Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

By 2 Comments

My Mother’s “Bike Story”: Seize Every Opportunity!

Sara and Joe 2

Joyce’s Lessons Learned from Her Parents

Our parents and grandparents influenced us in so many ways.
Some of you may have wonderful memories of your youth.
Others may not want to relive those memories.
The question that I ask in my Take the Ride of your Life Workshop is…
How do you live your life because of OR in spite of the lessons learned in your childhood?

My mother Sara and father Joe left a very positive legacy with our family.
I look for opportunities during stress due to the lessons that I learned from my parents.
Any one who knows me, realizes that they better not complain for a long time
without my strong responses on letting go of the small things and changing
what you can in your life! 🙂

I hope that you enjoy another story taken from my book, Take the Ride of Your Life!
3d_taketheride_cover_med

Sara’s Bike Story

Sara learned a wonderful lesson the positive way. Her first bike
experience didn’t take place until after she was married my father, Joe.
It made a strong impression. “During the Depression,” she recalls, “none of us
had any money. People made do then. It was a simpler time. I never
had my own bike or a chance to ride one.

“One day, we went to River Rouge for a picnic and saw that there
were bicycles to rent. My husband taught me how to ride. He was so
gentle! I trusted him completely. Before I knew it, I was off and riding.

In a way, this event sums up what I believe: When I want to do something,
I do it, right then and there. I don’t wait or plan for the perfect
time. I seize the opportunity when it’s there.

“Now I’m in my eighties and am an independent widow. I don’t
want to trouble anyone else if I can help it. When the faucet broke, I
went to the hardware store, bought a new one, and replaced the old
one. It gave me a lot of satisfaction.

Although I haven’t been bike riding in a while, I exercise every day.
When I go places with my daughters, I can keep up with them.
I still drive a car, so I still ‘pedal’— even if it’s with one foot.”

My parents did not complain very often, and had no patience with
those who did. Upbeat, non-judgmental, and full of enthusiasm, Sara and Joe
were always ready to learn new things, because every day offered them new
opportunities, despite obstacles.

Joyce’s Questions for You

Sara didn’t learn how to ride a bike until she was married to my father, Joe.
She didn’t have the opportunity until then and when she saw it, she didn’t wait.

1. What are you waiting for?

2. What do you need to do to live a fulfilled life?

3. What lessons did you learn from your parents or grandparents?

Please answer in the comment section towards the end of this blog post.

Click here for an article on “Warning: Use These 6 Tips to Gain Control at Your Own Risk

Staying Connected with Joyce

Was this helpful?

Please send me any comments that you may have for this blog post.
Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post. Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict in the workplace
and home.  There may be someone in your life who is experiencing stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here for an article on “Warning: Use These 6 Tips to Gain Control at Your Own Risk

PPS Click here to sign up for Joyce’s FREE e-zine and video series on
“Dealing with Conflict in the Workplace.”

PPPS Click here to order your autographed copy of Take the Ride of Your Life!

 

By 8 Comments

Cruel Words Take Root in Us-Learn to Focus on Positives Instead

conflict business man being blamedAt times my clients share stories about how their parents influenced them
either in a positive or negative way. It is amazing how many details many of
us remember-both the good and bad.
We all have our own stories and the content of this post is taken from my book,
Take the Ride of Your Life! Shift Gears from More Balance, Growth and Joy.

Hope that you enjoy it.

joyce on bike reading book

Tom’s Story

Tom’s dad drilled the classic “you’re a loser” mentality into his head at an early age.
But that doesn’t mean Tom became a loser.

Tom, a successful salesperson, was told at an early age not to believe
in himself. “You are a loser. You will never amount to anything.
You will never learn to ride your bike, either,” his father said.
Those cruel words pounded into Tom’s subconscious and took root.

Despite the expectation of failure and the utter lack of love and support,
Tom was determined to learn.
As an adult, he became obsessed with success at work.
“I cannot fail!” he would tell himself.

This became the entire focus of his life, affecting his family and even his health.
Rather than relishing his success, he was afraid of “falling off the bike” of his youth.
He did not realize he was a winner from the first time he “pedaled” with determination
to succeed on his own.

Hope for Tom!

Eventually, Tom was able to see all the positives in his life and discovered
that he trusted himself all along.
He realized he was not only strong and determined — he was a success!

