Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Add 26 Days to Your Year:  Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Reducing conflict in the workplace can add productive hours to your day.

“If only I had more hours in the day.” How many times have you uttered those words?
If you’re like most people, you either think it or say it daily.  The good news is that we all have more time accessible to us.  The bad news is that we often let others steal it from us.

Consider these statistics: International Communications Research in New York surveyed over 1,000 people on how many minutes per day they are interrupted by things that they don’t want to do (not including email).  Over 42 percent of those surveyed admit that they spend 100 minutes or more every day on interruptions.

This breaks down to the following:

100 minutes (1-2/3 hours) per day
11-2/3 hours per week
26 days per year
5 weeks of vacation

Surprising, isn’t it?  While you can’t make up for lost time, you can have more time to do what you want to do – starting today! The secret is to use Be Direct with Respect® principles.

Here’s how:

Be Direct with Respect Strategy #1 to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace conflict in the workplace

When someone asks, “Can I have five minutes of your time?” the natural response is to say, “Sure,” even though you really don’t have five minutes.  And you know those five minutes will grow into 15, 20, or even 30 minutes.

A better response is, “Sure, I’d love to help you.   Let me call you when I’m done with this project;  we can talk then.” You are still engaging the person, but you’re doing it on your terms and your timeline, not theirs.

Be Direct with Respect Strategy #2 to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace conflict in the workplace

When someone tries to start a friendly conversation with you or engage in small talk and you don’t have the time, the usual response is to stop what you’re doing and talk.  After all, you don’t want to be rude.

A better response is, “I’d love to hear more about your grandkids (or your new project, the new clients, etc.).
Right now I have a meeting (or a deadline to meet, a report to finish, a doctor’s appointment, etc.). Let’s talk about this later today when I’m available.” Again, it’s just a matter of redirecting the person to your timeline.

Be Direct with Respect Strategy #3 to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

What can you do when you are in a planned one-hour meeting with someone, the hour is almost up, and the other person shows no intention of leaving or ending the conversation? Do you let the meeting run over, and disrupt your entire day’s schedule?

A better approach is, “Our time is just about up. Why don’t we use the remaining few minutes to decide when we’ll meet again to complete this discussion?” At that point, the person may suddenly sum up all the key points. Then if additional time is needed,  you’re doing it according to your schedule.

Take Back Your Time to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Being Direct with Respect is a skill that enables you to stop interruptions at work or home to accomplish necessary tasks.  It’s an art to tell others that you can’t take care of their needs immediately without sounding like a selfish person. When you’re Direct with Respect, you can do what you need and want to do and get the respect from others at the same time.

By developing these three Direct with Respect strategies, you can add 26 days to your year!

Read More to discover how to reduce conflict in the workplace.  We can work together to help YOU become a master communicator.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on what is and what is not working when you attempt to set boundaries with others.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict in the workplace, improve leadership skills and enhance their quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of communication, leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization reduce conflict in the workplace HERE.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

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Exclusive Communication Skills at Work™ #4-Use Certain Words to Help You Be Direct with Respect®

 

https://youtu.be/tHh36NP93w0

Hi there and thanks for joining me again to read my latest blog post!

As you may know, I created a premier program called Communication Skills at Work™ that is designed for anyone on the corporate ladder for career advancement or resolving conflict in their workplace.

Below you will find links to the last three blogs, I shared about powerful content clients will learn from Communication Skills at Work:

Week One:  The Importance of Be Direct with Respect® in the Work Place

Week Two: Use Constructive Feedback to Get Necessary Results

Week Three:  Protecting Yourself when Others Push Your Hot Buttons.

This week I’ll preview the fourth chapter of the program: Use Certain Words to Help You Be Direct with Respect®.

In addition to the program manual and self-study guide, I offer full phone coaching depending on your budget and time frame. Read here for all the details.

Now, let’s dive in and talk about why it’s so important to Use Certain words to Help You Be Direct with Respect®.

Learner Objectives for Week Four

  • How to ask for what you need, build self-esteem, and Analyze childhood messagesCommunication Skills at Work
  • How to change a negative self-image to use Be Direct with Respect
  • Questions to ask to Be Direct with Respect
  • Build trust to use Be Direct with Respect

My favorite quote about communication is one from Martin Luther King Jr.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

The following guidelines will help you strengthen your communication:

  • Remove but and replace it with and.
  • Use I statements as often as possible and forget about using YOU statements.  I promise not to turn you into a narcissist using this strategy!  Using the word you tends to make the other person defensive.
  • Don’t get sidetracked. Here is an example showing you why Be Direct with Respect is so powerful:

     The Aggressive Approach:
“You embarrassed me in front of our department when you told them about my speeding ticket.”

     The Be Direct with Respect Approach:
“I was embarrassed when the group heard about my speeding ticket because I told you that in confidence.”

Be Direct with Respect helps participants feel more confident because the technique is easy to learn and the results are long-lasting.  People use this strategy to build trust and earn respect from anyone on the corporate ladder.

