Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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My Favorite Conflict Resolution Skill to Use with Bullies

  • Do you want to use my favorite conflict resolution skill to gain control during tough conversations?
  • Are you ready to learn or relearn a communication strategy to use with bullies or others who push you?
  • If so, you are in the right place at this very moment. 😊

Communication woes plague professionals across the board: Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Conflict Resolution Skill #1:  Verbal Aikido

Rather than pushing back, getting even, or seething in silence, you can gain control of the situation and diplomatically deal with unkind people and behavior. The solution is called Verbal Aikido, and it’s a conflict resolution skill that won’t get you fired.

Conflict Resolution Skill:  A Definition of Verbal Aikido

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense that uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to conflict resolution skillcounter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker to create balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Conflict Resolution Skill:  Verbal Aikido Basics

The cardinal rule of this powerful conflict resolution skill is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

EXAMPLE:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusatory, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a verbal aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses, thus giving the other person nothing to push against.

EXAMPLE:

Suppose you’re giving constructive criticism to a male co-worker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming emotional and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. However, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

Stay Connected with Me

  • Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with bullies.
  • What stories or expressions help you?
  • You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂
  • You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work. more read here.

Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how executive or career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their virtual training on zoom. They all knew that their meetings were boring and wanted to change this.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new virtual learning skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Isn’t amazing how much drama occurs in the workplace?  It’s like it has it’s own reality TV show! 
If you can relate, it’s costing you BIG time!  I specialize in supporting  frustrated emerging leaders and business professions to kick conflict to the curb to get the respect and peace they deserve!

Find your voice with Joyce!

I would love to work with you!

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our knowledge base bullying in the workplace here.

Until next time, Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Have a great week.

Rememer, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

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DANGER: Do Not Fear Conflict in the Workplace!

Did I get your attention?  I sure hope so.

Conflict in the workplace is a good thing.  Ignoring conflict is going to produce an unhealthy workforce.

Many of you already know that I’m the Queen of Conflict Resolution.

I decided years ago to take on this challenge when I discovered how many leaders did not like conflict and did what they could to push it away or ignore it.  Fast forward 30+ years later and clients appreciate learning how to have tough and necessary conversations

Fear of Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #1: conflict in the workplace
It’s Hard to Trust Without Conflict

  • Disagreement is a sign of strength.
  • Healthy companies realize that false agreement is not a good thing.
  • Group Think is something that I talk about with leaders who are conflict-averse.
  • Agreeing with management just to agree does not foster trust.
  • It closes necessary disagreement.

Fear of Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #2:
Be Brave and Take Risks      

It may be hard for you to visualize how challenging it was for me to share my opinion when I was younger.  I know my family wishes I was still that person.  I’m not!  It’s been a process.  I understand how hard it is for some of us to tell our truth without fear of rejection.

  • It takes much strength to take this risk.
  • People may roll their eyes or disagree in a loud voice.  I say, “so what!”
  • It took me several years of reading books on bold conversations and going to workshops on this subject for it to sink in my head how being silent was not giving me the respect that I needed.

I understand how hard this is for people because I had to overcome being an agreeable person.  Now, you can’t stop me from speaking my truth and have built quite a coaching and training practice helping clients find their voice with Joyce!

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with conflict in the workplace. What stories or expressions help you?  What do you do to prevent “group think” from happening?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their online presence – to help them create engaging virtual programs.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new engagement skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Isn’t amazing how much drama occurs in the workplace?  It’s like they have their own reality TV show!  If you can relate, it’s costing you BIG time!  I specialize in coaching clients to kick conflict and chaos to the curb to get the respect and peace they deserve!

Find your voice with Joyce!

I would love to work with you!

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Queen

Have a great week.

 

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Isn’t It Amazing How Much Drama Occurs at Work?

Isn’t it amazing how much drama occurs at work?  It’s like they have their own reality TV show!
If you relate, it’s costing you productivity, morale, and the bottom line.

This post is all about YOU and your input!  You read this right.  I’m asking for my loyal blog readers to share what keeps them up at night.

I’m doing research on what kind of drama people are experiencing at work and home – especially since our world has been knocked upside down during this pandemic.  I will take this information and write future blogs and include scenarios in my online course:  Kick Conflict to the Curb.

Please comment below the poster.  Of course, all data will be anonymous if your ideas are used.
Thanks so much for helping me out to get this great information to share with the world.

Joyce Weiss

It’s YOUR Turn!  Please share your drama in the comment section or send me a private email.

Thanks!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week and let’s kick conflict to the curb together!

 

 

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Video on a Powerful Communication Strategy to Protect You When You are Angry

Do you want to use a powerful communication strategy to protect you before you open your mouth?
Do you ever say something and wish you didn’t?

If so, you are not alone.
I will give you a communication strategy that will help you by saying something that you wish you didn’t say.

This video will show you how to control your words before you decide to say something.  Stay tuned, next week’s video will take you even deeper!

https://youtu.be/vUpdemYWgs8

 

Communication Strategy 1:  Quote from Norman Cousins norman cousins | communication strategy

American journalist, Norman Cousins said, Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.

I just shared this communication strategy during an online communication program with a group of the chamber of commerce professionals.  They loved this communication strategy because it’s easy to use and they have stopped themselves from blurting out the wrong message.

Communication Strategy 2:  The GAP is an Important Tool

  • A stimulus is something that happens to us.  If someone interrupts you, the interruption is the stimulus.
  • The response is how we react after someone interrupts us.
  • THE GAP helps us make a choice on how we react.
  • Take a deep breath and step back for a moment.
  • We need to see the space between the stimulus and response instead of immediately talking.
  • Recognize when you are angry and get into the GAP.

Stay Connected with Me

Add a comment to my blog on how you deal with tough conversations and how you use the GAP.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me at my cell 248.310.6998 or 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable with their public speaking skills.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new public speaking skills immediately.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Stay tuned!
Next week I will go deeper and share a motivational story about you going to an angry neighbor’s house to borrow a rake. It’s a great story so please come back to watch the video.

Do you want more information on how to resolve conflict or advance your career?
Sign up for articles, newsletters, and videos HERE

Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Career Advancement is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!
Find your voice with Joyce!

 

 

 

 

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What is your Favorite Quote That Gets You Through the Day?

Do you have a favorite quote that represents how you think about life?
Would you like to put the words on a tee-shirt?  Don’t worry, I’m not selling clothes! 😉

This blog post consists of a video that describes my favorite quote by Martin Luther King Jr.  After you watch the video, please share your favorite quote that gets you through the day.

Joyce’s Favorite Quote by Martin Luther King Jr. favorite quote | Martin Luther King Jr.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Anyone who knows me realizes why I use this quote in my online communication course:  Kick Conflict to the Curb:  Get the Respect YOU Deserve!

I support clients who don’t know how to use their voices as much as they need to in order to get taken seriously or even heard.
Clients relate the moment I share Martin Luther King Jr’s words of wisdom.  We practice strategies to make them feel more confident.
I love this part of my job when people see the light after only a few sessions.

What’s Your Favorite Quote?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 🙂  You are always welcome to send me a private email
with concerns that you are experiencing at work.

Please contact me on my cell: 248.310.6998 or office: 800.713.1926 to explore how career coaching could be a great action step for your career development. There are many options to fit your budget and time schedule!   My last 4 clients have asked me to help them feel more comfortable giving tough conversations to employees who will not be returning to work after the pandemic.  It only takes a few sessions to make this happen.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m quick and clients use their new communication skills immediately to reduce their tension.  A win/win for all.  🙂

Until Next Week,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Career Coach and Communication Strategist

Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831