Communication strategies will be the topic for the next few posts. You will find case scenarios taken from recent Be Direct with Respect® workshops.
The following Topics will be covered:
- How to deal with someone who constantly complains about being passed over for a promotion
- How to have a tough conversation with a direct report who brings problems from home to work
- Having a direct conversation about mediocrity
- How negativity lowers morale
Have you dealt with any of the following issues?
- A colleague didn’t receive a promotion and you don’t know what to say.
- You want to tell a productive direct report that she needs to develop a couple of skills.
- A friend is dwelling on how he was passed over a promotion. You want to suggest that he moves on in order to look for more opportunities and not be so negative.
This article has 2 communication strategies to help you support a friend, colleague or direct report.
Communication Strategy #1: Make the conversation safe
Make the conversation safe by starting it out with I do want – I don’t want.
Here are a few examples:
I don’t want to minimize the effort that you are making.
I do want to discuss how to improve your performance.
I don’t want to discourage you.
I do want to help you with your career.
I don’t want to dwell on what didn’t happen.
I do want to encourage you to look at this as an opportunity to refocus on career development.
I don’t want to lose you as an engaged member of our team.
I do want to discuss efforts to improve your future opportunities.
I don’t want to downplay the importance of what the promotion meant to you.
I do want to remind you of your strengths and all the things you bring to the team.
I hope that you get the idea. You can make the conversation safe by using this strategy. You can also change the words around by using I don’t want at the beginning or start out with I do want. Everyone’s comfort level is different.
Communication Strategy #2: Use Be Direct with Respect®
Be direct with respect® is a powerful communication strategy that allows you to be direct in a respectful way. It is a 
learned skill; a willingness to risk rejection by communicating directly, yet gently. It deepens relationships and resolves issues.
I am ___________________
(Your emotional response)
When I __________________
(Non-judgmental)
Because __________________
(How it affects you)
I am concerned when I see you so down about not getting promoted because I believe you can get past this and achieve your goals.
I am concerned when I see your frustration because you can move forward in the organization.
I understand your situation when I see you disappointed because I want to see you keep going in the right direction.
These 2 communication strategies will give you a plan on how to approach this delicate subject with someone who may need some support. Find more communication strategies in the search option of this blog.
I want to hear from you
Add a comment to my blog on how you have helped someone who didn’t get a promotion. Let me know what other communication or conflict resolution topics you want me to write about to fit your specific needs. You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂 You are always welcome to send me a private email HERE with concerns that you are experiencing at work.
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Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address conflict resolution in the workplace here.
This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach
Have a great week.
Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”