Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

By Leave a Comment

Avoid Conversational Pitfalls!

  • Do you want to avoid conversational pitfalls?
  • Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you said, but how you said it?” 
  • Are you ready to stop putting your foot in your mouth?

If so, you are in the right place!
Florine Mark, Wellness Influencer and Author invited me to be a guest on her podcast, “Today’s Takeaway with Florine Mark.” 

We had an engaging, powerful, and fun conversation. This article contains some of the highlights of the podcast. You will find the link at the end of this article.

Sometimes having a conversation with another person can be a potentially explosive situation filled with dangerous mixed messages. Judging by the expression on the other person’s face, it’s obvious that he or she completely misinterpreted your message. 

Despite our best intentions, what we mean to say gets “lost in translation” traveling from our brain to our mouth. When we say, “Wow! You look wonderful for a woman your age!” instead of hearing the genuine compliment in our words, all she hears is “a woman your age.” It’s a stinging reminder of her age and that she looks good only in comparison to “older” women. Ouch! 

Being aware of the potential pitfalls in how we communicate could help us avoid these conflicts in the future. Are you ready to hear how to avoid conversational pitfalls and give you some tips on how to avoid them?

 What You’ll Hear in This Episode on Avoid Conversational Pitfalls:

  • Why do we often stick our foot in our mouth when we talk to others? 
  • What is an example of “the gap” in conversation, and how can it save us from embarrassing ourselves or hurting someone else’s feelings? 
  • What are curiosity questions? 
  • How can we help others feel more included at a social event or when introducing them to others? 
  • How can we learn to communicate with other individuals who don’t share our political or philosophical beliefs but still insist on debating or lecturing us?
  • What is a good way to communicate with people who have an illness but still want to have a great conversation with them? 
  • What is a conversation bully? 
  • How to get away when someone keeps monopolizing the conversation? 
  • How can we make conversations feel safe for others, where they feel less judged? 

The Following are my Quotes Used in the Avoid Conversational Pitfalls Podcast: avoid conversatinal pitfalls

  • “The gap is the space in between for us to think, hmm, how can I say this without putting my foot in the mouth? That gap is truly our friend. And many times we just don’t use it.”
  • “It’s more important for people to feel heard than what we say.” 
  • “People really need to pay attention to the fact that it’s more important for them to feel heard than for what we say.” 
  • “Listen and ask those curiosity questions. We have to stop thinking about what we want to say in the conversation.” 
  • “A safe conversation is when other people feel heard, and they feel comfortable speaking their voice.” — Joyce
  • “Stop taking everything so personally and telling yourself the wrong story.” 

 Florine Mark’s Ideas on Today’s Takeaway

“Certain people are gifted with the ability to speak with others in a way that draws people to them. These individuals can walk into a room, and soon, even complete strangers feel comfortable in their presence. People genuinely enjoy speaking with them and feel an immediate sense of connection. 

But not everyone has that skill. The good news is that with practice, we can all learn to become better communicators. We can take advantage of the fact that we were born with two ears and one mouth. Since our ears rarely get us into trouble and our mouth often does, sometimes the safest route is to listen more and speak less. By becoming better listeners, we become better communicators. 

Remember that every day is a gift and the gift we get from learning to hold our tongue and speak to others without alienating them is a gift that will draw others to us and make our relationships with others infinitely richer.”

 Here’s the Link to Today’s Takeaway with Florine Mark

https://888-3-florine.libsyn.com/avoiding-conversational-pitfalls

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with Department Managers and Leaders, Growth-Minded Individuals, and Small Groups tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input and contribution are recognized and respected. And their expertise is in constant demand. 

Here’s A TREAT FOR YOU

Are you ready for the next level of support from me? Send an email to Joyce@Joyceweiss.com and put “I’m ready” in the subject line. I will send you my online calendar to schedule a call.

What will you get from the call?

Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Create an action plan, so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT A SALES CALL! 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!

 

 

By Leave a Comment

Resolve Conflicts: The One Question That Changes Everything

In your continuous efforts to maintain an atmosphere of cooperation and respect, how you resolve conflicts efficiently has been paramount. It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to easy resolutions. 

