is so dusty, and I can’t wait for the construction crew to leave!”

You may be thinking so, Joyce what’s the big deal? The complainer is so lucky to have the resources to have her house remodeled. Dirt and dust are part of the reality when we have home improvement projects. It is what it is.

Story 2 About Chronic Complainers

At another table, I heard a person say, “I’m not looking forward to going home because I have to pack for our 3-week cruise.”

Again, you may be more tolerant of complainers than I am. This traveler is fortunate to go on such a luxurious vacation and packing is part of the equation when one travels. It is what it is! These 2 friends are perfect for each other.

So, Joyce, What are You Saying?

Complaints reveal a lot about the person who is speaking. We all know spoiled adults sounding like 2-year-old children and who are inconvenienced.
They don’t do well when either large or small changes happen in their life. It’s stressful if we work or live with people like this.

Of course, we all can turn into complainers at times. We are all human. I’m talking about chronic complainers.

Joyce, Please Give us a Tip on How to Deal with These Chronic Complainers & Whiners

Here are some options for dealing with chronic complainers: chronic complainers |improved work-life balance

  • Validate the person by saying, “That must be tough.”
  • Repeat the complainer’s situation and maybe they will come up with a solution {it’s possible 😊}.
  • Ask the complainer if you can give your opinion. You can ask, “What other reasons could George have been promoted and not you?” They may help the complainer to get out of the victim role if you are lucky.
  • You always have the right to express how you have a meeting in 5 minutes if you have done your best to listen and the victimization goes on and on.

Here are 2 questions for you:

1. What is a complaint that drives you crazy?

2. How do you handle people who are chronic complainers?

Please comment in the comment section.

You can always send me a private email.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule. Discover the details HERE
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

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A Powerful Reminder to Reduce Drama in Your Life

reduce drama

  • Do you want to reduce drama in your life?
  • Are there people whose high drama wastes your time?
  • Does this affect your stress level at work or home?

Most of us have drama queens or kings who zap our energy. Yet, we forget that we can set boundaries and actually change this reality.

Yearly I do a serious job of spring and fall cleaning. And, my list consists of clothes, clutter in my home or office, and relationships that are toxic.  All of these things reduce drama in my life – Big Time!

You heard me right.  We all have those who constantly complain yet never change anything in their life.  Or, their life is full of such hype it’s exhausting to listen. Life is too short to be around draining people who rain on our parade.

Here’s how I reduce drama and handle my spring and fall cleaning with these people:

  • Make a list of those who drain you.
  • Add people to your list who you want and need to spend more time with. 
  • Who makes you laugh, smile, think, learn, etc?   
  • Compliment those people in your life who you enjoy. 

Remember this the next time you speak to a friend who complains about everything.  In fact, I’m not saying to end the relationship. Set boundaries to protect yourself from this drama king or king. Make sure that you limit visits with this person.

Yes, I do this too.  There are certain people who need to be in my life. And they are HUGE triggers for me. When I’m on the phone with these triggers, I make sure and say that I only have 10 minutes to talk before the next zoom meeting. This really helps.

Life is too short not to be with those who support you and bring joy to your life.   

Please let me know how this photo of drama kings and queens speaks to you in the comment section.

Stay Connected with Me

Please add a comment to this blog on how you deal with those drama kings or queens on your team or in your life. 

  • What stories or expressions help you?
  • What boundaries do you use?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 

You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work. I’m your communication coach. And, I’m here to help you reduce drama NOW!

 Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

Find your voice with Joyce!
Send me an email if you want to grab your complimentary cool booklet on “19 Surefire Ways to Bring More Joy & Harmony Into Your Life.”

PS Communication Coaching is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!

 

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More Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication – Part 2

Are you ready to hear about more coaching strategies?
Do you wonder if your communication patterns get in the way of creating trust with others?
Would you like to see if you are a rescuer who could hinder progress in others?

Ouch! Hopefully, the questions above piqued your interest. 🙂 If so, you are in the right place. 🙂

Last week you read about the work of Michael Bungay Stanier on the TELL IT Communicators. I described the TELL IT Communicator from Michael’s class during the World of Executive and Business Coaching Summit.

Here’s a link to Part 1: Coaching Strategies to Improve Your communication – Big Time!
Michael Bungay Stanier shared that there are 3 types of communicators: Tell IT, Save IT, and Control IT

This article is about the SAVE IT Communicators.

Coaching Strategies #1: SAVE IT Communication Challenges

  • Save IT Communicators are rescuers
  • They keep others from making mistakes
  • Listeners resent SAVE IT Communicators because they become codependent and don’t know how to stop the SAVE IT Communicator
  • They have all the answers

Coaching Strategies #2: SAVE IT Communication Benefits  

  • They are heroes because their purpose is to save everyone from imperfections
  • SAVE IT Communicators think they are helping others from making mistakes

Coaching Strategies #3: SAVE IT Communication Solutions

  • Stay curious and do your best to stop rescuing everyone from making mistakes
  • Realize that success consists of falling down and taking risks
  • Think before you open your mouth
  • Ask yourself if your words help or hinder the success of others
  • See how your new behavior encourages self-growth and autonomy

Joyce, What Do You Think About SAVE IT Communicators?