Week Four consists of several activities to help you discover your communication strengths and areas of improvement.

Week Four ends with a Final Project that we plan together

Communication Skills at Work

This is where we take all of the skills learned in the course and put them into practice.  We explore a tough situation that needs to be resolved and design a realistic course of action.

Participants who take the course use their own case scenarios and we practice together until they feel confident to use this valuable strategy on their own.  I am here 24/7 via email.  This coach is dedicated to each client’s success! 😊

Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog. I love receiving questions and comments, so please feel free to contact me or leave a comment!

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

And again, if Communication Skills at Work sounds like something that could help you or your company, check out this link for more information or contact me here.

I look forward to assisting you in your Communication Skills at Work learning experience and watching how you grow your new skills to create the positive changes in your life you deserve!

Reducing conflict is like riding a bike:  Shift gears to successfully navigate life’s potholes, ruts, and obstacles.

 

 

 

 

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Exclusive Communication Skills at Work #2-Use Constructive Feedback to Get Necessary Results

™™

https://youtu.be/cS7tjP3kS70

Hi there and thanks for joining me to read my latest blog post about Communication Skills at Work™!

Last time, I shared some of the powerful ideas from Week One:  “The Importance of Be Direct with Respect® in the Work Place.”  As you hopefully know, I have created a premier program called Communication Skills at Work that is designed for anyone on the corporate ladder and addresses issues as peer bullying, standing up to upper management, career advancement and conflict resolution.

This week I’ll give you a preview of the second chapter of the program: Use Constructive Feedback to Get Necessary Results.

In addition to the program manual and self-study guide, I offer full phone coaching depending on your budget and time frame. Read more here for all the details.

Now, let’s dive in and talk about why it’s so important to Use Constructive Feedback to Get Necessary Results and how it can help you move ahead.

Learner Objectives to Use Feedback for Necessary Results

  • Learn to comfortably provide constructive feedback to peers or to those you manageCommunication Skills at Work
  • Thoughtfully accept constructive feedback and suspend defensive reaction even when it’s not delivered in the way you would prefer to receive it
  • Speak up when an issue is important to you
  • Take responsibility for your own behavior

Constructive Feedback Consists of the Following:

  • Is stated in specific terms instead of vague, general ones
  • Is directed at behavior – rather than personalities
  • Is an observation of events, rather than labels or emotional judgment
  • Focuses on a coaching style instead of put-downs

Here’s an example to help you understand the language of constructive feedback:
“What specifically did I do that made you feel picked on?  Let’s talk about how this happened and look at ways to deal with it.”

What to Do When Others Get Defensive?

It doesn’t help to tell others not to be defensive, but rather accept people’s defensiveness.
And after hearing the defensive communication, bring the discussion back to the issue.  For example:

Sue: “When will the project I gave you be finished?”
Ed: “I’ve been too busy to get it done when I said I would.”
Sue: “I realize you’ve been busy.  I need to have that project completed by Tuesday.  What help do you need to make that deadline?”

The Power Talk Formula – Be Direct with Respect®

Be Direct with Respect is a learned skill, a willingness to risk rejection by communicating directly, yet gently.  It deepens relationships and resolves issues.  Clients adhere to this particular strategy immediately because it’s easy to use and they get excellent results – especially during tough conversations.

The power talk formula is:

I am ____________________________________ (your emotional response)Communication Skills at Work
When I _________________________________(non-judgmental)
Because________________________________(how it affects you)

For example: “I am frustrated when I call and no one gets back to me because my department is counting on me to finish this project on time.”

People who take the course use their own case scenarios and we practice together until they feel confident to use this valuable strategy on their own.  I am here 24/7 via email.  This coach is dedicated to each client’s success! 😊

Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog. I love receiving questions and comments, so please don’t hesitate to contact me or leave a comment!

And again, if Communication Skills at Work sounds like something that could help you or your company, check out this link for more information or contact me here.

Until next time,
Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Reducing conflict is like riding a bike:  Shift gears to successfully navigate life’s potholes, ruts, and obstacles.

 

 

 

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A New Tool to Enhance Your Communication Skills and Relationships

  • Do you wonder about your communication skills after certain conversations?
  • Have you dealt with people who win every argument with you?
  • Do you wonder why this happens?
  • Would you like to know how to stop this destructive communication?

This article will cover all four questions.  My coaching clients have shared with me their frustration with bullies and other difficult people who know how to manipulate the conversations.  By now you know that my skill set is all about resolving conflict either at work or home.

Communication Skills Strategy #1: Don’t Let the Difficult Person Control Youcommunication skills

We need to trust ourselves when we are around difficult people.  We need to give ourselves internal pep talks such as – “I’m ok” and “I’m in control.”  This may sound simple; however, difficult people know how to make others feel insecure by their bullying behavior.  Remember, it’s all about THEIR behavior and not yours.

