Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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A Powerful Reminder to Reduce Drama in Your Life

reduce drama

  • Do you want to reduce drama in your life?
  • Are there people whose high drama wastes your time?
  • Does this affect your stress level at work or home?

Most of us have drama queens or kings who zap our energy. Yet, we forget that we can set boundaries and actually change this reality.

Yearly I do a serious job of spring and fall cleaning. And, my list consists of clothes, clutter in my home or office, and relationships that are toxic.  All of these things reduce drama in my life – Big Time!

You heard me right.  We all have those who constantly complain yet never change anything in their life.  Or, their life is full of such hype it’s exhausting to listen. Life is too short to be around draining people who rain on our parade.

Here’s how I reduce drama and handle my spring and fall cleaning with these people:

  • Make a list of those who drain you.
  • Add people to your list who you want and need to spend more time with. 
  • Who makes you laugh, smile, think, learn, etc?   
  • Compliment those people in your life who you enjoy. 

Remember this the next time you speak to a friend who complains about everything.  In fact, I’m not saying to end the relationship. Set boundaries to protect yourself from this drama king or king. Make sure that you limit visits with this person.

Yes, I do this too.  There are certain people who need to be in my life. And they are HUGE triggers for me. When I’m on the phone with these triggers, I make sure and say that I only have 10 minutes to talk before the next zoom meeting. This really helps.

Life is too short not to be with those who support you and bring joy to your life.   

Please let me know how this photo of drama kings and queens speaks to you in the comment section.

Stay Connected with Me

Please add a comment to this blog on how you deal with those drama kings or queens on your team or in your life. 

  • What stories or expressions help you?
  • What boundaries do you use?

You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my readers! 

You are always welcome to send me a private email with concerns that you are experiencing at work. I’m your communication coach. And, I’m here to help you reduce drama NOW!

 Until next time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

Have a great week.

Remember, YOU Get What YOU Tolerate!

Find your voice with Joyce!
Send me an email if you want to grab your complimentary cool booklet on “19 Surefire Ways to Bring More Joy & Harmony Into Your Life.”

PS Communication Coaching is like riding a bike. Shift Gears from coasting to owning the road!

 

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2 Positive Quotes to Help You Look at the Bright Side

Happy Fall Everyone! 

This week’s article is all about helping you look at the bright side.  And, you will find 2 positive quotes to get you started. 
I decided to take a short break from messages about resolving conflict. There can be so much to celebrate in our life. Even though drama seeps into our day. 🙂

Positive Quotes #1

 

People ask me why I smile so much. Full disclosure here! My smile lines are huge. Believe me, I don’t show a happy face 24/7. Yes, Joyce Weiss, the upbeat person is a human being.

I choose to be optimistic. It’s in my DNA. And, I’m lucky to have had parents who were such great role models in this area.  They didn’t have it easy like so many of your parents. They did their best to look for opportunities when “life got in our way.” 

There is so much negativity surrounding us.  It’s hard at times to disconnect our brains from the bad stuff. It’s a challenge to look for opportunities when we are so gloomy.

This pandemic was tough for all of us.  Obviously, many of us experienced horrific loss and sickness. I was fortunate to join groups like the video rock starz and The World of Business and Executive Coaching Summit (WBECS).  This is where I learned so many new techniques about coaching and online courses. There was literally no time for me to stay stuck. I don’t take this for granted.

What about you? What do you do to stay optimistic about your future? 

Positive Quotes #2

 

positive quote

This is one of my favorite positive quotes. And, it shows up in my life quite often.  Optimism sure helps when we try new things. And, they don’t work out as well as we wanted.  Sound familiar? 

I prepared for a master class and invited clients and prospects to my new online course.  The master class was a hit UNTIL – I started aggressively selling. And, it was not the real me. I took courses on how to create a successful master class. And, followed every detail from my instructor since she was the expert.  

The moral of this story is that we need to be true to ourselves. The strong selling portion was just not me. People did sign up. That’s not the point! I felt like another person was doing that portion of the master class. 

