Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Powerful Leadership Skills to Build Trust at Work

Effective CommunicationDo you want to improve your leadership skills and communication?

Is your team disengaged?

Do employees push back?

Are you rescuing employees instead of having them take care of their own conflict at work?

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them –
Ernest Hemingway

This article covers frustrations that my clients experience at work. I interview clients before each coaching program or workshop and specific patterns are apparent.

What are Some Leadership Frustrations?


Top level leaders are exhausted because they are taking over the responsibility from their directors or managers who are not having tough conversations with their team.

The same communication issues occur and nothing seems to get resolved.

Why Does This Happen?

As you know many managers/directors are not trained sufficiently on how to deal with tough conversations. The untrained managers know their job responsibilities. Employee push-back, gossip or any conflict are all issues that they want their boss to resolve.

How Can Top Managers Improve their Leadership Skills?

Top level leaders must have that tough conversation even if their senior staff pushes back and says, “I’m too busy to have productive conversations with employees.” Everyone is busy. It’s the responsibility of upper management to empower the entire team so they feel safe and to solve their own “drama” with bullies, narcissists, or low productive employees. At times leaders need to help managers or team members if a resolution is not found.

Specifically, What Can You DO to Change?

Stop rescuing your team by taking over their job responsibilities especially if your communication skills are excellent. This is your time to train managers and directors to do this on their own. You may think that I’m sounding like MRS. Tough Gal. I’m not. I hear complaints daily about employee morale and some leaders are in a rut and continue this same pattern.

Whose Responsibility is it Anyway?

Everyone’s – not just top leaders, the entire team. It will take you longer to resolve this conflict in the workplace if there’s no trust or lack of training programs. But it’s solvable. Recognize that there is a conflict with communication in your organization and do something immediately.

What Resources Do You Have for Us to Improve Our Leadership Skills?

I want to hear from you

Send me an E-mail describing the frustrations and stress that you experience at work with colleagues or leaders?

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts to reduce conflict and improve leadership skills.

This is Joyce Weiss, Executive and Career Coach

Please visit our FAQ page to discover how our services can help your improve your organization’s communication?

Until next time, Remember…“You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS. Read my article on How to Set Boundaries at Work

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5 Words to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Reducing conflict in the workplace is the most requested program from my clients.  For those of you who have attended one of these powerful sessions, you may remember a phrase that I shared with you:  You Get What You Tolerate.  I always ask my audience to express what the phrase means to them.  The discussion is usually about how we allow others to be disrespectful (bullies) or how we don’t confront poor behavior in meetings or in the workplace.  That is if we don’t address the conflict directly and respectfully. 

Hopefully, the 2 case scenarios below will address some of your concerns.

Conflict in the Workplace Scenario #1:   
Dealing with a sarcastic person

You are speaking with your team and Sarcastic Sam constantly uses his negative words to discount a creative conversation.  Remember, You Get what You Tolerate if you don’t have the tough conversation with Sam.  Sam, says, “Here we go again, you know that these meetings are always a waste of time and nothing ever changes around here.”  This is the time when you can say, “Nothing ever changes around here?”  Repeating his sarcastic accusation may show Sam that his words are not accurate.  Other team members may add to the conversation by reminding Sam about all of the changes. 

Conflict in the Workplace Scenario #2: 
Dealing with a rude person while listening to a presenter

You are in the audience listening to an interesting speaker and the person next to you continuously whispers to you that he is bored out of his mind.  Remember, You Get What You Tolerate!  You can keep silent and resent the interruption or you can say, “I don’t want to miss anything that the speaker is saying.  I do want to hear his interesting message.”  All you did was ask him to shut his mouth without being rude to him.  I don’t want/I do want is worth practicing since it is a great way to start the conversation.

More Thoughts from Joyce to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

It’s always a risk when we have tough conversations.  That’s why I share my strategies in our communication toolbox. Repeat Sarcastic Sam’s exaggerations the next time he tries to bring the team down.  This one tool is easy to use and may give you great results.

Another one of my favorite communication strategies is to make conversations safe by using  I don’t want/I do want.  Click Here to watch a video of mine on How to Improve Communication with Negative People from 2010.  The information is current even though the quality of the video is not! 🙂  Hey, we all strive to get better!  

The expression You Get What You Tolerate reminds my clients to respectfully have these tough conversations.  It’s time to say these 5 little words when you are with a rude person or an interrupter. 

I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions about how to deal with the Sarcastic Sams at your workplace.  What has your experience with them? 