Are you ready to explore this question and how it can help you as a Department Manager or Leader to de-escalate conflicts with your direct reports or even for you?

A Powerful Question that Changed the Way I Resolve Conflicts

A Department Manager invited me to speak to her department about Kicking Conflict to the Curb™. I interviewed a few people before the program to customize the session. They shared solid information on what they wanted to learn.

The opening story was one that I shared during numerous facilitation programs.  Audiences related to it and usually reacted with either smiles or quiet laughter.  Not this time. No one reacted!

A few minutes later, I asked them to divide into groups of 3 to discuss case scenarios that their peers shared in the pre-interviews. No one stood up, and they just stared at me.

Yikes! What was going on? Self-doubt started creeping into my mind. What was I doing wrong? The session ended, and I approached my client to discuss the program. She smiled and said, “Joyce, your content was great. I forgot to tell you that they had a two-hour cocktail party before your session.”

This was the beginning of my transition from a keynote speaker to a group facilitator. I learned a huge lesson from that experience.

The question that I learned was – What Don’t I Know?  This one question could have changed the entire training if I assertively asked the group, “What don’t I know?” They would have told me that they needed a nap. 😉 It had nothing to do with the content or my skills. 

The Power of What Don’t I Know to Resolve Conflicts

Think about your own conflicts and how you could use “What Don’t I Know” to stop assumptions or conflict from escalating even more. This one question gives you information that you probably didn’t think about.

It’s intriguing how a single well-phrased question can often uncover the heart of the matter, leading to resolutions that were once elusive. 

The great news is that I’ve learned how to stop any process that isn’t going well and ask, “What don’t I know?” Believe me; it has been a lifesaver during training and even with my family! 🙂

Clients discover numerous questions to ask, so they resolve conflicts and drama with their teams. They work like a charm when we add them to our toolbox and implement them.

Do you want to discover how your direct reports feel about communication in your organization? I will send you a survey to use with your team to keep them engaged. 

How do you know if this is for you? This is for you if you want to engage others to speak openly. Plus, you find the answers to “What don’t I know?” 

Reply to this mail and write “What don’t I know” in the subject line so you can Kick Conflict to the Curb™!

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with HR Pros or with their company’s growth-minded individuals directly. Who are tired of feeling invisible and overlooked. And are ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool.

They transform from no longer feeling invisible to having their input recognized and respected.

Joyce’s magic sauce in engaging participation is that she combines her 30 years as a storyteller, coach, and facilitator.

 

Reply to this email and write “What don’t I know?” in the subject line to receive your Survey to Help Your Team Feel Included.

 

Have a GREAT Week!
And Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate! 

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach and Queen of Conflict Resolution

 

By Leave a Comment

Are YOU Ready to Conquer Self-Doubt?

Here’s another article about self-doubt. The topic comes up during most individual and group facilitation coaching sessions. Self-doubt is worth repeating so we can finally conquer it when it seeps into our lives. 

self-doubt

 

As a leader, you probably know that being bullied and/or trying to hide the deep roots of imposter syndrome are two of the biggest challenges that can create an unproductive and unenjoyable workplace.

I recently discussed both of these issues as a guest on Management Consultant Tom Borg’s Business Show.

Our conversation revolved around the crucial topics of how bullies and imposter syndrome can be effectively dealt with when you have the right tools, and with insight and application, it can be instrumental in helping leaders overcome the anxiety and self-doubt that arises from these situations, empowering themselves and their teams.

 

How Imposter Syndrome Gets in Our Way

Imposter syndrome can often hinder your ability to speak up or engage in difficult conversations because there is a (false) belief that you’re not really as capable or qualified as others seem to think you are.

The short video is a clip from our important conversation.

Implement the Following Strategies to Eliminate Self-Doubt and Watch Self-Confidence Grow:

  • Take a moment to recall a situation in which you confidently used your voice in a powerful way.
  • What gave you the courage to do that?
  • This reaffirms your ability to make a positive impact. After all, if you did it once, you can do it again! 
  • Remind yourself of these instances, which helps strengthen your belief in your abilities.

     

    Create a Happier Working Environment

    By actively implementing these strategies, you can prevent self-doubt and imposter syndrome from negatively impacting your mindset and use your skills and talent to contribute, creating a better, happier, and more productive working environment for everyone.

