Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Communication Strategist and Master Coach

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5 Quick Tips to Confidently Speak UP in Conflict

What do the words “Confidently Speak Up” mean to you?

Are you thinking of a bully or other difficult people at work or home?

You’ll find out what these three words mean to me after you watch the video below.

Audacious Confidence™ Growth Expert, Alicia Couri, host of her TV show, Unleash your Audacious Confidence invited me to be a guest on her show. The topic was Confidence in Conflict.

You’ll find the episode when you see Confidence in Conflict on July 25, 2022.

https://winwinwomen.tv/show/unleash-your-audacious-confidence

What Happens When We Don’t Confidently Speak Up?

  • It affects us mentally, physically, and emotionally
  • We stay up at night and can’t stop thinking about what we need to say
  • Doctors warn us that stress is getting us sick

We Need to Make a Change When We Notice the Signs

Our negative mindset keeps us stuck.

We allow others to control us, especially if the bully is our boss, a relative, or a friend. 

The signs can be any of the following:

  • Ruminating messages that go on and on
  • Being uncomfortable around that person
  • Feeling depressed
  • Avoiding conflict is not confident behavior

How to Make Conversations Safe to Confidently Speak Up

Nancy, a coaching client, had a bully as a friend. Nancy came to me because she was sick and tired of his constant judgment. 

She used the following strategy from the Weiss Communication Success Plan:

I don’t want to create stress between us. I do want to stop our constant disagreement and move forward.

The bully stopped his negative behavior and judgment. He started to respect Nancy because she stood up for herself.

Body Language Needs to Be Strong When We Confidently Speak Up

  • Stand up straight
  • Use a strong voice
  • Look into the bully’s eyes
  • Keep your hands open, which shows you are embracing the relationship
  • Be calm

All of these body language skills show that you mean it! This may disarm the bully from attacking you in the future. 

Thanks to Truth and Deception Detection  Expert Janette Ghedotte for sharing her Accurate Body Language Strategies with me during her boot camps.

Don’t Use These Tips When The Bully is a HOT HEAD

Especially when they are extremely angry. And if their nostrils are open and close like a bull.

This is not the time to have a conversation. You can say, “Let’s table the discussion for tomorrow.”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please comment about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

You are my loyal readers and are always welcome to contact me for a 20-minute exploratory session on any frustration or conflict you want to resolve. Let’s start a great
discussion to discover how you can stop feeling stuck anywhere in your life.

Are you ready to discover how you react before, during, and after conflict?
Do you want to reduce your inner stress by discovering blind spots and what triggers set you off? 

Send me an email, and let’s discuss how the Conflict Dynamic Profile can help you resolve your conflict and improve relationships.

I’m always looking for engaging guests on my newly launched LIVE BROADCAST: Kick Conflict to the Curb. Let me know if you want to discuss the possibility of being a guest. I’ll showcase your skills and expertise. The theme is resolving conflict – what a shock, right? 🙂

Until Next Time, Be Well and Happy!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.
We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more tips and strategies for you or your direct reports to reduce stress and conflict.
You’ll find playlists on dealing with bullies, tough conversations, and interviews with thought-provoking HR Professionals and leaders.

Thanks for reading, and remember: You get what YOU tolerate!

 

 

 

 

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How to Stop Your Top Talent Leaving | Video

Is your top talent leaving?

Do you know why they leave?

Do you want to do something about this?

Watch the video below to discover 3 powerful phrases that can stop your stars from leaving your company.

Are you ready to discover how to lower the chance of this from happening?

Let’s address the elephant in the room

Many leaders don’t even ask the reason why top talent is leaving.

They don’t have the skills or don’t know that asking WHY can help keep star employees from exiting.
Coaching clients who implement these communication skills report back to me with some great news. Additionally, they ask hard questions to these great employees.
Many times this important discussion stopped their employees from leaving the company.

Step 1: Stop Your Top Talent Leaving

Help them feel heard. 

Here’s an example:
An HR Professional client, Bob described how his employee Sue was very productive but had lost her motivation.
Bob spoke to Sue and discovered that Sue was risk-averse.

Things were changing too fast for her. She didn’t feel secure or heard.
Additionally, Bob asked Sue how he could help her feel more secure.

Step 2: Stop Your Top Talent Leaving

Here are phrases that will help you immediately:

  • Tell me more
  • I’m curious
  • I noticed

    This is how Bob used these powerful communication strategies:

    “I noticed that normally you add a lot to our team. Lately, I haven’t heard you share. Is everything ok?”

