Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Resolve Conflicts: One Question That Changes Everything

Assumptions get us in trouble when we don’t know the whole story!
                                      Joyce Weiss, Queen of Conflict Resolution

In this issue of Kick Conflict to the Curb™, we will cover one of my favorite questions that I share with coaching clients and during facilitation sessions.

Managing conflict efficiently is essential in your continuous efforts to maintain an atmosphere of cooperation and respect. It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to easy resolutions. 

Are you ready to explore this question and how it can help you as a Department Head or Leader to de-escalate conflicts with your direct reports?

A Powerful Question that Changed the Way I Resolve Conflicts

The following story happened to me at the beginning of my training career. A Department Head invited me to facilitate a session about Kicking Conflict to the Curb™ with her team.

I have shared the opening story during numerous facilitation programs. Audiences relate to it and usually react with smiles or quiet laughter. Not this time. No one reacted!

A few minutes later, I asked them to divide into groups of 3 to discuss case scenarios their peers shared in the pre-interviews. No one stood up, and they just stared at me.

Yikes! What was going on? Self-doubt started creeping into my mind. What was I doing wrong? The session ended, and I approached my client to discuss the program. She smiled and said, “Joyce, your content was great. And I forgot to tell you that they had a two-hour cocktail party before your  session.”

I learned a huge lesson from that experience. I now ask clients if there will be cocktail parties before my session! 

The question that I learned was – What Don’t I Know?  This one question could have changed the entire training if I assertively asked the group, What don’t I Know? They would have told me that they needed a nap. 😉 It had nothing to do with the content or my skills. 

Today’s Recap  of The Power of What Don’t I Know to Resolve Conflicts

Think about your conflicts and how to use “What Don’t I Know” to stop assumptions or conflict from escalating. This one question gives you information that you probably didn’t think about.

It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to resolutions. 

The great news is that when you learn to stop any process that isn’t going well and ask, “What don’t I know?” it will be a lifesaver during meetings and even with your family! 🙂

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Join the conversation: What questions have you found effective for resolving conflict in your workplace? Please share your experience, and let’s learn from each other.

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Please join Willie Jones,  Central Distribution Manager at Behler-Young Company, and me on the live broadcast on LinkedIn on April 3rd at Noon ET. We will have an essential and engaging conversation on “Addressing Issues Head-On with Passion!”

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy 

And Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!

 

 

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Embracing Healthy Conflict – A Must-Know for Leaders!

 “The worse sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them.” – Bernard Shaw, Playwright

“You get what you tolerate!” – Joyce Weiss, Communication Coach

Joyce’s Thoughts About Healthy Conflict

Leaders who understand healthy conflict create a positive work environment. This article reviews essential strategies that clients learn during small group facilitation sessions. You will see an increase in motivation when your team feels heard and respected. This is nothing new, yet I hear coaching clients say they leave jobs when they cannot use their voices and feel invisible.

My central theme in everything I do as a communication coach is to be direct with leaders. They need to know their “tell approach,” and ignoring the needs of their employees never works. These are two reasons employees leave the company—it’s not for more money; it’s about feeling ignored and silenced.

What is Unhealthy Conflict? 

  • Build up of issues that needed to be addressed but instead went unresolved
  • Leaders who are blind-sighted by not addressing conflict
  • Department managers who are closed to continuous improvement or coaching due to their insecurity and risk-averse tendencies 

Great Leaders Know the Importance of Healthy Conflict:

  • Listen: Understand the issues underlying silence and conflicts
  • Ask for what they need from the team
  • Find out what others need first
  • Create openness and promote discussions
  • Clarify expectations before conflicts arise
  • Model the importance of healthy conflict at meetings
  • Make dissent normal and encourage employees to add their opinion
  • Include employees to be part of the coaching process to get input from everyone

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you?

You can share in the comment section or email me HERE.

You’re Invited to Schedule a Complimentary “Jam with Joyce” Coaching Session

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Let’s resolve any conflict you are experiencing at work or home. So you can transform from feeling overlooked to confidently using your voice.  
Let’s Kick Conflict to the Curb™ together!

Here’s my calendar:
mailto:joyce@joyceweiss.com

I support Department Managers in inspiring and educating their direct reports, tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to use their voices confidently without losing their cool. The result is that their input is respected and recognized, and their expertise is taken seriously.

Growth-minded individuals are also welcome to “Jam with Joyce.”