Questions from Joyce

 When did you turn a negative message into something positive?
Post a comment and you will receive a copy of my e-booklet,
“19 Secrets for Successfully Navigating Life’s Potholes, Ruts and Obstacles”

Was this helpful?
Please send me your bike story.  Place your comments in the comment box.
Who taught you how to ride?
What memories do you have about that important time in your life?
What lessons did you learn from your parents or other adults when you were a child?

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who
could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post.  Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition
or home life.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP, CVP

I work with individuals and small groups to make sure that everyone feels heard and respected to Kick Conflict to the Curb!

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

 

By Leave a Comment

Take a Negative Lesson & Turn it into a Postive Change

ride cartoon bumpy road

Here’s another story from my book, Take the Ride of Your Life! Shift Gears for More Balance,Growth and Change. This post will help you when you are experiencing bumpy roads in your life….to reduce conflict in the workplace and home!

What do you use to escape stress and negativity? For Natalie as a child, she always used her bicycle.

Natalie’s Story

Natalie, a production manager for a publisher, learned to channel the stresses of childhood into adult strengths. She used her bicycle to escape her critical dad and alcoholic mom.

“My father taught my brothers and me to ride bicycles. He was a schoolteacher and had patience with everyone but his own children. He tried using anger to motivate me. He’d say, ‘Come on, you can do this. Don’t be a wimp.’ Being told this in earshot of the neighborhood
kids was mortifying.”

“Once I learned how to ride, I would get on my bike and go wherever the bike would take me. Sometimes it would be to a friend’s house, sometimes a ride around the city. I would pedal along highways and even on unpaved, bumpy roads. When things were really bad at home, I would head miles north to get to a beach. My head always felt clearer there. I would often daydream about what life could be like as I rode.”

Self-motivated and self-sustaining, Natalie took the negative lessons of her parents and turned them into positives for herself and her
daughter. She learned courage on her bike.

PS Click here to order your own copy of Take the  Ride of Your Life!
It is an easy summer read.

Two of Joyce’s Favorite Quotes

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.”
Helen Keller

“An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.”
Sir Winston Churchill

Consider the following question:
What would cause you to say…

“Don’t bug me.  Get off my case?”

Please share your thoughts. I will write a future blog about the comments sent to me.

Was this helpful?

Please send me your bike story.  Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.

       Who taught you how to ride?
       What memories do you have about that important time in your life?
       What lessons did you learn from your parents or other adults when you were a child?

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.

Feel free to share this post.  Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com

Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition
or home life. 

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here to order your own copy of Take the  Ride of Your Life! It is an easy summer read.

By Leave a Comment

Do You Remember Your First Bike Ride?

ride cartoon boy sucking thumb

I hope you enjoy another story taken from my book, Take the Ride of Your Life!

Monica’s Story

Monica, a freelance web designer, has an incredibly positive outlook
today, especially as a woman who overcame depression.
She tells of her first bike, a blue one. Her dad taught her how to
ride and she learned very fast. “Dad was always very cautious, whether
it was when I learned to ride a bike or when I started to date.”
When she learned how to ride a bike it helped her gain more independence.
“I remember riding farther and farther away, toward more forbidden places.”

Monica’s Bike Lessons

As a parent, she enjoyed teaching her sons to ride their bikes.
“My older boy learned to balance on his bike when we removed the pedals.
He would get up really early and practice before school.
Once he found his balance, we reattached the pedals.
Now he’s off exploring with his friends and even going off-road.

What to do When You Fall Off your “Bike“

“Sure, he’s had some bad falls.
But what is so fascinating is that before he learned to ride, he was very cautious.
The occasional scrape would reduce him to tears.
Now, he races up to the house, hops off the bike, puts on a Band-Aid, and he’s gone again.
He’s become so much braver — and tougher —since he got his ‘wheels.’

Joyce’s Bike Lesson Tip of the Day

I challenge you to ask yourself if you are a coach helping others grow
or a negative roadblock stopping any progress.
The choice is always there how we move forward.
So, get on your bike, enjoy the ride and slap on that Band-Aid to keep moving!

Was This Helpful?
Please send me your bike story.  Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
Who taught you how to ride?
What memories do you have about that important time in your life?
What lessons did you learn from your parents or other adults when you were a child?

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post.  Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…who could benefit from
the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life.

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here to order your own copy of Take the  Ride of Your Life!
It is an easy summer read.

3d_taketheride_cover_med

By Leave a Comment

Different Does NOT Equal Wrong

cartoons share with neighbor biker 013

This blog post is the 2nd in the series taken from my book,
Take the Ride of Your Life!  Shift Gears for More Balance, Growth and Joy.
Dealing with conflict in the workplace takes a lot of courage at times!
Especially when you may be the only one with an opinion and your entire team disagrees with you.

