Hot buttons – we all have them. How do you react when someone pushes yours?
- Do you push back?
- Do you remain silent?
- Do you think of the best answer on your way home?
Do you wish you could react to toxic situations with more control?
If so, you’re in the right place!
Here are three powerful communication strategies to help you be in control:
Strategy #1 to be in control: Pretend you’re in their situation
Figure out why they are behaving this way. Ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their shoes?” This could help you respond in a way that is more helpful since you understand how they may feel.
Strategy #2 to be in control: Use the GAP Technique 
The GAP is a moment when we step back and take a deep breath to decide what we want to say. This is the time to be in control and take a quick moment to think before the wrong words pour out of our mouth.
A stimulus is something that happens to us – someone interrupts us for example.
The response is how we react – what you will say to the interrupter.
I use the following sentence when others interrupt me: “I want to hear what you have to say after I finish my story.”
The GAP is one of my personal favorite communication strategies because it saves me embarrassment by stopping me from saying something that may not be the best response.
Strategy #3 to be in control: Don’t explain or defend yourself when something goes wrong
Calmly acknowledge, apologize and act – never explain. Explanations come across as excuses. Agree if what they say is somewhat true. Don’t blame it on someone else, even when you know who made the mistake.
Use Strategy #3 when a client complains that your company is late with a project: say, “You’re right. We dropped the ball and will do whatever it takes to resolve this issue. I will send it to you by 3 pm today. Here is my cell phone. Please call me anytime. You are in good hands with me.”
Let’s Get Real
There are times when we don’t respond as well as possible especially when others push our buttons. These are learning moments! We can always improve especially when we analyze what went wrong during a tough communication.
Stay tuned for next week’s blog when I describe verbal aikido to give you the strength to be in control.
I want to hear from you
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This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career CoachHave a Great week.
Until next time, Remember – “You Get What You Tolerate!”
PS Do you want more information on how to resolve conflict or advance your career?
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