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

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Transform Self-Doubt Into Action

What if you could help your employees or yourself to transform self-doubt into positive action?
Are you asking yourself, “Joyce, how can I do that, it seems unrealistic.  It may seem that way, yet we also have options to transform self-doubt and turn it into an action step.

I had a chance to interview Chris Felton, Author of Think and Grow YOU, on my show Kick Conflict to the Curb™. Chris told me that he used to be a professional growth junkie for years. Especially when he listened to podcasts and read profound books without applying the principles. Chris figured this out years later. He heard about a new professional growth strategy and started to apply it to his life.  

Chris discovered he could transform self-doubt – “I am too old.” “I am too young.” “I don’t have the right experience.” And started using the WHAT IF exercise in his life.

Watch the short clip from Chris’s interview about the What IF Exercise.

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Transform Self-Doubt in Your Life

Chris changed “I don’t have the right experience” to “What if I have the right experience?” This shift to transform self-doubt into possibility helped Chris concentrate on his strengths. 

What Chris Felton’s WHAT IF exercise does is reverse that cycle and use it as a tool for possibility. Each of us has a wealth of potential inside us. The challenge lies in transforming that potential into concrete action. This is where Chris’s approach truly shines, as it can help anyone, regardless of their stage of life or experience, harness the power of their thoughts and, more importantly, put them into action.

This is not a shallow exercise in positive thinking without action. The first step is to stop our ego from keeping us stuck. The next step is to think of a realistic action step and start using this immediately.

Ask, What do I Have to Do?

The mind accepts repetitive thoughts, especially when we follow up with these words: “What do I have to do?”

Chris’s journey demonstrates that change and personal growth are feasible. More than just an intellectual exercise, it is a practical one that involves consistent and dedicated action. To break free from the constraints of self-doubt, we must challenge our negative assumptions with optimistic WHAT IFS. It’s about cultivating a mindset of possibility tempered with realism and following up with tangible steps. And remember, it’s not about achieving perfection but about making progress, however small it might seem at the time.

My Final Thoughts About How to Transform Self-Doubt

No matter how many self-help books we read, podcasts we listen to, or motivational speeches we attend, it’s all meaningless without application. The essence of real transformation lies in applying learned principles in our daily lives. That is the magic formula—turning our WHAT IFS into ‘What’s Next’ from dreams into action.

Take a page from Chris’s book and start practicing his WHAT IF exercise. As we’ve learned, the potential results could be life-changing. Finally, many professional growth junkies enjoy learning new ideas without implementing them. I always add the following formula in articles about putting thoughts into action: “Insight is 20%, and implementation is 80%.”

Watch the Entire Interview with Chris Felton

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Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post.  How does it resonate with you? How can you transform self-doubt into action?

You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

You’re Invited to Schedule a Complimentary “Jam with Joyce” Coaching Session

Let’s resolve any conflict you are experiencing at work or home. So you can transform from feeling overlooked to confidently using your voice.  

Here’s my calendar
Let’s reduce your stress to find inner peace again.

I support Department Managers to inspire and educate their direct reports who are tired of feeling invisible or overlooked. And are ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input is respected and recognized and their expertise is taken seriously.

Growth-minded individuals are also welcome to “Jam with Joyce”.

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to reduce stress and conflict. You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Thanks for reading and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

 

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Navigate Tricky Situations at Work with Confidence Video 1

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Are you Ready to Learn New Ways to Navigate Tricky Situations at Work?

Picture this: you’re about to leave the office, eagerly anticipating a personal commitment—perhaps childcare duties, supporting aging parents, or an eagerly awaited date night with your partner. Just as you’re getting ready to step out the door, you’re asked to stay late at work. We’ve all faced a dilemma at some point: handling such a situation without compromising your professionalism or personal responsibilities.

In this blog post, we’ll explore a powerful response strategy to gracefully manage these tricky work-life scenarios, a tactic frequently honed by coaching clients during group facilitation or one-on-one coaching sessions.

The Power Response: Confidently Navigate Tricky Situations at Work 

Imagine this scenario: you’re approached with a last-minute request to stay late, and your commitment looms large. Your response doesn’t need a convoluted explanation, a cascade of apologies, or a guilty plea. Instead, it can be as straightforward as this: “I made another commitment long before this meeting was scheduled. The first thing I’ll do tomorrow is to find out what was discussed, and I’ll take care of what needs to be done.”