    First Sue opened up about how she doesn’t do well when things change so rapidly. Next, she felt less stressed when Bob took the time to ask her how he could help. And, by listening to Sue’s challenges.

    These phrases help set the stage for having an open conversation. Plus the other person feels heard.

    I Invite You to a FREE Webinar – “Speak Up without Stressing Out” sponsored by BigVu.

It takes place LIVE on 3/3 at 3 pm EST. 

Discover How to:
      * Start a tough conversation
      * Get into a safe place before you open your mouth
      * Control your frustration/anger with difficult people
      * Feel comfortable recording your videos

Click on the graphic below to go live on youtube on 3/3 at 3 pm EST. Make sure to put this event on your calendar! 🙂

Here are more links for you to use so you can hear me live.

YouTube

Linkedin

 

The video below gives you more details.

 

I’ll save a good seat for you. 🙂

 

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Squid Game is a Hit. Here’s Why It’s So Popular

Have you heard of the Netflix TV series, Squid Game? 

If so, I look forward to hearing your opinion about this series. Especially because it examines the conflict among privilege, humanity, and survival.

Here’s a Description of Squid Game

The series revolves around a contest where 456 players in deep financial debt put their lives at risk. And, they play a series of children’s games for the chance to win a ₩45.6 billion prize {south Korean won}. The title of the series draws from a similarly named Korean children’s game.

Social and mental health issues, from gambling addiction to the abuse of social privilege and wealth are part of the equation. 

It’s like watching Hunger Games and Lord of the Flies yet with more brutality, violence, and dark themes. Yikes! 

In Squid Game, the lack of empathy and cruel abuse of power is more difficult to watch than the violence.

Hwang had conceived of the idea based on his own economic struggles early in life as well as the class disparity in South Korea. 

Squid Game was released worldwide on September 17, 2021, to critical acclaim and international attention. Attracting more than 142 million member households during its first four weeks from launch, it is Netflix’s most-watched series to date, surpassing 2020’s Bridgerton.

Why I Decided to Watch Squid Game

squid game
Copyright: loeskieboom

I was warned by my kids that it’s violent, dark, and twisted. They also shared that it could be a series that I’d like because it’s about the survival of the fittest, teams, and the good and ugly sides of humanity. And, it’s about inner conflict – my kids know me. 🙂

I can’t stop watching it. It pulled me in immediately. At this time I’ve only seen 4 out of 9 episodes.

Lessons Learned from the Popular Show

No one knows what’s going on in other people’s lives. Most of the characters are in debt, gamblers, lie to their families, and struggle to survive. 

It’s sad to see. We all know people who suffer from family members who are desperate and make bad decisions. They just can’t get out of their conflict. And, they constantly wait for the BIG horse race to make them rich.

Have You Seen Squid Game?

Please share your opinions if you’ve seen even 1 episode. 

If you decide to watch it after your read this blog, please don’t do this right before you go to bed. It’s so shocking and the violence is even worse than Pulp Fiction.

Next week I will share my thoughts after I finish the series.  I’m thrilled to say that there are only 9 episodes. Something keeps me glued to the screen. When I figure this out, I will let you know.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach emerging leaders, executives, and teams to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.

Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

 

 

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A Motivational Quote to Keep You Going Even During Dark Times

I recently saw the motivational quote below and knew that I needed to make a poster for my loyal readers!  This post was written during the pandemic of 2020. The message is necessary more so than ever before. Certain friends know that when we get together (at a distance, of course) I don’t mind talking about the latest news – ONLY if it’s for a few minutes and NOT the entire evening. I’m sure you or even some of your friends, colleagues, or family are glued to the TV for hours. This is dangerous for our mental health. Being informed is mandatory in my book. Concentrating on all the negativity is crippling.

Coaching clients see that they are putting themselves in harm’s way when they only concentrate on the darkness.  It’s hard work to change our attitudes.  So hard.  It’s possible when we put our minds on high alert that we can get unstuck and actually find opportunities even during the darkness. I’m hearing patterns after I ask clients, “How have you changed during this pandemic – both positively and negatively?”