Do You Want to See How Your Communication Impacts Your Success at Work?
CLICK HERE to take the easy and fun Communicate with Impact Quiz. You will get your results immediately and learn more about setting boundaries to be more effective at work and in your life. Sound good?
Here’s the LINK

CLICK HERE to learn how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

You can start tackling tough conversations with bullies, different generations, and even narcissists once you learn the powerful strategies. I will do whatever it takes to help you improve your quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and online professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

PS  Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Conflict in the Workplace Knowledge Page https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace/

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Strategic Communications: Disarm Tough Conversations

Have you been involved in difficult conversations when you wished you had strategic communications skills in your tool box?

Do you want to stop making others feel defensive while giving them constructive feedback? 

If so, Great!  This article will give you 5 strategies to use the next time you are in these complex situations. We’ve all dealt with people who become defensive.  How you react can influence your future relationship with this person.

Strategic Communications #1- Understand Your Role

  1. When someone responds defensively to you, ask yourself,“What did I just do to cause that defensive reaction?”
  1. Whenever someone says or does something that causes you to become defensive, ask yourself, “What did that person do to cause that reaction from me?”

Strategic Communications #2 – Use Constructive Feedback Wisely

Constructive feedback is a gift that you give to people you truly care about.  This statement is hard for some people to grasp.  Think about a time when someone gave you feedback in a constructive way.  What did you learn from this experience?  Use that knowledge to help your coworkers.  

Strategic Communications # 3 – Disarm Toxic Comments

The next time you’re confronted with a toxic comment, be prepared!  Pretend you’re in their situation. Figure out why they are behaving this way.  This helps us respond, not react.  Ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their shoes?”  We can’t put our head on their shoulders.

Strategic Communications #4 – Know How to React

If the toxic comment were delivered as constructive criticism, would there be any truth to it?  If so, how will you react?

  • Don’t explain or defend yourself when something goes wrong.
  • Acknowledge, apologize and act – versus explain.  Explanations come across as excuses. 
  • Agree if what they say is somewhat true. 
  • Don’t blame it on someone else, even when you know who made the mistake.

Strategic Communications # 5 – Know What NOT to Do

When people give feedback, they do it to influence future behavior – not to change the past.  Though it may be difficult to hear, try to listen and:

  1. Don’t defend yourself
  2. Don’t deny responsibility
  3. Don’t counter attack
  4. Don’t withdraw

I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to send me your questions about your communication issues at work. How do you react when someone pushes you?  What have your learned about yourself when you have pushed others?  Understanding these reactions will improve your communication skills and take you to the next level in your career development.

CLICK HERE if you want more ideas on how to improve your career and working condition by signing up for Tips2BeHappy.com.  You will receive weekly strategies to put to use immediately.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

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How to Deal with a Workplace Bully: Video Interview with Terry Brock CSP, CPAE

Are you a leader or employee who works with a workplace bully?  Do you want to learn easy ways to deal with this person?  Great! This article will provide 3 techniques that you can use immediately to resolve conflict in the workplace.

Workplace Bullies Create Stress for ALL of Us

This bully could be your colleague or boss.  
The bully can also exhibit traits of narcissists which causes MANY communication and relationship issues.  
The narcissist can exist at home or work and suffer from the “I” syndrome.  
They are the drama kings or queens  who feel the world exists just for their needs.

Video Interview with International Hall of Fame Social Media Marketing Speaker – Terry Brock

My colleague and friend Terry Brock interviewed me on how to deal with these difficult people.  Terry is a syndicated columnist with business journals and author of Klout Matters.  He brings a passion for technology, a sense of history and real world business strategies.  You can reach him at 407.363.0505 and Terry@TerryBrock.com.  Enjoy the video and start thinking about who creates stress for you at work or home.  It could be a workplace bully.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies and Narcissists

Set boundaries with bullies and narcissists.
People fear workplace bullies.  No one may have tried to stop these harmful behaviors.
Believe me when I say that they impede on your time and self-respect!

What if the Workplace Bully is Your Boss?

I suggest that you wait until the next day to have the tough conversation so you can create a results oriented discussion.  You can always start with one of my favorite expressions:  “I was caught off guard”
along with “I don’t want” and “I do want.”
“I was caught off guard when we spoke yesterday.  I don’t want to cause stress.  I do want to have an important discussion to improve communication in our department.”  If your boss is listening to you, this could be a great way to continue the conversation.  If your boss has numerous bullying behaviors it may be hard to obtain the results that you want.

Step into the GAP to Gain Control

The GAP technique is helpful to use when you don’t have the luxury to wait until the next day. 
Step back from the conversation and ask yourself how you want to respond.  You can ignore the comment from the workplace bully, ask a question, or even ask the bully what suggestions he or she has to move forward to resolve the conflict since this is very important to the morale at work.

