Joyce Weiss

I work with organizations and individuals who want to kick conflict and chaos to the curb - Queen of Conflict Resolution and Communication Coach

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Improving Communication with a Challenging Colleague

I’m asked the following question during my corporate communication strategy sessions, “Is improving communication possible with someone who causes me such stress?”  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get along with a certain coworker. Maybe your personalities are just too different, or perhaps your work processes and preferences conflict. Despite this fact, you still have to work together—sometimes very closely—so it is important to establish a relationship of cooperation and respect.

But cooperation and respect can be hard to maintain. The key to improving communication is to get the other person to agree on this relationship goal and then work together to keep the cooperation and respect strong. Therefore, set up a meeting with the coworker who is troubling you and together answer these seven questions. With the insight you glean from the answers to these questions, you can move toward productive results.

Improving Communication Tip 1:  What is our main challenge?

You need to pinpoint what specifically keeps you from having a working relationship based on cooperation and improving communicationrespect. Does it have to do with work styles, personalities, ethnicity/cultural differences, etc.? You need to know what you must overcome before you can actually do it.

Improving Communication Tip 2:  How are we different?

Suppose that you figure out that your conflicting work styles cause the friction. The next step is to identify specifically how your work styles are different. For example, maybe you discover that while you prefer to have email communications, your coworker finds email cold and impersonal and wants face-to-face meetings. At this point, remember not to blame each other for the difference or defend yourself. You want to find how to capitalize on your differences.

Improving Communication Tip 3:  How are we the same?

Despite your differences, you likely have a few similarities. In fact, at one point in your history together, you probably did one project together—even a small one—well. What worked during that project? The key is for you to build off your similarities to establish cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 4:  What opportunities are within our reach?

In other words, if you work together, what can you accomplish together? This question gets you to think positively about the other person so you can have the motivation to work together in a way that fosters cooperation and respect.

Improving Communication Tip 5:  How can others in the department or company help us?communication strategy

Remember that you’re not alone. Others in your department or company want you to develop mutual cooperation and respect. Identify who those people are and get their input.

Improving Communication Tip 6:  How can we communicate with each other better?

To work on your relationship, try spending some time together. This does not mean hanging out together on weekends. It simply means for you to go to lunch together periodically or agree to meet for 20 minutes every Monday to review weekly goals. Do something to get the dialog started.

Improving Communication Tip 7:  How can we amaze ourselves?

Determine what would be an amazing experience for the two of you working together. Describe it in great detail. Use that vision to guide your future working efforts. Before you know it, you’ll have a solid base of cooperation and respect from which to build.

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on a communication challenge that you’re having with a colleague.  Let me know strategies you used by improving communication with a difficult colleague.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of communication, leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization experience my customized workshops here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

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Life Coaching Strategies: Falling Down Isn’t the Problem

Would you like to learn life coaching strategies the next time you make a mistake or feel stuck in your life?  If so, you are in the right place.  Life is fraught with uncertainty. No matter how hard we try to avoid the potholes, there’s always another obstacle looming on the horizon.

I just coined this quote, Resolving Conflict is just like riding a bike:  Shift gears to successfully navigate life’s potholes, ruts, and obstacles. 

How we recover from our personal and professional mistakes makes all the difference in the world. This article contains information from my second book, Take the Ride of Your Life!  You will find useful tools for making that graceful recovery.

Life Coaching Strategies # 1:  Look at those old patterns life coaching strategies

The obvious mistakes are easy to correct … it’s what we don’t see that causes the most damage. Have you ever noticed certain situations keep popping up? And some problems just get worse?

Start observing your rituals. This will help you decide which patterns are working and which ones are keeping you down.

Life Coaching Strategies #2:  Get some positive feedback

The most valuable and underused tool we have is input from our true friends. Who else can you trust when you’re stuck in a rut?

It’s difficult to recognize our own shortcomings, but a trustworthy friend can gently introduce areas for improvement. Open yourself to hearing what they have to say, and drop the defense mechanisms!

With your eyes newly opened, look for new ways of dealing with habitual mistakes, write down an action plan, and see how it works.

Life Coaching Strategies #3:  Forgive yourself

Our inner voices can be merciless! Forgive yourself. Quit carrying the guilt and shame around like a heavy suitcase. Torturing yourself with past failures helps you achieve … nothing.

Blame is another reason we don’t always get over our mistakes. We blame others for our mistakes, thinking this will shrink our guilt.

Once you get beyond guilt and blame, you can start enjoying the ride.

If you want to gain more tips on new facts about stress, check out the link for your own copy of the
life coaching book, Take The Ride of Your Life! 

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments here on what you do to overcome your mistakes.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve their quality of life.

Learn how I can leverage my 30+ years of leadership consulting and coaching experience to help your organization address life coaching strategies here.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

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5 Easy Steps to Reduce Conflict in the Workplace

Resolving conflict in the workplace is usually a huge concern in any company or group situation, conflicts are bound to happen. When two or more people with varying personalities work together, communication differences, work style preferences, and conflicting opinions are inevitable. The key is to be able to overcome any differences so everyone stays productive and the organization excels.  It’s not easy to do yet it is possible.