    The more consistently we employ these techniques, the less control these negative influences will have over our lives. As a result, self-confidence will flourish, enabling you and your employees to thrive personally and professionally.

Do You Want to See the Entire Show?

If you’re interested in watching the entire show, just reply to this email with the word “Confidence,” and I’ll send you the replay!

The interview, lasting less than 30 minutes, covers important topics for Department Managers, Leaders, and Growth-Minded Individuals and provides valuable coaching insights that can be applied to your team.

Please let me know if you would like to access the complete interview by sending me an email with the word “Confidence,” and I will promptly provide you with the link.

I hope these strategies help you to experience more enjoyment at work and empower yourself and your team.

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach and works with HR Pros and Growth-Minded Individuals, tired of feeling invisible and overlooked. And are ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool.

They transform from no longer feeling invisible to having their input recognized and respected.

I enjoy supporting my loyal readers! 

If you’re ready for the next level of support, email me at joyce@joyceweiss.com to set up a complimentary clarity call.

I will personally respond and provide you with my online calendar.

What we will discover on the 20-minute clarity call:

  • Get extreme clarity on your current challenge
  • Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be
  • Create an action plan, so you know what your next steps are.

This is NOT a sales call! 🙂

Hope you have a great week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

P.S. Click Here if you want to read another article – “Transform Self-Doubt Into Action – Are you Ready?

You will find more strategies to put to use immediately and watch your self-confidence grow!

By Leave a Comment

Transform Self-Doubt Into Action: Are You Ready?

self-doubt

What if you could eliminate some of your self-doubt?
Are you telling yourself, Joyce, that’s not realistic? If so, you’re right! Sometimes we can take that self-doubt and turn it into an action step.

I had a chance to interview Chris Felton, Author of Think and Grow YOU, on my show Kick Conflict to the Curb™. Chris told me that he used to be a professional growth junkie, especially when he listened to podcasts and read profound books without applying the principles. 

Chris figured this out years later. In fact, he read or heard about a new professional growth strategy and started to apply it to his life.

Chris Felton’s “What If” Excercise to Reduce Self-Doubt

With this in mind, we think of a goal for ourselves. This is when our ego stops us. “We are too old.” “I am too young.” “You lack the right experience.”

Chris changed his self-doubt and started using the WHAT IF exercise in his life.

As a result, he changed “I don’t have the right experience” to “What if I have the right experience?” This shift from self-doubt to possibility was the beginning for Chris to stop his ego from stopping him. He now helps clients do the same thing.

The Power of the “What If” Excercise to Reduce Self-Doubt

What Chris Felton’s WHAT IF exercise does is reverse that cycle and use it as a tool for possibility. Each of us has a wealth of potential inside us. The challenge lies in transforming that potential into concrete action.

This is where Chris’s approach truly shines, as it can help anyone, regardless of their stage of life or experience, harness the power of their thoughts and, more importantly, put them into action.

This is not a shallow exercise in positive thinking without action. The first step is to stop our ego from keeping us stuck. The next step is to think of a realistic action step and start using this immediately.

The mind accepts repetitive thoughts, especially when we follow up with these words: “What do I have to do?”

Joyce’s Thoughts About the “What If” Excercise

Chris’s journey demonstrates that change and personal growth are feasible. More than just an intellectual exercise, it is a practical one that involves consistent and dedicated action. To break free from the constraints of self-doubt, we must challenge our negative assumptions with optimistic WHAT IFS.

It’s about cultivating a mindset of possibility tempered with realism and following up with tangible steps. And remember, it’s not about achieving perfection but about making progress, however small it might seem at the time.

No matter how many self-help books we read, podcasts we listen to, or motivational speeches we attend, it’s all meaningless without application. The essence of real transformation lies in applying learned principles in our daily lives. That is the magic formula—turning our WHAT IFS into ‘What’s Next’ from dreams into action.

Take a page from Chris’s book and practice his ‘WHAT IF exercise. As we’ve learned, the potential results could be life-changing.

Finally, many professional growth junkies enjoy learning new ideas without implementing them. I always add the following formula in articles about putting thoughts into action: “Insight is 20%, and implementation is 80%.

