Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Do You Work with a Jerk?  Here is a Tip That You Can Use: Story #3

This is the 3rd article on the topic Working With a Jerk.  There will be more stories like this because my readers have been sending me private messages describing their experiences.  I have enough examples to cover 6 months of articles! 

Here are the links for those who didn’t see the previous articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: #2

Are you ready for this week’s true story?  I hope so because it is another unbelievable one.

Do You Work with a Jerk?:  The Story

Janis and her mom (Pat) work together in a mid-sized company.  Jim is a colleague of theirs and is known for his sarcastic and biting words.  Janis, Pat, and Jim were talking at lunch. And Jim pointed his finger at Janis and said,  “Janis your haircut suits you.  Additionally, your outfit is very professional – not like your mom’s wardrobe.” 

Did you catch your breath?  Yes, this really did happen.

Here are Four Questions if You Work for a Jerk:work for a jerk

  1. What would you say to Jim if you were Janis?

  2. How would you communicate to Jim if you were Janis’s mother?

  3. What would you say to Jim if you were Jim’s boss and heard this interaction?

  4. What story do you have about working for a jerk? 

Please add your comments in the comment section.  Additionally, you can send me a private email

Joyce, How Would You Handle This when You Work with a Jerk? work for a jerk

If I were Janis I would step back after the shock wore off and say something to Jim.  We don’t always have to respond immediately. Delaying our words is a great strategy at times. It is smart to back off and create a  plan.  “I was caught off guard” is my favorite phrase to use when I speak to someone the next day. 

“Jim, I was caught off guard when I heard those mean comments about my mom. Especially, when she was standing right next to us.  My mom and I were surprised by such insensitive words. I’m curious if you are aware of how these negative comments came across. The next time you want to speak to us, make sure and think before you speak” 

This way you are setting up a boundary for Jim, and “hopefully” he will respond differently before he opens up his mouth again.  If he repeats his insensitive comments, I would do my best to stay away from him.  He will probably choose someone else to ridicule.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here are the links for those who didn’t see the previous articles in the series:

Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: #2

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach & Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

 

 

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Stop Your Self-Doubt with Jerks: How to Deal with Jerks#2

Do you want to stop your self-doubt with jerks?
Are you ready to go deep to stop your self-doubt?

If so, this article is just what your Dr. ordered.

Last week I shared a true story about my client Bob whose co-worker, Gary, caused havoc for him at work.  Gary actually walked into Bob’s office to step on Bob’s foot purposely.
Here’s the link for those who didn’t see this article:  Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

I asked my readers to think about what they would do if they were Bob. Here’s my take along with some of my readers’ responses:

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #1 

Don’t reply with a sarcastic or quick retort. bullies in the workplace
This is exactly how the Garys in the world want you to react.  Do your best to continue what you were doing and walk away.

I realize that having Gary step on Bob’s foot would create a bit of a problem. Gary is waiting for Bob to push back. It takes a lot of practice to walk away and not react.


You may want to stand up for yourself which is fine.  Just make sure and don’t become sarcastic or loud.
Stay in control and say something like, “Gary, this situation is getting out of hand. And we need to figure out how to move forward. We are on the same team. Let’s meet tomorrow after things cool down.”

You will react in many different directions. I vote for calmness and control.

Please let us know how you would handle this situation in the comment section below.

Stop Your Self-Doubt Strategy #2

Start documenting Gary’s rude/bullying behavior. Show your boss that you are not a tattletale.  You are standing up for yourself and asking for guidance. stop your self doubt | improve communication

If you work for a jerk, you may need to look for another job.  Especially if the stress is affecting your health.

More Thoughts on How to Stop Your Self-Doubt

This series is a personal one for me. I’ve experienced numerous people do their best to bring me down. And they won for many years.  I used to become defensive and didn’t like that at all.  Welcome to the beginning of my quest to figure this stuff out.

Here are some examples:

Scenario #1

“Joyce, why do you wear makeup when you go grocery shopping?”

This used to bother me. I never want to be a diva.  It finally dawned on me that self-care is something important to me. And I share this with coaching clients who need to hear this message.
Self-doubt disappears when we figure out our values. And what’s important to us. Other people have their own agenda and they project their issues onto us!

Scenario #2

“Joyce, why do you read books on psychology and not fiction when you’re on vacation? You need to chill more”

Years ago, I was upset with this kind of question. I thought that there was something strange about me because I didn’t make time to read romance novels or mysteries. 

It didn’t take me long to figure out that comments like these were made by former friends who were upset with something in their life.  They tried to put me down because of their own insecurities.  My passion for supporting others and constant learning is who I choose to be. That’s my final answer! 🙂

Stay tuned for more of my stories and how I changed from feeling unconfident to becoming the Queen of Conflict Resolution. I will also share another true story about jerks and how they impacted my clients – in a negative way.  You’ll also discover how they changed from feeling self-doubt to total confidence.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share your thoughts in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Here’s the link for those who didn’t see this article:  Stop the Rudeness in Your Life:  How to Deal with Jerks #1

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?  It’s easy and fits anyone’s budget and schedule.
Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com for a Free 20 – minute discovery call.

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831