Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Keep Toxic Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays

toxic family members

I hope this poster caught your attention! Was it the words – toxic family members?

This is the time of year for self-care. We need to protect ourselves from those toxic people in our life. 

  • Are you tired of getting a lousy night’s sleep because of toxic relatives or friends?
  • Do you want to reduce that inner stress?

Coaching clients are asking me to help them prepare for family gatherings. Especially those with those difficult family members or friends.
I have first-hand experience in this area. The good news is that my inner stress has improved by using the tips in this article.

Look for part 2 next week. I have so many examples to share either from my life or my clients’ experience.

Tip 1 for Keeping Toxic Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays

Get everyone to agree on what topics are off the table.

You know your family. Do you have those who share their political opinions knowing that this will stir things up?
If so,  express your concern and say something like, “Let’s stay away from politics to make sure our holiday meal is enjoyable for everyone.”

Someone has to stop your holiday from being ruined by that bully or rude guest. I vote that it’s you – even though there’s always a risk when we open our mouths. 

Tip 2 for Keeping Toxic Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays

What to do if you are a guest at someone’s house and you don’t feel comfortable with excessive drinking or toxic conversations. 
Why stay if you are so uncomfortable. Self-care is knowing how to leave the table when respect is no longer being served.

I’ve left a few gatherings in my life when either the conversation or drinking is bothersome. I’m not a prude! This is about taking care of yourself.
We don’t need to be around toxic people who don’t stop their difficult behavior.

Let’s Stay Connected

  • Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
  • How have you handled your toxic family members?
  • You can share in the comment section or send me a private email.
  • Let’s brainstorm any conflict you are experiencing during a complimentary 20-minute laser-focused coaching call.
  • Here’s my calendar. Let’s reduce your inner stress!

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach their employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

 

 

 

 

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Get Ready to Take Control of Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations plague professionals across the board. Supervisors reprimand you in front of others. Coworkers tactlessly reject your ideas. Additionally, clients lash out at people to get what they want.

Rather than pushing back or getting even,  you can gain control of the situation. In fact, seething in silence doesn’t help to diplomatically deal with unkind people. The solution is called Verbal Aikido. It’s a communications technique that won’t get you fired.

What is Aikido?

Aikido is a Japanese form of self-defense. It uses non-resistance to debilitate an opponent’s strength. The Aikido practitioner seeks to counter attacks without bringing harm to the attacker. And creates balance. In other words, when pushed, you pull; when pulled, you push.

This technique is just as effective with verbal attacks. It allows you to respond to a verbal attack by accepting the comment. Additionally, redirecting it, and reaffirming your stance in a positive manner. Avoid being hostile and building emotional barriers!

Verbal Aikido Basics to Get in Control of Difficult Conversations difficult people

The cardinal rule of Verbal Aikido is to not repeat the accusation. By doing so, you absorb the negative message.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #1 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

If someone questions a business purchase with an accusation, “Why are you wasting the company’s money?” Don’t respond by yelling, “I’m not wasting the company’s money! I need these items to perform my job!”

Such a response reinforces the blame on you. Instead, a Verbal Aikido practitioner would redirect the comment by saying, “Let me tell you how I invested the company’s money.”

Your Verbal Aikido response also reaffirms your control over unneeded emotional responses. And gives the other person nothing to push against.

Verbal Aikido EXAMPLE #2 to Gain Control of Difficult Conversations:

Suppose you’re giving constructive feedback to a male coworker who tells you, “What I did is perfectly fine. You’re just too emotional. All you women are alike.”

Instead of becoming “heated” and reinforcing his claim, say, “I agree. I can overreact at times. Let me explain why I feel this way about the situation.”

This response accepts the basis of the situation without absorbing the negative aspects. In fact, you redirect the accusation by agreeing. The response also reaffirms the other person’s feelings of frustration. As a result, you diffuse the confrontation and can work toward repairing the situation.

How would you respond during either one of these 2 examples about Verbal Aikido?

Please share your thoughts and let’s continue this important conversation.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How can you see using Verbal Aikido? 
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.
 

Schedule your complimentary 20 – minute discovery call

 

 

 

 

 

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An Inspirational Interview with Lea Tran | Video

Welcome to Kick Conflict to the Curb: Stomp Out Your Stress.

Are you ready for an inspirational interview this week?

You will find the inspirational interview that I had with Lea Tran, speaker and transformation coach. Lea and I are in the same group: Video Rock Starz. I knew that Lea was going to be a guest for Kick Conflict to the Curb the moment I met her.

We talked about these exciting topics:

  • The importance of opening up dialogue with our family.
  • Lea’s story how she and her family escaped from Vietnam.
  • We cover so much more on the video yet I wrote the highlights below.

 

About Lea Tran

Lea Tran is a former “Boat person” refugee from Vietnam, a dynamic keynote speaker, TEDx speaker, and the author of “I Did Not Miss the Boat”. It highlights her personal struggles to overcome the trauma of war, poverty, and social isolation.

Her story is an important reminder of what makes America truly a great nation. A country that gives promise to everyone who is willing to fight for a second chance in life.

A graduate of Villanova University, Lea started her career as a medicinal chemist for seventeen years and owned a high-end drapery business for ten years in the Greater Philadelphia Area.