Watch the short clip from Chris’s interview about the What IF Exercise.
https://youtu.be/Kw3obDn87is

Let’s Stay Connected

I honor my loyal readers. And the door is always open for you to discuss any conflict with me on a Complimentary VIP 20-minute coaching session. 

What will you get from the call?

  • Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
  • Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be
  • Create an action plan so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT A SALES CALL! 🙂

All you have to do is email me, and we can easily find time for each other.

Who is Joyce Weiss?

Joyce is the Queen of Conflict Resolution and works with Department Managers and Leaders and Growth-Minded Individuals tired of feeling invisible or overlooked and ready to confidently use their voice – without losing their cool. The result is their input and contribution are recognized and respected. And their expertise is in constant demand. 

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!

 

By Leave a Comment

Conflict 2.0: Upgrading Solutions with Accountability During Conflict

Accountability during conflict is a significant first step to resolving the most difficult conversations.

Are you ready for some ideas to improve your relationships during stress and feel more in control? If so, you’re in the right place!

Chris Felton, Author of “Think and Grow You,” was a recent guest on my show, Kick Conflict to the Curb™. The theme: Accountability during the conflict. 

We started the engaging interview with a quote I read in his book, “Life would be easy if it weren’t for people.” This is a preview of what is to come! 🙂

Chris shared the following ideas about accountability during conflict:

  • We judge and resent others before taking a hard look at our role during the conflict
  • Life won’t work when we don’t have great relationships
  • It’s exhausting to fix others (Chris did this for years – like many of us)
  • It’s not the other person; it’s the work we have to do for ourselves

Thanks to Chris Felton for such an engaging interview. Check out his book, “Think and Grow You.”

accountability during conflict

Here’s my take on Chris’s ideas on accepting accountability during conflict

It’s easy to blame and judge others, especially when we feel we’ve been “wronged.” “They did this to me,” or “It’s their fault.”

During coaching sessions, I ask clients to look inside and find at least one action they took to make the other person react negatively.

Of course, I’m not talking about abusive relationships. This is another story; we must remove ourselves from these dangerous people. 

Clients discover that not standing up for themselves allows the other person to continue their rude behavior. Or using sarcastic remarks could fuel the fire.

Once personal accountability enters the blaming game, it’s easier to gain control. However, this also stops us from playing the victim. It’s time to figure out how to have that critical conversation with the other person without judgment. 

How to compare Chris’s interview to The Velveteen Rabbit

Chris was as honest as The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. If you don’t know her book, here’s my favorite part about being real:

“Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been cut off, your eyes drop out, you get loose in the joints, and you are very shabby. But these things don’t matter because once you are REAL, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

How to walk away from toxic relationships

At times we need to walk away from toxic relationships. So we tried everything we could, including accepting responsibility for our actions.

I’ve had to do this for several toxic relationships in my life. “Irrelevant” is the word that saves me after I walk away from these people. They are irrelevant in my life. I may still see them due to work or even family functions. It’s easier for me to be with them because they no longer bother me. They are irrelevant in my life!

How do Chris’s interview and this article resonate with you? I look forward to answering your questions and comments.

The link below is a 2-minute 46-second clip from Chris Felton’s interview. 

https://youtu.be/uruVf22h5ZU

Take out your popcorn and enjoy.

Here’s A TREAT FOR YOU

Do you want to improve your relationships and get more inner peace?  All you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com to grab your FREE communication assessment.

You want this because you’ll: 

  • Have increased self-confidence because you no longer dread difficult conversations.
  • Experience more enjoyment at work because the drama has been eliminated.
  • No longer feel invisible; instead, your input is recognized and respected.

If this is something that you want, all you have to do is go to www.KickConflicttotheCurb.com

If you already took the Kick Conflict to the Curb Assessment and are ready for the next level of support, email me at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
I will send you my online calendar to schedule a call.

What will you get from the call?

  • Get extreme clarity on one of your current challenges
  • Understand what is necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
  • Create an action plan so you know what your next steps are

THIS IS NOT A SALES CALL! 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

Thanks for reading, and remember – You Get What You Tolerate!

 

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831