How about discussions on politics?  I will not cover this conflict since people don’t know how to control their anger when discussing politics with someone who has an opposing opinion.  Does this happen in your family too? 🙂

My coaching clients use these five steps to reduce conflict in the workplace whenever interpersonal conflict arises during tough conversations.  They’ll save you both time and headaches. A true benefit is that you will even gain control back with difficult people.  I hope you are eager how you can make this happen.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #1:  Identify the Situation

While this step may seem obvious, you need to remember to think in specifics. Simply saying, “The marketing department drives me crazy with their ‘pie in the sky’ thinking,” will not help you resolve the issue. You need to precisely pinpoint who is causing the conflict as well as what he or she does that upsets you.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #2:  Make an Appointment to Discuss the Conflict conflict in the workplace

Once you’ve figured out the specifics, you need to meet with the person. Go to his or her office and say, “I need to talk to you about our working relationship. Would you be willing to meet me for lunch on Thursday?” Whatever you do, don’t barge into the person’s office and start accusing him or her of things. You want to meet the person in a public area so the conversation stays civil.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #3:  Craft your “I” message

The first few words you say to the person will set the tone for the rest of the meeting. Therefore, make sure you don’t accuse the person or put him or her on the defensive by using “you” statements, as in, “You are always late for work and you’re making my job very hard.” Instead, follow this formula:

I am ______________ when ____________ because _____________.
(your responsibility)         (non-judgmental)                 (how it affects you)

For example, “I am frustrated when the team agreed to be punctual for our morning meetings because people are breaking this rule.  People who are on time are upset and this is affecting the team morale.” This approach takes the attention away from the person and focuses it on the behavior that is causing conflict.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #4:  Set your Goal

conflict in the workplaceThink of what the other person will say and what you will say in response. Additionally, plan the desired changes you would like to see the other person implement. Don’t forget that no conflict is one-sided. You must look at the other person’s side of things and find out what you can do to make work easier for him or her too.

Conflict in the Workplace Strategy #5:  Get closure

Before leaving the meeting, detail the specific agreements both parties have made. Shake hands, and then choose a date and time that you’ll meet again to evaluate overall progress.

Conflicts don’t have to be ugly situations that cause grief and pain. Anyone can resolve conflicts by being Direct with Respect® and by keeping an open mind. The more you work toward resolving conflict in the workplace, the more successful you’ll be in business and in life.

You may even resolve those family discussions about NOT discussing politics when the anger starts making family members feel uncomfortable! 😊

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on what is and what is not working when conflict is an issue at work.  Does leadership promote resolving the conflict or hope that it will disappear?  You’ll receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

This is Joyce Weiss
Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

PS  Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Knowledge Base Page conflict in the workplace Here.

LEARN MORE how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace Here.

 

 

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All Truths Passes Through Three Stages

This week’s post is about the importance of risk and speaking up even when you don’t know how others will react to your statement.  Clients constantly tell me that they held ideas in for years because past leaders either ignored the comments or ridiculed the ideas.

None of us like to be ignored or ridiculed.  I totally understand this concept.  I challenge all my clients to make a plan to communicate their ideas to leadership.  Once they feel comfortable with the plan, they share the ideas.  85% report back to me that not only were the ideas implemented, leadership appreciated the candor.  15% didn’t have the same positive experience about their communication-mainly because of poor leaders who either micromanaged or didn’t listen to the input from employees.

#arthurschopenhauer
#3stagesoftruth
#favoritequotes
#favoritequote

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments on how you shared an idea with top leadership.  Did the conversation go well- Or were you ridiculed and ignored?
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

This is Joyce Weiss, Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Conflict in the Workplace Knowledge Page

 

 

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Conflict Resolution Techniques to Ditch Negative People

Conflict resolution techniques help my clients cope especially when they are surrounded by complainers and the other usual negative suspects.

Below you will find two of my favorite expressions that I share with my clients who want to ditch negative people in their life.
1.  Don’t walk away from grumpy people, RUN!
2. Resolving conflict is like riding a bike:  Shift gears to successfully navigate life’s potholes, ruts, and obstacles.

This article contains three conflict resolution techniques that I use in my coaching sessions to help clients protect themselves from those toxic downers.

Conflict Resolution Techniques #1:  Protecting Yourself

Write the name of a person who brings you down. Plan to protect yourself from this person’s negativity.  Take back your power. Only you can make yourself feel insecure.  Tell yourself that no one makes you feel inferior without your consent.

Conflict Resolution Techniques #2:  Finding People Who Appreciate You

Make a list of people who you like being around.  Replace people who pull you down with people who encourage and appreciate you. The choice, in many cases, is up to you.  They may be your colleagues who support your efforts at work or friends who like you for your unique style.

Identify cheerleaders in your life. Notice what they do to encourage you. Let them know how they have impacted your life.

Conflict Resolution Techniques #3:  Preparing a Response to Stop Negatoids

Notice the people in your life who are raining on your parade, who tell you something can’t be done or that’s impossible. Give them plenty of space, with a suggestion such as “Don’t’ tell me it’s impossible until after I’ve done it!”

Let the cynics and downers spin themselves into their own negative web. They delight in complaining while others are doing what seemed impossible.

“Happy people feel that they can direct the course of their own lives and get where they are going, even though the going may be rough. People who are obsessed with their mistakes, who are stuck on the missed opportunities of the past, have no time to be happy. The past is unchangeable. Trying to change it is the source of most unhappiness.”

Sherwin T. Wine, Founder, The Center for New Thinking

I want to hear from you

Send me your questions or comments here on how you cope with negative people at work or home.  This is a challenge for all of us and there is always hope when we gain control from these toxic people.
You will receive a response from me because I enjoy connecting with my loyal readers! 🙂

Please share this and any article that speaks to you or your company.

Loyal readers like you help us find more people who could benefit from these posts. Help us help them reduce conflict and improve leadership skills and quality of life.

Read more articles and listen to podcasts at our Knowledge Base Page Conflict in the Workplace Here.

This is Joyce Weiss, Corporate Communication Strategist and Career Coach

LEARN MORE how Joyce can help your company eliminate destructive conflict in the workplace here.

Until next time, Remember…”You Get What You Tolerate!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Contact Joyce

Email: joyce@joyceweiss.com
Phone: 248-681-5831