As a speaker and a transformation coach, Lea inspires her audience to get out of their comfort zone, to embrace change in uncertain times, creating unexpected opportunities that will propel them forward.

Questions I Asked During Lea’s Inspirational Interview inspirational interview

  1. Tell us about the title of your book, I Did not Miss the Boat.

    It’s all about my family’s escape from Vietnam. My father built a boat that saved 495 people including my family. The boat gave us freedom. We all need to live our lives as we want – that’s total freedom.

  2. Lea, you became confident using your voice. Why did it take so long to write your story?

    It usually takes people 40 years to find their story and voice. That’s how long it took me to find my story and start using my voice.

  3. Tell us about your podcast, Family Roots.

    I wrote the book to find out about myself. The podcast is all about that piece of history.

    My son, Alexander learned about his family after he read, I Did Not Miss the Boat. He started asking me questions about the story. As a result, he created a podcast – Family Roots.

    This started a journey with both of us learning about each other.

    We now understand how different our upbringing has been.

How Can Your Book Help Viewers?

  • The book helps open up the dialogue for other families to start asking questions about their family.
  • All the memories from my childhood were not positive. This is typical of many families. We need to start having these heart-to-heart conversations – no matter what stories we discover.
  • Be proud of your roots and be comfortable in your own skin.
  • Don’t feel judged when you tell others about your background.
  • Reconnect with your roots
  • Open up the dialogue. Talk to your parents and grandparents. I now know that they did the best that they could. They didn’t have the freedom as I have.
  • There’s always some conflict in the family. We are all different in our upbringing.

I read I Did Not Miss The Boat and Highly Recommend It

It’s a great read for people who are curious about what refugees have to go through to find freedom post-Vietnam war.

  • The book triggers a lot of important conversations about diversity and inclusion.
  • It embraces change.
  • Conflict prevention is another theme.
  • Taking action to move your life forward is part of Lea’s message.

Her memoir is a perfect book to gift to friends and family for the holidays. It’s also a great read for book clubs.

You can get an autographed and gift-wrapped copy by going to LeaTran.com. Amazon.com also carries it.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does this inspirational interview with Lea Tran resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

What questions would you like to find out about Lea Tran’s journey? I will include your questions in my next interview with Lea.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below.

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach employees and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

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What Does Freedom Mean to You? Video

This week’s article deals with freedom and what it means to you.

I was asked to create a short video on why freedom is important to me.

Gina Carr and Terry Brock are the guides in Video Rock Starz. They created a 5-day challenge on Funding Your Freedom. You will find more videos in the next few articles.

YouTube player

Here are My Thoughts on Freedom

  • Creating life on my terms.
  • Finding and coaching clients who I enjoy because they are growth-minded.
  • Making time to exercise because it’s part of my day that I love.
  • Spending hours with friends and relatives who are fun to be with.
  • Remaining silent if I chose to be.
  • Using my voice to be heard especially during conflict.
  • Laughing loudly and often.

Freedom and Conflict freedom

My main reason for doing what I do as a conflict resolution coach is to support clients to feel free to use their voices.

I find many clients are concerned about being honest and direct because they are conflict adverse. 

Resolving conflict is something that most of us don’t learn in school.

It doesn’t matter the age of clients concerning feeling comfortable speaking their truth.  

Many of us came from families that didn’t handle conflict well.

The great news is that it doesn’t take long to change our mindset once we learn how to start the conversation.

It’s gratifying seeing clients become free and more confident.  

Hey, anyone who knows me, knows that this has been my story and how I broke free from not using my voice.

What Does Freedom Mean to You?

Now it’s your turn.

Think about what freedom means to you.

Please comment below.

It will be fascinating to read many different answers to this question.

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach emerging leaders, executives, and employees to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

 

 

 

 

 

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How to Face Your Fears: Healthy Ways to Take Action

Today’s Theme is How to Face Your Fears

Actor – Christian Bale’s words mean so much to my coaching clients. Especially when they want to use their voice during tough conversations.

The reality is that there’s always a RISK every time we open our mouths. 

Additionally, fear can be retaliation, rejection, escalating anger, and even getting fired.

 

fear into action

 

Joyce, What Are Your Thoughts How to Face Your Fears?

Those of you who have followed me for years have heard me say, “It’s worth the risk when we plan what we will say before the tough conversation.” 

And that’s why I created the Weiss Communication Success Plan! This consists of my trademarked strategies to help clients know how to start the conversation.

I walked on coals with Tony Robbins at the beginning of my career. That’s putting fear into action!
Read about how I faced my fears with Tony Robbins

How have do you face your fears? 

Let’s Stay Connected

Please share your thoughts about this week’s post. How does it resonate with you?
You can share in the comment section or send me a private email HERE.

 

Until Next Time,

Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP
Communication Coach
Queen of Conflict Resolution

P.S. Please share this post on your social media. As a result, other growth-minded people can reduce their high drama and inner stress. We made it easy for you. The shareable social media links are below. 

P.P.S. I’m the Human Resource Professional’s Partner. I coach emerging leaders, employees, and managers to feel comfortable using their voice without losing their cool – so they feel heard and respected.

P.P.P.S Are you {or your direct reports} ready to explore working with me as your private coach?

Call me at 248.681.5831 or send an email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com to discover how easy this process is. Plus these packages fit with anyone’s budget and schedule.

 

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831