The good news is that we learn when we fall. This wasn’t a huge mistake. BUT, it was enough for me to know that I need to rethink the next master class. Believe me when I say that I learned – no more selling on steroids!

What about you? What lesson did you learn when you “fell off your mountain?”

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you? Which one of the positive quotes speaks to you? 
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. Joyce Weiss – the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.
Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call.

 

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Gain Control if You Work for a Real Jerk: 3 Easy Tips You Can Use: Part 5

  • Do you want to stop your inner stress if you work with a real jerk?real jerk | work for a jerk
  • Are you stuck with a nonteam player who is constantly putting others {even you} down?
  • It took me a while to figure out how to do this myself.

This article is about 3 easy strategies that I experimented with when dealing with my real jerk.  They are tested and yes, they do work. 🙂

As you know, your rude coworker drains a lot of time and energy from anyone who works with this real jerk. 

An interesting study about real jerks

Christine Porath, the author of Mastering Civility, surveyed 800 people across 17 industries. Porath concluded that when employees don’t feel respected, their productivity suffers. 

Here are some shocking statistics from Porath’s research:

  • 25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers when they work with a real jerk. {Ouch!}
  • 12% said they left their job because of this rudeness.

My question to you and your leaders is how much is this costing your organization from not stopping these real jerks? I hope you’re listening! 😉 

This is the final article in the 5 part series: “Working with a Jerk.”

The previous articles covered real jerks who:

  • Purposely stepped on a co-worker’s foot 
  • Sarcastically ridiculed a colleagues’ clothes
  • Erased a co-worker’s name from the company recognition board because he was jealous of the co-worker’s success 

I have not made up any of these stories.  You will find more in future articles. Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks

Here we go with 3 ideas you can use to reduce your inner stress if you work for a real jerk

Practice THE GAP Technique: Strategy #1 to reduce inner stress working with a real jerk

THE GAP is your Safe Place to decide what you will say or not say before opening up your mouth. This is one of the strategies in the WEISS COMMUNICATION SUCCESS PLAN. real jerk

  • Decide how you will handle this situation. 
  • Are you going to speak directly to your real jerk? 
  • Do you want to discuss this with HR before you move forward?
  • Is it better to avoid this person?

Talk with your rude colleague:  Strategy #2 to reduce your drama with your real jerk

This is a great idea if you have a solid relationship with this co-worker.  

  • Focus on the issue – not the person.
  • Discuss how this negative behavior is harming your relationship.
  • Listen to what your colleague says and do your best NOT to push back.
  • Get into his or her shoes and gain perspective on what you are hearing.

You may discover that this rudeness has nothing to do with work. And, when you have a positive conversation, things may work out better for you.

There’s always a risk that things may backfire. For those of you who know me, go on and say out loud what I will write;  “It’s worth the risk!”  At least you started the conversation. And, you expressed how you are being impacted.

Decide the pros and cons to leaving this toxic environment: Strategy #3 to gain control with your real jerk

The biggest issue is when leaders have a blind eye to these real jerks. They are doing so much harm when they don’t address these rude people. real jerk | work for a jerk | coaching your team | action plans | action steps

Ask yourself the following questions before you decide to leave:

  • How is your current job affecting your life outside of work?
  • Have you gone to your Doctor because of this inner stress?
  • How would leaving or not leaving affect your career?
  • Did you discuss your concern with HR or your supervisor?

This was a hard decision for clients who decided to leave a company due to a real jerk. If you are experiencing this now, feel free to reach out and we can have a laser-focused session. 

Send me an email for this discovery call.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Please share your real jerk stories with me! You will receive a secret gift from me – just for sending your story to Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com

Below are the links to all 4 articles on “Working with a Jerk”:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Stop You Inner Stress with Jerks

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. You have the shareable social media links below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

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Stop Your Inner Stress with a Rude Jerk: Part 4

This series: Working with a Rude Jerk is getting some attention! 

I’m receiving emails with questions on how to handle these rude people. This article describes another true story from one of my clients.

