Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Communication Strategies: How to Deal with Mediocrity

Communication Strategies to use in the workplace has been the topic for the past few posts.  This week it’s all about dealing with those people who are on the edge – the low performers or slackers.

Read the first article in the series:
Communication Strategies to use with Someone who Didn’t Receive a Promotion.

Read the second article in the series:
Communication Strategies to use with People Bringing Problems to Work.

I hope that you find this article helpful with those slackers in your workplace.

Communication Strategy #1:  Make the Conversation Safe

Make the conversation safe by using I do want – I don’t want. communication strategies
Here are a few examples:

I don’t want to discount your years of service.
I do want to discuss some performance concerns.

I don’t want to discount your value.
I do want to discuss how your behavior is affecting team productivity.

This strategy will help you create a safe starting place.  You will be more direct after using the next communication strategy.

Communication Strategy #2:  Use Be Direct with Respect®

Those of you who read my blogs know this communication strategy and it’s worth repeating as a refresher.  Be direct with respect® deepens relationships and resolves issues.

I am ________________________
(Your emotional response)

When I ______________________
(Non-judgmental)

Because ______________________
(How it affects you)

I am  concerned when I see productivity issues because you were a star performer a couple months ago.

Communication Strategy #3:  Discuss What you Notice and Ask Questions

This communication strategy gives you a chance to discuss the changes that you see and how it’s impacting the team.

Here’s what I’m noticing…
This is how it’s impacting the team…
Where are you stuck?

These 3 communication strategies will give you a plan on how to talk to a mediocre person.  The next step is to discuss the ramifications if things don’t change.  Expectations need to be clear and understood.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with mediocrity. What stories or expressions help you get the results that you need? You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address conflict resolution in the workplace here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

 

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

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Communication Strategies: People Bringing Problems from Home to Work

Communication strategies will be the topic for the next few posts.  You will find case scenarios taken from recent Be Direct with Respect® workshops.

The following Topics will be covered:

  • How to have a tough conversation with a direct report who brings problems from home to work
  • Starting a direct conversation about mediocrity
  • How negativity lowers morale

Read last week’s article on Communication Strategies to Use with Someone Who Brings Problems from Home to Work HERE

Have you dealt with any of the following issues?

  • A direct report who brings issues from home to work and you don’t know what to say.
  • You don’t know how to set boundaries with a stressed-out colleague.  You want to be supportive and you have deadlines to meet.

This article has 2 communication strategies to help you support a friend, colleague or direct report.

Communication Strategy #1:  Make the conversation safe

Make the conversation safe by starting it out with I do want – I don’t want. bullying in the workplace |communication strategies

Here are a few examples:

I don’t want to overstep my boundaries.
I do want to make sure that you are ok.

I don’t want to push you over the edge.
I do want to suggest getting support during this challenging time for you.

I do want you to know that I’m here for you.
I don’t want to leave this unsaid.

You will be reading about this strategy again in the next two articles.  You may be asking yourself, “Joyce why are you repeating this strategy?”  The reason – it works!  You can make your conversations safe by using this strategy.  You can also change the words around by using I don’t want at the beginning or start out with I do want.  Everyone’s comfort level is different.

Communication Strategy #2:  Use Be Direct with Respect®

Be direct with respect®

  • Allows you to be direct in a respectful way
  • Is truth with heart
  • Creates a win/win situation
  • Respects yourself and others

I am ___________________
(Your emotional response)

When I __________________
(Non-judgmental)

Because __________________
(How it affects you)

I am concerned about your state of mine when I see you withdrawn and irritated because I want the best for complainers; negativity in the workplace | improving communication |communication strategiesyou and for us to be at our best as a team.

I am concerned when I see your home issues affecting your work because it impacts your performance and the entire team.

These 2 communication strategies will give you a plan on how to approach this delicate subject with someone who may need some support while you need to set boundaries.  Find more communication strategies in the search option of this blog.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you have helped a stressed-out colleague or direct report.  Let me know what other communication or conflict resolution topics you want me to write about to fit your specific needs. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers!   You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce communication strategiesconflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Would you like to explore how our coaching online program Communication Skills at Work could help you advance your career or address bullying? Read more on how you can become a master communicator HERE.

We can set up a FREE laser-focused 30-minute phone coaching session to see if the course is right for you.
Send me an email to set up our session HERE.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

 

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Communication Strategies to Use with Someone who Didn’t Receive a Promotion

Communication strategies will be the topic for the next few posts.  You will find case scenarios taken from recent Be Direct with Respect® workshops.

The following Topics will be covered:

  • How to deal with someone who constantly complains about being passed over for a promotion
  • How to have a tough conversation with a direct report who brings problems from home to work
  • Having a direct conversation about mediocrity
  • How negativity lowers morale

Have you dealt with any of the following issues?

  • A colleague didn’t receive a promotion and you don’t know what to say.
  • You want to tell a productive direct report that she needs to develop a couple of skills.
  • A friend is dwelling on how he was passed over a promotion.  You want to suggest that he moves on in order to look for more opportunities and not be so negative.

This article has 2 communication strategies to help you support a friend, colleague or direct report.

Communication Strategy #1:  Make the conversation safe

Make the conversation safe by starting it out with I do want – I don’t want.executive coach| communication strategies

Here are a few examples:

I don’t want to minimize the effort that you are making.
I do want to discuss how to improve your performance.

I don’t want to discourage you.
I do want to help you with your career.

I don’t want to dwell on what didn’t happen.
I do want to encourage you to look at this as an opportunity to refocus on career development.

I don’t want to lose you as an engaged member of our team.
I do want to discuss efforts to improve your future opportunities.