Different equals different.  Different does not equal wrong.

 

 

 

Click here to find out how to receive your FREE poster on Fast Help for a Tense Workplace

ALYCE’S Story

Even on a broken old Schwinn, Alyce learned the importance of freedom and helping others.

Alyce is a crisis counselor for abused women. She understands the power of asking for and giving help.
She spent her earliest childhood in a Louisiana migrant camp.
She remembers watching her mom pick tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries,
apples, peaches, and cherries under broiling southern skies.

Alyce’s First Bike

“My first bike did not even have wheels.
It was a real old Schwinn.
Everybody took turns pushing each other on it, because it didn’t pedal,” she recalled.

“It had a big seat on it, and we pretty much taught ourselves to ‘ride’ it.
All the kids took turns holding the bike and pushed each other until we skinned our knees.
We had a ball.”
It wasn’t until Alyce turned eleven or twelve and moved to Michigan
that she got her first new bicycle.

Trouble in the Neighborhood

The family experienced racism in their new neighborhood,
but young Alyce and her sisters bounced right through it.

“We were the first black people to move in.
For a long time, the other parents wouldn’t let us play with their children,” she says.
“Eventually the kids outgrew it; we didn’t scare easily and we didn’t know any better.
We’d still go over to play even if they yelled at us.”

Learning Tolerance

Despite the pain racism caused, Alyce’s mother never allowed her daughters
to behave that way in return. “The prejudice made me a stronger person.
It made me realize that no matter what color a person is, you treat them
the way you want to be treated.”

Different Does Not Equal Wrong

Today Alyce’s home has become a shelter for the homeless.
“I always have a house full of children,” she says matter-of-factly.
“They’re people; something I do or say may help them.
Why should I be the one to turn them away?
I want everyone to remember and say, ‘She helped me.’ ”

Alyce’s Bike Lessons

When Alyce thinks about her bikes she has some keen insights.
“That first bike wasn’t complete. Yet, a bunch of kids got together
and supported each other so we could all play. Then all of a sudden, I
had a bike that I could ride myself. It’s like my life.
I love doing things with people, for people.
I’m much more content with this than being by myself.
I’m happy with my life.
Now I have a full bike with everything on it — and I’m sharing it.”

Asking for Help During Conflict

Many of us don’t ask for help because we think it is a sign of
weakness. Asking for help is a strength. It is a sign that you are
taking care of your own needs. Sit down and create a list of people
who can help you feel less pressured. Problem-solving gives you
control of the situation; it allows you to create your own positive
environment amid the stress of everyday chaos.

Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another technique that moves people into action.
It gives control, versus staying stuck and complaining about the same old things.

Life means getting into or out of a crisis most of the time.
Instead of lying in bed feeling angry, hurt, or worried, take the
stress associated with crisis and turn it into positive energy.
Figure out what you need to do to create a more fulfilled life.
Problem solve, be innovative, and don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Gear-Shifting Action Steps

1. Write the name of a negative person who brings you down.
Problem-solve a plan to protect yourself.

2. Who is a cheerleader in your life?
What does this person do to encourage you?

3. Who are you a cheerleader for?
How do you encourage this person to be the best he or she can be?

4. On the left side of a paper, make a list of the situations that troubled you last year.
On the right side, list the effects of each situation.
Hopefully the items on the right side won’t seem so important.

5. What worried me one year ago?
What are the consequences?
At work?
At home?
With relationships?

6.  Now make a list of the troubles you’re facing today.
Visualize how they will turn out one year from now.
What worries me today?
What will be the consequences?
At work?
At home?
With relationships?

Was this helpful?
Please send me your bike story.  Place your comments in the comment box at the end of this post.
       Who taught you how to ride?
       What memories do you have about that important time in your life?
       What lessons did you learn from your parents or other adults when you were a child?

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts.
Feel free to share this post.  Just make sure and give credit to:
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC > www.JoyceWeiss.com
Please let others know about these blog posts on reducing conflict at the workplace and home.
There may be someone in your life who is experiencing some stress…
who could benefit from the inspiration and knowledge on improving their working condition or home life. 

Until next time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Conflict Resolution Consultant

    I help others have tough conversations so they get a better night’s sleep.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

PS Click here to order your own copy of Take the  Ride of Your Life!  It is an easy summer read.

PPS  Click here to find out how to receive your FREE  poster on Fast Help for a Tense Workplace

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831