Want to Learn More?
Remember that I recently launched Communicate with Impact.  This premier program helps people gain control of difficult people and improves the working condition. Sound Good?  CLICK HERE to see how others have improved their working condition.

I Want to Hear From You
How have you dealt with a workplace bully? Was this bully your boss?  If so how did you resolve this issue without being fired?  CLICK HERE to share your experience.

Until Next Time,
This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

Feel free to call me at 800.713.1926 concerning your own team, executive retreats or leadership development.

Remember…You Get What You Tolerate!

See you next week.

CLICK HERE to learn how Joyce can help your company eliminate workplace bullying

READ more articles and listen to podcasts at our bullying in the workplace knowledge base https://www.joyceweiss.com/resources/knowledge-base/bullying-in-the-workplace/

 

 

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Gain Control During Chaotic Times…Radio Interview

Do you want to find more fulfillment at work or home?
Is there someone who is making your life miserable?
Do you want to improve your quality of life?
Do you want to figure out how to handle stress better in your life?

If so…continue reading. If not you may be in denial! 🙂

Conston Taylor from Business Innovators Radio recently interviewed me about the above questions. Conston asked me to share my background and how I became an expert in resolving conflict in the workplace. I shared a time when I was bullied a few months ago and how I handled it.

Enjoy the interview by clicking on the link below.
 Business Innovators Radio Interview

Here are a few ideas from the interview.

What are some misconceptions about dealing with conflict?

  • I’m too shy and don’t want to tell others what I’m really thinking
  • I was brought up to respect elders and “can’t” be honest with my boss

If you are shy, you can continue keeping your thoughts inside or…learn strategies on how other shy people figured out how to have safe conversations and get great results. It is a great concept if your culture teaches you about respecting elders. There are safe exercises to practice which will still respect others while allowing yourself to gain respect and most importantly of all to feel great about yourself.

2 strategies on how to create safe conversations

  • Use “I don’t want to…” “I do want to…” For example “I don’t want to create stress between us, I do want to improve our working relationship.” This one idea can bring down walls and get you great results. The main idea is to say this statement calmly and realize that not ALL communications are successful. The more you practice this idea, the better you will be able to create safe conversations.
  • Use the GAP by asking yourself how you want to react during a conversation. You can decide not to say anything or express yourself in a confident way. The idea is not to blurt out words without thinking what you want to express. Taking a breath or even stepping back for a day and deciding how you want to proceed will help you find your power.

Main ideas from Joyce’s books

  • Full Speed Ahead: Become Driven by Change
    You can look at change as stress or an opportunity. Readers can take each chapter and create an entire meeting or mini workshop by using the activities. Your team can discuss the concepts in the chapters.
  • Take the Ride of Your Life: Shift Gears For More Balance, Growth and Joy
    Find answers to your own bike story by finding fulfillment and what you need to do to improve your quality of life. I use a bike metaphor by asking readers to look at who taught them how to ride their first 2 wheel bike without training wheels and how this turning point affects them today. You will read stories that are very inspirational on how others turned negative things around. Plus there are many humorous aspects in each chapter along with cartoons from Schwinn Bicycles.
  • Communicate with Impact: Be Direct with Respect®
    This e-book is part of our new On Line PREMIER Coaching Program. You will receive more details shortly when we launch it to our readers. The ideas will help people express themselves and get the respect that they deserve. It will also help leaders to give cost effective coaching to their managers and directors. Stay tuned!

CLICK HERE to review all 3 of these products

I want to hear from you!
CLICK HERE to send me your questions or concerns.

Want to share or use this Article in Your Newsletter or on Your Website?

Of course! You are welcome to print this, and any other articles we send, if you use the following byline:
Joyce Weiss, M.A., CSP is a recognized expert on working with clients to build leadership and communication skills that make them top performers in their industry. Joyce is an author, Communication Strategist, and a Certified Speaking Professional. Call 800.713.1926 or email: Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com and explore options on working with Joyce to learn powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations.
Visit her website at ConflictInTheWorkplace.com to sign up for your own FREE video series and Communicate with Impact Weekly to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace.

Until next time,

This is Joyce Weiss, Communication Strategist and Coach

I share powerful techniques on tackling tough conversations to build employee engagement, accountability, and improve my client’s quality of life.

Feel free to call me (800.713.1926) concerning your own team/executive retreats, workshops, and on line professional growth coaching.

Remember…You Get What YOU Tolerate!

See YOU Next Week.

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831