I don’t want to downplay the importance of what the promotion meant to you.
I do want to remind you of your strengths and all the things you bring to the team.

I hope that you get the idea.  You can make the conversation safe by using this strategy.  You can also change the words around by using I don’t want at the beginning or start out with I do want.  Everyone’s comfort level is different.

Communication Strategy #2:  Use Be Direct with Respect®

Be direct with respect® is a powerful communication strategy that allows you to be direct in a respectful way.  It is a communication strategieslearned skill; a willingness to risk rejection by communicating directly, yet gently.  It deepens relationships and resolves issues.
I am  ___________________
(Your emotional response)

When I __________________
(Non-judgmental)

Because __________________
(How it affects you)

I am concerned when I see you so down about not getting promoted because I believe you can get past this and achieve your goals.

I am concerned when I see your frustration because you can move forward in the organization.

I understand your situation when I see you disappointed because I want to see you keep going in the right direction.

These 2 communication strategies will give you a plan on how to approach this delicate subject with someone who may need some support.  Find more communication strategies in the search option of this blog.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you have helped someone who didn’t get a promotion.  Let me know what other communication or conflict resolution topics you want me to write about to fit your specific needs. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address conflict resolution in the workplace here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

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One of my Favorite Communication Strategies to Help You Keep Your Cool

One of my favorite communication strategies is one that I use when others try to make me defensive.  I’m paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Those of you who have read my blogs know that no one can make you feel defensive without your consent.  We are in control of how we react.  No one is in control of that.

You may be thinking, “Joyce, how can I be in control when others push me?”  It isn’t easy.  Most of us push back when someone judges us.  We are all guilty of losing our cool at times.  My secret sauce is verbal aikido.

Communication Strategies #1:  The definition of verbal aikido

communication strategies

In aikido, the person who pulls back from an attack is the stronger one.  Stop defending yourself when someone yells at you that you are late. Instead of defending yourself by saying, “The traffic was bad,” start using verbal aikido.  Say, “You are right, I’m late.  I know how punctual you are and I will leave 15 minutes earlier the next time we meet.”

Communication Strategies #2: Focus on what can be done

It’s more important to concentrate on solutions rather than blaming what went wrong.  The next time a meeting communication strategiesbecomes a screaming match with a lot of blaming and accusations, use verbal aikido.  Pull back by saying, “Instead of the blame game, let’s figure out how we dropped the ball and resolve this issue with our client.”  Fixing what went wrong needs to be discussed at another time. We all want our issues to be resolved and we don’t care about excuses or blaming others.  Verbal aikido is a tool that cuts through the noise and focuses on the present.

Communication Strategies #3:
How Robert Kennedy used verbal aikido

Robert Kennedy knew that he was going to be pushed by the press after President Kennedy appointed him as his attorney general of the United States.  Senator Kennedy was prepared when he met the press the day after the appointment was made.  A journalist said, “Senator Kennedy, what gives you the right to become attorney general of the United States?”  Senator Kennedy took a breath and said, “That’s a great question.  You have to attend a good school, know a lot of people, and have a brother who is the president of the United States.”  The press melted and started to laugh at this brilliant statement.

Verbal aikido allowed Senator Kennedy to pull back and he caught the press off guard.

Let’s Get Real

There are times when I forget all of the skills that I write about.  Let’s face it, we are all human!  The important thing about forgetting to use these skills is that you are reminded of them immediately after a communication doesn’t go as well as you wanted it to!

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you think verbal aikido will help you keep your cool.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

 

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Have a great week.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  My passion and talents are to help individuals and small groups reduce stress, advance their career,  and improve their quality of life and work. Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address executive coaching strategies here.

 

 

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Book Recommendation on Complainers and Energy Drainers

I am including a very interesting blog post on energy drainers from a colleague of mine, Linda Byars Swindling.  Thanks to Linda for giving me permission to use her fascinating information to share with you.

Stop Complainers & Energy Drainers: How to Negotiate Work Drama to Get More Done is an excellent read.

How to Identify a Controller. 
When people use F-bombs and complain to intimidate and motivate others to act, they are Controllers.  These Complainers appear as tyrants, bullies and slave drivers. Think of “Monster Trucks” – these people are aggressive, loud and ready to roll over you to get to their destination. Controllers want you to yield to their authority and they push hard to confront obstacles and get results. Controllers use complaining to get things done.

How Controllers Affect the Workplace.
They are the harassers of the workplace. Morale and production go down when people feel intimidated and employees and coworkers cope by keeping secrets from the Controller. Creativity and risk-taking shut down which causes top performers to leave and go work elsewhere.

How to Work with a Controller.
You can’t use excuses, finger pointing or a detailed account of what went wrong when negotiating with a Controller. Instead, be ready to provide answers and show progress on the work that’s been completed.

How to Negotiate with a Controller. Stand. Deliver. Let Them Decide.

  • Stand your ground. Be assertive and confident but not aggressive when you respond.
  • Let the Controllers know that you heard the problems or challenges and that a plan is in place to fix the situation.
  • Let Them Decide. When possible, give Controllers the opportunity to make a decision from a narrow selection of options
    (that YOU give them) to move forward.

About Linda Swindling, JD, CSP

A recognized authority on negotiations, workplace issues, and persuasive communication, Linda Swindling is a former employment attorney and speaker. Linda has authored over 20 books, including her book Stop Complainers and Energy Drainers: How to Negotiate Work Drama to Get More Done. Follow her on twitter @LindaSwindling or visit LindaSwindling.com.

I want to hear from you

Add a comment to my blog on how you control energy drainers.  You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.
Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.  Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Click here for Tips to Use During Tough Conversations to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address conflict resolution in the workplace here.

This is Joyce Weiss, Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach
Have a great week.
Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831