Communication Skills Strategy #2:  Understand the Difficult Person’s Behavior

It’s usually about the insecurity of the bully or difficult person.  They win every argument because they know how to manipulate others.  Most people don’t confront the difficult person because they are afraid that things could escalate.  Go to the search bar and look for my previous articles to learn more about bullies.

Communication Skills Strategy #3:  Know the Behavioral styles of the Difficult Person

The DISC Profile is a solid and tested assessment to help you understand your behavior and the behavior of others.
It’s full of strategies to help improve your communication skills and relationships.

Here are four behavioral styles:
Dominance:  Direct, tough-minded, forceful
Influence:  Outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic
Conscientiousness:  Analytical, reserved, private
Steadiness:  Even-tempered, accommodating, tactful

Each of these four behavioral styles consists of strengths and weaknesses.  It’s important to know your style in order to use your communication skills in the best way.

Let me know if you are interested in finding out about your behavioral style.

Communication Skills Strategy #4:  Learn How to Stop Others From Controlling You  Communication Skills

Inscape Publishing has introduced a new and powerful tool  – DISC® Productive Conflict Assessment.  It explores both your constructive and destructive communication skills and behaviors.  Once you discover this information about yourself, you are on your way to stop others from winning or controlling your conversations.

You will learn how to step back and challenge your actions.  This new assessment tool is exciting and the results are impressive!

To learn more, read a popular article HERE:  Resolving Conflict in the Workplace-My Favorite Articles and Strategies.

Please call me to receive your own copy of the DISC® Productive Conflict Assessment.  I am offering a VIP coaching rate if you want to go deeper and discover how you will gain more control, experience less stress, and understand yourself and others to gain the respect that you deserve!

Think about a conflict situation that you experienced and wish you handled better then give me a call.  You and I  can discuss this in our coaching session.  You can reach me at 800.713.1926 or send me an email HERE.

Let’s Get Real

Conflict is inevitable at work or home.  The solution is to know the best way to use your communication skills with difficult people or situations.  There is usually an easy approach –  I know first hand that this strategy works.  Hey, I live my life this way.  My experience helps me help my clients improve their home and working conditions.

I hope that this article gives you useful ideas on how to transform your uncomfortable encounters into stronger relationships.

Want to learn more about the assessment or VIP coaching session?  Call me at 800.713.1926 or send me an email.

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

PS.  Everything DiSC® Productive Conflict generates a personalized 22-page report providing insights into how individuals respond to conflict situations. This report is designed to be used with all employees in any type of organization or company. No previous experience with DiSC is necessary.

 View Sample Profile

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Improving Communication with a Challenging Colleague

I’m asked the following question during my corporate communication strategy sessions, “Is improving communication possible with someone who causes me such stress?”  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get along with a certain coworker. Maybe your personalities are just too different, or perhaps your work processes and preferences conflict. Despite this fact, you still have to work together—sometimes very closely—so it is important to establish a relationship of cooperation and respect.

But cooperation and respect can be hard to maintain. The key to improving communication is to get the other person to agree on this relationship goal and then work together to keep the cooperation and respect strong. Therefore, set up a meeting with the coworker who is troubling you and together answer these seven questions. With the insight you glean from the answers to these questions, you can move toward productive results.

Improving Communication Tip 1:  What is our main challenge?

You need to pinpoint what specifically keeps you from having a working relationship based on cooperation and improving communicationrespect. Does it have to do with work styles, personalities, ethnicity/cultural differences, etc.? You need to know what you must overcome before you can actually do it.

Improving Communication Tip 2:  How are we different?

Suppose that you figure out that your conflicting work styles cause the friction. The next step is to identify specifically how your work styles are different. For example, maybe you discover that while you prefer to have email communications, your coworker finds email cold and impersonal and wants face-to-face meetings. At this point, remember not to blame each other for the difference or defend yourself. You want to find how to capitalize on your differences.

Improving Communication Tip 3:  How are we the same?

Despite your differences, you likely have a few similarities. In fact, at one point in your history together, you probably did one project together—even a small one—well. What worked during that project? The key is for you to build off your similarities to establish cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 4:  What opportunities are within our reach?

In other words, if you work together, what can you accomplish together? This question gets you to think positively about the other person so you can have the motivation to work together in a way that fosters cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 5:  How can others in the department or company help us?communication strategy

Remember that you’re not alone. Others in your department or company want you to develop mutual cooperation and respect. Identify who those people are and get their input.

Improving Communication Tip 6:  How can we communicate with each other better?

To work on your relationship, try spending some time together. This does not mean hanging out together on weekends. It simply means for you to go to lunch together periodically or agree to meet for 20 minutes every Monday to review weekly goals. Do something to get the dialog started.

Improving Communication Tip 7:  How can we amaze ourselves?

Determine what would be an amazing experience for the two of you working together. Describe it in great detail. Use that vision to guide your future working efforts. Before you know it, you’ll have a solid base of cooperation and respect from which to build.

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on a communication challenge that you’re having with a colleague.  Let me know strategies you used by improving communication with a difficult colleague.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of communication, leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization experience my customized workshops here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831