Full disclosure.  Drum rolls, please.  I am a SAVE IT Communicator. I discussed this awareness with a couple of coaching colleagues.  We discovered that all 3 of us are Save It Communicators. We also realized that it’s time for a change. I am NOT any of these communicators when I coach with clients or in my virtual courses.

My personal life is another story. I decided to make a change and took this awareness as a gift to myself. The last couple of weeks have been more relaxing for me and my family.  I have stopped saying, ” It’s going to be cold, so you better take your jacket.” No More Mrs. Nice Gal!” Let’s face it, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves. Our family consists of all adults. No more babies or teens to rescue for this MASTER Coach! My family has started taking their own jackets. They appreciate the fact that I’m changing – of course, I told them about this and we discussed their patterns also. Hey, it’s only fair, if I change they need to work on their growth also.

Self-awareness is a great first step towards progress.  The good news is once we discover our communication style, we can then make important changes.  Some of them are easy while others are not. I promise, there will be more information on these important coaching strategies to add to your toolbox.

Let’s Hear From You

Let’s hear how you feel about these coaching strategies. Do you see SAVE IT Communicators in your workplace or home? If so, please share your awareness and how this communication style stifles creativity, trust, and growth.

I suggest that you talk about the 3 communication styles after I describe the last one next week.  This can be a great exercise for your department or family. When you have open-minded people, this will work really well. If you have one negative person, wait until that person is not present, or else he or she can ruin the results with their sarcasm and negativity.

The comment section is working! Let’s hear from you.

You can always send me a private email with questions or concerns about the communication conflicts that you are experiencing.

Let’s Stay Connected

Do you want to go deeper and grow professionally to your next level? If so, I have several coaching packages and memberships to fit anyone’s schedule and budget.  I’d love to work with you.
Give me a call to see how coaching can help you or your direct reports to improve relationships, careers, and personal peace!

office: 800.713.1926
cell: 248.325.8101

Just think: No more

  • Drama
  • Silence
  • Not being heard
  • Unresolved tough conversations

Have a great week.

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Here’s the link to part 1 of the series Coaching Strategies to Improve Your Communication

 

 

 

 

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DANGER: Do Not Fear Conflict in the Workplace!

Did I get your attention?  I sure hope so.

Conflict in the workplace is a good thing.  Ignoring conflict is going to produce an unhealthy workforce.

Many of you already know that I’m the Queen of Conflict Resolution.

I decided years ago to take on this challenge when I discovered how many leaders did not like conflict and did what they could to push it away or ignore it.  Fast forward 30+ years later and clients appreciate learning how to have tough and necessary conversations

Fear of Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #1: conflict in the workplace
It’s Hard to Trust Without Conflict

  • Disagreement is a sign of strength.
  • Healthy companies realize that false agreement is not a good thing.
  • Group Think is something that I talk about with leaders who are conflict-averse.
  • Agreeing with management just to agree does not foster trust.
  • It closes necessary disagreement.

Fear of Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #2:
Be Brave and Take Risks      

It may be hard for you to visualize how challenging it was for me to share my opinion when I was younger.  I know my family wishes I was still that person.  I’m not!  It’s been a process.  I understand how hard it is for some of us to tell our truth without fear of rejection.

  • It takes much strength to take this risk.
  • People may roll their eyes or disagree in a loud voice.  I say, “so what!”
  • It took me several years of reading books on bold conversations and going to workshops on this subject for it to sink in my head how being silent was not giving me the respect that I needed.

I understand how hard this is for people because I had to overcome being an agreeable person.  Now, you can’t stop me from speaking my truth and have built quite a coaching and training practice helping clients find their voice with Joyce!

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with conflict in the workplace. What stories or expressions help you?  What do you do to prevent “group think” from happening?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their online presence – to help them create engaging virtual programs.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new engagement skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Isn’t amazing how much drama occurs in the workplace?  It’s like they have their own reality TV show!  If you can relate, it’s costing you BIG time!  I specialize in coaching clients to kick conflict and chaos to the curb to get the respect and peace they deserve!

Find your voice with Joyce!

I would love to work with you!

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Queen

Have a great week.

 

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Isn’t It Amazing How Much Drama Occurs at Work?

Isn’t it amazing how much drama occurs at work?  It’s like they have their own reality TV show!
If you relate, it’s costing you productivity, morale, and the bottom line.

This post is all about YOU and your input!  You read this right.  I’m asking for my loyal blog readers to share what keeps them up at night.

I’m doing research on what kind of drama people are experiencing at work and home – especially since our world has been knocked upside down during this pandemic.  I will take this information and write future blogs and include scenarios in my online course:  Kick Conflict to the Curb.

Please comment below the poster.  Of course, all data will be anonymous if your ideas are used.
Thanks so much for helping me out to get this great information to share with the world.

Joyce Weiss

It’s YOUR Turn!  Please share your drama in the comment section or send me a private email.

Thanks!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week and let’s kick conflict to the curb together!

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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