The next article contains specific strategies on what you can do. Especially, when the rude jerk tries to pull you down. And your inner stress is affected.

You’ll find the links below if you missed the first 3 articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

True Story # 4 on Working with a Rude Jerk

Todd is a sales rep for a mid-sized firm. He received a promotion for selling the most products in the company for the first quarter. The leaders wrote Todd’s name on a huge recognition board in the lunchroom. 

Can you guess what happened next? You are correct if you guessed that someone erased Todd’s name from the board. 

The horrific part is that no one at Todd’s firm addressed this mean-spirited act.

What Would You Do if You Were Todd’s Boss?

Here are several ideas shared by clients:

The leaders need to call an all-employee meeting to address this rude act. The message:  supporting each other on the team. Be very specific on the consequences when the team tries to sabotage other’s success. Discuss how to improve morale and what the team needs. 

Some leaders don’t have the communication skills on how to stop the negativity. And how to handle a rude jerk in their workplace. Morale spirals down when a negative culture is allowed. Many of you may have left a company when leaders allow this kind of behavior. It takes a toll on the team when a rude jerk is allowed to get away with sabotaging others. I hear stories like this way too often.

Joyce, What Can We Do Working With a Rude Jerk?

I will have an entire answer in next week’s blog.  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  1. Speak to HR about what suggestions they have for you.  Make sure that you bring enough data.  This is not a communication of whining and complaining. It needs to be specific details and think of possible suggestions before you take this issue to leadership.
  2. Talk to the Jerk on your own if you have a decent relationship with him or her. Ask questions to help you understand why he or she was rude.

    The great news is that my new and updated website and youtube channel will be ready soon. There will be articles and videos addressing these issues. And, you will find out how easy it is to work with me as your personal conflict resolution and communication coach. 

You’ll find the links below if you missed the first 3 articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life

Stop Your Self Doubt with Jerks

Working with a Jerk

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

 

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Do You Work with a Jerk?  Here is a Tip That You Can Use: Story #3

This is the 3rd article on the topic Working With a Jerk.  There will be more stories like this because my readers have been sending me private messages describing their experiences.  I have enough examples to cover 6 months of articles! 

Here are the links for those who didn’t see the previous articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: #2

Are you ready for this week’s true story?  I hope so because it is another unbelievable one.

Do You Work with a Jerk?:  The Story

Janis and her mom (Pat) work together in a mid-sized company.  Jim is a colleague of theirs and is known for his sarcastic and biting words.  Janis, Pat, and Jim were talking at lunch. And Jim pointed his finger at Janis and said,  “Janis your haircut suits you.  Additionally, your outfit is very professional – not like your mom’s wardrobe.” 

Did you catch your breath?  Yes, this really did happen.

Here are Four Questions if You Work for a Jerk:work for a jerk

  1. What would you say to Jim if you were Janis?

  2. How would you communicate to Jim if you were Janis’s mother?

  3. What would you say to Jim if you were Jim’s boss and heard this interaction?

  4. What story do you have about working for a jerk? 

Please add your comments in the comment section.  Additionally, you can send me a private email

Joyce, How Would You Handle This when You Work with a Jerk? work for a jerk

If I were Janis I would step back after the shock wore off and say something to Jim.  We don’t always have to respond immediately. Delaying our words is a great strategy at times. It is smart to back off and create a  plan.  “I was caught off guard” is my favorite phrase to use when I speak to someone the next day. 

“Jim, I was caught off guard when I heard those mean comments about my mom. Especially, when she was standing right next to us.  My mom and I were surprised by such insensitive words. I’m curious if you are aware of how these negative comments came across. The next time you want to speak to us, make sure and think before you speak” 

This way you are setting up a boundary for Jim, and “hopefully” he will respond differently before he opens up his mouth again.  If he repeats his insensitive comments, I would do my best to stay away from him.  He will probably choose someone else to ridicule.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here are the links for those who didn’t see the previous articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: #2

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach & Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831