This simple yet assertive response conveys your dedication to your professional responsibilities while honoring your pre-existing personal commitment. It’s a testament to your commitment to handling your part of the project promptly and effectively without compromising either side.

Joyce’s Final Thoughts on How to Navigate Tricky Situations at Work

In the intricate dance of balancing personal and professional commitments, it’s essential to have assertive responses at your disposal. By employing this straightforward strategy, you can navigate tricky workplace situations with confidence and poise. You don’t have to apologize excessively, make elaborate excuses, or carry the weight of guilt on your shoulders. Instead, you can stand your ground, maintain professionalism, and meet your personal commitments.

Stay Connected with Joyce

If you are grappling with similar workplace challenges or have questions about navigating tricky situations, please get in touch with me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com. Together, we’ll help you confidently “Kick Conflict to the Curb™” and strike that delicate work-life balance. We can set up a “Jam with Joyce” 20-minute session on Zoom. I enjoy having these meetings with growth-minded people who are constantly growing. 

Let me know what other Tricky Work situations you are dealing with so I can write a new post about it! This is a new series that I’m writing for my loyal readers. 🙂

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with Department Managers and their direct reports, Growth-Minded Individuals, and small groups tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input and contribution are recognized and respected. And their expertise is in constant demand. 

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach

And remember, You get what YOU tolerate!

P.S. If you want to discover two strategies to use during difficult conversations, click this link. There’s a video and content on how you can Kick Conflict to the Curb™!

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My Blueprint for Conflict: The Power of “What Don’t I Know?”

  • Are you ready to discover my blueprint for conflict?
  • Did you ever ask yourself: “Why didn’t I think of this? – after a stressful situation?
  • If so, you are in the right place.

Hi. I’m Joyce Weiss, Queen of Conflict Resolution & Communication Coach. I work with Department Managers, growth-minded individuals, and small groups tired of feeling invisible and ignored. And are ready to confidently use their voice without losing their cool. The result is their input is respected and recognized. 

This post has a short video describing a turning point in my career – and created a blueprint for conflict.

The video below is a signature story of how I learned a valuable lesson during a challenging facilitation. Hopefully, you’ll see the value of using curiosity questions after you hear my story. 🙂

You’ll find details on how you can reduce your conflict using this powerful question in the content below. Enjoy, and please share your “aha moment” after watching the video and reading this post. 

Conflicts, whether personal or professional, are an inevitable part of our lives. They arise from differences in perspectives, goals, and values or simply from miscommunication. But the real challenge isn’t the conflict itself but how we respond to it. Over the years, I’ve developed a blueprint for conflict that has revolutionized my approach to disagreements: the power of asking, “What don’t I know?”

1. Embracing Humility

The question “What don’t I know?” is rooted in humility. It acknowledges that our understanding is limited and that there’s always something more to learn. Before rushing to judgments or drawing conclusions, we must step back and realize that we might not have the full picture, just like I had to do during the frustrating facilitation that you saw in the video above.

2. Encouraging Curiosity

This question prompts us to become more curious. Instead of getting defensive, it encourages us to ask open-ended questions and actively listen to the other person’s perspective. How much conflict can be diffused when both parties feel heard and understood is amazing. “What don’t I know? – Makes the conversation 
safer and less judgmental.

3. Building Bridges, Not Walls as your Blueprint for Conflict

The moment we admit our lack of knowledge, we become more approachable. This vulnerability can build bridges of understanding, fostering stronger, more resilient relationships. When both parties in a disagreement are willing to ask this question, it shifts the dynamic from adversarial to collaborative.

Parting Words from Joyce

Conflicts are unavoidable. But by integrating the question “What don’t I know?” into our approach, we can transform these moments of friction into opportunities for understanding, growth, and deeper connections. Next time you find yourself in a disagreement, pause and ask yourself this powerful question. The answers may surprise you, and the resolution will be more fruitful than imagined.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me an email HERE

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with Department Managers, Growth-Minded Individuals, and small groups tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input and contribution are recognized and respected. And their expertise is in constant demand. 

Are you ready for the next level of support?

Email me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
I will send you my online calendar to schedule a “Jam with Joyce” complimentary discovery session.

What will you get from the 30-minute call?

  • Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
  • Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be
  • Create an action plan

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!

P.P.S. If you want more ideas on the importance of humility as a leader, check out the article below.

Humility: Some Leaders Have It and Other’s Don’t – Video

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831