      Here are some of the negative responses 

  • I’m having trouble sleeping
  • I’m worried about bills
  • I hope my relative doesn’t get the virus
  • I’m concerned about money or my job
  • I’m afraid that the virus will last a long time
  • Our kids miss their social life and this pandemic is affecting them

    Here are some of the positive responses 

  • I appreciate my family more than ever before
  • I’m taking care of myself by exercising more
  • I’m taking advantage of this new virtual world by taking powerful classes
  • I’m rethinking my career

motivational quote

Why this motivational quote means so much to me

Many of you have seen several posts about launching my Online Course: Kick Conflict to the Curb: Get the Respect You Deserve. This idea came out of the pandemic. I was one of the lucky ones who joined several online courses with top-notch trainers.  Gina Carr, Terry Brock, and Bob Pike have helped me focus on an entirely new career – virtual training. It was difficult finding time to attend all the classes because I was still working with coaching clients even during this dark time. Of course, I didn’t know at the time how impactful this training was going to be for me. I just knew I had to do something to make sure I didn’t get pulled into all the craziness.

My next course starts on September 15th. I’m keeping this class small to concentrate on the needs of each person who signs up. That’s why seating is limited. September 10th is when registration closes. Please visit my landing page HERE to find out if the class is right for you or your direct reports.

I’m here to answer your questions and to share all the exciting details including that each participant will have a laser-focused 60-minute phone coaching session with me.  30 minutes when the class starts to set goals and discuss current conflicts and 30 minutes with me at the end of the class to make sure you reach your goals.

How Does the Motivational Quote Speak to You?

  • How has the pandemic changed you both positively and negatively?
  • What do you do to stay balanced during the light and dark of the pandemic?

I encourage you to reach out to me with questions about your own conflict resolution issues or for direct reports. Don’t worry, I will not sell you anything when you call! This master coach and communication strategist loves what I do and I care about clients and advocates.  My cell;  248.325.8101.

Have a GREAT Week!

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
The Queen of Conflict Resolution

 

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Are You Ready to Implement Two of my Favorite Conflict Resolution Skills?

  • Are you ready to learn and implement 2 of my favorite communication tools?
  • Do you want to hear inside coaching secrets on how clients have improved their success at work after using these powerful conflict resolution skills?

If you saw my blog post last week, you read all about the September 15, 2020 launch of my online class – Kick Conflict to the Curb.  This week you will experience 2 of my favorite conflict resolution skills and tools.  It includes 2 videos on how to use Verbal Aikido and Be Direct with Respect®.  Please let me know how I can help you decide if the class is right for you or your direct reports.

Conflict Resolution Skills #1:  Verbal Aikido

Verbal Aikido is a conflict resolution skill that helps you gain control when someone pushes your hot buttons. The person who pulls back when he or she is pushed is the stronger one in the conversation.  Here’s an incident that happened to me during a conflict resolution program with first responders.  I was speaking about verbal aikido when an angry participant stood up and said, “Joyce, you seem like a nice lady, but this will not work on the streets.”  I said to myself, “Joyce, you teach this stuff, use verbal aikido!” I said, “You’re right, this strategy won’t work on the streets.  It will work in your office with your colleagues and direct reports.”  The participant relaxed and smiled and said, “Joyce YOU are right.  Thanks for setting me straight.”

You’re right are words that diffuse the hostile person.  We don’t need to agree with someone if they are NOT right.  If they are correct, try doing this next time and you will see the other person stop pushing back.  Hey, I know this stuff works, because I only coach skills that I’ve tried in my own life! 🙂  Check out verbal aikido in the search bar to the right to find more articles and videos on this important conflict resolution skill.

Conflict Resolution Skills #2:  Be Direct with Respect®

Be Direct with Respect® is my secret sauce.  Clients have been using this trademark of mine for over 30 years!  It’s powerful and easy to use.  This is the formula:
I am_____________________________________(your emotional response)
When____________________________________(non-judgmental)
Because__________________________________(how it affects you)

The story below gives you a perfect example that one of my clients used with her boss after he ridiculed her in front of her direct reports.  After practicing this tool during the online course – Kick Conflict to the Curb she felt comfortable with her new skill.  She was ready to speak to her boss.  “Ron, I was embarrassed when I was ridiculed in front of my direct reports because it discounted my leadership role.  I appreciate constructive feedback because that’s how I’ve grown professionally.  I would appreciate it if you speak to me privately in the future.”  Ron was impressed with her direct and respectful communication.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please let me know your questions about Kick Conflict to the Curb to see if the class is right for you or your direct reports.  The cool thing is that we can create your private course with your team – just think, less stress, drama, and MORE peace! Send me a private email on what stress or conflict issues you are experiencing and how I can help you learn and implement powerful conflict resolution skills.

Until next week,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP
Conflict Resolution Queen
Communication Strategist and Master Coach

Remember, You Get What YOU Tolerate!

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831

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